I just made it across the street in time, bumping into my manager, Leila, smoking a cigarette outside on the street.

“Are you okay, honey?” She asked, brushing a strand of her fried blonde hair from her eyes and smiling at me kindly.

I had to ask for my shift to be changed yesterday and had to tell her why - and while I appreciated her kindness, that was the last thing I needed to be reminded of right then.

“Yeah, thanks, Leila,” I returned her smile. “Could I tap a cigarette?”

“Sure thing,” she held out the pack to me, and I fumbled in my pocket for a lighter, glad to have a few minutes to myself as Leila went in to open the store for the morning.

I wasn’t usually a smoker, but when it gave me a few extra breaks at work, you could be sure I would be lighting up more than usual. Besides, with everything that had happened the last few days, no one could blame me.

Leila disappeared into the backroom to sort through a new shipment of clothes that had arrived that morning, and I leaned up on the counter, smiling vacantly at any customers who wandered in.

They were few and far between, giving me plenty of time to think - though I did my best to keep my mind clear. Focused on the present, I spoke to myself in platitudes.

Live in the now. Logan drifted through my mind again, and I wondered if he’d be by the house again anytime soon to help out Mom.

She was a proud woman, and not exactly keen on letting people see her weaknesses, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she muddled through by herself instead of taking him up on his offer.

I decided to stop by Mom’s on my way home that evening. It was out of my way, but I had to get in the habit of seeing her more often.

I knew she would be struggling without Dad, more than I could ever imagine - after all, I had my own social circle to fall back on, a bunch of my own friends and lovers I could call up at a moment’s notice and use to distract me from whatever I was going through at any particular time.

For her? It had all been about Dad and I since I was born, focusing in on family to an almost obsessive degree. And now, she needed me to pay some of that love back to her, especially while she got back up on her feet again.

My shift drifted by in a hot summer haze, Leila humming away with needles clenched between her teeth as she wandered in and out of the storefront.

We only had a couple of customers come in that day. A small prom party looking for the perfect dress and certainly not finding it, and a hurried-looking businesswoman grabbing a dress for a wedding.

I was polite as I could manage, mustering up a smile for the few and far between customers who made it through the door. As soon as five rolled around, I shouted through to Leila that I was on my way, and finally made it out onto the street.

It was almost stiflingly hot - I immediately peeled off the cardigan I’ve been wearing all day and tossed it over my shoulder, fanning my face with one hand as I started the long walk over to Mom’s place.

Dating someone like Ellis came in handy - he had a car, so I didn’t have to worry about walking the couple of miles across town to my parent’s house.

It meant that he had encountered my parents more times than I think either party would have liked, but hey, it made my life easier. Even if I did have to convince Dad that I wasn’t thinking about marrying this one.

The walk went by quickly, as I retreated back into my brain and thought about Mom. I would have to encourage her to get out a bit more often, call up all those friends who had drifted off as she dealt with Dad’s illness.

We had family scattered through the city, and I knew they’d be only too happy to come to help her if she asked them - but she wasn’t exactly one to ask.

I would have to be the one to go there first, break down her barriers and make sure she didn’t spend the next few months hiding out for fear of coming across as weak.

I wondered if I, too, had a little bit of that in me - if maybe I should have been focused in on myself a little more, and not quite so much on making sure all of my party friends didn’t have to think about anything serious for more than five minutes.

I was surprised at how pissed at them I found myself - these were the people, the little cluster of men and women, who kept me buoyant when times were hard - well, at least, they fed me shots until I was passed out and we called it a good time.

There was a little nagging voice at the back of my head, one that sounded a lot like Dad’s, that told me I should have dumped those people ages ago, but I wasn’t ready for that yet, no matter how right I knew he was.

I arrived at Mom’s house, knocked on the door, and leaned up against the frame as I waited for her to answer. To my surprise, someone else opened the door.