Chapter 3
I start class today. I have a new professor this year since Dr. Michaels finally retired last spring. I’ve been waiting for the registrar to change the teacher’s name from TBD to his or her actual name. I open my schedule and quickly scan through until I reach my Modern Literature class. Well, shit. Looks like I’ll be meeting Dr. Miller in a few days. I groan a little because I’ve heard about Miller. He’s that professor that seems to sleep with a new co-ed every other month.
Oh, well. I’m not that worried about it. I haven’t been in a relationship since sophomore year. I try to shove the memory aside but it nags me every now and then. My ex-boyfriend is a major douchebag. His name is Jeremy and the name still nauseates me nearly two years later. I’ve always been a confident and strong person but he turned my world around. He convinced me that I wasn’t worth anything; those thoughts still haunt me from time to time.
CeCe comes upstairs with wet hair and pours herself a cup of coffee. I know better than to speak to her until she’s had at least two cups. If it hadn’t been for CeCe, I would be in a very different place. She was the one who finally snapped me out of the fear and doubt I’d let myself be thrust into.
I’ll never forget the day she walked in on Jeremy showing his true colors. I was beaten and bloody. He had gotten tired of my smart mouth and refusals to sleep with him. I’m not a prude. I’ve just never been interested in having sex with someone I don’t love. CeCe freaked out. She beat the living daylights out of him. It took four people to get her off him. He got expelled and spent some time in jail but the idea that he’s out there somewhere doing that to someone else still haunts me.
“You ready, chica?” CeCe pulls me out of my own mind.
“Did you see who we have for Modern Literature?”
She shakes her head as she pours coffee into her travel mug.
“Miller.”
“Oh great, that’s fantastic. Try not to draw attention to yourself okay?”
I roll my eyes at her. We lock the door behind us and rush down the street towards campus. When we finally reach the classroom, we struggle to find a place to sit in the packed lecture hall. One of the students is talking to Dr. Miller, so I follow CeCe towards the stairs. I glance over at the desk from a different vantage point and manage to trip on something. I hit the floor in an embarrassing heap. CeCe groans and slaps her forehead.
Hands grip my waist and help me steady myself as I struggle to rise to my feet. This is one of the few times I’m actually mortified by my own clumsiness. I turn to thank my rescuer and find myself face to face with Isaac. In a button up shirt and tie, he looks even hotter than he has every time I’ve seen him in the coffee shop. It takes me a moment to realize why he’s here.
“Fuck!” I didn’t mean to say that out loud.
A look crosses his face that I can almost read. I don’t know what to think. Did he know I was a student? Get a grip, Liv. It’s not like you did anything with the guy. It was just a stupid crush, and now it’s over because it has to be. I clear my throat and step away from him. I manage to make it to my seat without causing any further commotion.
The class passes quickly because I am thinking of a million different ways this could have turned out very differently. I’m trying to push thoughts of his sexiness out of my mind, but it’s nearly impossible. His laugh still causes the butterflies to flutter in my belly. I can’t believe I almost became the flavor of the week for him.
CeCe has to rush out of class to make it across campus for her next class so when class ends she bolts, leaving me to figure out how to handle the predicament I find myself in. Should I just pretend like it’s no big deal? Should I talk to him? What the hell is wrong with me? I need to go into avoidance mode.
Before I can leave the room, he calls my name. I wait patiently for him to start talking, but he doesn’t. He waits until the classroom is clear.
“Can I walk you home again?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Olivia, I had no idea you were my student. It will be awkward if we’re neighbors and can’t be friendly. Especially when you consider that we’ll both be walking home now.”
I eye him suspiciously. This is a terrible idea but my mouth has a mind of its own, “Yeah, okay.”
We walk in awkward silence until we pass the Daily Grind. I notice him grin and glance at me. Nope. Not gonna happen Miller. I am not going to be the slut who shtoops her teacher. He stops at my steps and seems to struggle with what he wants to say next.
“I have something I’d like to give you.”
Oh, lord. Could he be any more obvious? Is this what he does to get girls to sleep with him? I wait for him to continue.
“I have a first edition of Jane Eyre that I’d like for you to accept as a token of friendship and mutual respect for classical literature. Please, come over and I’ll give it to you.”
Yeah, you’ll give it to me alright, you horndog. Again, my mouth betrays me, “Sure. Lead the way.”
That bitch.
When I get in his house I am instantly drawn to the bookshelf filled with old books. I bet he doesn’t have many girls come here who would rather smell the books than canoodle on the couch.
“Wow. Look at all these first editions! You have quite the collection.”
“Thank you. I love to read and it’s become a hobby of mine to hunt down rare first editions.”
I scan the shelves for titles I don’t recognize because it’s fun for me to find new books. We chat for a while before I look at the clock. I can hardly believe it’s already well past noon.
“Would you like to join me for lunch?” Isaac asks.
I tell him I’d better head home to finish unpacking. He leads me to the door. My arms decide to try what my mouth has been getting away with. I lean into give him a quick hug. I have no idea why I did it. Call me socially awkward. My right arm is wrapped around his shoulder blade until my hand was gripping the opposite collar bone. His arms had gone to the only comfortable position, around my waist.
I start to step away but he holds me firmly in place. The look in his eyes isn’t hard to read and my whole body responds against my will. He leans in and I can smell the intoxicating scent of his cologne. Time is standing still as the pressure of his hands on my hips increases ever so slightly, willing me to come closer. I stare at his lips and think about how they would feel pressed against mine.
“I never do this I swear.” Liar.
His mouth is on mine and I’m pressed against his body. I can feel the cautious urgency in his kiss and I’m acutely aware of how crazy this is. I lose myself in the taste of him and he lets out a low moan as I melt against him. His hands are working their way through my hair and I love it. I hardly know this man and no matter how attractive I find him, I have to put an end to this. I gently work my hands up to his chest and give a small push. He ends our kiss abruptly and looks mortified.
“Oh my god. I am so sorry. I am so embarrassed. I don’t know what’s come over me.”
I can’t speak because I’m still so out of breath, but I can’t let him think I stopped him because I don’t want him. I take a deep breath and it’s my turn to stop him from leaving.
“Isaac, that was. . .”
“Totally inappropriate and forward. I mean, I only just worked up the courage to speak to you the other day, then I find out your my student, and here I am forcing myself on you. I swear when I invited you in this was not what I had in mind. I don’t blame you if you never want to see me again.”
“Isaac. Stop,” but he keeps going.
“God, you must think I’m some kind of pervert. I’m at least fifteen years older than you. I’m a creepy old man. I’m a fucking pedophi—“
I close the distance between us in a millisecond and crush my lips to his. The passion is intense and I don’t know where it came from. I give into a desire I’ve felt for months and wrap my fingers in the silver crested waves of his hair. I end the kiss quickly, I only wanted to make him stop talking. He is looking at me in wonder and I know my face mirrors his.
“I need to go. I’m so sorry. I have to go,” I say as I rush out the door.
I have no idea what I was thinking. My head is reeling as I get inside my apartment and close the door behind me. I am not going to become another notch in his bed post.