Chapter Seventeen
Molly
“I’m so happy you’re going!” Megan’s enthusiasm was cute, sometimes. We were getting ready to go to Aqua and watch Brock. He was singing again tonight with his friend’s band and I was really looking forward to it. It was the first time in four or five days that I felt really good. I had drunk a lot of water, took my vitamins and wrote down how much I peed. I had to leave this funky looking little “hat” in the toilet to catch and measure my urine. I made sure to take it out and clean it each time. I didn’t want to gross out Megan. I told Megan that Brock knew now, about me being sick. It was weird, but that made her really happy. I didn’t tell her about him. I didn’t know if Jake knew and I’m pretty sure that my illness was the only thing she had ever not told Jake about. I didn’t want to tempt her.
“What are you wearing?” I asked her.
“I got a new dress yesterday,” she said with a guilty smile. Megan’s dad loves her; he dotes on her as a matter of fact. He had given her a credit card before she left for college and told her it was for emergencies. Megan thought having nothing to wear to the club was an emergency. I found myself wishing that my dad was like Megan’s as I rummaged through my clothes. That was a joke. I had spent the first ten years of my life wishing that he just had a name. After that, I accepted that I would probably never know who he was, and I suspected that my mother didn’t either.
I stood staring at my clothes while I had these thoughts. I really wanted to look nice tonight. Megan tried to get me to wear a black sundress that I had bought over the summer and I accused her of wanting me to die from pneumonia. I tried to wear a black sweater dress and she said it was fine and to call her after the funeral. We both finally settled on a blue knit blouse that was cut almost to my waist in back, but not too low in front and a matching skirt. It wasn’t long, but it wasn’t so short that I had to worry about matching it to the color of my panties either. When we were both finally ready, I was satisfied. Not overwhelmed, or wowed, but satisfied. As we walked out to the car I had the Bruno Mars song Brock had sang to me in the hospital in my head. It gave me chills to know he thought that I was beautiful. He made me feel beautiful too, and that was really all that mattered.
We stopped for Jake on the way. Brock had gotten Suzie out of the shop earlier in the day. He had to be there early to set up but he said he left our names at the door as his guests, so we didn’t have to wait in line. The club had become very popular, and Jake told her it had a lot to do with Brock’s singing and guitar playing. I didn’t doubt it, even if I didn’t know him, after hearing him sing I would go back.
The club was already packed when we got inside. Brock saw us as we made our way through the crowd and waved us over towards the stage. He pointed out two tables that were roped off. “Those are mine and Joe’s, pick one and have a seat,” he said. He looked so good tonight. He was wearing a Grateful Dead T-shirt. It was all black except for the eyes on the face in front. Those were blue, like his. I had to wonder if he had bought the shirt because he knew it matched his eyes. I knew him now though, and even if he did know he was pretty, I knew enough about him to know that he hadn’t let it go to his head.
His dark hair was stylishly mussed and he looked like he hadn’t shaven today. It gave his face an older, rugged look. It was hot. Before I went with Molly and Jake to sit at our table I said, “Good luck.” He winked at me, which really did things to my insides.
“I’m already lucky,” he said, “you showed up.” I walked over to our table on wobbly legs.
The band he was playing with was really good. They did a few sets with Brock playing the guitar and Joe’s wife singing, and then she and Brock did a duet. I tried to look at other things in the club, the people, the décor, Megan and Jake, but my eyes kept being drawn back up to the stage, on Brock. I liked the way he took the microphone off the stand when he sang and pressed his lips down close to it. I began to notice how his voice got deeper and….yes, sexier when he sang a love song. I even noticed how the veins on his muscular arms seemed to come alive and dance as he moved around on stage.
Every so often, he would look at me and smile. There was something so intimate about that to me. It was just a smile, but he and I both knew that it was just for me, and I had to admit that I was coming around to the idea of dating him. Maybe it was being freed of my secret, maybe it was just because he was the hottest guy around, and maybe it was because he proved over and over what an amazing and kind spirit he had. I’m not sure what prompted the change, but I knew all of a sudden if he tried to kiss me again, I was going to let him.
They played about five songs and then Joe said they were going to take a ten minute break. Brock came straight over to our table, and I couldn’t help but notice the looks of envy most of the single girls in the club were throwing my way. He sat down next to me and opened a bottle of water he had in his hand. He downed more than half of it in one drink and then he leaned over and whispered in my ear. All he said was, “Have you been drinking enough water?”
“Yes,” I told him, plenty. I wasn’t lying either. If drinking water was going to stop me from having to go back to the hospital, I’ll hook up the garden hose.
“Why aren’t you dancing?” he asked me. “You look too pretty to just be sitting here.”
I didn’t think about what I was saying, I just said, “Because the only person I want to dance with is on-stage tonight.” I heard it come out of my mouth, and I knew it to be the truth, but I was shocked that I’d actually said it.
He smiled and leaned in close again. He put his lips near my ear once more and said, “Save one for me when we’re finished up, okay? The next band playing is pretty good.”
I smiled and told him that I would. He saw Joe headed back for the stage so he went too. I watched him go, and then I realized that Megan was giggling. I looked at her and she and Jake looked extremely guilty.
“What?” I said.
Megan shrugged. “There’s a lot of whispering going on with you two,” she said.
“He was talking to me. It’s loud in here,” I said. In our defense, it was the truth.
“Jake says he used to sing a lot of hard rock and suddenly he’s all about the love song. Did you notice that Molly?” she asked me with another giggle.
I was saved by the band that struck up once again. Megan and Jake went off to dance and I turned down three guys while they were gone. There was no reason for it, I just didn’t want to dance…with them. I was saving one, and we would see where that went.
The band played three more songs, picking up the tempo a bit with Joe’s wife doing most of the singing. Brock sang with her for one of the songs, but for the rest he just played his guitar. I liked watching his face when he played. It was so intense, like his very life depended on getting every note just right. I watched him as he stepped up to the microphone. I thought he was getting ready to sing his last song, but then he said, “I want to dedicate this song to a very special person here tonight. I think she knows who she is, and if she doesn’t yet, I hope to convince her someday.
Megan reached over and squeezed my arm. When I didn’t look back at her she said, “He was talking about you.”
I laughed and said, “You think so?”
Brock started singing then, and as I listened to the words and music, I realized he was doing “Somebody’s Heartbreak” by Hunter Hayes. It was one of my favorite songs, and now he was singing it to me. While he stood under the spotlights of the stage and crooned out the melody, I felt things inside of me that I didn’t even know existed. He carried the microphone to the edge of the stage and as he looked right at me he sang the lyrics.
Megan and Jake went to dance again but I couldn’t take my eyes off of Brock. I could hardly catch my breath. Then, the unthinkable happened. I was staring across the room, up onto the stage, looking into Brock’s eyes when suddenly someone was standing directly in front of me. I looked up to tell whoever it was to move, or more accurately, to get the hell out of the way. Looking back at me was my ex-boyfriend Zack. I was stunned. I hadn’t seen him since just before I started school here and he had decided that he wasn’t up for the whole sick girlfriend thing. While he stood there, the last person in the world that I hoped to see, the song ended and Brocks beautiful voice stopped singing.
“Hi Molly.”
Hello, coward.
“Hi Zack.”
I didn’t see the need to be confrontational. Play nice for a minute and he’ll go away. After all, I already knew how good he was at walking away.
“How are you? Are you still sick? Do you still have those nasty tumors on your kidney?”
“I’m fine, thanks Zack. How are you?”
He smiled, “I’m good. It’s really nice to see you. You look really pretty.”
“Thanks,” I said.
Now go away.
“Hey Molly, are you okay?” Megan had walked up then.
“I’m fine, Megan. You remember Zack?” Megan gave him a distasteful look, like there was something sour in her mouth.
“Hi Megan!” he said with a big smile and way too much enthusiasm. Even if he wasn’t smart enough to figure out that I wasn’t happy to see him, he had to know without a doubt that she wasn’t.
“Yeah, hey,” she said, dismissively. “Were you riding home with Brock tonight?” she said. Good ‘ole Megan.
“Yeah, I think so,” I said. “I’m just waiting for him to finish up.”
“Okay, Jake and I were going next door to get something to eat. You sure you don’t want to come with us, just until Brock’s ready?” She looked at Zack every time she said Brock’s name. I love this girl.
“No thanks, Meg. He shouldn’t be long.” She hugged me and whispered, “Tell him to take a hike, a long one, off a cliff.” I laughed and said, “Don’t worry, I will.” When Megan left, Zack said, “Can I sit for a minute?” I started to say no, but then he said, “I just want five minutes Molly. I need to apologize to you for being such a big jerk.”
“Okay,” I said. I liked hearing him call himself a big jerk.
He sat down and said, “I loved being with you in high school, Molly. I haven’t been able to find anyone even remotely like you since. I miss you, and I never should have walked away.”
“Thanks Zack,” I said. I appreciated the apology, for what it was worth. I mistakenly thought that was all, however. Then he went on. “My fraternity is having an after-party tonight. Why don’t you go with me?”
“No thanks, Zack. I have plans.”
“Okay, another time then? We could have dinner, catch up?”
“Zack…What exactly is it that you want to catch up on?” I asked him. Things were fine between us until I got really sick, then he was gone. Does he really want to know how I fought it, got better and now have to start the fight all over again?
“It would just be nice to talk and find out how you’re doing, what you’ve been up to….I miss you, Molly,” he said again.
“I’m doing fine. I’m going to school and working….and I still have cancer Zack.”
“Oh,” he said. Here we go. “You look so….healthy,” he said.
“Looks can be deceiving like that. You can run away now, it’s okay. This time, Zack I won’t even bat an eye.”
“Aw, come on Molly. I was a kid.”
It was less than a year ago...but okay, sure…we were kids.
“I was looking at getting out of high school and going on to have a great time in college…with you on my arm, Molly. Then I found out how sick you were and I freaked out. I didn’t know how to handle it….”
“So you walked out on me when I needed you the most.”