Chapter 4
I pass the day watching Netflix and reading. When I’ve had my fill of junk food and the Winchester brothers, I turn off the TV and go to bed. While lying in bed my encounter with Isaac keeps playing over and over again in my mind. Kissing him was beyond my wildest dreams. The last thing I think of as I fall asleep is what he must think of me.
When I wake in the morning, I feel sick to my stomach. What was I thinking? I jump out of bed and into the shower. When I finish I put mousse in my hair and scrunch it with my fingers. I quickly dress and head to the Daily Grind. Maybe by some miracle, Isaac will be there and we can talk about boundaries.
I walk down the street and turn at the corner. When I get to the doo,r I breeze in and head to the counter. I order the usual and try not to look around as I hold on to the tiny glimmer of hope that Isaac is here. When I get my coffee, I turn to head to my table and discover it’s taken.
“Good morning,” Isaac gives me a shy smile.
I can’t help but grin, “Good morning.”
“Care to join me?”
I sit across from him and continue grinning like an idiot. I nervously take a sip of my coffee. I don’t know what to say to him. I’m an idiot. I’m a fly drawn to a fly trap.
“I’m so sorry for yesterday, Liv.”
“I’m not,” I say quietly.
“It didn’t seem like it when you booked it out of my house.”
“Well, I’m a bit confused. I don’t know what to do. I mean, we’re not exactly suited for each other. And, I don’t really have an interest in starting anything with anyone.”
“Oh,” he leans back in surprise.
“I haven’t had the time or found anyone of interest to me.”
“Oh,” he leans forward again, his tone interested.
“It sort of surprised me,” I tell him.
“Me too, trust me. I’ve not even given someone a second look since my wife died.”
“Okay, we both know that’s not true. You have quite the reputation.”
He sighs, “An ill-deserved reputation. I’m afraid I’ve become a bit of an urban legend.”
I don’t know what he’s talking about but I feel the truth in his words, “Are you going to explain yourself or do I have to pry it out of you?”
“A few years ago I had a student who took more interest in me than I knew. Call me an idiot but I didn’t realize that her requests for late night tutoring sessions and constant revisions on her papers were the result of anything but academic effort. She made an advance on me and I emphatically turned her down. She didn’t take it well.”
“But there have been a lot of stories about you sleeping with students.”
“I know. Thankfully the academic board has known me for years and knows all those stories are completely false.”
I slowly take another drink of my coffee. My eyes travel to his sensuous lips and I can’t help but think about kissing them again. I feel a blush creep into my cheeks. I clear my throat and try to think about something else. The attraction between us is so strong and I want to know more about him.
“What’s your favorite movie?” My question catches him off-guard.
“Dirty Dancing.”
His answer surprises me and I giggle, “Really?”
“Yeah, I always wanted to be as smooth as Swayze. Women went crazy for him.”
“I think you could give Swayze a run for his money.”
“I can’t dance.”
“What a shame,” I laugh as I finish my coffee.
“What’s your favorite movie?”
“While You Were Sleeping. You don’t happen to have a hotter brother I may fall for do you?”
“Only child. You?”
“Middle child. I have an older brother, Miles, and a younger sister, Ava. What about your parents?”
“My dad’s a retired sheriff, my mom has been a homemaker for my whole life. Yours?”
“My dad is an attorney and my mom is a doctor.”
“Do you want to have lunch with me?”
“Yes.”
We spend the rest of the day together. When he walks me home he takes my hand and pulls me in for a kiss. A warm feeling unravels in my belly as I accept his tender kiss. This kiss is different than our passionate kiss from the day before. He gently presses his lips to mine and an electric current bursts through me. His hands are on my waist, mine are tangled in his hair again.
He gently ends the kiss and strokes my cheek.
“You take my breath away,” he whispers.
“The feeling is mutual.”
He kisses me one more time before I dreamily walk up the steps. Once I’m inside I peek outside and see that he’s standing there smiling at my door. I grin and prance my way to the kitchen. I grab a bottle of water and take a quick swig. CeCe comes upstairs from the basement and stops short when she sees me.
“Where the hell have you been all day?”
“I spent the day with the hot guy from the coffee shop.”
“Shut the front door!”
CeCe arches an eyebrow. I launch into the story from the first conversation to the kiss we shared on our steps. She’s got a pleased look on her face like a cat that’s just dropped a mouse at her master’s feet.
“First of all, good girl for finally talking to the guy, I was starting to wonder if you were going to become a stalker. Next, why did you run out on him yesterday?”
“I don’t know. I think it freaked me out because it seemed so fast. I’d hardly talked to the guy and I suddenly found myself kissing him and it was incredible.”
“Wait, you’re telling me he lives next door and you’re sitting here talking to me?”
“Yes. Is that a problem?”
“Uh, yeah. Why the hell are you standing here talking to me when you could be over there?”
“I’m not in a big hurry,” I tell her even though I know I’m lying to myself. I would love nothing more than to go over to his house but the idea of taking this relationship any further than it’s already gone terrifies me.
“Chica, I know you well enough to know that you’re full of shit. Get your ass over there and get your man.”
I sigh, “Maybe tomorrow.”
CeCe shakes her head at me, “Girl, you are exasperating.”
I laugh at her. She has no idea. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I can’t stop thinking about him. I want to spend time with him. I want to kiss him again.
“Oh fine! You win,” I say as I grab my cell phone and purse.
I can hear CeCe laughing behind me as I close the door and carelessly take the stairs two at a time. I take a deep breath before knocking on his door. He answers a moment later. My eyes meet his and the attraction I feel is clearly reflected there. Isaac takes a step back to allow me to enter his home. When the door closes behind us, I turn and grin at him.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
In the blink of an eye, he pulls me into his arms again and crushes me against the wall. I reach down and pull at his t-shirt; he’s staring into my eyes as I take it off. We slam against the wall and he lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist. This is insane and intense. He moans into my mouth and I relish the feeling of his tongue entwined with mine.
He kisses my jaw line and down my neck. I arch against him involuntarily as his hot breath tickles the area of my chest exposed by my v-neck shirt. His hands trail down my body until he grips my ass and presses my pelvis into his.
“Oh god,” he says as he presses against me again, his excitement is obvious.
I’m so ready to rip his clothes off that it comes as a total let down when he lets go of my ass and pulls away forcing me to stand on my own wobbly feet.
“Good evening to you too,” he says breathlessly.
“How long have you noticed me?” I have to know.
“Since the first day I went to the Daily Grind. I noticed your hair first. It’s so long and it fell in the most provocative way. I was attracted to you from behind and couldn’t believe how much more attractive you became when you turned around. I don’t know much about you but I am desperate to change that.”
He takes a step toward me but this time I stop him. I can’t keep going at it so intensely just to stop again. I don’t do this stuff.
“I kept coming back because you were there,” I tell him.
He laughs, “That’s why I was there every day. I haven’t used my coffee pot in two months.”
“So what is this?” I ask gesturing between us.
“I don’t know yet.”
We stand in the entryway, staring at each other. I don’t know if I’m confused because he’s my teacher or because I have been so guarded since my last relationship ended.
“I’d like to make you dinner.”
“I’d like to order pizza.”
He smiles and offers me his hand. I take it and allow myself to be led into the kitchen. He grabs his phone and presses a button. He orders a pizza and hangs up. He hasn’t taken his eyes off me and I am beyond turned on.
“How long until the pizza gets here?” I ask as I take a step closer to him.
“Forty-five minutes,” he keeps looking between my eyes and lips.
“Good.”
I run my hand along his chest and pull him down to kiss me again. I don’t know what’s come over me, but I want him. He reaches down to pull my shirt off and I let him. I smile coyly at him when he pulls it over my head, he laughs and draws me in for another kiss.
He lifts me onto the kitchen counter and fumbles with the hooks on my bra as he kisses my neck. My breasts are free and he looks completely lost. I wrap my legs around him again and use them to pull him close. We can’t seem to get close enough, so he lifts me again and we head to the oversized couch in the living room. He lays me down and gently crawls on top of me.
The only things keeping us from crossing the next line are the shorts we’re both still wearing. I can tell he would love to go there as much as I would but for now we’re just enjoying the sensation of our hands on each other’s bodies. He slowly pulls away from me and smiles down at me.
“I did not expect for this to happen.”
“Neither did I.”
He leans down to kiss me again and I’m lost. I make a snap decision because this feels right and I want him. I reach up and undo his belt buckle, then his shorts. His eyes snap open when I gently slide my hand under the elastic of his underwear. His pupils dilate as I begin to massage him, then his eyes close again.
“Liv, are you sure you want to do this?” His voice is thick with desire.
I pull him back down to me and kiss him fervently. He groans a little and his hand finds its way to my shorts. I let him unfasten the button and slide the zipper down. Then we’re both wiggling as we remove each other’s bottoms while refusing to stop our kiss. I don’t even stop to ask about protection and he doesn’t seem to be worried.
He pulls himself back slightly to look at my face like he’s looking for a sign that I want him to stop. Seeing none, he lowers himself back down on top of me and I wrap my legs around his waist. My eyes are locked with his as he slowly slides inside me. He waits for a moment to make sure I’m alright with where we are and when I lean up to kiss him again he begins to move.
I lost my virginity in high school in the back of a truck. We’d gone out to watch the stars and ended up giving into our hormones. My boyfriend pulled a condom from his wallet and the whole thing lost its magic. It felt like he had been waiting for it. It wasn’t a moment of passion or love; it was just hormones.
As I lay beneath Isaac, feeling him inside me, I am in awe of how different this is from that first time. We move together and it is full of passion and desire. He’s kissing my neck and drawing my nipple into his mouth. I cry out quietly when he nips at it and flicks it with his tongue. He groans and brings his mouth back to mine. This feels right.
He slows to an achingly deliberate movement and I can feel myself approaching the edge. Our breath is ragged as he takes me over the edge. His eyes get big as my muscles clench him in place. I moan and every muscle in my body locks up. He moves slowly a few more times before he groans and pulls out quickly.
He jumps up and returns with a towel. He gently wipes my skin clean, then wipes himself. I watch him and feel a pull in my groin when I catch a glimpse of his naked full-frontal. He pulls on his boxer briefs and pants and picks up my underwear from the floor with his forefinger and thumb. He hands them to me with a sexy grin and I slide them on. He barely pulls on his shirt when the doorbell rings signaling the arrival of pizza.
While he answers the door, I finish getting my clothes back on. I don’t know what’s going to happen next so I sit on the couch and wait for him to return. He walks in with the box, looking disheveled in the best possible way. He sets the pizza on the coffee table and sits down next to me. He turns and gently takes my hands in his.
“I feel like I have to tell you that this is not the norm for me. I . . . actually haven’t been with anyone since my wife.”
“I don’t do this either. I wasn’t, um, intimate with my boyfriend from a few years ago. The only guy I’ve ever been with was my high school sweetheart.”
“I don’t want this to be a one-time thing.”
I laugh out loud, “Sorry, did you want to do it again now? Because, that pizza smells amazing and I’m starving.”
“No, I mean I’m not a one-night-stand kind of guy. I would much prefer that we get to know each other and pursue a relationship. I understand if that’s not what you want, but I had to put it out there.”
“A secret romance? Dr. Miller, are you trying to make the rumors true?”
He kisses me again, this time it’s soft and gentle, full of possibilities. He pulls back suddenly as a thought seems to occur to him.
“Are you sure our age difference doesn’t bother you?”
I study his face and wonder exactly how old he is. I don’t think he can possibly be older than mid-forties.
“It doesn’t bother me. But, we should just get it out of the way, how old are you?”
“42. You?”
“23.”
“Fuck.”
“It bothers you, doesn’t it?” I say as I feel my heart sink.
“It’s not that it bothers me, it just surprises me. You’re much more mature than your age. I guess I should have guessed as much considering that you’re still in school.”
My stomach growls and he laughs. We dig into the pizza together and finish it before we know it. I can’t help but stare at him. Only yesterday I was admiring him from afar every morning in a coffee shop, now I’ve had unprotected sex with him in his house. What the fuck was I thinking?
I look at the clock and realize we’ve been at it for hours. It’s nearly ten o’clock.
“I’d better get going. It’s a long walk home,” I laugh.
“I’d hate to send you home right after you eat. Maybe you shouldn’t leave yet.”
“Ya know, I heard it’s not good to walk after you eat. I shouldn’t be out much later though, CeCe freaks out if I walk home in the dark, even if it’s next door.”
“It won’t be dark in the morning,” he says softly.
I feel the heat rise in my cheeks and the fire start in my belly. He’s kissing me again and I melt into him. He takes my hand and leads me upstairs. My head is spinning. Even if this doesn’t go anywhere else, I wouldn’t change a thing. We get to his bedroom and he seems to have changed his mind. He heads into the closet, leaving me standing in his room alone. I’m not sure what to think so I go into the doorway to peek inside. There’s another door at the end of the closet so I go inside. The steam pouring in through the other door indicates that it leads to the bathroom. I see he’s left his clothes in a trail on the floor so I do the same.
I walk into the bathroom completely nude. He’s in the oversized shower and he’s left the door slightly open. I take a deep breath and step in.
“Liv!” He says, surprised to see me.
Oh, shit. This was not what he’d intended. He just wanted to clean up. Shit, shit, triple-shit. I am mortified and turn to leave but he catches my arm.
“I’m sorry. I thought you wanted me to join you. Words cannot express how completely embarrassed I am.”
“I was just going to shower then join you in the bedroom. It wasn’t what I had in mind, but this is better,” the hunger in his eyes gives me chills despite the hot water.
He pulls me into his arms and shifts me into the water. The shower head is center mounted so it pours over both of us. My hair is soaked and he’s massaging his shampoo into my scalp. It smells amazing, it feels amazing. I grab the soap and start washing him. When I get to his groin, I discover that he’s really enjoying this. So am I. Isaac is looking at me like he doesn’t know if he can control himself. I press into him and kiss his neck. My lips travel down to his shoulders and chest. He has sparse chest hair and it tickles my lips as I graze them across it.
In an instant I’m against the shower wall. The air is momentarily knocked out of me but I don’t care. He lifts me and I wrap my legs around him as he lowers me onto him. I’ve never done anything like this and I’m surprised by the sensation. He’s deeper and bigger than he seemed on the couch. He seems pleased by the depth. We’re less gentle this time. He’s got me against the wall and I move up and down with his thrusts. I cry out in pleasure as he picks up the pace.
“Liv,” Isaac says my name in a moan and claims my mouth.
The rhythm increases as we both reach climax. I notice that this time, he doesn’t pull out. Something about that makes my orgasm more intense and a cry rips out of me at the intensity of the moment.
“I’m so sorry,” he says as he realizes what he did.
“It’s alright. I have an IUD. I’ve had one for a few years, no interest in having kids anytime soon. But, we better get some condoms if this isn’t going to be a one-time-thing,” I laugh.
We both finish showering without further complications then we head to the bedroom. We lay down on the bed and he holds me in his arms. This is somehow more intimate than sex. He is softly running his fingers up and down my back as I lay with my arm comfortably wrapped around his waist.
“Tell me about your wife.”
He clears his throat as though this subject surprises him, “We married young. Right out of high school. She was my first love. We went to college together and started to build our life. She was beautiful. She had deep brown eyes and hair that was almost black. I loved her.”
“What happened?”
“She was working late one night and it was snowing. Her car went off the road and she was killed when it struck a tree.”
I shift so I can see his face, “I’m so sorry.”
“It was a long time ago. I never looked at another woman like that and I refused to take off my wedding ring. I was still completely committed to her.”
“You don’t wear a ring now.”
“No,” he looks intently into my eyes, “I took it off about two months ago. I remember the day well.”
“What made you do that?”
Isaac is quiet for a moment as though he’s trying to decide if he should tell me something. That’s when I realize I’m the reason he took it off.
“I’ve been watching you quietly for a few months; there’s just something about the way you sit on your own reading books that makes you special. It was obvious to me that you didn’t have the patience for that annoying barista and I loved watching the facial expressions you made when she flirted with me.”
“She’s annoying.”
“I agree. But, I started to take more notice of you when some guy came up and tried to flirt with you. At first, I’d thought I was just coming back to the Daily Grind for the coffee and the atmosphere. It hadn’t clicked with me that I was intrigued by you until that day. The kid looked like he hadn’t showered in a month and he sounded like one of those kids who’s always high.”
“I remember him! He did not want to give up,” I laugh.
“Well, I was getting annoyed with the way he pushed you and almost intervened. You put him in his place before I had to do anything. The jealousy I felt then told me I was finally ready to let Ellen go.”
“I can’t believe it took you so long to talk to me.”
“Your age stopped me. I didn’t want to come across as the creepy guy. I could be your dad.”
“But you’re not.”
“No, thank god for that.”
I lean forward and place a kiss on his cheek, “So here we are.”
His smile makes me feel warm all over, “Yes, here we are. And I don’t want to sound like I’m unhappy about it, but how did we get here? You don’t seem like the type to rush into a relationship.”
“I’ve been watching you too. At first it was just your cologne and the way you say caramel.”
“Caramel?”
I laugh, “Yes, it’s fucking hot.”
“Caramel,” he whispers.
“Oh, don’t do that to me unless you’re ready for round three.”
Now it’s his turn to laugh. He kisses my nose and I kiss his chin. It amazes me how comfortable we are together.
“I loved that you didn’t notice when the barista flirted with you. You just ordered your coffee and went about your business. You have no idea how hot you are.”
“I’m hot, huh? I don’t think anyone has ever described me that way.”
“I think you’d be surprised.”
“Can I make you breakfast tomorrow morning?”
“I like eggs. Scrambled. With cheese.”
“You got it.”
Isaac gets up and tosses me a t-shirt then pulls on a pair of shorts. He climbs back into bed and pulls me close. I snuggle in and fall asleep within moments.