CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Owen

“Ella, come on we need to go sweetheart.” I shout up the stairs for the second time in the last ten minutes. Neither of us woke up till late this morning, I made Ella have some breakfast seeing as she has dance and I had coffee - good sustenance. “We’re going to be late....” She runs down the stairs cutting me off. She jumps into my arms off the last step and I carry her towards the door, picking up my car keys and her Disney Princess rucksack we head out to the car.

 

We arrive at her dance class ten minutes later, we must have hit every red light and caught all the Sunday drivers out on a Saturday. We run into the hall hoping they haven’t started.

“Good morning.” Grace says as she sees us burst through the door. “We’ve been waiting for you little missy.”

“Daddy didn’t wake up.” She says to Grace with a roll of her eyes.

Wide eyed and in shock I look at Grace. “Morning.” I can’t help but grin at her smiling face. “I’ll be outside getting coffee if you need me and maybe a nap.” I don’t sit upstairs anymore I couldn’t stand the stares. I felt like I had an arrow pointing to my head saying single Dad. I may be the only man that brings his daughter but still...

As I’m finishing up my second cup of coffee in an hour the door opens and the kids start to filter out, I’m starving. I help Ella get her socks and shoes on and stand before Grace. “I have to go, I’m so hungry.” I glance around me to make sure there’s no one around. “How do you fancy the cinema tonight?”

“I’d love that.” she answers nodding. I smile looking down into her eyes. Taking a breath, I look away. “Okay, have a look at the listings and text me later, or we can go bowling, whatever?” I shrug.

“Yeah course.” She tells me laughing, she’s still shaking her head as I leave the room with Ella dragging behind me clinging on to my hand.

 

We walk into the McDonalds and order our usual but the staff are on a go slow, typical just because my stomach grumbles as I smell the food and I think I’m going to die from starvation if I don’t get some soon.

Once we’re seated with food, Ella begins to fill me in on their lesson, she goes into great detail, her arms flying and the expressions on her face are laughable. I love how excited she gets. This is when I can see her Mum in her, she used to be exactly the same.

I’ve been doing a little better lately, she doesn’t completely fill my head space but she is there all the time - that sounds confusing even to me! Ugh, I’m trying so hard I don’t want to be sad all the time, it’s not fair on Ella. Grace is helping too I think - who knows. I’m trying, that’s all I can say.

I want to take this thing with Grace further, who knows where it will go and I’m not quite sure what Grace wants from this either. My whole life is one big routine. I haven’t had anything for myself in so long. It’s been a daily schedule of wake up, tend to Ella, take her to nursery, start my gruelling day of clients, go home tend to Ella then go to bed because I’m shattered. To have something different to look forward to would be great. Don’t get me wrong I love my baby, but it’s hard, really hard and if there was anything I could do to change it, then it would be that Vic didn’t die - but I suppose, just like jenny told me, that was in fate’s hands.

Sighing, I bite into my Big Mac and I realise that Ella is still talking and I haven’t heard a word she’s said for the last few minutes - instead I smile and nod looking enthusiastic before she notices.

 

I pick up Grace at six thirty for our date. God that sounds so strange, date. I know we went out on one last week but I was nervous as fuck and couldn’t think straight. Tonight, though I feel more at ease, I’m not sure if it’s because we got the first one out of the way or not, I do know we still need to talk about things, I’m trying to stretch it out. Ugh, stop being such a pussy Owen and do it.

The door opens and Grace gets in dressed in a pair of black jeans, a top, leather jacket and high heels. Fuck! “Hey.” she leans across and places a small kiss to my cheek, I smirk as she uses her thumb to wipe away the gloss she’s left behind. She places her seatbelt across her and clips into the holder then sits back waiting for me to pull away. My eyes have taken in every fluid movement, every little detail. “What?” Her eyes open wide as she waits for answer.

“Nothing. Hello.” I smile slyly. I lean across and kiss her cheek, lingering for a second too long. Her skin is soft and she smells so good. “You smell nice.”

“Thank you.” She blushes. “It’s Lady Million by Paco Rabanne.” I make a mental note of that name for a later date. I look to the road and pull away.

“So, did you decide on a film or do you want to do something different?”

“I’m really not fussed. I don’t mind.”

“Is there anything you really want to see?”

“Well I probably shouldn’t but I’d love to watch the new IT film...?” she looks across at me with a slight frown, “I don’t know whether I should though.”

“If you don’t like clowns then maybe not? But if you want to brave we can watch it, myself I think I’d prefer The Emoji movie.” Grace bursts out laughing at me, “what? Do you not want to see that?” I question, laughing with her.

She screws her nose up and shakes her head. “No, I don’t think so. Although it could be fun. Maybe Ella will watch with you.” Her hand reaches across and taps my leg as she smirks. My gaze turns to her hand and watches it as I think how much I like her touching me - even if it is innocent.

“We can see whatever you want.” As I sit at a red light my gaze doesn’t shift from hers as it admires the natural beauty of her face, it has me hypnotised. I never thought any woman would make me feel like this again. We stare at each other, Grace standing her ground and not looking away, she bites down onto her lip as my grip tightens onto the steering wheel. My breathing gets a little heavier…

A horn sounds from the car behind. “Shit!” I take the handbrake off and put my hand up as a sorry for holding up the traffic and pull away. I blow out a shaky breath with a shake my head as Grace sniggers. We make the rest of the journey in a comfortable silence with just the radio in the background but with her hand still on my leg.

 

Once we’re inside the cinema we have a look at the showing times and see the first showing for IT is nine thirty so we get our tickets then head over the road to the pub for a drink, seeing as we have at least two hours before we have to be back here.

Grace grabs us a table and I get the drinks for us. She sits in a booth so instead of sitting across from her I take my place next to her. “Are you hungry?” I ask as I pick up the menu from the table.

“Do we have time for food?” she asks as she leans across to look with me. “If we have I’ll just have pasta or something.”

“Well, I am a little hungry, maybe I’ll grab a burger.” I stand from the table, “the Carbonara for you?”

“Yes please, here...” She takes her purse out. I scowl and walk away before she has the chance to give me money.

After ordering I head back to Grace and take my place next to her again. “I can pay you know.” My hand rests on my thigh but it’s itching to move across and grab hers. Screw it in for a penny, in for a pound. My hand takes hers as they both rest on her thigh. “I know but I wanted to pay, apart from Ella I haven’t had anyone to spend any money on, so aren’t you the lucky one.”

“Totally.” Her smile lights up her eyes giving them a sparkle, making her look even more beautiful. My head dips cursing myself for having those thoughts.

“Owen?” Keeping my head down but look across so she knows she has my attention she speaks again. “Are you alright? I mean if you don’t want to do this it’s okay, I’ll understand.

“No. It’s the first time in a long time I’ve smiled properly from someone other than Ella.”

“Look Owen.” she shuffles to sit on an angle and face me, “I don’t know what happened with Ella’s Mum and I’m not saying you have to drag it all up and tell me, that’s entirely up to you. I think you’re a fantastic Dad and Ella is really lucky to have you.” I smile as she hesitates for a second, “I come from a broken home and my dad didn’t want me so to see you with Ella really warms me, it’s a pity not every child has the chance to have a Dad like you, they’re missing out.” She takes breath before continuing.

“I like you Owen. If you want to just be friends I’m okay with that.”

She averts her gaze from mine and takes a sip of her wine. She has laid everything out for me now I need to think about whether I’m ready for this. I do like her, she makes me feel again, she gives me that little bit of hope that I can have a normal relationship again, makes me feel like I’m not drowning in grief.

“Is that what you think,” I ask dragging myself from my own inner thoughts. “I just want to be friends?”

“I don’t know. You don’t give anything away and you always seem so - I don’t know, not sad but you have a weight that seems to bear down on you. Some days it’s like you want to shut out the world.”

“You don’t realise just how accurate that is.” I hold her hand a little tighter and rub my thumb across her knuckles. “I do want to be friends,” she frowns as she dips her head, looking at our joined hands. She tries to take her hand from mine but I hold it tighter. “But, I would also like to see where this goes.” her head springs up, “if that’s alright with you. There are things I need to tell you, sooner rather than later about Ella’s Mum, I’d like to tell you but not here. Maybe later?” Her head nods as a smile stretches across her face. I lean forward and touch her lips with mine, kissing her softly. Before I can take it any further the barmaid brings our food over and places it in front of us with the cutlery. After thanking her we get stuck in to our food, conversation can wait.