“Hi, Hannah,” Rita – the overly friendly receptionist at my dad’s office, called out to me. “How’s it going? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Fine,” oh God, the tremble in my voice was obvious. I needed to disguise my fear if I was going to get through this with any dignity intact. Parker stood behind me, trying to reassure me with his presence, but to be honest he was only making me worse. “Is my dad around?”

“Hold on, let me buzz him. I think he had a meeting this morning...”

“Right, okay, I’ll just take a seat.”

I moved to the waiting area, physically shaking as my butt hit the very plush cushions underneath me. I glanced around, trying to look at this office with a new appreciation now that my eyes had been opened, but to be honest my brain was too dizzy to drink any of it in.

Maybe another day...

“It’ll be okay,” Parker whispered quietly to me. “Your dad loves you. He’ll forgive you.”

I nodded, but I wasn’t sure. How could I tell Parker that Dad always hated my boyfriends, no matter who they were? He despised Barrie, my high school sweetheart, despite the fact that he was already a successful entrepreneur. He hated Danny, but I guess I understood that one. His money all came from a drug ring, not that I knew it at the time. Carson was the worst, but again now I could see he was right on this one too.

Parker was nothing like those guys, he was sweet, kind, honest, but would the infamous Joe Ricks see it that way? He liked men like him, he would probably want me to end up with a successful businessman, not a guy who lived in a tiny apartment on the ‘bad side of town’. Parker was strong, and masculine, but my dad would probably only see the danger.

He was the hired help... that was the worst part about all of this.

“Hannah, your dad said he can see you now if you want to go into his office.”

“Oh right, okay.”

I stood up, held my head as high as I could muster, and I stalked forward. Parker walked just as confidently behind me, which only reminded me that he’s been here before. He came to this office to get a job looking after me.

Urgh, this was impossible.

I glanced over to Parker as I raised my fist to knock, and he gave me a very reassuring nod. At least he was here, at least I didn’t have to go through all this on my own. Parker wanted to defend me to the very last minute, I’ve even suggested that he didn’t come but he told me that he couldn’t do that.

Knock, knock...

“Hannah, is that you? Just come in.”

I shoved the door and it swung open, revealing my father sitting behind a large mahogany desk. He looked powerful and in control, it showed me a very different side to him. I was so used to us both just screaming and yelling at each other, that it was easy to forget that he was a strong and respected man.

“Oh hi, Dad, are you okay?” I shuffled over to him, all my confidence flooding away. I’ve been trying desperately to build myself up, but now that time was all totally wasted. I’d become a child all over again. “I’m sorry to turn up at your work like this.”

But he wasn’t looking at me, he was staring at Parker over my head. I could only deduce that he was remembering the phone call we had only a short while ago, and putting two and two together to make four. I narrowed my eyes, trying to disguise the fear tearing through my body, but I was pretty sure it came out anyway.

“Right, okay,” Dad finally said slowly. “So what is it that you have to say here?”

“Erm...” I moved to the chair and forced myself to sit down. “Right well, I guess...” I sighed deeply trying to organize my thoughts, but the mouth vomit kept spilling out anyway. “I just want to say sorry... for the way that I’ve been recently. The drinking, the yelling, the smashing stuff. I should’ve never behaved like that, I should’ve seen that... that you were suffering too, and I should’ve been better.”

“I think we’ve both done wrong here,” Dad interjected kindly, stopping me from going on my rant. “We both got lost in our grief. We both distanced ourselves. I just hope that now we can start fresh.”

“Erm yeah,” I wanted that too, so badly, but I needed to get everything out before I got distracted. My eyes were already welling up with tears. “But there’s more. I... I... I have to tell you that I’m...” I couldn’t say it, I couldn’t get the words out, so instead I slipped my hand into Parker’s hoping that the gesture would make my meaning clear.

“So, you and Parker?” As Dad’s expression tightened, all the arguments for making this relationship work fell from my mind. What the hell was wrong with me? Why did my dad have me feeling totally intimidated? “You’re together now?”

“Yes, Sir,” Parker jumped in for me. “We are, and I know you might not approve, but I can only assure you that I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make her happy. I think that Hannah has been through some tough times, and what she needs is someone who will put her first. I am the one who will do that. Maybe I don’t make as much money as...”

“Wait,” Dad held up his hands, stopping Parker from his very romantic speech. “You think I care about how much money you make?”

“Well, I don’t know, you probably want someone who can take care of Hannah...”

“Money won’t do that, and I’m pretty sure Hannah can take care of herself.”

“Well, that’s true...”

It was nice to know that both these men had confidence in me, even if I didn’t. I knew that I wanted to make a go of things, that I wanted to restart my writing career, but I wasn’t confident that I could be successful. Still, it was nice to hear.

“Dad, I love Parker, this is serious,” I told him much firmer. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

“So, what are you going to do about being deployed?” Dad turned away from me with a smile. That warmed me right up, it felt good to have my father’s approval, especially when I hadn’t ever had it before. “Is that going to cause added pressure?”

“Well, it was voluntary,” Parker admitted bravely. “So all I need to do is contact my commanding office. Luckily we’re good friends, so I’m hoping it’ll be okay.”

“And what do you intend to do next? If you’re leaving the forces, what’s your next plan?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” I could feel Parker deflating, we were back to the sticky topic, the one that we would have to resolve before we could move forward. All of this was lovely, amazing, but Parker needed something to focus his attention on too. Especially if I was going to have my writing... “I will find something though.”

“Why don’t you come work for me?” I burst into hysterical laughter at that one, it was just so ironic. Dad hiring Parker was what had caused all of this in the first place. “No, I’m serious. I need a new head of security, so you’d be doing me a favor. I’ve been desperately trying to find someone that I trust, someone I can rely on, and you are perfect. I was going to ask you if you wanted to take on this role when you called me to tell me that you were quitting, so... well, now you aren’t, the opportunity is still there.”

Dad looked hopefully at Parker, and I sent him a curious look too. It was a weird solution to our issue, but it was better than nothing. If it was what Parker wanted then I would support him wholeheartedly, but if it wasn’t then I could go along with that too.

“I’m... I don’t know what to say,” Parker gasped happily. “That’s such a wonderful opportunity, I don’t know how to thank you enough.”

“Thank me by taking the job,” Dad shrugged and smiled, like it was totally obvious.

“Do whatever you want,” I agreed. “If this is what you want, then I support you wholeheartedly.”

“Oh wow, well thank you, that’s so nice. I would love it.”

As they fell into chatter about the new job for Parker, I sat back and grinned happily to myself. This had gone incredibly well, even better than I’ve hoped, which made my heart swell with joy. This morning, I was sitting in Carson’s home, misery coursing through my veins. I thought that my life was over, I thought that I was stuck forever more, whereas now... now I’ve had a serious conversation with my father, we were on the right track to being happy, and I had the love of my life by my side.

Things were going amazingly.

Now all I needed to do was find a pen and paper, I had to get writing once more. And at the very least I had a whole lot of material to help me! My dramatic life would be useful for something.

Mom? I thought in my mind, trying to communicate beyond the grave for the very first time. I’m sorry that you’re not here anymore, I miss you every single day, but I hope that you’re happy for me. I lost myself along the way, I’ll admit I did some really stupid stuff, but I’ll be better now. I’ll make you proud.

“Are you alright?” Dad asked me curiously, dragging me from my thoughts. “Your expression looks a little... is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” I grinned honestly for the first time in ages. “Yeah, I’m good. Thank you, Dad. I’m really good.”