Chapter Four
Kendall was invited to dinner with Lexie, Kade, and his business partner, Derek West, and his wife, Cassie. Even Lucas Monroe and his wife, Maxie, were here, Lucas’s parents at home with the couple’s new baby girl, Sarah.
The fact that Lucas’s parents had accepted him and Maxie as a couple was big news, as Maxie had once been married to Lucas’s asshole brother, who’d manipulated them to keep the couple apart since they were young. Kendall took heart from their success and hoped her family would someday be as generous—if things with Julian went further.
The restaurant was an upscale French bistro with a Parisian feel, bold flowers peeking out of the corners, the atmosphere quiet and surprisingly welcoming.
She knew it had taken the pull of the billionaires to get them a table, and she looked forward to trying a new place. She looked forward to tasting the three-Michelin-star food prepared by the world-renowned chef, the highest amount of stars given. Even if she wasn’t sure what to choose and decided to copy what her sister ordered, just to be safe.
Kendall wore a burgundy fitted dress with bone pumps, while Lexie chose a navy dress, Maxie a winter-white one, and Cassie a pretty floral. The men wore suits, which was unusual for them as they did enjoy their denim, Kendall thought wryly. Like Julian, none of the guys came from super wealthy backgrounds. Everyone was self-made, and they remained true to who they were to begin with.
Derek ordered wine and even Kade gave up his usual Macallen scotch that he drank in a very… Kade-like way, to join everyone with a glass of wine. The waiter poured, and Derek tested, red, and now they had their glasses full.
Kendall could take a sip or two if she wanted, but she didn’t love wine enough to bother, and Maxie was breastfeeding, so she’d bypassed the alcohol, too.
They placed their orders, and they could finally talk to each other without being interrupted by a waiter with specials, requesting drink orders, or taking their dinner choices.
“How are things going at Storms Consolidated?” Lexie asked Cassie, who had taken over her family media business when, after a lot of complications, angst, and drama, Derek bought the company and put her in charge.
Derek laced his fingers through hers and placed their joined hands on top of the table. “She’s making major changes.”
Kendall knew that Cassie had wanted to bring the company into the modern world, something her father had failed at doing, and focus more on online subscribers and technology.
“And the article she wrote about me, much as I hated being the center of attention, really turned things around for Take a Byte,” he said of the online magazine Cassie ran. “Advertisers are impressed, and she has other subjects booked for upcoming months,” he added with obvious pride.
“You’re too sweet,” Cassie murmured, her gaze lovingly on Derek. “I’m trying hard to make it work,” she said to the rest of the table.
He kissed the back of her hand, the moment suddenly intimate. But when Kendall looked at her sister, Kade was gazing at her the same way. And Lucas and Maxie were busy both looking at her cell phone.
Kendall shifted uncomfortably in her seat, feeling like the odd man out in a mix of loving couples. She knew they weren’t trying to make her uncomfortable on purpose. They were all good people who had supported her when they could have turned their backs, who’d taken her in as a friend, and who she genuinely liked.
Yet as she looked around, she’d never felt more alone.
It wasn’t their fault. Each person was a part of a couple. She wasn’t. They were friends through their significant others. Kendall came to them through her sister. For a while, that had been enough, but now she needed more of her own life and plans.
Like Julian? the devil on her shoulder asked.
“So, Kendall, are you seeing anyone?” Cassie asked hopefully, breaking into her traitorous, unwanted thoughts.
The women were always suggesting different men for her to date in an attempt to be helpful. Kendall appreciated the effort but had wanted to move forward on her own time. When she knew she was over Julian completely and ready to try again.
Now he was back. And she couldn’t tell anyone at this table. Not even about something as innocent as a trip to the dog park. Because Julian had, in one way or another, stabbed all of these men in the back.
Kendall pasted a happy smile on her face. “No, nobody new,” she said.
“Well, we just hired this new reporter and he’s hot.” Cassie fanned her hand in front of her face.
“Oh, Kendall? What do you think? Are you up for a blind date?” Lexie asked, nudging her with her arm.
“You have to get back in the saddle sometime,” Kade said, ever-not-so-helpfully.
Typical man.
“Not right now,” Kendall said. “But I’ll be sure to let you know when I’m ready.”
“Okay,” Maxie said, sounding disappointed.
“Is it good to get way from the little one?” Derek asked Maxie and Lucas, changing the subject. “Or are you dying to get home?”
“She’s only checked her phone every two seconds for a text from my mother,” Lucas said lovingly.
“Like you’re any different? You keep asking me if I’ve heard anything!” Maxie said with a laugh.
And from there, they were on to conversation about babies. Kendall shifted in her seat.
As far as she was concerned, tomorrow couldn’t get here fast enough, something the people at this table would be horrified to find out about.
* * *
Kendall overdressed for the dog park, all the while annoyed with herself for caring what she looked like to meet Julian. But the last two times she’d seen him, she’d been at her grungy worst, and pride demanded she pull herself together today and make a good impression.
She sifted through her closet, changing more than once. Ultimately she chose a pair of tight jeans that accentuated her curves, a light pink top with open shoulders, and a pair of black slip-on ballet flats. She brushed her hair, keeping it down and flowing over her shoulders, and dusted on a light amount of makeup.
She and her therapist had talked in preparation for today’s date. True to form, the doctor hadn’t offered an opinion either way on what to do about Julian and his reappearance in her life. She had, however, thrown questions at Kendall for her to think about. Things like, did she trust her instincts lately? Yes, yes she did. More and more, in fact.
Did she think people could change? A loaded question, since Kendall obviously knew she had. But she was on medication, she’d reminded her doctor. But all that did was stabilize what was already inside Kendall.
What did Kendall think was inside Julian? A good man? A bad one? And did she want to find out?
By the time her appointment had ended, all Kendall knew was that she had a dog date with Julian, which would provide time for Kendall to watch him, get to know him again, and lean on her instincts.
No time like the present, she thought, glancing at her prancing dog, who knew from the leash in her hand they were going out.
“You ready to make a friend?” she asked Waffles, holding out her harness.
The dog began to circle around, and Kendall hooked her up, clasped the leash, grabbed her messenger bag, put on her sunglasses, and was ready to go.
She headed out, more excited for this morning than she’d been for her dinner last night.
She still felt guilty for not mentioning today’s plans to her sister. She didn’t like lying, even by omission, but there was no way she could have explained the situation to anyone at the table.
Besides, it was just one friend doing another friend a favor, showing him where to hang out with his dog.
Liar.
She frowned at her inner voice. Because the fact remained that Julian wanted more from Kendall than friendship—and a part of Kendall desired more, too. Something she’d have to take one step at a time, if at all.
There was so much they didn’t know about each other. So many things that had changed about her since they’d been together last.
She glanced up as she walked. White clouds dotted the sky, and the temperature was in the mid-seventies. In the sun, she didn’t need a jacket, but she’d tied a sweatshirt around her waist, just in case.
Nerves dancing in her stomach, she arrived at the park early and settled in to wait, releasing Waffles into the gated area so she could play. On such a beautiful day, the park was crowded with different dogs and their owners, and Kendall recognized a few people from her prior trips here. She said hello and waited for Julian.
Right on time, he arrived, gorgeous as ever in a pair of dark jeans and a white tee shirt, his biceps flexing, arm tattoo visible, giving him a sexy air. Add to that the aviators on his eyes and his dark hair glinting in the sun, and he simply took her breath away.
In one hand, he carried a cardboard tray with two Starbucks cups in the holders. Steve trotted along beside him, gray ears flopping as he walked. He looked happy and a lot healthier than the last time she’d seen him, and she smiled in relief.
“Hey, little man!” Kendall said to Steve, waiting until Julian let himself inside the gate and closed it behind him before she knelt down to greet the dog. “You look so much better.” She petted his soft head before rising to her feet and meeting Julian’s amused stare.
“I hope you’re as happy to see me.” He winked, causing her stomach to pitch and pleasure and arousal to flood through her, her breasts suddenly full, her nipples hard and visible beneath her shirt.
“I’m pleased to see you both,” she admitted.
“I brought drinks. A grande vanilla chai for you.”
“You remembered,” she said, touched by the gesture.
He smiled. “When it comes to you, I couldn’t forget.”
Unnerved, she focused on pulling the cup from the holder and removing his as well. He tossed the cardboard in the nearest trash can, released Steve from his leash, and let him join in the dog fun.
“Here.” She handed him his coffee.
“So this is where the cool dog parents hang out, hmm?”
She laughed, looking over the dogs playing, wrestling, tussling for dominance. “It’s a nice-sized area and it’s clean. The people who come here are pretty respectful with their dogs. Oh, look!” She gestured to where Steve and Waffles had found one another.
Waffles nudged Steve with her nose, then assumed a stiff pose, waiting for some kind of reaction. Steve, on the other hand, shifted his body and froze in another position, each waiting to see what the other would do. Eventually they were rolling around on the ground, wrestling like old friends.
“Steve’s got good taste,” Julian said, folding his arms across his chest as he watched his dog play. “I guess it runs in the family.”
Her cheeks warmed, and it wasn’t from the heat of the sun. “Julian,” she said in a warning tone. She wasn’t ready to have an intimate conversation with him about feelings.
“So let’s catch up,” he said. As if sensing her discomfort, he quickly changed the subject. “How did you end up working at the shelter?”
She blew out a breath, relaxing at the easy, softball question. She immediately decided if he wanted to have any kind of relationship with her, he needed to know everything—and choose whether to be her friend or to run far and fast.
“Well,” she said, wrapping her hands around the warm cup, “when I got out of the hospital and Lexie gave Waffles back to me, I knew I needed to start life fresh and get a job.”
“Whoa. Wait. Hospital? When were you in the hospital?”
She ran her tongue over her dry lips. The bench had opened up, and she gestured toward it. “Let’s sit.”
They settled in, and she turned toward him, her knees touching his. “You know I’m bipolar, and after what happened with you and what I did, stealing Kade’s watch, pawning it… I knew I needed more help than weekly therapy could give.”
He dipped his chin and glanced away. “You did those things because I encouraged you to.”
She shook her head. “I did those things because it gave me a rush. A high. I was sick, and to be honest, yes, you played into my illness.” She put the coffee cup down and twisted her hands together.
He covered her hands in his, and she appreciated the comfort he tried to give. “You don’t need to do this.”
“Yes. I do. Because I think you have this skewed version of who I am in your head. Once you know the truth, you’ll run far and fast, like everyone else,” she muttered before drawing a deep breath and continuing.
“Anyway, I spent my life letting my sister clean up my messes and take care of me, and I treated her so badly. So after I found out the truth—that you set me up, knew who I was, used me to get to Kade… and I allowed it—I knew something had to change. So I checked myself into Maple Hill, an inpatient psychiatric facility.”
He placed a warm hand on the back of her neck. “Relax,” he murmured. “And breathe.”
Her entire body was rigid, she realized, her gaze focused on the playing dogs, because she’d been waiting for his shock, then horror, then any excuse to get away from the mental patient.
She pulled in a ragged breath and exhaled, forcing herself to take in much-needed air and allowing her muscles to ease up.
“I didn’t know about the hospital, but it doesn’t change what I think of you. Now go on. I believe I asked you how you got the job at the shelter.”
He wasn’t running. He still wanted to get to know her. Relief rushed through her as that truth settled in. “Right. The shelter. When I got out of the hospital, medicated and more in control of myself, I needed a job. I’d bought Waffles during one of my manic phases, but she gave me focus in those early days. And I realized that’s what I was good at. Dealing with animals. I started walking the neighbors’ dogs, turned that into a business, and found the shelter job, too.”
“You found your calling.” His hand remained on the back of her neck, his thumb gently rubbing back and forth. What started as comfort was fast turning to sexual awareness.
It had never taken much with Julian in the past. A look. A kiss. And they’d duck into the nearest coat closet in a hotel, lock a single-person restroom and go at it there. The doctors explained her heightened sexual need was part of her illness, but she had to admit, she wanted him still.
She tilted her head and met his gaze. “I guess I’m the female dog whisperer.” She grinned.
“You’re certainly my whisperer,” he said in a husky voice, his face close to hers.
His mossy-green eyes grew darker, and she thought he was going to kiss her. Her body was primed and ready, her heart beating inside her chest, her sex damp. Just from the thought of a public kiss.
She pulled in a deep breath, and he moved in, sliding his nose along the side of hers. “Nothing you said changed my mind,” he whispered. “I want a second chance.”
It wasn’t a claiming of her mouth; it was so much more. But she had reservations. “I don’t know. There’s so much … pain between us.”
But the man in front of her wasn’t the same guy she’d known. She felt it deep in her gut.
“How about we just get to know each other again? No pressure.”
“What did you have in mind?” she asked.
“Well, tomorrow night I’m going for dinner at a very good friend’s house. You spoke to him on the phone. Nick Cantone. He’s also my AA sponsor. An alcoholic.” He paused a beat, letting that piece of information sink in before going on.
“I have dinner with his family on Sunday nights, and I’d like it very much if you came with me. Getting to know them will help you get to know me.”
In his expression, she saw a vulnerability that was new. A fear she would reject him. He hadn’t run at her big revelation. She wasn’t about to run at his.
AA. Alcoholics Anonymous. He’d mentioned that once before, in the car when he’d apologized. He, too, was working on his issues. She didn’t have to think twice about her answer.
“I’d love to come.” She didn’t know what she was getting herself into, but she couldn’t deny she wanted to find out.
The rest of the afternoon didn’t involve anything serious in the way of conversation. Instead they talked about his job, the building of his business, and the surprises involved with adopting a pet.
He picked up a stick and threw it. Steve ran for the object and brought it back to Julian. “Good boy!” He petted the dog on his head. “All that ball tossing in the apartment paid off.” He glanced at Kendall. “I throw toward the bathroom. He’s got room to run and retrieve.”
“I’m impressed.” She picked up a different stick and tried the same thing with Waffles.
The fluffy dog ran, picked up the stick, lay down, and began chewing on it.
“Terriers,” Kendall muttered. “They have a stubborn mind of their own.”
Julian laughed. “She definitely does her own thing.” He met her gaze, laughter in the green depths. “This has been fun,” he said. “We should do it again.”
Pleasure suffused her at his suggestion. “Because the dogs are now best friends?” She gestured to where the two pets were now tussling for the same stick.
“That’s one reason. And because, like I said, I want us to be more.”
* * *
Julian headed to pick up Kendall for his dinner at the Cantones’. Every time he recalled her agreeing to join him, he released a breath and sat up straighter, knowing he’d accomplished something important during their trip to the dog park. He’d gotten her back into his life.
Baby steps, he thought, the whole experience putting him on edge. What did he know about taking it slow? Baring his soul? But he was doing it, wasn’t he? She was joining him for what would be as close to a family dinner as he could have.
He’d never known his father, who’d abandoned the family when Julian was nine and his sister, Alyssa, was one. They hadn’t gotten along anyway, except clearly they’d gotten together, because Alyssa was an oops baby, as his mother liked to say. His mother had turned into a functioning alcoholic, as Julian thought of her. She’d worked and raised her children, but alcohol was her crutch and always in her system.
Julian had sworn he’d never let a substance dictate how he lived or behaved. Damned ironic. That was exactly what he’d done. His mother’s trigger had been his father’s leaving. Julian’s trigger had been his sister’s accident. Not something he liked to think about, but he’d dealt with it enough, so for now he pushed that thought away and focused on the night ahead.
He’d never brought a woman to meet his friends, let alone this friend, his sponsor and the man who’d all but saved his life. And knew him best.
Kendall opened the door, wearing a V-neck, multicolor draped dress in light blue tones. Her eyes sparkled, her cheeks were bright, and he caught a glimpse of the woman he’d known, who was always up for any adventure.
“Looking good, kitten,” he said, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her on the cheek. He wanted to do more, but “tread lightly” was his motto.
She blushed. “Thank you.” She turned to Waffles, who was nuzzling her head against Julian’s jean-clad legs. “Be good, girl. I’ll be back later,” Kendall said.
Waffles whined in response.
“We’ll bring you to see Steve again soon,” Julian promised in an attempt to soothe the dog.
She whined again and lay down on the floor, gazing up at him with pathetic eyes.
“Are they born knowing how to make us guilty? Steve does the same thing.”
Kendall laughed, the sound light and airy, going right to his groin.
“Ignore her. She’s perfected the sad face. I have a camera here and an app on my phone. I can see her while I’m gone. She sleeps the whole time. Bye, puppy.” She blew a kiss, grabbed a bakery box from the counter, and they walked out the door.
She led him to the elevator, giving him a view of her spectacularly tight ass, hips swaying as she walked ahead of him.
Nick and his wife, Lauren, lived in a two-bedroom on the Upper West Side. The apartment was for sale because they were ready to move to a house in the suburbs, but they hadn’t been able to sell it for what they wanted yet. Julian would miss them living in the city and attending the same meetings, but like everything else in life, he’d adjust. He was just grateful he was finally in a good place and didn’t have to rely on Nick as he had in the past.
Together he and Kendall took a cab to their destination, the driver talking to them the entire way. Kendall shot him an amused smile, and impulse had him reaching out and grabbing her hand and running his thumb over her soft skin.
Her eyes opened wide, but she didn’t pull away, which gave him a silent thrill as they sped through Manhattan.