Joss
The hallways on the OB floor were like busy highways: people moved steadily in two directions, occasionally passing. The congestion was unusual—we’d all agreed that there’d apparently been some sort of storm exactly nine months ago that had led to an unusual number of pregnancies.
I was working a day shift after a night shift for the second day in a row. With the influx of patients, I’d had no choice but to stay over. I needed a shower, and I was starving. But there was barely even time to pee, let alone eat.
A nurse called out to me from the other side of the hallway. “Dr. Drake, 3302 is asking for you. She wants pain meds.”
I scooted out of the flow of traffic on my side of the hallway and joined the other side, making my way back toward the room I’d just been in ten minutes ago.
My patient was sobbing when I walked into the room. The man holding her as she leaned over the side of the bed to cry on his chest gave me a desperate look.
“Hey, Gina,” I said, walking over to the bed. “How are you?”
She looked up, her cheeks wet with tears. “I’m sorry. I know I said no drugs, but this is so much worse than I expected.”
“It’s okay.” I smiled at her from the end of the bed. “Don’t apologize for not wanting to be in excruciating pain.”
“But will the drugs hurt the baby?”
“No. What I’m going to give you is completely safe.”
Gina moaned as a contraction started hitting. “Oh no. No, no, no.”
“It’s okay, babe,” the man with her said. “Squeeze my hand.”
She glared at him and moaned louder.
“I’ll go get something for you,” I said.
As I left the room, I heard the man make a moaning sound himself as Gina apparently squeezed his hand, and I couldn’t help smiling. I so wanted that to be me one day, finding my way through the pain of childbirth with a man I adored at my side.
I couldn’t imagine that being anyone but Carson. I missed him more with each passing day, and I regretted my lie about the flowers more each time I remembered it.
Why had I done that? It was so unlike me. I was honest to a fault. But just the thought of increased tension with Carson had made me tell a lie that felt harmless.
The hurt I’d seen in his eyes still tore at me. I was supposed to be the one person who never betrayed him. I knew how I’d feel if he lied to me, even about something small.
I unlocked the small room where medicine was stored and stepped in, closing the door behind me. My phone buzzed in my pocket with a text, and I grabbed it as I scanned the shelves.
Carson: Are you okay? I waited in the parking lot, but you never came out this morning.
My heart raced from the moment I saw his name. He’d waited for me. He was worried about me. He still cared. I wrote back.
Me: I had to work overtime. We’re swamped. I miss you, and I’m so sorry.
I looked at the screen until his next text appeared, my pulse pounding with anxious hope. Had he been waiting for me to officially end things or to try to work things out?
Carson: I’m sorry, too. Can we get together soon to talk?
Me: Talk about working things out?
Carson: Yeah. If I made you think I wanted anything but that, I’m sorry.
Tears flooded my eyes, and I exhaled with relief.
Me: I can come over when I get out of here. Should be around 4.
Carson: Don’t you need to sleep? You worked last night, too.
Me: I want to see you. I’m off tonight. I can sleep then.
Carson: I love you, Joss. No argument will change that.
The tears slid from the corners of my eyes down my cheeks, and I smiled.
Me: I love you, too. I’m so glad you texted me. I have to go.
Carson: See you soon. Love you.
I slid my phone back into my coat pocket and wiped my cheeks, taking a deep breath. We were going to be okay. Even though we still needed to talk things out, we were going to be okay.
Grabbing the medicine I needed and walking from the room, I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders.
By 2:00 p.m., things had finally slowed down, and I was able to take a break and go to the cafeteria and eat. The second I walked in, my stomach growled in response to the savory scent of grilled chicken.
I was so hungry I wanted to order one of everything, but I settled for a grilled chicken burrito, iced tea, and a brownie. I’d just sat down and unrolled my silverware from its napkin wrapping when a figure approached the other side of my table.
When I looked up from my seat, I met Amanda’s narrowed eyes. She was standing across from me, her crossed arms resting on her very pregnant belly.
“I bet you’re loving this,” she said in a bitter tone.
I could either put a bite of food in my mouth or respond. I was really hungry, so the burrito won. I lowered my brows in confusion as I chewed, then wiped my mouth off.
“Don’t play dumb with me.” She narrowed her eyes farther. “The whole hospital knows you and Dean are back together. He’s sending you flowers and cookies while I work extra shifts to buy nursery furniture and mow my own grass while I’m seven months pregnant.”
The emotion in her voice made my heart sink. There was anger, sure, but more than that—hurt. Some people would say she deserved what she’d gotten. I wasn’t one of them. No woman deserved this.
“Amanda, I swear to you, we are not back together. Not in any way. I’m with Carson.”
She shook her head. “Bullshit. Why’s Dean sending you flowers, then?”
I didn’t want to hurt her further, but I knew honesty was my only option from here forward. “He has told me he’s interested in getting back together with me, but I’m not.”
“You’re loving this, though, aren’t you? Banging the hot garbage man while Dean grovels to get you back, and meanwhile I have nothing?”
I was letting the “garbage man” comment pass. “You don’t have nothing, Amanda. You have friends who love you and your baby.”
“That’s right. I’m the one having his baby, not you. He may want you now because I’m huge and exhausted, but once he sees our baby, he’ll be right back with me.”
I set my fork down and gave her an incredulous look. “How can you still want him? Why?”
“Because I love him.” Her lower lip trembled, and I felt incredibly sorry for her.
“Dean doesn’t deserve you, Amanda.”
She leaned closer to my table. “I’m sure you want me to think that so you can have him. Have you dumped the garbage man already?”
“First of all, Carson is not a garbage man.”
“Whatever. The maintenance guys are all the same to me.”
Her disdainful tone eroded my patience, and I returned her glare.
“Look, I’m at the end of a double, and I haven’t eaten in a really long time. I’m not with Dean, at all, and I never will be again. He’s an asshole, and it’s better you figure that out now than later. I’m with Carson. I just want to eat in peace right now. Is there anything else?”
“Everyone’s watching. Just remember that. It’s not a game, Joss.” Her voice wavered with emotion. “I’m pregnant with his child.”
How ironic that Amanda would be warning me against running around with Dean, when she’d done that exact thing herself.
“People can watch all they want,” I said, picking my fork back up. “I wouldn’t touch Dean if he was the last man on earth.”
She held my gaze for a few seconds before turning and stomping off. I felt a stab of remorse as I watched her go. She had no business mowing and working extra shifts just a few weeks from her due date. From the looks of her, she had about six weeks to go in her pregnancy. And like many women do in their first pregnancy, she was gaining more weight as she went. Probably from the stress she was under.
She shouldn’t be doing it alone. If Dean wasn’t man enough to take care of her right now, someone should. Hell, I’d mow her grass.
I needed to talk to Carson about all this. His decision to finally make up with me couldn’t have come at a better time. I should have been tired, but the food was giving me a boost, as was the thought of Carson’s arms around me again.
Someday, I hoped Amanda would figure out what I already had—that there were better men out there than Dean. The tables had turned, but I didn’t relish it one bit.