I paced in front of the pool. Jake always liked sitting out here. I even had lunch catered. I needed every brownie point I could get before we had this conversation.

I arranged the linen napkins again. It had to be perfect. From the sunflowers to the croissants. I couldn’t settle for a wilted petal or a crumb on the tablecloth.

Early November was gorgeous in Tennessee. The leaves rustled around me. From the corner of my eye I caught a few deep orange ones floating to the ground.

I pulled the ankle-length wrap to my chest for comfort. I don’t know what I thought I would find. He was going to be furious. There was nothing here to save me. Nowhere to hide once I told him the truth.

“There you are.” Jake strolled onto the patio.

“Hi.” I leaned in when he kissed my cheek.

“Look at this spread.” He plucked a grape from the fruit tray and popped it in his mouth. I thought maybe it was the pool, but his eyes looked bluer than usual today.

“Let’s sit and eat,” I suggested.

Jake pulled the chair out for me and I scooted into the cushioned seat.

“Gorgeous day.” He mused at the scenery.

“It is.” I pulled a bottle of chilled cider from the bucket. Jake never drank during the day. He said it gave him too much of a buzz.

I offered him a glass before filling my own.

“Remember when I first found this house?” I asked.

He smiled. “I think I found it for you.”

“Ok, remember when you found this house?”

He nodded. “Two years ago?”

“Yes. It was.”

I was headed somewhere. I just didn’t know if I could take Jake with me. I didn’t know if he was capable anymore of being the friend I used to have. But ever since the CYA nominations, it was as if a part of that man had re-emerged. The part that had drawn me to him.

He laughed. “I think we ordered pizza and ate in one of your dining rooms on the floor.”

“And the power went out on us because I forgot to call the power company.”

He chuckled. “Who buys a million-dollar house and forgets to turn the power on?” His eyes sparkled.

“I guess that would be me.” I giggled.

We had bought sleeping bags and crashed in a guestroom together. The furniture delivery was still a week off from when I closed on the house, but Jake and I were so excited about it we didn’t wait for furniture. We didn’t care there wasn’t a dining room set or any beds.

“So much has happened since then.” I turned to look at him.

“Yep. I’m having lunch with country’s reigning country music queen.”

“Oh, you’ve elevated me from princess to queen? I had no idea.”

“After where you started, I’ll give you the title.”

And that’s when my stomach clutched. The sick twisted game Jake played was between us.

“We’ve been so busy I feel like I have no idea what’s going on in your life. Tell me what’s going on,” I pried. I had to stay on track with my idea. My life with Luke depended on this.

“The usual. I’ve been running my ass off booking you for the awards. We’re so close.”

“I don’t mean work.” I smiled shyly. “You. Tell me what you’re doing. Are you seeing anyone?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “What are you getting at, Lex?”

“Nothing.” I shrugged. “We used to be close. We used to tell each other everything. I miss that.”

“You do?”

“I think we would work better together again if we were friends, Jake. I don’t like the animosity. It’s wearing me down. It’s got to be getting to you too.”

He picked at the chicken salad. “Where is this going? I know you don’t care about my personal life.”

“Do you care about mine? Not because of work, but because you used to be my friend?”

He rubbed his smooth jaw. “I’m always going to care.”

It wasn’t the warm and fuzzies I was going for, but it was all I had. Jake would only let me push him so far.

“I need to tell you something as a friend. Not as my manager, but as my friend, Jake. The guy who knew me back when. The man who thought he could make me a star. The one who rented a car with me and drove me from gig to gig because I didn’t have any money to buy anything on my own. That’s the guy I want to talk to right now.”

“What is this?”

I put my hand over his. “I’m with Luke Canton. I’ve invited him to walk the red carpet at the CYAs with me and he said yes.”

I waited for the detonation to take its effect.

The icy glaze covered his eyes and he huffed. “Why, babe? Why would you do this?”

“Because I’m in love with him, Jake. I deserve to be happy and Luke makes me happy. I want you to be ok with this. I want you to see what I see. I want you to be happy for me.”

He laughed so loudly a nearby bird ruffled his wings and flew over the pool. “Happy for you? You are talking career suicide and you want me to be happy?”

I shook my head. “The CYAs are only two days away. I promise you it’s going to be great. Luke is going to look amazing and the press is going to love him. He’ll do as much or as little as you want.” I leaned toward him. “Give him a chance, Jake. I swear you’re going to see a different side of him and the fans are going to love this.”

He pushed back from the table. “I warned you, Lex. I told you if you continued down this path I would reveal the truth.”

I looked at him with utter disbelief. “You won’t do that. It would destroy your career too. Stop bluffing and let’s talk through this like professionals. Luke Canton is my boyfriend and as my manager you have to work him into my career.”

I stood facing him with a new confidence. I felt as if I were suddenly channeling some part of Luke. This is exactly what he would want me to say. I had to stand up for myself. For him. For us.

“Prepare yourself. I am going to unleash all the secrets you have, babe,” he hissed at me.

“You wouldn’t. Stop with the idle threats.”

He pointed his finger at me. “It’s not idle. I have several top reporters on speed dial. There’s plenty of time between your big country house to my penthouse in the city to make those calls.”

“Then I’ll tell them about you,” I threatened. I was flush with anger. Raging mad. Desperate to stop him.

He spun on his expensive shoes. “You have no proof.”

“I need proof to tell everyone you’re gay?” I huffed.

“Yeah, you do. And it’s just going to be the ramblings of a ruined girl, trying to save her ass versus a well-established manager. No one is going to believe you, Lex.”

“It will ruin you. You can’t be gay in Nashville,” I sputtered. “No one will work with you.”

He began to walk through the house, but I was on his heels. “No proof. As a matter of fact, I’m offended you’re even saying this to me.”

“I know you’re gay. You told me. We’ve talked about it. I cried with you in your rundown apartment. You were afraid to come out to your parents. You couldn’t tell your friends. You couldn’t even tell the man you were in love with.”

His face seized in agony. “Shut up, Lex. You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m going to take my chances.”

“And risk the judgment? If there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that all you care about are appearances. You’ll die if I tell.”

He was at the front door. “And if there is something I know about you, it’s that you’re too weak to do what has to be done. You would never sell me out like that. Because as sad as it is, you still care about those memories. They mean something to you. Somewhere in that pretty little head of yours you think I’m still that guy from seven years ago. The one who met you because he had to take a girl to a country music event. You think a sliver of that guy exists. And you know what? He doesn’t. He’s gone, babe.

And what’s left is your soft heart. Your box of memories. And a girl who doesn’t have the guts to save herself.”

He closed the door. I closed my eyes. Everything he said was true.