Chapter Twenty-Eight
Madison
The court case had happened on Wednesday, but it was now already Sunday, and I still hadn’t heard from Max. After seeing him every day for the past few weeks, it was strange to suddenly go to not hearing from him all. The worst was that I still had no idea what had happened. As far as I was concerned, everything was going well between the two of us. Before Blake had walked in, Max and I had practically been inseparable. I’d go as far as saying that we were almost a couple. The only thing that we hadn’t done was give our relationship a label. But other than that, we were almost boyfriend and girlfriend.
At least, that’s what I had thought. Perhaps Max had never thought of me as anything more than someone to keep his mind off of what was happening. The thought made me feel sick. If I had known that he wanted nothing from me, I would never have been with him in the first place. What was wrong with me? Why had I allowed myself to be so duped by him? I’d always thought of myself as strong in both will and character, and yet it hadn’t taken me long to fall into bed with him.
I’d spent the past few days in bed, willing the time to go by and unsure what to do with myself. I’d watched more movies than I had cared for and attempted to read about a dozen books. Each time I’d find myself at the end of the first chapter without knowing what the hell I had just read. The words just seemed to blur in front of me, and nothing seemed to make sense. I just couldn’t concentrate enough to read, and each time I’d throw the book aside and either pick up a trashy magazine or put on another movie. I hadn’t felt so lost in such a long time. When I wasn’t watching movies, I was out running. Running had always helped me to clear my head, but each time I came back from a run, I felt worse than when I had started. Nothing seemed to help. I’d hoped to spend time with my sister, but she had been away on vacation with her boyfriend and had only come home late the previous night. Thankfully, I’d woken up to a message saying that I must come over and spend the day with her. I was so grateful. I could think of nothing better to do with my day. I drove to her house the moment I got the message and practically fell into her arms.
“Madi! I’m so glad you’re out of that safe house. I hated you being there. Come in,” she said and hugged me. “I can’t believe I was away when you came out. You’re never off work, and now the one time you are, I was away. When do you go back to work?” she asked.
I flopped dramatically onto the couch and sighed. “Tomorrow.”
“What? Already? After everything you went through do you really have to go back so soon? I’m sure your boss will let you have some more time off,” she said. “Coffee? Sadly, it’s a bit too soon for wine, although I do have a bottle chilling the fridge for us for later.”
I smiled. I probably would’ve said yes to the wine if she had offered to me right then, so it was probably better that she had offered coffee instead. “Ah, I cannot wait for that. I need wine. But yes, coffee would be great until then. And yeah,” I said as she walked to the kitchen. “My boss would definitely let me take a week off. But I couldn’t think of anything worse than staring at the four walls of my bedroom for another week. I’m desperate to get back into the swing of things. I need my job more than anything right now.”
“You work too hard,” she said.
I waited for her to return before continuing with the conversation as we couldn’t hear each other over the sound of the coffee machine. She returned with blueberry muffins and coffee and handed me a cup.
I took it from her and sighed gratefully as I took a sip. “This is great. Thank you.”
“It’s so good to see you again. You look like you’ve lost weight.”
“I probably have,” I said and sighed. I always lost weight when I was stressed. People used to tell me that I was lucky, but I didn’t think so. There was a very big difference between losing weight the healthy way and losing weight when you were stressed. The gaunt look did not become me. I took a few bites of the muffin. “Did you have a good trip?” I asked. “Things with you and this guy are getting serious.”
She grinned. “Yeah. Things are going so well. I can’t believe you still haven’t met him. It seems so crazy that I can be falling so much for this guy and you haven’t even laid eyes on him in person. It’s just not right. He knows so much about you, though. I talk about you all the time. Please, can we do something next week together?”
“I’d love that, Lyndsey. I mean, I need to make sure that I approve of this guy.”
She chuckled. “You will.”
“Yeah, I think I will too. You’ve always had good taste. And from the look in your eyes, I think this one might be the one.”
She squealed. “I think so too. So, will you bring Max along? It would be fun for us to go on a double date, don’t you think? We haven’t done something like that in years.”
I groaned. That would most definitely not be happening. “Don’t even talk to me about Max,” I said.
“What? Why not? I thought things between the two of you were going well. Isn’t that what you said the last time I spoke to you? And that wasn’t such a long time ago.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought too. I thought things were going great. Clearly, I was very mistaken.”
“Oh no. Did something happen?” she asked.
I sighed. If only I had an answer to the very question I had been asking myself all week. “Well, I’m not sure. Something must’ve happened, but I’m just not sure what it is.”
“Okay, tell me everything. From the start. Don’t leave anything out.”
I took a deep breath and launched into what had happened between Max and me, and how things had begun to develop into something that could almost be called a relationship. I told her how we had started sleeping together in the safe house, and that despite taking things to the next level we still got along great as friends. I told her how good it had felt just to be with him.
“You know, I always thought that the two of you would make a good couple. I’ve never heard you talk of anyone in the way that you talk about Max. I’m still not sure why it took the two of you so long to do this in the first place.”
I shrugged and took another sip of the coffee. I reached for the blueberry muffin and took a bite. I hadn’t eaten much this week, and it was nice to finally have something in me.
“Yeah, I guess I don’t know why either. I didn’t realize I liked him so much. Or maybe I did. Maybe I was just afraid that he didn’t like me. I mean, he had years to tell me how he felt, but he didn’t. But the moment we kissed, I lost all my resolve of staying away from him in that way. It was amazing, Lyndsey. Amazing.”
“You sound like you’re in love.”
“I’m not sure I’d go that far. But it was at least something that could lead to love. You know me, I don’t go around sleeping with just anyone.”
“So, what changed?”
“That’s a very good question. After Blake came in to kill us, Max changed. We went back to the chief’s house and didn’t get a chance to really talk because the chief was always around. Then the next morning Max could barely look at me. I asked him if he wanted to go for dinner after the court case and he told me that he needed to be alone. I was a bit taken aback, but I didn’t push matters. I know what it feels like to want to be alone sometimes. But that was on Wednesday. It’s Sunday now, and I still haven’t heard from him.”
“That’s so strange. And he gave you no indication of why he would suddenly change like that?”
I shook my head. “Nope. None at all. It was like someone pressed a button on him, and everything changed.”
“Have you thought of contacting him?”
“No. I mean, yes, but I’m not going to. I don’t think he wants me to. Also, I don’t see why I should contact him and not the other way around. Not to sound petty or anything, but that’s just the way I feel.”
She nodded. “No, I agree with you there. I’m not sure it’s the right way to think, but I would probably do the same. Do you have any idea why he might be feeling this way?”
It was a question I had asked myself a lot over the past few days, and I really could only come up with one answer.
“I guess he has his memory back and realizes he’s not into me. I guess he’s doing what, so many guys do when they don’t know how to tell someone what they’re really thinking. I guess he’s just run away from his problems. That’s what guys do, isn’t it?”
“Not all guys,” she said, and I knew she was referring to her own boyfriend.
“Yeah, I know. But that’s the impression I get with Max. Like maybe he’s just sick of me. Maybe this whole thing was just a fling to get his mind off his problems, and now that it’s all over, he doesn’t want to be with me again. Which, let me remind you, is going to make things super awkward when we go back to work tomorrow. I’m definitely not going to be the one to bring it up.” I groaned at the idea of it.
“You know, Madi, I know you’re upset with him right now, but have you ever considered that maybe he’s just completely stressed out by everything? It’s been a crazy few months for him, and maybe now that the court case has come to an end, he just feels overwhelmed. I’m not trying to stick up for him, but I have been in that situation before when all you want to do is be alone and clear your head. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to be with me, but maybe everything has caught up to him, and it’s all gotten too much.”
“Doesn’t make ignoring me right though,” I said.
She nodded. “I have to agree with you there. It doesn’t make it right at all. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt. To be honest, I think you should ignore what I said earlier and just call him.”
“Really? Don’t you think he should call me instead?” I felt slightly annoyed that my sister was sticking up for him rather than me.
“I do. And usually, I would say that you shouldn’t call him. But after what he’s been through, maybe this should be the exception to the rule.”
I nodded. “Maybe you’re right. I’ll think about it. Okay, can we talk about something else because I’m sick to death of thinking about all of this? I’ve done nothing but think about it all week. I have one more day before going back to work, and I want all the time I can with you.”
She smiled. “How about we stuff our faces with cake and wine and watch stupid movies and play games, and just go back to life before we became adults.”
I grinned. “Yes! That’s exactly what I want to do.”
For the rest of the day, we did just that. I tried to push all thoughts of Max out of my mind and instead concentrated on spending time with my sister. We had a lot to catch up on, and it was so good to be around her again. She got me laughing again and made me forget about all my worries, at least for the day. I only left her house at the end of the day, after an entire day of doing nothing more than eat, drink and laugh. I stood in her doorway, and she gave me a big hug.
“I’m glad you’re back. And I don’t want you to worry about anything. You’ve been way too stressed lately. It’s not worth it. And don’t worry about Max. He’ll come around. He just needs some time, that’s all. Don’t let it get to you and don’t take it personally. I know it’s easier said than done, but I just can’t have you stress like this. Otherwise, I’m going to spend all my time worrying about you.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Lyndsey. You’re the best. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate having you around. Today was just what I needed.”
“Do you feel better?” she asked.
“I feel so much better.”
“Good. It was great having you here. I love you, Madi.”
“I love you too, little sis,” I said and gave her one more hug goodbye.
I made my way home and thought about what she said about phoning Max. I almost did it too. I picked up the phone and put it down at least five times before finally making my mind up. It was late, and I was going to see him the following day anyway. I didn’t want to make things worse by calling him now. I would figure things out in the morning. Maybe my sister was right about Max anyway. Maybe he just needed some time to sort his head out. The more I thought about it, the surer I was that I had not imagined the feelings that the two of us had shared. It was more than just sex. Everything was going to be just fine. I put my head down that night and knew that I was finally going to have a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow was a brand-new day.