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Don't Tell by Violet Paige (116)

29

I sat forward. The panic ripped through me. It was morning. The bed was empty. And I was naked.

I ran my hands over my sore body. Traces of him were everywhere. He had touched me. Kissed me. Fucked me into oblivion. I closed my eyes. And he was gone. I patted the vacant pillow next to me. There was still an indentation from where he had slept.

I blinked when I heard a toilet flush.

The bathroom door opened. He stood in the doorway. “Did I wake you?” he asked.

I let out a breath I was holding.

“You’re still here.”

He crossed the room. He looked at me quizzically. “You thought I was gone?”

I nodded.

“Em, my pants are right there.” He pointed to the pile of clothes we had assembled last night.

“Right.” I tried to look relaxed. He had been missing a fraction of a second and I had already gone to the darkest of places.

He sat in front of me. “I think it’s time to have that conversation we didn’t have last night.”

I stared at his long lashes. They undid all my good intentions. I got lost in his eyes. In his voice.

I nodded. “I think so.” I couldn’t pretend he wasn’t a fugitive. I couldn’t act as if everything were normal. There was no normal in our relationship.

The first time I was naïve. He seduced me. Last night I made a conscious choice. I wasn’t his victim or target. I couldn’t blame him for my decision. I had crossed a line I didn’t know I was capable of crossing. I chose one night with Vaughn over everything I had ever valued and knew to be right. I waited for regret to hit me. For guilt to consume me.

“Ask me anything you want. Ask it now. Everything.” He pressed my fingers to his lips, sucking and kissing the tips. “And even if I have to break my non-disclosure clause, I will tell you. We won’t leave this bed with secrets.”

“Did Greer come home last night?” I looked over his shoulder.

“Why?”

“Because I want coffee. And I’m hiding a fugitive in my bedroom.” Putting those two things together was absurd. “I don’t want to be interrupted. These are the most important questions of my life.”

He climbed from the bed. “I think you better check.”

He moved the chair from under the door handle. I pulled a robe over my shoulders and tip-toed into the living room. The door was locked. The lights were off. Her bedroom door was open. It didn’t look as if she had slept here.

I walked back to Vaughn. “No sign of her. I better send her a text to check.”

“I don’t want to drag her into this. You know that?”

I nodded, clutching my phone. “Let’s just see how much time we have.”

Last night time didn’t matter. I was willing to steal whatever remnants I could pluck together. This morning, that felt reckless and irresponsible. Safety mattered now. Thinking through everything was an instant priority. I had abandoned all rationality once his lips touched mine. What if Agent Kenneth called or stopped by before my trip to New Bern? What if he thought there was some kind of break in the case? What if somehow he knew Vaughn was here?

“You ok?” he looked at me.

“Yes.” I nodded. I had to settle one issue at a time. I pulled out my phone to text Greer.

Good date?

I sent the message. She would kill me if she knew I had reunited with my ex in the same way she and Preston must have last night.

The best.

“What did she say?” Vaughn tried to look at the screen.

“She stayed at Preston’s last night.”

Are you coming home soon?

Are you ok? I can if you need me.

I chewed on my lip. She had no idea how much I needed her to stay away.

No. I’m working on exams. Tell Pres I said hi.

See you maybe tomorrow.

I knew that bought us enough time to at least have a cup of coffee and go through this infamous list of questions Vaughn kept asking for.

I turned toward him.

“We’re set. We have some time. But I can’t promise she won’t be back tonight.”

“I understand.” He walked into the kitchen and reached for the coffee pot and filled it with water. “It’s not a problem.”

I didn’t know what that meant.

“What are you doing?” I asked, watching him comfortably move through the kitchen.

“Making you coffee. I think that was one of your stipulations.” He winked at me as he scooped the grounds into the filter.

None of this made sense. His cavalier attitude. His unstoppable sex appeal. My undying love for a man who had broken me in too many places to count.

I leaned against the bar. “I want to start asking questions now.”

“Go for it.” He pushed the red button on the machine.

I needed a damn notebook for this. I thought about the collection of notes Agent Kenneth had. Each time we met we covered a different topic. We had been talking for weeks. I was somehow supposed to put all of that into one conversation. And would it be enough? I didn’t know if Vaughn could answer all the questions I had. I expected them to be like an elixir full of healing serum.

“How do you know I’m not going to tell the bureau everything you tell me now?” It seemed to be the most critical aspect to his safety.

“Because I trust you.” He looked at me with a steady gaze.

I owed him the truth too. “I’ve already talked to them.” I didn’t expect to feel ashamed. I had betrayed our intimate conversations.

“It’s ok. I know. I know Agent Kenneth meets with you every day after work.”

My eyes widened. “How do you know that?”

“I haven’t been that far away.” He smiled sadly.

“You’ve been watching me?”

He nodded. “I wanted to know if you were ok. I wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt, physically,” he added. “I wanted to be next to you. To help you, but it was too risky. Just know I left because I had to. Not because I wanted to.”

“How long? How long have you been shadowing me?”

“You make it sound like I was a damn stalker. I was watching out for you.”

I glared at him. “Answer it.”

“I knew about the New Bern trip. About your brother. And when you came back and they took you into custody. I’ve been around ever since. I turned down two jobs so I could stick around.”

The coffee pot chugged with steam. Vaughn pulled two cups from the cabinet and placed a mug in front of me. He searched the fridge for creamer and set it on the side. I kept my smile hidden. He knew exactly how I liked my coffee.

I stirred it into my coffee. He had been here. When I was hurting the most—he was here.

“Maybe we should start at the beginning instead of going backward,” I decided.

“Whatever you want to do.” He walked around the bar and sat on the barstool next to me. He looked incredibly sexy with the slight stubble on his chin.

“How did you get into this line of work?” I held the hot mug in my hands.

“Good question.” He paused to drink his coffee. “I mentioned I had a previous job. A dangerous one. I was an operative in a Special Forces unit for five years. I made a lot of contacts during my time in the military. When I resigned I was approached by one of those contacts to join a company. Let’s call it Blackwing.”

“And Blackwing, your company, this is what they do? Steal information?”

“I like to think of it as getting the information into the hands of people who can do something important with it. But I don’t get into the politics of it. That’s not what I’m paid for.”

“But you are paid?” I pressed. “I heard millions.”

Vaughn’s hand squeezed the inside of my thigh. I gasped. “You heard right.”

“If you already have millions of dollars, why keep doing it? Do you really need that much money?”

“You can never have too much money.”

“You like having all that money?”

He grinned wickedly. “I don’t think you realize what life is like as a millionaire. There’s nothing I can’t do. Nothing I can’t buy. Nowhere I can’t travel. I have complete control and freedom.”

I had to move on. I couldn’t get bogged down on one question. We could launch into ethical debates on everything I asked.

“Do you care what the information is? Do you choose your subjects?”

He shook his head. “No. I get a drop with the assignment. I do the research. I hand off the file. And they deposit money in my account. It’s pretty simple.”

“And this role you play. The women. Dating them until you get the target—do you enjoy it?” The words felt sticky coming off my tongue. It was one of the hardest parts of the story for me to digest.

“Sometimes.” His look pierced me.

“Did you love them?” My voice faltered. “Do you still love any of them?”

“Em, I’ve never fallen for any of them. It’s why I’m so good at what I do. It’s never happened.” He grinned. “Not until now. And damn it, if it hasn’t made everything in my life a fucking mess.” He laughed.

“You want me to take you for your word on that? I saw files of beautiful wealthy women you slept with and…”

“And nothing.” He gripped my wrists. “They were nothing. They were marks.”

“I don’t believe you.”

He pulled me off he stool, pinning my arms together. “I could have left whenever I wanted, but I didn’t. I could have convinced you to get Greer here much sooner. Weeks earlier. But I didn’t. I didn’t want the job to be over.” He kissed the side of my neck. “I never should have taken you to the winery.” He moved his lips to my throat. “I never should have helped you find that client.” He pushed the robe from my shoulder, so my breast was bare in front of him. “I never should have told you I loved you.” His eyes lit. “Once I was in, I was in too deep. So deep I forgot it was a job. That you were a target. That you weren’t the fucking reason I needed to live.”

I struggled to find a breath.

“You were some angel that saved me, Em. That gave me something I didn’t ask for. That held me and tied me to you when I needed to break free and run. But I couldn’t run from you. It was the only thing I couldn’t do.”

He let go of my wrists and tugged the robe to the floor. I stood naked in front of him. He lifted me in the air until I was resting on the counter. He pushed me against the cool surface, spreading my legs.

His tongue made a single stroke between my folds. A stroke of pure molten heat. I jerked, but he held my hips steady as he lapped over my clit. My orgasm climbed to the surface quickly. He twisted his tongue back and forth until it darted in and out of my entrance. I clenched and quivered. And then I felt the pad of his thumb against my backside. I tensed immediately.

“Trust me,” he whispered between my legs.

“Oh, Vaughn.”

I let go. I released my body to him. I gave in. His tongue plunged deep inside me as he worked his thumb with steady pumps until I felt so full, so whole.

The sparks flew in my core, zinging in erratic patterns. Until I was panting through my release.

“Come, baby,” he growled. He nipped at my clit and I screamed with the intensity of it all.

I burst into flames on the kitchen counter. My body wracked with sensation. His thumb seared into me, breaching a secret lair of sensation I didn’t know I enjoyed. Erotic fireworks shot through me the more he breached the forbidden zone.

He sucked eagerly as I spilled into him. My orgasm unleashed. My body glistening with sweat.

I sighed.

Vaughn kissed the inside of my thigh and helped me sit forward.

He looked up at me.

“Do you believe me now?”

I nodded. I put my hands around his neck as he picked me up from the counter. “Take me to bed.”

“Are we done with all the questions? Do you have everything you need to know?” His voice was low and breathy.

“I have more questions. Too many questions. But I need you to fuck me before I can think again.” I drew his lips to mine.

He stopped in the doorway.

“Three hours, Em. You have three hours to decide.”

I released his firm bottom lip from my teeth.

“Why three hours?” I searched his eyes.

“Because that’s when we have to fly to the Bahamas to make our connecting flight.”

“Three hours? But why?”

He nodded. “I’ll spend it how you want. I’ll answer a hundred more questions. I’ll fuck you until you beg me to stop. I’ll hold you while you sleep. Make you breakfast. Whatever you want. But know this... I don’t plan on leaving here without you.”

I swallowed. If he was going to leave and never come back, I had to have this. I had to have him. I needed to memorize what it felt like when our bodies moved together. What it was like when he was inside me. I didn’t know the last time I should have traced every line of his body. That I should have studied all the shades of brown his eyes could make. That when he left all I would have would be these memories.

“Please fuck me,” I whispered. I was going to live in this moment as long as I could.

“Always.”

He carried me to the bed and dropped me in the center. He crawled toward me like a hungry tiger. He shed his boxer briefs in the next stride.

“One taste of you isn’t enough.” He moved closer.

My heart rushed with electricity.

“I want more. So much more of you.”

He kissed my knee and pushed it to the sheet.

“You’re my siren. My drug.” He looked up at me through those long lashes. “My addiction.”

I ran my hands through his hair.

I hadn’t been able to drink him away. I hadn’t been able to erase him. Or forget him. My anger had turned to grief. I had felt rage and pity. Humiliation and disbelief. The last weeks of my life were a maze of alcohol and loneliness. I had held on to the belief that I wasn’t the con. The magic I felt was real. It was tangible and powerful. It wasn’t an illusion or a scam. Everything between Vaughn and me was the kind of fire people dreamed about. Wrote about. We had it. It was here in this bed.

And that’s when I realized I couldn’t let him leave. Ever.

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