Chapter 9
The early November chill is bearable only because of the gorgeous oranges and reds that still cling to the trees. I’m on my way back home from class when I hear someone call my name.
“Miss Hanover!”
I turn to see Dean Price briskly walking towards me. My stomach leaps to my throat. I haven’t been with Isaac in a while. What could he possibly want? He’s a tall man with white hair. He was probably attractive years ago, but now he relies on his position and confidence to attract people to him.
“Dean Price?”
“Good morning, how are you doing this fine day?”
“Chilly. Did you need something?”
He’s holding something in his hands that appears to have a ribbon tied around it. When he gets closer, I see that it’s a book.
“Olivia, may I call you Olivia?” He doesn’t pause for confirmation, “I couldn’t help but notice that you enjoy classic literature.”
Oh, for the love of all that’s holy where is this going?
“I’ve come across this beautifully bound copy of The Complete Works of Shakespeare and I thought you’d appreciate its beauty as much as I do.”
I stare at him blankly for a millisecond. This has to be some kind of cruel joke. What the hell is in the water around here? When I don’t respond, he keeps talking.
“It may seem a little forward, but I’d love to take you for coffee and talk about the common themes throughout the plays within this book.”
Ugh. No. The common theme is ill-fated romance and I’ve already had enough of that, thank you very much. He’s starting to get nervous at my lack of response so he starts talking again.
“Olivia, I don’t usually do this but I just haven’t been able to get you out of my—“
“Nope!” The word flies out of my mouth before I can stop myself, “Just, no. I mean seriously?”
His mouth drops open and he stumbles through an incoherent sentence. I hold my hand up to stop him.
“Look, I’m just going to walk away and pretend this conversation didn’t happen.”
I turn to walk away but decide to do one more thing. I take the book from him. I might as well return it to Isaac. I shake my head and try to focus on the scenery my walk provides. Isaac gave the dean that book because he wanted to woo the woman he wants. Apparently, it’s me. What in the world? I am beyond irritated and just want to go lock myself in my room until the end of senior year. I could become a recluse.
I go straight to Isaac’s front door. I only have to knock once before he opens up. I register the look of surprise on his face. I am not here for a social call so I thrust the book into his hands.
“Here, this belongs to you.”
He looks down at the book, “Where did you get this? Oh, my god!”
“Yeah, I don’t want to talk about it and I’d prefer not to think about it ever again. Looks like you guys should start a club.”
“Liv, you know it’s not like that.”
“You keep telling yourself that. How’s Cassie by the way?”
“Olivia, please stop. I wish you’d talk to me about all this.”
“Talking isn’t going to change anything. If you’re looking for a girl who doesn’t mind being your student and your lover, then I am not it.”
I angrily head back to my apartment and close the door. CeCe is sitting on the couch, she pauses her show as soon as she sees me. I sit down next to her and tell her all about my day.
“Girl, you attract some real winners.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Here’s what we need to do, we need to make cookies and drink wine.”
I gratefully laugh at her random suggestion, “Okay, I’ll make the cookies, you grab the wine.”
CeCe has helped me cope with so many ridiculous things that I can’t help but feel as though she should have been a counselor. The problem is, she’s too blunt. I can picture her telling people to get over it and stop being stupid.
We spend the next few weeks going through our regular routine. I do everything I can to avoid seeing Dean Price and spending any time alone with Isaac. By the time Thanksgiving break arrives, CeCe and I are ready to get out of the city.
Despite my parents living only about 50 miles away in Gurnee, it takes us almost four hours to get out of the city and into the suburbs. Everyone is travelling for the holiday weekend. We make it to my house and my parents greet us at the door.
“Olivia! CeCe! Welcome home!” My mom pulls us both into a tight hug.
My sixteen-year-old sister barrels past my mom and attacks me. Ava hates being the only child left at home. My parents spaced us out perfectly. They didn’t want any of us in diapers at the same time and wanted to spend time getting to know each of us before adding another child to the house. It may seem weird, but it worked out well growing up.
Our older brother Miles is twenty-eight and has been interning at my dad’s law firm. He’s waiting in the living room when we finally make it in the house. He hugs me and kisses the top of my head the way he used to when I was little. He gives CeCe a quick squeeze. Despite the fact that Miles seems to have a new girlfriend every other week, I suspect he’s harboring a crush for CeCe. I wink at him and he scowls back at me.
Thanksgiving weekend is the perfect bridge to get us through the rest of the semester. My parents are eager to know what CeCe and I have planned for post-college life. Neither of us has decided if we’re done or if we want to go on to graduate school. CeCe has been thinking about diving into the legal world. I have no interest in following in either parents’ footsteps. I want to do something with books, either publishing or writing. Maybe both.
I try to hold on to the warm and safe feeling that comes from being with my family as we head back to school. CeCe tries to keep my spirits up by reminding me that we’re almost done with this semester. While I’m relieved to only have one semester remaining before finishing my degree, I also know that being done with this semester means I won’t see Isaac as often.
I know that sounds dumb because I need to stop falling into the delusion that there could be a future for us. No matter how many times I tell myself it’s over, I can’t quite throw away the key to the lock I put on the part of my heart that Isaac holds. I keep falling further and further down the rabbit hole with no hope of escape. Sometimes I’m okay with it and other times I want to slap myself silly.
The snow begins to fly shortly after we get back from Thanksgiving break. Making it through the rest of the semester is easier to bear than I thought it would be. I’m too busy with coursework to think about anything other than the next assignment due date. I’m spared the discomfort of another one-on-one conversation with Isaac. He seems to be avoiding me. I guess I should be happy about that.
I love Chicago at Christmastime. No matter how much snow we get, it doesn’t keep people from shopping. I love going to Christkindlmarkt, the atmosphere is festive and people come from all over to join in. Most people mull in and out of the stores on Michigan Avenue. Which is why I’m not sure how I let CeCe convince me to spend the day shopping with her. I’ve already had all my gifts purchased, wrapped and placed under the Christmas tree for at least a week but CeCe is notorious for last-minute shopping.
“What should I get your parents?”
“Well, dad is always asking for me to buy him a jet, so you could become his favorite if you made that dream come true.”
CeCe rolls her eyes at me, “Yeah, I could write a check for that.”
I hear a ridiculous giggle behind me and can’t help but search for the source. Cassie Peters. This girl gets under my skin in ways I can’t describe. It’s not even really her fault, but everything about her pisses me off. She’s shopping with a friend in the men’s section. She notices me and waves. Crap.
Before I know it Cassie is standing in front of me with rosy cheeks, “Liv! How are you? Are you getting super excited for the end of the term?”
“You have no idea,” I reply dryly, “Doing some last minute shopping?”
Her cheeks redden again, “Oh, I was just picking something out for Isaac, I mean Dr. Miller.”
I glance at her hand. She’s holding a pair of silky boxers. Seriously? Ugh, he prefers boxer briefs. Not that I’m going to tell her that. What the hell is she buying him underwear for? I want to puke.
“Um, are those for him?” CeCe demands behind me.
“What? These? Oh, it was going to be a joke. Do you think he’d find it funny?”
I roll my eyes so hard I swear I can see the inside of my skull. Is she really this stupid or does she know about us and enjoy torturing me?
“You’re kidding, right? Are you dense? Were you dropped on your head as a baby? In what world do you think it would be funny or even appropriate to give your professor a pair of sexy boxers?” CeCe to the rescue.
“Well, I’m sure you heard that I’m his assistant now. You don’t know the kind of friendship we’ve built. I think he would like them. He’d see the humor in it.”
“I’m sure he’ll get a good laugh when he thinks about how you’re a tasteless slut,” CeCe is on a roll.
“Anyway, good luck finding something. I might suggest something like a sweater or a tie. He looks good in gray. See you later Cassie,” I say hurriedly as I guide my best friend away.
When we’re out of earshot I start laughing uncontrollably, “Okay, first of all, that was brilliant. Second of all, reel it in mama bear I can handle this.”
CeCe eyes me suspiciously, “You can’t stand that girl and you know it. Plus, she’s trying to steal your man.”
“He’s not my—“
“Listen up, I’m gonna give you a dose of reality that’s way overdue. You are head over heels in love with that man. You may not want to admit it, but it is what it is. That bitch is trying to dig her claws into the man my best friend loves. I’m not interested in sparing that bitch’s feelings.”
I don’t know what to say to her. I’m in love with him? That can’t be right. Really? Well, let’s think about this; I can’t stop thinking of him, it’s been a few months and I’m still not over him, I make up excuses to talk to him. My eyes grow wide and CeCe laughs.
“Welcome aboard. I swear you’re the only person who would have to be told when they’re in love with someone.”
“It’s not like it matters anyway. He hasn’t spoken to me in a month, not even in class.”
“Maybe you should tell him. You’ve been so busy putting up this front to avoid your feelings that he probably thinks you hate his guts.”
CeCe’s right. I need to take a chance and at least tell him how I feel. I have to turn in my final paper at the end of the week. I’ll talk to him then.