Chapter Fifteen
Max
I woke up that day in a panic not knowing where I was. Thankfully, there had been no nightmare, and I’d actually slept pretty well, but for a few seconds, I had no idea where I was. I sat up and looked around, and breathed a sigh of relief to know that I was in the safe house. Madison’s door was still closed, and I wondered if she was still sleeping. When the door opened, Madison was fully dressed. She smiled at me.
“Morning, Maverick.”
I groaned. “Is that what you’re going to call me now?”
She shrugged. “Maybe. It’s either that or Maximillian. You choose.”
“How about just calling me handsome?” I loved teasing Madison. She got embarrassed so easily. Even now I could see the slight pink of her cheeks, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. She was a beautiful girl, sexy. But when she blushed, she looked sweet and pretty. How had I worked with her for so long without doing anything with her? It was still something that I couldn’t quite figure out. I wasn’t sure if I was disappointed or impressed by my control
“How about we just have some breakfast?” she said.
“Are you saying I’m not handsome?”
“You’re okay,” she said and chuckled.
“I’ll make the breakfast,” I said and got up. I forgot I was just wearing my boxers and only knew from the look on Madison’s face. She was now a much brighter shade of red. I laughed and looked around for my jeans and pulled them on. Clearly, she had never seen me in my boxes before, which put aside all ideas that we had actually been together before. A part of me thought that maybe we had tried to be together but that it hadn’t worked, but I could definitely tell that this was the first time she was seeing me that way. “So, did you sleep well?”
“Yeah, I did. Better than I thought I would. I don’t usually sleep well when I’m not at home. But I slept well at the chief’s yesterday and well again today. I’m starting to get used to this. I feel so much better when I’ve had a good night’s rest. How about you?”
“The couch isn’t the most comfortable place in the world, but I’ll manage.”
“Ah, sorry to hear that. I feel bad now. And here I am telling you how well I slept. We should switch it up. I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”
I shook my head. “Nah, I’m just messing with you. The couch is fine.” It wasn’t really, but she didn’t have to know that. “So, what do you feel like for breakfast? Eggs? I think we should eat the bread while it’s still okay. I know he left us a lot of food, but we might as well go through all the fresh stuff first.”
“Yeah, I’m good with anything. If there’s one thing I’m not, it’s a fussy eater. I’ll make coffee. Thanks, Max.”
“I wonder if this is what it’s like to be married?” I said as I made the breakfast.
She laughed. “Are you telling me you’ve never had a woman spend the night before? I thought you’d be used to this. Cooking breakfast for your one-night stand. This should just feel like just another morning for you.”
She was teasing, but it struck a chord with me. Was I the sort of guy that slept around? I didn’t feel like I was. But then again, I didn’t know much about myself at all lately. Maybe that’s why she didn’t want to be with me. Perhaps I was this awful guy that didn’t spend longer than a night with a woman. I groaned inwardly at the thought. I didn’t want to be that guy. It almost felt unfair that I couldn’t remember who I was.
“Uh, to be honest, Madi, I don’t remember.”
She looked like she was going to make another joke until she saw that I was being serious.
“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I was just kidding with you.”
“Is that the kind of guy I am? Is that what you think of me?” I asked. And is that why you don’t want to be with me? I asked in my head. I didn’t have the guts to say it out loud yet.
She laughed. “Wow, you really don’t remember? No, you’re not that kind of guy. I wouldn’t be such good friends with you if you were,” she said. “And I wouldn’t have made a joke like that with you if I was serious. You’re definitely not that type of person. In fact, you and I have one thing in common—we’re practically married to our jobs.”
We took everything over to the small living room area and sat down to eat.
“I remember so much, but then some parts of my life are completely fuzzy. It’s odd. I think I need to start reading up on some psychology books. I’m assuming some part of my brain is injured. Or maybe I shouldn’t. I might get completely freaked out if I read them. So, we’re good friends, huh?”
She chuckled. “Ah, you know that, though. I mean, surely you can tell? We get along great.”
“Actually, I can tell. So, are we the type of friends that go out together? Do we go out to bars, that kind of thing?”
“Hmm, to be honest, not really. We actually spent most of our time working together. I can’t remember the last time the two of us actually went out somewhere.”
“That sounds boring.”
“To most, yeah. But not to us. We’ve always loved our job, and we always worked better together. I used to hate it when the chief would put me on a team with someone else. But I think eventually he realized that the two of us were better together than apart, so for the past few years, you and I have been a strong team. Although, I’m not sure how I put up with you half the time.”
I laughed. “Oh, whatever. I bet you I’m wonderful to work with.”
“You’re okay.”
“Tell me about the first job we did together.” It annoyed me that I hardly knew anything about our time working together. It was strange that I recognized her immediately as my partner but that I couldn’t recall us actually going out to work. Only bits of memory lingered to prove it, and I was desperate to fill in the blanks. I was also amazed that I had managed to work with someone like her without ever asking her out. Had I asked her out, and she had refused? I wanted to ask her.
Madison took a few bites of her food and then sat back with her coffee cradled in her hands while she gave the question some thought. She chuckled slightly at the memory, and I was reminded of how beautiful she was and wished I could tell her then. But if I did she’d get embarrassed and properly stop talking to me, so I decided not to. I had a feeling I had to tread carefully with Madison. She looked like a very strong person, but I got the impression that she was actually fragile on the inside.
“The first job we did together was trailing this guy that everyone knew was selling drugs. Hurtful Henry.”
I burst out laughing. “Seriously? That was his name? That’s awful. It rings a bell, actually. Hurtful Henry.” I found that saying the words out loud sometimes jogged my memory more than when I just thought them. I was right because the moment I said the name, a vision of a man with dark brown hair and terrible teeth came floating to the forefront.
“Tell me about it. I’m sorry, but anyone with a name like that is just asking for us to bust his ass. Anyway, we were happy to get put on the case, just because we both wanted so badly to see the guy behind bars. He wasn’t just selling drugs, but he was involved in some other really bad stuff around town. The chief said that you would be working on the case and you were excited. Then he said that he was putting me on the case with you and I saw your face drop. I walked right up to you and told you that if you didn’t accept me as one of the guys, I would make sure that the chief made me your partner for life. You laughed and said you had no problem with me being a girl, but that I was new to the division and you weren’t sure why I had been put on such a big job.”
“Oh wow. That couldn’t have started us off on the right foot.” I wanted to kick myself. It was strange feeling accountable for something that I didn’t actually remember doing or saying.
“Not at all. And I was determined to prove to you that I was just as good as any of the other guys on the team. I swear I don’t think I’ve ever worked that hard on anything before.”
“And did we get the guy?” I asked. It was as if I was listening to her tell the story about someone else. It was an eerie feeling. If I were a writer, it would be a great basis for a novel.
“Oh yeah. We got him. Everyone was so impressed because we did it so much quicker than they anticipated. After that, you told me that you wouldn’t mind me becoming your partner. And I looked at you and said I’d prefer not to.”
“Ouch.” I could easily picture her doing that. Madison was a straight talker and not someone that I could image beating around the bush. I liked that about her. “I probably didn’t like that very much.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t being serious, of course. But the two of us just had that sort of relationship from the start. We were both always trying to prove something to each other. At the start, we really were trying to prove ourselves to one another, but eventually, it just became a joke more than anything else. We got along great, we were the best partners, but we were constantly biting at each other. But I always knew where I stood with you, and vice versa. I started to realize that you were one of the only guys on the team that I could really trust.”
“What do you mean?”
“As much as I hate to admit it, the guys still treat me differently. It’s really only you and the chief who treat me like everyone else. The others still think of me as just a girl rather than someone who works her ass off.”
I groaned. “Are you serious? Do they have any idea what year we are living in? That’s ridiculous. Surely the only thing that matters is how you do your job?”
“Yeah, I know. That’s exactly what I’ve always thought, but not everyone shares the same sentiment as me. None of them would actually say it to my face, but I’ve overheard some conversations, and I’ve heard the way they talk to me. I guess that’s why I was always so close to you, because you never treated me that way. You always had a lot of respect for me.”
I smiled. That was good to know. “My memories are quite vague at the moment, but I do get the impression that I always thought you were a bit of a bad ass.”
She grinned. “Why thank you. I may not be great in the kitchen, but I sure know how to catch the bad guys.”
“Well, I don’t know. According to last night’s meal, I think you can add ‘can cook’ to your resume.”
“Can’t say I ever thought someone would say that about me. I’m worried that I won’t ever be able to recreate that dish again. Like it was beginner’s luck or something.”
“Only one way to find out of course. You’ll simply have to cook for me every night.”
“Fat chance! Good try, though.”
I smiled. “So, a year undercover together and we land up in a bunker hiding from the rest of the world. Why do you think they found us? I mean, we must’ve been so careful. Chief reckons there was a rat in our team, but that seems crazy to me. Do you know anything more? This whole thing is like putting a puzzle together for me. I’m trying to access the memories, but I’m having to rely on mostly what you guys just tell me. It just seems strange that after a year something would happen. Did something happen? Do you know anything about it?”
“Uh . . . no, not really,” she said, but I noticed she couldn’t look me in the eye. Madison always looked people in the eye. If she didn’t, then there was clearly something wrong. “I mean . . . it’s nothing. . .”
“Madi, what is it? Something happened, didn’t it? Please tell me. There’s nothing I hate more than not being able to rely on my memory. I need to know. And to be honest, I think I deserve to know. I mean, I was there. I was shot. I’m the one sitting in a safe house with no idea what’s going on.”
She sighed. “I guess you’ll find out eventually. But I want you to know that I don’t blame you for anything and that it’s not your fault.”
I groaned. “Oh god, what did I do?” I had suspected for a while now that I had done something to make this happen. I couldn’t explain why I thought that, but I definitely got the impression that there was something Madison and the chief weren’t telling me. I assumed it was because they didn’t want to upset the man that had just come out of a coma.
Madison went on to explain how I had told the whole team about the secret bust earlier than I should’ve, and how she had warned me against doing it. A quick flash of her and I fighting about it in the conference room came and went. It was so fast I wasn’t able to access it fully.
“Seriously? And I didn’t listen to you?” I said. Why hadn’t I listened to Madison? As she explained it to me, I realized what a stupid thing it was to have done. Why did I realize that now but not then? Had I always been so stubborn?
“Nah. But you did always like to do your own thing,” she said, as if mirroring my own thoughts.
“Still, I should’ve listened. I could’ve avoided this whole thing. We could’ve gotten the guy and walked away safely. We wouldn’t be here right now hiding away for safety. I’m the one that did this to us.” I felt angry at myself. “I hate that I can’t remember all of this.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. Seriously. As I said, we don’t even know for sure what happened. And it might’ve happened regardless. It’s impossible to say right now. You did what you thought was right and sometimes that’s the only way to do things in life.”
“You’re too kind. I know you must’ve been so annoyed with me.”
She laughed. “I was. I wouldn’t talk to you for days. But I came around eventually. Anyway, I usually find you annoying,” she said and chuckled.
“So cruel. So very cruel,” I said in mock hurt.
“We’re both very stubborn, and neither one of us likes to admit when we’re wrong.”
“Well, I admit it now. I guess it’s easy to admit to something when it feels like it wasn’t you who did it in the first place. It’s like I’m looking at my life from another perspective. And I’ve got to say, Madi, it looks like I was in the wrong.”
She chuckled. “Wow, I never thought I’d hear you apologize. You really don’t have to, though. As I say, there is no way of knowing what would’ve happened. This might have happened regardless. Pointless thinking about it anymore. Now, I’m going to go and take a shower and get ready for a day of absolute relaxation. I’m going to prove to everyone that I can relax.”
“Sounds wonderful,” I replied.
While Madison showered I cleaned the kitchen and thought about the things she had told me. I was starting to get more of an idea of my life, and things were ever so slowly starting to get pieced together. There were still big holes in my memory that the doctor said I might never get back. I hoped he was wrong. Without those memories, I sometimes felt like a part of my identity was missing. In the meantime, I would have to continue to ask Madison questions and hope that she was being honest with me.
I turned around just as Madison came out the shower. She was just wearing a towel, and I gulped at the sight of her. The towel was small and didn’t cover all that much. She screamed when she saw me and was just about to bolt when I stopped her.
“Madi, wait. I want to ask you something.”
“Uh, okay,” she said while she clutched at her towel for dear life.
“Why has there never been anything between us? I mean, is it because you don’t like me?”
She looked uncomfortable by the question. “No, it’s not that. It’s . . . .”
“Do you like me?”
“I . . . look, the thing is, Max, we’re work partners. It’s in our best interest that nothing happens between us. We’ve always been extremely professional about it all. That’s just how it has always been.”
“Are you attracted to me?”
“That question is not fair,” she said.
“It’s a simple question,” I said and slowly started to walk towards her. I noticed that she didn’t run away.
“I . . . .”
I smiled at her. “We’re not at work right now. You can be honest with me. Are you attracted to me?”
“I mean . . . yes, but that doesn’t mean . . .”
I put a finger to her lips and leaned in to kiss her.