Chapter Thirty − A Telltale Sign
Upon waking the next morning, Madeline once more found her husband had disappeared from her bed and wondered if he had gone to see the Widow Dunning. A dull ache came to her chest at the thought; however, Madeline quickly pushed it away. Reminding herself not to care, she got dressed and hurried down the corridor to Collin’s room. Quietly, she eased open the door and peeked inside.
Although the curtains were drawn, the late morning sun reached inside here and there, casting a warm glow over the small space. Collin lay still in his bed, his mother by his side, her head resting on the mattress, her hand wrapped around his. A warm fire burnt in the hearth, and the room was littered with bowls filled with steaming water, making the air a bit humid.
Stepping inside, Madeline quickly closed the door, not wanting the steamy warmth to escape the room. Quietly, she walked closer, her gaze fixed on the little boy.
Then Kara stirred, one hand immediately going to her belly, reassuring the child within.
Placing a gentle hand on her sister-in-law’s shoulder, Madeline asked, “How is he?”
Kara swallowed, eyes searching her son’s face. “I’m not sure,” she whispered, hope and fear battling within her. “I fed him a bowl of soup throughout the night, spoon by spoon, and it seemed to do him good. He doesn’t look as pale anymore.”
Madeline frowned, unable to detect an improvement in Collin’s complexion. However, Kara was his mother and she had been with him the whole night. Maybe only a mother could detect these minuscule changes in her child.
“He is breathing a bit easier, too,” Kara continued, her voice rising slightly at the end as though she was asking for confirmation. “It’s been only a day. We cannot expect too much so soon.”
Madeline nodded. “You’re right. He does seem to rest easier.”
A relieved smile came to Kara’s face.
“How are you?” Madeline enquired, noting the dark circles under her sister-in-law’s eyes.
“I’m fine.” Shaking her head, Kara waved Madeline’s concerns away.
Grasping the young mother’s hand, Madeline pulled her to her feet, meeting her gaze. “Go downstairs and eat something.”
Kara opened her mouth to argue.
“No!” Madeline insisted gently but firmly. “Collin needs you, and you’re no help to him if you don’t take care of yourself. Go and eat something. Wash up and change. I’ll stay with him. He will not be alone, and I promise to call you if something changes.”
For a moment, Kara hesitated, glancing at her sleeping child. Then she nodded. “All right, I’ll only be a few moments.”
“Take your time,” Madeline insisted, ushering her sister-in-law out the door. Then she turned back to her little nephew and went to sit by his bed. He seemed even smaller than before, his little hands limp and without strength.
Remembering the rambunctious child, who had called her Maddie from the first moment they had met, Madeline could not believe that they might lose him. What would the house feel like without his laughter? Without his many questions? The thought constricted her throat, and she felt as though she could not breathe.
Footsteps echoed from outside the door, and Madeline quickly brushed away the tears that had escaped her tight control. However, it was not Kara who entered, but Dr. Rosen.
“Doctor, good morning.”
“Good morning, my lady,” Dr. Rosen greeted her before his gaze shifted to Collin. “How is our little patient?”
Madeline shrugged. “His mother believes he is doing better.” She looked at the doctor. “Is he?”
Stepping up to the child, Dr. Rosen felt his head, held his ear to his chest and listened to his breathing before stepping back. “I do believe we have reason to be hopeful,” he said carefully.
Madeline, however, felt as though a huge rock had been lifted off her chest. “Thank you,” she gasped, sinking back onto the chair, her body suddenly exhausted.
“Mind, though, that he is not out of the woods yet,” Dr. Rosen reminded her sternly. “Far from it. He still has a long way to go if he is to recover.”
Madeline nodded. “We shall continue to heed your advice. You have my word.”
Satisfied, Dr. Rosen nodded before turning to leave. “I shall return soon to see to him.”
When the door closed behind the doctor, Madeline turned back to the little boy. “Did you hear that?” she whispered, gently brushing a stray curl from his little forehead. “You’re doing better. You’ll be fine. I’m certain of it. Don’t give up, Collin. Please, don’t give up.” Watching him sleep, Madeline could not help but run her hand over his arms or brush it over his forehead, feeling the need to let him know that he was not alone, that she was there watching over him.
Occasionally, a soft smile would tug up the corners of his mouth, and Madeline prayed that he was lost in a world of sweet dreams that made him feel safe and loved.
Again, she skimmed a finger over his cheek, and a ghost of a smile danced over his face before he sighed, turning his head to the side.
Watching him, Madeline smiled…before the breath caught in her throat.
Right there, below Collin’s right ear, a small almond-shaped mole stared back at her, sending Madeline’s mind back to a late summer day only a few months ago. With her friend Elsbeth, she had strolled through Hyde Park, regretting the turn her life had taken, when they had come upon the man she had hoped to marry, Lord Townsend.
Blinking, Madeline felt her thoughts run rampant as her eyes travelled from the small mole below Collin’s right ear to the boy’s dark blond curls, the way they curved and fell past his ears, and she remembered the startling blue of his eyes that glowed like stars in the night sky whenever excitement seized him.
Could this be?
Lost in her thoughts, Madeline barely heard the door open. Only when Kara’s voice spoke out beside her, did she look up.
“Dr. Rosen told me that there is reason to hope,” Kara said, caution and awe mingling as she spoke, her gaze looking down at the little boy who held her heart. Then she looked at Madeline, and her eyes widened in alarm. “What is it? Has he taken a turn for the worse?” Rushing to Collin’s side, she felt his head, then took his hands in hers, her eyes searching his face.
“No, nothing’s wrong, Kara,” Madeline rushed to assure her. “I’m sorry. I did not mean to frighten you. I simply…” She swallowed, staring at the small mole as though hypnotised.
Beside her, Kara drew in a long breath. “You’ve seen such a mole before.”
At her sister-in-law’s words, Madeline blinked, and her head jerked up. Staring at Kara, she found the young woman regarding her with a sense of quiet contemplation. Madeline swallowed. “On the man I hoped to marry.”
Kara took a deep breath, then nodded, her gaze returning to Collin.
“Sean is not his father, is he?” Madeline asked, trying to make sense of the chaos in her head.
Kara held her gaze. “He is now.”
Torn about what to do, Madeline could not deny herself to ask, “How did this happen? How do you know Lord Townsend?”
Kara sighed, then looked up and met Madeline’s gaze once more. “I was once a maid in his household, and,” a rueful smile came to her face, “I thought he loved me as much as I loved him. But I was wrong. He only ever saw me as an adventure.” Skimming her thumb back and forth over her son’s hand, Kara scoffed, “The minute I told him I was with child, he sent me from his house.”
Madeline tried to swallow the lump in her throat, remembering the rage that had seized her husband whenever she had mentioned Lord Townsend. Now, it made sense.
“My brother was still on the continent,” Kara continued, “and I didn’t know who to turn to. I knew no one in Town.” She took a deep breath as the memories of that time in her life returned. “As darkness fell, I was still wandering the streets, not knowing what to do or where to go. I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, but eventually I found myself in a less than respectable part of town.” The muscles in her jaw tightened, but she held Madeline’s gaze. “When I walked by a tavern, men approached me. They…they must’ve thought…” She swallowed. “I don’t know what would have happened to me if Lord Elton had not come upon us in that moment. He had been in the tavern as well; however, he still remembered his manners.” Swallowing, Kara licked her lips, the fear she had felt that night visible on her face. “When he offered to escort me home, I broke down sobbing, and before I could stop myself, I told him what had happened.” Closing her eyes, Kara smiled. “I expected him to run from me, to simply leave me in the street…”
“But he didn’t,” Madeline finished, remembering what her husband had told her about his friend. He had called him an honourable man, a man who had offered his assistance without agenda, without asking for anything in return, but simply because he cared, because he wanted to help.
“He took me home,” Kara confirmed, “had me cleaned up and assured me that he would take care of everything. I was not to worry.”
“And that’s how you met Sean?” Madeline asked. “He was his valet, was he not?”
A bright smile came to Kara’s face. “He was. To tell you the truth, I do not remember the first time we met as I was lost in my own misery and worried about my future and that of my child. However, Sean tells me that he loved me from the first moment he saw me.” She laughed, a touch of disbelief in her voice. “Within days, he offered for my hand. After everything that had happened, I was weary of men, but there was something in his eyes that…I trusted him. I don’t know why, but I did. He was so sweet and caring, and yet, respectful and considerate.” Biting her lower lip, Kara sighed. “I knew if I was to protect my child, I could not refuse him.” Her gaze settled on Madeline’s. “Ours started out as a marriage of convenience as well, but over time we grew to love each other. The day Collin was born, everything changed. The way Sean watched over me, the way he held my hand and helped me through it all touched my heart in a way no one else ever had…and I loved him.”
Madeline smiled at her. “You two seem very happy. Seeing you together, I never would have thought yours was not a love match.”
Kara shrugged. “Sometimes attraction or even love is instantaneous, and sometimes it grows over time until we wonder how we could have ever looked at that person and not felt as we do now. For Sean and me, it happened in different ways. For him, it only took a matter of minutes. For me, it came with time.”
Madeline nodded. “I’m very happy for you, for the both of you.” Inhaling deeply, she looked at her sister-in-law, trying to ignore the nagging voice in her head. “Your life took a turn you didn’t expect, a turn you didn’t plan, and yet, everything turned out for the best, did it not?”
Kara nodded. “I do not regret what happened with Lord Townsend. Without him, I wouldn’t have my son,” she brushed a gentle hand over his forehead, “and I would never even have met my husband. No, I do not regret what happened.”
Madeline nodded, wondering if she and her husband would ever reach such a point where they would look back at their turbulent lives and smile about the many obstacles they had to overcome to find happiness. Would they find happiness?
“You said that Lord Townsend was the man you wished to marry,” Kara reminded her, her gaze fixed on Madeline’s. “Was he at the ball that night my brother went after you? Did you expect him to propose to you that night?”
Madeline swallowed, “I did. I was certain he would, and I merely wanted to grant him the perfect opportunity to speak his mind and ask for my hand.” Shaking her head, she closed her eyes. “I had no idea what kind of man he was. I never would have expected him to…”
“Of course, you didn’t. How could you?” A soft smile on her face, Kara looked at her. “He fooled me as well. It is not easy to see behind a person’s mask.”
“Your brother did.”
“Because he knew,” Kara objected. “He did not need to suspect, he knew. I suppose that’s why he came after you that night to protect you from a man who would only make you unhappy. He wanted to protect you.” Kara swallowed. “I heard you arguing once. You thought he wanted you for your dowry?” She shook his head. “Although I cannot fault you for thinking so, I can assure you that my brother would never have forced your hand intentionally…especially not for his own selfish reasons. Please, believe me. Believe him.”
Madeline nodded. “I do believe you, and I only doubted him in the beginning. Thank you for telling me this.”
Relieved, Kara turned her attention back to her son while Madeline sank back into the chair by the foot of the bed, her thoughts a jumbled mess.
Indeed, it was a relief to know that her husband had never simply desired her dowry−and to this day, he had proved himself a man of his word as he had never touched a penny of it. However, hearing his reason for coming after her from Kara’s lips also destroyed a silly, girlish fantasy Madeline had secretly entertained: that he had come after her because he was jealous, because he cared for her, because he had wanted her for himself.
Now, Madeline knew that that had not been the case. He had merely acted upon his own sense of honour and duty, protecting a young lady from a man who would be her downfall as he had been his sister’s.
It was gallant.
Honourable.
And yet, for Madeline, it was utterly devastating.