Chapter Fourteen
Brock
My head was reeling as I walked back out to my bike. I woke up this morning with the most beautiful girl in the world in my arms, on top of the world. Now suddenly, I find out that she has the same affliction as me…kind of. How did I not know? I guess the answer to that is as simple as how she doesn’t know about me; she didn’t want me to know. Probably, I’m sure for the same reasons that I didn’t want to tell her about my own cancer. It just gets weird for people, and new relationships are the worst.
I drove home in a haze. I wondered if she was telling me the truth, and she was just dehydrated. What if she was dying? For a second, I couldn’t breathe. I can’t think about that. I’m being ridiculous anyways. She’s not eighty-two pounds; she’s not on oxygen or a respirator. She’s like me, a young person who is LIVING with cancer. I’m sure she’ll be fine.
I found Jake on the couch where I left him, only now he had pants on at least and he was watching a movie instead of playing his video game. He looked at me…strangely when I came in.
“What’s up?” I asked him.
“Nothing, why?” he said, in a guilty tone.
“Because you’re acting weird,” I told him.
“That’s just how I act,” he said.
I rolled my eyes. There was something he wanted to tell me. I’ve known this guy since he was seven years old. “Jake, just tell me whatever you’re hiding. Are you gay man? Because I’ll still love you.”
“Shut up!” he said, and then he reached over and punched me in the arm.
“Ouch,” I said, “that hurt.”
“What about the gay comment?” he said.
“I was just guessing things. You want to tell me something, I can tell.”
“Have you talked to Molly today?” I’ll be damned. The little sneak knew.
“No, why?” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.
“Just curious,” he said. “Are you guys hanging out tonight?”
“No, I think I’m going to my support group tonight,” I told him. I went to a support group at the hospital a few times a month. It always helped to hear that other people are going through the same shit you are somehow.
“Oh,” Jake said. He was dying to tell me.
“Where’s Megan today?” I asked.
“She came by earlier,” he said. She had some things to do.”
“Oh, did she mention Molly?” Now let’s see him try to get out of that one.
“Um…I don’t remember,” he said.
“You are a horrible liar,” I finally told him. “You just shouldn’t even do it; you’re so bad at it.”
“What? I’m not lying. I don’t remember.” His face was flushing as red as his hair now.
“I know that Molly’s in the hospital,” I told him. He looked like he let out a big breath he’d been holding and he said, “Oh, that’s good man. I’m sorry. I wasn’t supposed to tell you…I didn’t want Megan to get mad…But I thought you should know. Did Molly call you? Is she okay?”
“I was there, remember? I went to play music for the patients.”
“Oh, yeah.”
The truth was probably that he was so into his game this morning he hardly noticed I left, much less heard me say where I was going.
“I thought you played for the cancer people though. Meg said that Molly was dehydrated….Oh my God! Does Molly have cancer too?”
Shit! He didn’t know…about that, anyways. I should have known. Megan is too good of a friend to tell him something that personal if Molly didn’t want her to.
“She’s dehydrated like Megan said,” I told him. “Sometimes I play in the ER and on the medical floor too.” I didn’t lie, she is dehydrated and I do play for other sections of the hospital…sometimes.
“Oh, good,” he said. We make fun of Jake, but he’s really not stupid. He’s just a guy, and sometimes all that testosterone gets in the way of the neurotransmitters. I think Jake has figured it out, but I’m not going to be the one to tell him about Molly. Her grandmother was right. If Molly wanted someone to know, that was her business.
“Wanna get beat at some Grand Theft Auto before I go?” I asked him. There were three things that could take Jake’s mind off of anything food, Megan and video games.
When I went to my support group that night, I walked by the cancer unit, knowing she was there and I swear my legs took on a mind of their own. I started to push on the double doors that led down the hall to where her room was. I remembered that I was going to let her do this on her terms though. I forced myself to go straight instead. Maybe one day she can go to the group with me. Maybe it was fate that we met…and we could help each other through this.