Chapter 23

Sarah

If you asked me last month how I pictured my year ending, I would have said that I would be with my family for Christmas, spending my days off from work doing art and other creative things at home and entering the new year with a bang. That was how it was every year for as long as I’ve been working.

Now, everything is different. I never imagined I wouldn’t be living in my house anymore, that I would have been evicted before Christmas. It’s an awful thing. So awful, I never even considered it to be possible because it’s such an unimaginable thing.

But that happened. And now, I’m here in a cabin just outside town with nowhere to go once I’ve worn out my welcome here.

I also never would have thought I’d be snowed in, let alone with a man who is very quickly proving to be the man of my dreams. If this cabin were in the mountains, it would make sense that being snowed in is a possibility, but this place is so close to town that even Graham didn’t expect it, and he owns the place.

Still, I don’t mind. I like being with Graham. I enjoy spending my time with him, getting to know him, and he treats me like I’m the most important thing in his life right now. Of course, with us being stuck here, there’s nothing else that can take precedent, and I know it’s an illusion of sorts, but I’m enjoying it. I will enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

Graham and I have only just started seeing each other, but I’m starting to think that I want to be with him. That’s a big deal. I don’t just jump into relationships like this, and I met him such a short while ago. But what is it they say? When you know, you know. And I think I know.

Of course, I’m not just going to jump into all sorts of fantasies about white weddings or anything, but I want to take this further with him and see where it goes.

“What do you want to do?” Graham asks me after we make out for a while.

“Well, seeing that it’s Christmas, maybe we should finish off those Christmas movies.”

“You’re on,” Graham says, and he puts in Arthur Christmas for us — one of the newest moves in the pile.

“I love this one,” I say. “So does Lindsay.”

Graham sits down next to me on the couch, and I snuggle up to him the way I’ve been doing every time we watch something.

“I don’t know if my nieces and nephew have seen it,” Graham says. “Do you mind if I take it with me when I go see them?”

I blink up at him. “Of course. This place and everything in it is yours.”

Graham shrugs, and we turn our attention to the movie.

After the movie, Graham and I make a late lunch. We have leftover food after our dinner last night — there is a dish of mashed potatoes still in the fridge — and Graham finds a packet of ham that he bought, and we’d previously overlooked. He makes us ham and mashed potato sandwiches, which I’d never previously had.

“This is surprisingly good,” I say.

“You’ve never had this before?” Graham asks.

I shake my head, chewing.

“Well, it’s better with Christmas ham and not the processed sandwich stuff. I’ll make it for you next year.”

I like that he says that. He’s looking a year into the future, and he sees me in the picture. Of course, anything can happen between then and now, but I let myself entertain the thought.

After lunch, we play Clue. When I look out of the window, snow has started falling again.

“Oh no,” I say.

“I think it will be okay,” Graham says. “It’s just a few flakes.”

I nod and try to focus on the game. We talk about life while we play, which means that we barely play because you have to concentrate to play Clue.

“What was life like for you and Britney growing up?” I ask Graham. “You’ve only told me about your Christmases.”

Graham shrugs. We don’t often talk about the serious things, but we’ve spent enough time together that it’s starting to feel like we can.

“My parents died when Britney and I were quite young. My maternal grandparents took us in and raised us. They were kind people, putting their lives on hold to raise us, but we were never close to them the way we were with our parents.”

I nod. My heart aches for him. “That must have been so hard,” I say.

Graham shrugs. He’s a man who doesn’t want to show emotions, but I can see that it’s a tough topic for him. “You get used to it, I guess. It was the hand life dealt us. My grandparents passed away, one shortly after the other when I was fresh out of college. Since then, it’s just been Britney and me. All we have is each other. Sometimes, I think that’s why James happened.”

“Is that her husband?” I ask.

Graham looks at me, and his face changes. I can’t read his expression, but it’s clear he doesn’t want to tell me more. I don’t blame him. After everything they’ve been through, I would want to focus on only the good things, too.

“What about you?” Graham asks. “It’s your turn.”

“My childhood was nothing special. Compared to yours, it was quite tame. Monica and I grew up in a normal family, with a mom who was too soft and a dad who filled in the gaps. I love my sister, and I’m close to both my parents. The only thing that didn’t go according to plan in our cut-and-paste lives is that I didn’t marry and have babies right away, like Monica did.”

Graham grins. “And thank God for that, or none of this would have happened.”

I smile at him, my cheeks burning again. I always blush when he talks to me like that. How embarrassing.

“Our lives are complete opposites, though,” I say. “We grew up in such different circumstances.”

Graham nods. “You’re right. But opposites attract.”

He’s got that look in his eyes again — the look that makes me think he’s thinking back to when we had sex — and I blush even harder. I think about that often. I don’t know if it’s going to happen again. I don’t think Graham regrets it. He kisses me more now and holds me just for the sake of holding me. But despite being stuck in such close quarters all the time, he’s making a point of taking it slow. A part of me is grateful, of course.

And a part of me wants to scream because I want it to be wild and carefree. But taking it slow is the better option, of course. So, we still sleep in separate rooms, and we spend most of our time as friends, not lovers.

That Graham is also serious about taking it slow is a good sign. It means he’s serious about me. I don’t get the feeling he’s just messing around with me or leading me to believe something that’s not true. For the first time, I feel like I have met a man who doesn’t have ulterior motives, that will be upfront with me no matter what.

How did it happen that the perfect guy for me was next door at first and now stuck in a cabin with me? I’ve always believed in fate, but this is just strengthening my belief that this was meant to be.

People often say that if something seems too good to be true, it is. Well, I disagree. Because everything about Graham seems perfect.