My hands shook. My stomach flipped and tossed with nerves. I didn’t know how I was going to get through this. The doorbell rang and I jumped from the couch.

I rushed through the hallway, almost skating on the hardwoods to open the front door.

“Hey, girl.” Helena wrapped me in a hug. “Cute hair.”

“Thanks.” It was up in my standard ponytail.

I closed the door and set the alarm behind her. “Thank you for coming over. I didn’t think I could do this alone.”

“Sure thing. You know I’m a huge fan. It’s going to be fun.”

She followed me into my den. Her eyes widened when she saw the spread I had made.

“We’re going to eat all of this?”

“Ok, so I don’t know what people eat when they watch football. Did I overdo it?”

She plopped down on the couch. “Slightly overboard, but I don’t care. It looks amazing.” She scooped up some cheese dip on the end of a piece of toasted pita.

I sat next to her. My nerves were completely shot. “I don’t know if I can even watch.”

Helena picked up the remote and turned up the volume. “He’s going to be fine. He’s a big strong guy. Stop worrying. He does this all the time.”

I looked at the screen. Luke was throwing the ball on the sideline. My insides began to melt. He looked irresistible. I felt a sudden heaviness. I missed him terribly. More than I should.

“All I know is that guys play football and get concussions and have career-ending injuries. What if that happens to him? What if they have to haul him off on a stretcher?”

Helena rolled her eyes. “That’s not going to happen. Have you seen the guys paid to surround him? The Warriors’ offensive line is intense.”

I picked at the veggie tray. I was craving cucumbers. “I’m glad you came over. I promised him I’d watch, but I didn’t realize it was going to freak me out. And you know so much more about football than I do.”

She giggled. “The advantage of having three brothers I guess. Besides, I think this whole thing with Luke is cute, and I love being in on the secret love affair,” she teased.

“That makes it sound so sordid.”

“Well is it?” She curled her knees under her and leaned into the oversized cushions. I’d had this room decorated a year ago and I was already thinking of how I could redo it. It was one of twenty in the house.

I turned an instant red color. I probably matched the peppers I had sliced.

“Maybe a little.”

She sighed. “I knew it. He’s way too hot not to be amazing in bed.”

“Ok, I’m really not going into those details.”

But God did I want to. I wanted to tell someone how incredible Luke was. How he made me feel things I didn’t know were possible. How my body moved a certain way for him. That I’d experienced eroticism that was addictive and potent. That if I didn’t see him soon my body was going to erupt in an explosive fire that he had started. It had been burning for him ever since our last kiss.

I pulled a pillow to my chest. “I don’t think I can watch.”

“The Warriors are the favorites to win. Stop worrying. He is going to kick ass today.”

I somehow managed to let the pillow drop low enough so I could see over the edge. Luke was on the field. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He looked powerful. In command. Strong and confident. I held my breath until he took the snap.

And then it was as if all my worries faded as I let the air from my lungs. He was faster than the defense. He was smarter than the other team. He knew how to outstep them. In a split second the ball was out of his hands and soaring down field. It landed in the arms of one of the Warrior receivers.

Helena gleamed at me. “See? He’s fine.”

I nodded with a smile. “He is.”

My shoulders relaxed. The jitters eased. My fears weren’t Luke’s. He didn’t look terrified. Nothing around him fazed him. He ruled that field.

“Are we having wine at this party or what?”

“Oh sorry.” There was a time out on the field for a referee review. “What would you like?”

“Whatever you’re drinking.”

I stopped. Was I drinking? It was absurd not to. I’d already decided the chance of me being pregnant was only my runaway tendency to worry taking over. But there was that thought in the back of my head. What if I was? What if I was carrying Luke’s baby and getting ready to douse it in wine?

“I’ll find something,” I offered.

I had filled Helena in on what happened with Luke—everything except the broken condom. It was the one piece of the story I had deliberately left out.

I looked through my liquor cabinet to see what I could concoct. I pulled out the cranberry juice, vodka, and spritzer. In one glass I added vodka. In the other I doused an extra splash of the spritzer. There. She’d never know I wasn’t drinking.

I returned just as the game came back from commercial.

“Here you go.” I handed her the tall Cosmo.

“Oh, yummy.” She took a sip. “Delish.”

“Good.” I wiggled back onto my spot on the couch.

The Warriors won the dispute and Luke had the ball again. His eyes were narrowed in concentration.

I’d never felt such a rush before watching football. I think it made me miss him more.

There was a deep pang in my chest and an ache in my core. I curled into a ball. I was glad Helena was here, but I wanted Luke. I wished I could be there with him after the game.

“So, we haven’t even talked about tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?” I was trying to focus on the next play.

“The Country Year Awards are going to be announced and you aren’t even batting an eyelash about them.”

Someone crossed over the line and grabbed a fistful of Luke’s jersey. I jerked to the edge of the couch. He had thrown the ball before the defender got to him. He was fine. Yelling enough curse words to fill a sailor’s bible, but fine.

I turned to her. “I’m not hung up on that stuff. You know that.”

“Yeah, but Jake is.”

“Can we not talk about him?”

I didn’t want my good mood to sour.

“Sorry.”

“It’s ok. He and I aren’t on the best of terms right now and it’s going to be a long time before he forgives me for spending an extra day in Austin. All he can talk about is how my image has taken a hit from being seen with Luke. I’m tired of hearing about it.”

“And you can’t tell him that?” Helena always wanted me to stand up to Jake, but she didn’t know the full story.

“No.” I lowered my eyes and voice together. “It’s complicated with Jake.”

“Oh look, they’re going for it.” Helena’s eyes darted to the TV.

We both jumped from the couch when we saw Luke rear back and throw the ball to the other end of the field. That had to be at least forty yards, but I wasn’t paying attention. All I saw was his form. His body. His touchdown.

Helena reached in the air for a high-five. I giggled.

My crush was bad. So so bad.