Chapter Fourteen
Shopping with an eighteen-year-old girl was not for the weak. Together Kendall and Alex hit many small boutique stores in Soho that were reasonably priced and some better-known chain stores. Alex tried on more clothes than Kendall owned—and shopping sprees had been her Achilles’ heel during her improperly or unmedicated days. Her father had paid off many a ridiculous bill, she thought, flushing with pained embarrassment at the memory.
Finally Alex chose a floral summer dress with a halter top and a pair of sandals with a chunky high heel. She was riding the high of success Kendall remembered well but no longer felt. She was just happy and living vicariously through Alex’s excitement for her date.
When they parted ways, they were still downtown. Alex headed uptown to the library to work, and Kendall decided, since she was in the neighborhood, to pay her sister and her brother-in-law a visit.
She’d managed to cut Lexie short whenever she called this past week, needing time to nurse her anger and hurt and to think about what she wanted to say and how she wanted to handle the situation before she just blurted out mean-spirited things she couldn’t take back and really didn’t mean. Her therapy appointments had also helped put things into perspective.
She was still hurt by Julian. Incredibly hurt, but her anger had dissipated in light of serious thought and understanding. He had his issues like she did. And she knew he was afraid she’d choose her sister over him.
After all, she’d pulled away and spelled out her deep need not to disappoint her twin. He was just giving her what she thought she needed… also reacting to his own fears and a healthy dose of uncertainty and distrust of people in general, Kade especially.
Did she blame him for breaking up with her if he really loved her like he claimed? Yes, yes she did. But a part of her understood the need to do it before what he thought was inevitable happened—she left him—and it hurt even more.
She’d given him a week and was debating going over to see him and make him confront what was between them. If he really did love her, how could he walk away?
But first she had something to settle with her sister and brother-in-law.
When she arrived at Blink, Lexie was in Kade’s office with the door open, so Kendall knocked.
“Come on in,” Kade called.
“Kendall!” Lexie was on her feet and hugging her before Kendall could draw a breath, her arms holding on tight.
Kendall swallowed an onslaught of emotion and wrapped her arms around her sister, too.
“I’m sorry,” Lexie said. “We went too far and I’m sorry.” Her voice wobbled with the same emotion running through Kendall.
“I wouldn’t say too far but… I’m sorry I upset you,” Kade said, sounding like the words were pulled from him but no less heartfelt. She didn’t expect him to regret his intrusive behavior. It was his way of looking out for her even if she didn’t like it.
“Thank you,” she murmured.
Kendall stepped away from her twin and brushed at her damp eyes. “I came to tell you guys a few things, and I need you to hear me.”
“I’m listening,” Lexie assured her. She stepped over to Kade, lacing her hand through his and clearly giving him a squeeze.
“Of course I’m listening. And I’m hearing you,” he promised.
Kendall smiled in thanks and turned to her sister. “Okay, well, first, you should know I will always be eternally grateful for all you did for me, all you sacrificed, and all you gave up to try and keep me on a sane, healthy path. I will never forget it, and I want to think I’d do the same for you.”
Lexie nodded, the emotion clear in her expression. “I love you.”
Kendall swallowed hard. “Me, too. That’s why this next part is so hard for me to say, but here goes. I’m an adult now. And yes, I’ve made mistakes, and yes, I’ve been ill, but I’m better and I’ve proven that by now. I take my medicine every day. I’m in therapy. If I feel off and it goes on too long, I let my doctor know and ask for a medication adjustment. I’m living as good a life as I can.”
Lexie sniffed. “I know. I see it and I’m so incredibly proud of you.”
Kendall straightened her shoulders. “Then don’t make me pay for my bipolar disorder and my past. Maybe you couldn’t trust my judgment then, but you can now.”
“Kendall, it isn’t you we don’t trust,” Kade said.
She rubbed her hands together in front of her. “Well, then that brings me to my next point. You got your way. Julian walked away from me in part because he doesn’t want to make me choose between him and my family.” Intense pain racked her as she said those words out loud.
Kade opened his mouth to speak, and Lexie elbowed him hard in the side. “Shut up. Don’t say a word to her about how it’s for the best. She doesn’t think so, and that’s what matters.” Lexie met her twin’s gaze.
Kendall knew that was Lexie’s way of saying she’d do her best to respect Kendall’s independence and needs, and she was grateful.
“I was just going to say I’m sorry,” Kade muttered.
“Sorry and I’m sure relieved,” Kendall said. Because Kade had to be happy Julian had broken up with her. But she wasn’t finished.
“And now my final point. I don’t want things to be over with Julian, and if I have my way, they won’t be because I love him. Which means you can accept my decision and be part of my life, or you can lose me. The choice is yours. I’m finished letting anyone, no matter how well meaning, decide the direction of my life. Not even my twin. Or her husband.” She finished in a rush and folded her arms across her chest, glancing from Lexie, whose eyes were open wide, to Kade, who appeared surprised.
Kendall’s pulse pounded and nerves made her dizzy, but she’d made her stand. She’d be lying if she didn’t say she was panicked at the thought of losing her twin for good, of being stripped of her support system and left alone. But she had to be strong.
The ball was in their court.
“Well?” A way-too-familiar voice asked from behind her. “She wants you to respect her wishes and let her be with the man she loves.”
Kendall gasped, both at Julian’s unexpected arrival and his use of that word as applied to her. She’d never told him she loved him.
She spun around to find him in the doorway, one shoulder propped on the frame, a pleased, happy smile on his handsome face. And oh, did he look good in his black tee shirt and sexy bulging muscles, his dark jeans molded to his strong thighs. She’d missed him so much.
“How long have you been standing there?” she asked.
“Long enough to know you love me and want me back. And long enough to realize you’re stronger and braver than I was. But that’s about to change because I came here to tell Kade the same thing.” He straightened his shoulders and stepped into the room, clearly prepared to stand up to Kade.
“I thought we had that conversation,” Kade said, reminding him. “And what did you do? You promised you were a good guy, and then you walked away from her.” Kade folded his arms across his chest and raised an accusing eyebrow his way.
Julian didn’t flinch, accepting his behavior and Kade’s words. “That was an impulsive, stupid response to your private investigator. I’ll tell you what. If you want to know something about my life, ask me. I’m an open book these days. Don’t go behind my back for information and don’t tell the woman I love that I’m no good for her. Because you’re damn well wrong.”
Warmth and gratitude rushed through Kendall as Julian stood up for her to her family. It was everything she’d ever wanted to see and hear.
“Looks like you two made your choices,” Kade said.
Kendall couldn’t breathe at the implication in those words. Was he really going to cut her out of his life? And what about Lexie?
“Kade!” her twin said, obviously just as shocked.
“What? I’m about to offer them my office to work out whatever is going on between them.”
Kendall’s heart began to beat again, although erratically. “You’re not… You aren’t turning your back on me?” she asked.
“Oh, honey,” Lexie said. “That was never our intention. We want what’s best for you. We just couldn’t understand that you chose… him. But now that you have, we’ll have to find a way to make it work. I can’t lose you, either.”
“Oh my God.” Kendall knew Julian was standing there, that he loved her, that he’d come to fight for her. But she hugged her twin first anyway because for a split second… well, she didn’t want to think about that ever again.
“Come on, let’s leave them alone,” Lexie said, walking to Kade, grasping his hand, and leading him out.
Kade came to a halt in front of Julian. Two self-assured, commanding men. “Hurt her and you answer to me.”
A few seconds of silence passed, in which Kendall once again held her breath.
“I accept those terms,” Julian finally said, extending a hand for Kade to shake.
Kade glanced down… and completed the gesture, causing grateful tears to fill Kendall’s eyes. She glanced at her sister, who was equally touched and affected.
She knew better than to think everything was perfect, but they’d forged a truce, and that was all she could hope for right now. Time would prove to her sister and Kade that Julian was honorable and trustworthy.
As Kade and Lexie walked out of his office, Kade turned back. “Don’t do anything in here. I don’t think my anxiety or OCD could handle the thought.” And then he was gone and they were alone.
* * *
Julian waited for Kade and Lexie to walk out the door before locking it behind them. He wasn’t so much shutting them out as closing Kendall in. To say this afternoon hadn’t gone the way he’d expected was an understatement.
He’d been prepared for a fight or, at the very least, an argument.
What he hadn’t been prepared to see or hear was Kendall standing up to her sister and Kade—who was intimidating on his best day—for him. Kendall, declaring her love for him, consequences be damned. His girl was brave. Braver than he was, and he was humbled by it all. And he couldn’t wait another minute to touch her again.
He turned, and before he knew it, she’d bolted forward and jumped into his arms.
He caught her, stumbling back before he could steady himself, and looked into her eyes. “Jesus, I was a fucking moron.”
She laced her fingers behind his neck to hold on. “I think I gave you plenty of reason to think breaking up with me was the right thing to do.” She bit down on her lower lip, something he would much rather be the one doing. “But don’t try something like that again. From now on we communicate. Agreed?”
He answered by sealing his lips over hers and kissing her for all he was worth, breathing her in as if he couldn’t get enough. Because he couldn’t. He’d missed her touch, her scent, the very essence of her being, and he never wanted to let her go.
He slid his fingers through her hair and slicked his tongue past her parted lips. She moaned and kissed him back, all the while holding him close.
His cock throbbed inside his jeans, reminding him of Kade’s warning, and unbidden, a laugh bubbled up in his throat.
“Oh my God. What’s so funny?” she asked, her eyes twinkling with relief and happiness. A happiness that matched his.
“I was just thinking about what Kade said about us not doing anything in his office.”
A smile tweaked her lips. “You so want to do it on his desk, don’t you?”
“Don’t give me any ideas, you bad girl. The man’s just given me a partial opening. I don’t want to screw it up.” He grew more serious, gazing into her eyes. “You’re too important to me. I love you, Kendall.”
She brushed her thumb over his cheek. “I love you, too. Enough to risk everything.”
“I won’t let you regret it. I’m all in. I promise. No walking away, backing out, or doing something stupid to screw things up. I’m in too deep.”
She grinned. “I’m glad to hear it because I’m in deep, too. And I’m not going anywhere, either.”