Carson
We fell into a comfortable routine over the course of the next month. There weren’t many days we didn’t spend together when we weren’t working.
When I’d seen the beautiful blonde with a radiant smile in the hospital cafeteria before formally meeting Joss, I’d assumed she was very social. Why wouldn’t she be? She looked like the kind of person everyone wanted to be around: warm, friendly, and sweet.
I’d been wrong about her, though. Joss was like me—more comfortable in a one-on-one setting or with just a couple of friends. She didn’t like the pressure of big social gatherings.
That worked perfectly for me. My favorite day of the week was Sunday, when we would usually stay in at her place all day. After morning sex, we’d either watch movies or she’d sit on the couch and read while I watched a game on TV and rubbed her feet. Often we’d end up back in bed for an afternoon nap.
Those naps did me good, because sleep was only coming in spurts for me lately. Though I was more content than ever, my nightmares seemed to be getting worse. I accepted that the horrors of war would always be with me, but Joss worried about me, and for that reason, I wanted to sleep like a normal person.
I was at the firing range this morning, taking out my frustration on the targets.
“You killed that fucker about twenty times over,” another guy at the range said from several feet away.
Nodding, I reloaded and got back to it. I hadn’t come here to make chitchat.
Memories of shooting at living targets were still very fresh in my mind. Killing people messed with a person’s mind. Whether you knew you had to do it or not, whether they were about to kill you or not—the reality of pulling the trigger and ending a life was sobering.
One of my buddies had reminded me often that over there, there was no such thing as right or wrong. There was only dead or alive.
I’d come home in one piece, which made me better off than many of the men and women I’d served with. Still, the adjustment to civilian life had been tough for me, and at times it still was.
I couldn’t make small talk. When someone at the hospital tried to start a conversation about their shitty day or their asshole boss, I just couldn’t bring myself to care.
There were people out there with real problems. Hell, there were people without jobs who would give anything for a boss who made them work late.
I’d been shooting at targets for nearly an hour when fatigue finally hit. After work this morning, I’d taken Joss out for breakfast and then dropped her off at her place and come here. I felt a powerful pull to go climb in bed with her and get some rest.
I drove straight to her place and used my key to get in. She was in bed when I walked into the bedroom, but not asleep. Instead, she was reading and twirling a lock of hair around the end of her finger. That was something she only did while reading.
“Hey,” she said, yawning. “How was the range?”
“Good.” I undressed and tossed my clothes into a heap in the corner. “How’s the book?”
“Not as good as real life.” She smiled sweetly and looked me over from head to toe.
“Hold that thought while I get a shower.”
“You got anything else you need me to hold?”
I smiled. “Always, baby. Just give me a minute.”
The water at her place took a long time to get hot, so I took a quick, lukewarm shower and went back into the bedroom.
“You okay?” she asked when she saw me. “You look really tired.”
“I haven’t been sleeping so great,” I said, getting in bed beside her. “Guess you already know that, though.”
“Yeah.” She reached over and cupped my cheek. “And the nightmares probably make you not even want to sleep.”
“Pretty much.”
“Have you thought about sleeping medication?”
I chuckled lightly. “My sleeping medication in Iraq was vodka.”
“Let’s not go that direction,” she said, sounding amused. “Especially since we go to bed at nine a.m.”
“I don’t know. I guess I could try it.”
“You know, if you ever want to talk about the nightmares, you can talk to me. Wake me up when they happen. Just talking through it might help more than you think.”
I sighed heavily. “I hate talking about it. I just want to forget a lot of it.”
“It’s not always that simple. It’s in your subconscious, or you wouldn’t be dreaming about it.”
“I guess so. It’s not bad enough what we have to see and do over there; we have to live with all of it after we get home, too. Pretty fucked up.”
“I’m always here, okay?” She leaned closer and kissed me, making the mmm noise that would stiffen my dick even if we were in the freezer at a morgue.
“I don’t deserve you, Joss,” I said against her lips, running my hand over her hair.
“Don’t say that. You’re amazing.” She gently brushed her cheek against mine. “You know how I love it when you don’t shave.”
I eased her onto her back and climbed on top of her, my elbows resting on either side of her head.
“If the volume of your moans a few days ago was any indication, what you really love is the way my face feels on your inner thighs when I haven’t shaved.”
She made the mmm sound again as my erection pressed against her.
“I do love that.”
“Are you wearing those tiny panties I like?”
There was a moment of silence. “I’m actually not wearing any.”
“Even better.” I got up on my knees and pushed up her silky, sleeveless nightgown.
Fuck yes. Her pussy was completely bare. I raised the gown all the way up past her breasts, rubbing my hard cock as I looked her over.
Her skin was smooth, soft, and fair. Her pink nipples were stiff, her breasts rising and falling as she breathed.
“You’re fucking perfect,” I said in a low tone.
I bent down and kissed her stomach, then moved lower, nipping at her inner thighs and easing the sting with gentle strokes of my tongue.
There was nothing I loved like teasing her a little. She moaned and writhed and twisted her fingers into my hair as I breathed on her skin. As soon as I put my tongue inside her, she pulled my hair and arched her back, moaning my name.
I’d gotten to know her body well. She liked my mouth and my fingers at the same time. Everything but her was forgotten as I worked my fingers in and out of her and swirled my tongue over her clit.
“Oh God,” she cried. “Carson . . .”
She was close. It only took a few more seconds for her to grind against my face and come, the waves hard and fast.
“That was fantas—”
Her sentence was interrupted when I grabbed her hips and flipped her over. She got to her knees as I pushed down the boxer briefs I’d put on after my shower.
We groaned in unison as I slammed inside her. She was tight and wet—complete perfection.
I took out my frustration with the nightmares, pumping my hips hard while I kept my hands locked around her waist. My skin slapped against her ass loudly.
“Fuck,” I managed to ground out. “You’re pushing that ass out for more, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” Her voice was a breathy moan. “Harder, please.”
Shit. It was hard to hold on when she had her ass in the air and was begging for more.
But who was I to deny her? I gave it to her harder, and she reached out to brace her hand on the bed’s headboard. The bedsprings were creaking, and the headboard was bouncing against the wall in time to the thrusting of my hips.
“Ah, Joss.” I squeezed her hips so tightly I had to be leaving handprints there. “I’m gonna come.”
She pushed back against me, and I unloaded everything into her. All the tension and fatigue and resentment drained away as I emptied myself into the woman who had become my world.
I was breathing hard as I got on my back and pulled her on top of me.
“I’ll be feeling that at work tonight,” she said, grinning.
“Damn right.” I smacked her ass. “Don’t ever forget who this ass belongs to.”
“That better mean your ass belongs to me, too.”
I brushed the hair away from her face and kissed her softly. “You know it does.”
Her expression turned serious. “I can’t remember what my life was like before you. Going to bed alone and only cooking for myself . . . it seems so far away now.”
“It does for me, too.”
“Sometimes I feel like I can’t stay this happy. Like it’s too good to be true and it will slip away when I’m not looking.”
“It won’t.” I tucked her hair behind her ear and ran my thumb over her jaw line. “I won’t slip away, Joss. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and so much more.”
Her eyes lit up with happiness. It was times like this when she’d usually lob a joke at me, unable to accept a compliment.
“It’s because I touch vaginas for a living, isn’t it? That’s pretty much every man’s fantasy.”
I ran my hand around to the back of her neck and cupped it. “You’re my fantasy, but it’s got nothing to do with your job.”
She smiled. “You’re mine, too.”
We both got out of bed to clean up, and as soon as we got back in, she snuggled in close to me.
“Sweet dreams, beautiful man,” she said in a sleepy tone. “And don’t forget I’m here. Always right here if you need me.”
I kissed her temple and closed my eyes, letting relaxation take over. Hopefully, tonight the nightmares would stay away.