Carson
Even in this situation—climbing up an elevator shaft after she’d been stranded inside the car, I couldn’t help admiring Joss’s ass. It never stopped amazing me that this woman who was everything any man could ever want and more was mine.
Seeing her deliver Amanda’s baby had moved me. Knowing what she did for a living was different than seeing it. Her level-headedness had reminded me of the best commanding officers I’d had in the army.
And what’s more, she had been so compassionate to Amanda. Genuinely happy for her, even though Amanda didn’t deserve it. Joss was the best person I’d ever known.
It wasn’t a long climb to the top of the shaft, and once Joss got there, the firefighters helped pull her into the hallway. I was right behind, but I waved off their help and hauled myself over the edge.
Several people from the OB and ER floors were surrounding Joss, congratulating her, and hugging her. She smiled and thanked them, but I knew she had to be wiped out after such an emotionally draining experience.
When her eyes found mine through the small crowd, I felt an almost magnetic pull toward her. As I approached, she stepped away from the group of coworkers and reached out for my hand.
It was my unspoken cue to get her out of here, and I obliged. I led her down the hallway, and she pointed to a small conference room.
“Let’s duck in there for a minute,” she said, sounding weary. “Just so I can catch my breath without everyone looking at me.”
We went into the room, and I closed the door and pulled the blinds on its window. Joss sat down at the round table, pulling her hair out of its ponytail and running her hands through it.
“That was crazy, Carson,” she said softly. “I was terrified that she’d have complications I couldn’t handle.”
“You were amazing.”
She smiled at me, but it wasn’t her usual warm, radiant grin. This smile was almost sad.
“You okay?” I asked her.
She shrugged, and I wondered if I should keep what I wanted to tell her to myself. Since she was already overwhelmed, it wasn’t a good time. But it didn’t take me long to realize I couldn’t wait.
“I’ve got to tell you something.” I approached the table and stood next to her.
Joss looked up at me, curiosity brimming in her eyes. I took a deep breath, tried to calm my raging heartbeat, and dove in.
“When I saw you holding Amanda’s baby . . . something happened to me, Joss. I can’t really explain it, but the look on your face . . . it knocked the fucking wind out of me. It was like I was seeing you holding our baby.”
She furrowed her brow in confusion. “But you don’t want children.”
I scrubbed a hand down my face. “I used to think I didn’t. At all. Then I met you, and . . . I don’t know. I meant it when I said maybe I’d warm to the idea down the road. But when I saw you just now . . .” I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face. “I do want it, Joss. But only with you. I know I’ll need help, and I’ll probably make mistakes, but I want us to have kids together someday.”
Her lips parted, and her entire face lit up. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah.” I laughed. “I can’t really believe it myself. I feel like a total girl right now, but seeing you with that baby . . . it got me.”
Her face turned serious again. “Maybe it was just a caught-up-in-the-moment kind of thing.”
“No, it wasn’t. You’re meant to be a mother, Joss. I felt it in that moment, so strong it was almost physical. And I want kids who have your blonde hair and gorgeous smile.”
“You’d be a great father,” she said softly.
“I never thought so before. I figured people looked at me and saw my father. But you saw something more in me, and then . . . I guess I started to see it, too. I want us to have a family together.”
“Are you sure?” Her voice was tight with emotion.
“I am. I should have waited to tell you, but—”
She jumped up from the chair and threw her arms around my neck. “You told me at the absolute most perfect time.”
I felt her wet tears against my throat, and I held her tightly against me. Clearly, this was something that meant a lot to her. I hated that she’d felt like she may have to give it up to be with me.
“I feel like I could rock one of those baby backpacks,” I said, trying to lighten the moment. “Like just throw the baby back there and hang shingles or chop wood, you know? Take him on a motorcycle ride, maybe.”
She laughed, her breath warm against my skin. “Oh, Carson. You’re getting ahead of yourself. Maybe we should get married first.”
I pulled back, and we locked eyes. “Is that a proposal?” I asked her.
“No!” Her cheeks went pink with embarrassment.
“What, like marrying me would be so awful?” I cocked a brow, teasing her.
“No.” She shook her head and laughed. No, not at all, I just . . . figured you’d be the one to propose.”
My heart swelled with love for her. “I will, babe. When the time is right.”
“I feel so much lighter now,” she murmured.
The tension was gone from her expression, and the light was back in her eyes.
“What was it that was bothering you?” I asked her. “The thing you wanted to talk to me about.”
She shook her head and smiled. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“Sure it does.”
After taking a deep breath, she said, “Believe it or not, I was going to tell you that not having kids is a deal-breaker for me. I felt absolutely sick about the thought of losing you, but . . .”
“I understand.”
She met my gaze. “Do you? You don’t think that would have been . . . cold of me?”
“Not at all. I’m telling you, Joss, there was something magical happening in that elevator. I felt it, too. Like the universe was trying to tell us something. I’m just glad both of us heard it. I can be kind of a blockhead sometimes.”
She smiled and put her palms on my cheeks. “Of all the incredible timing . . . you can’t imagine how happy you made me when you said that. You’re the only one I want to have kids with.”
“You think we should celebrate you not dumping me?” I rested my forehead against hers.
She laughed softly. “I do. But at the moment, I’m completely exhausted.”
“I was thinking I’d pick breakfast from that little café you like and we can eat it in bed and then sleep the day away.”
“Mmm, that’s pretty much like dirty talk to me right now. I’m getting hot at the thought of eating strawberry crepes with you and then sleeping like the dead.”
“You can take a hot shower and put on that football shirt of mine you like so much and those shorts you love to sleep in with the hole in the crotch.”
“Baby, you’re gonna make me come,” she said in a teasing tone.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. “Joss, I love many things about you, but do you know what I love best?”
“Hmm?”
“I love how you you are. There’s no one else like you.”
She pressed her cheek to my chest and sighed softly. “That’s about the nicest compliment anyone’s ever given me. I’ve always felt awkward and different from other women. But not with you.”
“You ready for our sexy breakfast?”
Joss pulled back and gave me a serious look. “Soon. I need to check on Amanda and Genevieve first.”
“I thought you two hated each other.”
She shrugged. “I think that magical moment you mentioned may have changed things between us. Or”—she laughed softly—“maybe just for me. Amanda may whip a blood pressure cuff at my head and tell me to fuck off when I walk in her room.”
“She sure as hell better not. After what you just did?”
“I don’t want her to be all alone. Dean should stay, but who knows if he will.”
“He told me he’s planning to be here for whatever she needs.”
Joss scoffed. “How nice of him. Where’s he been for the last half of her pregnancy?”
“I know. Douche probably doesn’t want to look bad in front of his coworkers by ditching her here, though.”
She nodded. “That sounds about right. So I’m just going to look in on her then, and I’ll head home.”
“I’ll go get breakfast, unless you need me to stay here.”
“No, I’m good.” She smiled at me and added, “We’re having kids someday.”
I nodded and kissed her gently. “I already know it’s gonna be good. Everything with you is.”
We left the room hand in hand then, and it felt like we were opening the door on a new phase of our relationship. Joss getting stuck in that elevator with Amanda had turned out to be one of the best things that had happened for us.