Chapter 4

 

 

“YOU NEED to bring your sled and to dress in your best unitard because there can’t be any logos on it, other than the flag,” Duncan said as they sat in his room reviewing the slightly adjusted marketing plan that Trevor had approved. “Do you have one with a flag on it?”

“Yes. I have a white one that I don’t use very often. It was a gift from my mom, and I haven’t wanted to get it dirty.” Todd turned away.

“Can we go see her?” Duncan asked.

Todd nodded, trying to hide his surprise. Most people didn’t know what to do when they saw her, so they tended to stay away. “Sure. When would you like to go?”

Duncan checked his watch. “Now? I’ve been working on the final details all day, and I have the photo sessions set up to take the pictures for the websites. You know Trevor—when he makes up his mind about something, he really goes for it.” Trevor could be a force of nature when he wanted to be, and he seemed incredibly excited about doing this. “I could really use some time away, and I want to see your mom. It’s been a long time.”

Todd nodded. He liked that Duncan cared, and he really needed to get out there to spend some time with her anyway. It was getting harder and harder with each visit. “I have to warn you. She isn’t the same person you remember.” The last year had seen a rather rapid decline into Alzheimer’s that Todd could do nothing to stop. He was a spectator in his mother’s descent into her own world.

“It’s okay. I’m not the same person she saw last time either.” Duncan closed the file on his computer and turned out the desk light.

“No, you aren’t.” Todd grinned. Sometimes Duncan really surprised him. In the last week, he seemed to have found a purpose, some of that internal fire that had driven him as an athlete, and, damn, that fire in Duncan’s eye was good to see—and enticing as hell. Todd’s body reacted, but he tamped it down, reminding himself that they were planning to visit his mother, not hitting a club. Still, the energy was sexy, and Todd felt himself drawn to it.

Over that time, he had kissed Duncan a few times and held and touched him. Each time he did, Duncan tensed for just a second and then seemed to relax, even lean into the touch. It confused Todd sometimes, and he hoped there would be a time when that would change. Todd was determined to help Duncan understand that he was the same man, that nothing that truly mattered, at least to him, had changed.

Todd leaned in, gently cradling Duncan’s cheeks in his hands. He waited for the hesitation or for him to tense, but Duncan simply looked at him, watching as Todd drew nearer. “Thank you for suggesting this.” He closed the distance between them, touching Duncan’s lips with his.

There was the hesitation. It lasted only a second, and then Duncan returned the kiss, taking it deeper, pressing closer to him. Todd was slightly surprised, sliding his arms around Duncan’s back, holding him as best he could, intensifying the kiss that he felt to his very toes.

“Wow,” Todd said after pulling back, blinking, breathless. “You’re one sexy kisser.”

Duncan smiled, his eyes drifting lower. Todd followed his gaze but didn’t see anything noticeable. However, Duncan looked extra pleased.

Todd slid his hand around the back of his neck and drew him in once again. “Are things waking up?”

“I think so. Maybe.” Duncan colored, but he continued smiling. “Let’s go see your mom, and we can talk about this later. Okay?”

Todd pulled away and nodded. He took a few seconds for his head to clear from the mind-blowing kiss and then stood. He reminded himself that he was going to visit his mother, and that wasn’t a good thing to do when he was as stiff as a board.

He waited for Duncan to get ready and use the bathroom, and then they told Duncan’s mother where they were going and left the house. For most of the trip, Todd worried how Duncan would react to his mom, but as they walked down the drab hall to his mother’s room, some of the unease slipped away.

“Duncan,” Todd’s mother said from her chair as soon as he rolled into the room.

Todd raised his eyes skyward to give thanks. This was one of her good days. Granted, he didn’t know how long it would last, but he was pleased one coincided with Duncan’s visit.

“How are you, Mrs. Hamilton?” Duncan rolled over to her and took her hands in his.

“Losing my mind piece by piece,” she answered, then turned to Todd, seemingly having trouble remembering his name. That was part of the real cruelty of this disease. It took bits and pieces of his mom away and left others intact. “How are you?” she asked, returning her attention to Duncan.

“I’m getting better.” Duncan continued holding her hand. “Todd tells me you’re doing good as well.”

She shrugged. “Some days I can’t remember my own damn name.” She turned toward the door. “And I know the nurses keep moving my stuff,” she whispered. “I can never find a single thing in this place.” She looked toward Todd, then back at Duncan, the light in her eyes fading. “Is it time for lunch yet?”

“Mom, lunch was hours ago, and dinner won’t be for a few hours yet.” Todd remembered what the doctors had told him: Answer her questions without getting frustrated. It will only upset her.

“What did you do today?” Duncan asked patiently.

His mother went into a litany of activities that Todd knew were jumbled memories of the past. There was no rhyme or reason, and Todd certainly knew his mother hadn’t gone canoeing, but it didn’t matter. She was talking, and that was good. A lot of the time, she sat quietly because she didn’t seem to have anything to say. His once-outgoing mother was retreating inside her own head.

“Sounds like you had some fun times.”

She nodded but appeared to have run out of steam. She sat back and began looking out the window.

“It’s okay, Mom,” Todd whispered under his breath.

Duncan turned to him, confused and bewildered. He backed away as Todd came over.

“We came to see you,” he said gently.

“Yes.” She turned once again to the window, and Todd leaned down and kissed her forehead. He knew from experience that there was no use staying. Whatever interaction they were going to get was over. He motioned to Duncan, who said goodbye. Todd did the same, and they left the room.

“Todd,” Gwen, one of the regular nurses, said as he passed the desk. “How are you holding up?”

“Good. She was with it for a few minutes.” Todd smiled. “This is my friend Duncan, and Mom remembered him when we first arrived.”

She smiled and nodded. “Today must have been a good day.” It was all about those few times when his mother was there and interaction was possible.

“It is.”

“Is there anything we can do for her?” Duncan asked.

“No, sweetheart,” Gwen answered. “Alzheimer’s is one of the meanest things I ever seen in my life. Maybe someday we can fix it, but for now we do what we can to keep her comfortable.”

“Thank you.” Each visit got harder and harder on him. There were times when Todd wished he could stay away, but he never would, regardless of how bad things got.

They left the home, and Duncan rolled silently out to the car. He got inside, and Todd hefted the chair into the back and closed the doors.

Todd got in and sat behind the wheel, not moving for a few seconds, simply needing to get his thoughts together. “It’s so hard seeing her that way. The last year has been really bad. Sometimes this damned disease moves slowly, and at other times, it’s hurling forward at a hundred miles an hour. Mom doesn’t have much more to lose, and then she’ll just be a shell.” He rested his head on the steering wheel.

Duncan gently touched the back of his neck. “You’re doing everything you can for her.”

“I wish I could do more. I’d love it if I could get her into a better place. The people there are nice and do what they can. But it’s the most her insurance will pay for.” He knew there were probably more comprehensive programs; there had to be. “I’m sorry.” He slowly raised his head. “All of this isn’t your problem.”

“Hey. You’re the one who’s always telling me to be positive. Your mother is getting good care, and you’ve been there for her. There is nothing more you can do. My grandma spent the last years of her life fighting with everyone because she didn’t remember them. She hit my mom and my grandpa because she didn’t know who they were anymore.” Duncan sat quietly, still touching him, while Todd gathered his thoughts and tried to push away the worry and ache that always accompanied these visits.

“Why don’t we get something to eat?” He’d like to make Duncan dinner and tried to think of a way to get him into his place. He held up a finger, sat back, and called Clive. “Are you at the apartment?” Todd asked when he answered.

“Yeah.”

“Is the place a real mess?” Todd asked, expecting the worst. It had been clean when he left, but Todd swore it could look as though a bomb had gone off in the place in five minutes.

“No. Henry apparently has a date tonight so he cleaned… a lot.” Clive giggled. “Why? You bringing someone over?”

“Yeah. I was going to make dinner for Duncan.” Todd gave Duncan a smile.

“Awesome. I’ll run to the store and pick up some stuff. Do you want this to be romantic?”

Todd snorted and started the engine. “In that place?” He rolled his eyes. “Grab some garlic bread and pasta. I have sauce in the freezer, unless someone ate it. Get enough and I’ll make plenty.” That way the guys could eat leftovers. Todd hung up and pulled out of the parking area.

“Will I be able to get inside?”

“Clive is home. There are a few steps, so I’ll have him help me get you in.” Todd really wanted to have some time with Duncan that didn’t include his mother as chaperone. They had some things to talk about, and he wanted Duncan to feel comfortable.

“Are you sure?” Duncan asked.

“Yes. It’s only four steps, and Clive says that the place is clean.” Todd had moved a few weeks after Duncan’s accident, so Duncan had never seen this apartment.

“Okay.” Duncan sat back as Todd drove to his building. There were four apartments, his being the entire right side of the lower floor. He parked, and Clive hurried out to meet them.

“You’re Clive Richards,” Duncan said as he opened his door and held out his hand. “I saw you in the luge. You were amazing.”

“Thanks.” Clive opened the back door and got Duncan’s chair out.

“Your interview was awesome. I loved when you talked about your brother and how you dedicated your run to him.”

Clive waited while Duncan shifted into his chair, and Todd found himself a little jealous. He tamped it down as Duncan maneuvered the chair up the walk. There was a slight incline, and Todd gently helped him to the base of the steps.

“Thanks. Peter actually got to see me run on television. He passed away a couple weeks after the Games.”

“I’m sorry,” Duncan said quietly, taking Clive’s hand. “I’m glad he got to see you, though.”

“It’s okay. Petey had spina bifida and fought his entire life to do as much as he possibly could. He always said he wanted to ride on a luge sled, but he was never able to. Once I had arranged for him to get special permission to take a bobsled ride with me. I had guys who would help load him and help him back to his chair. My mom had two fits about it, while Dad thought it was a great idea. It wasn’t like we were going to go fast.” Clive sighed. “Peter got sick again, and that ended that. He was so disappointed.” Clive forced a smile. “At least he got to see me make my runs.”

“My mom always refused to watch mine. She said it made her too nervous.” Duncan rolled his eyes. “I guess she was right about that.” He sighed.

“We’ll help you up the steps.” Todd took the back of the chair and turned Duncan around, then tilted him back. He got up to the top, with Clive steadying the front. It was easy enough, and soon Duncan was in the apartment.

“How many people live here?”

“There are four of us. The others are out at the moment.” Todd went to the kitchen to check on the things for dinner. “Thanks for shopping,” he told Clive, pulling a couple of beers out of the refrigerator and handing the cans around.

“I’ll shop for your cooking anytime.” Clive glanced at Duncan. “Todd is really good in the kitchen, but I’m a complete mess.” Clive sat in the large Goodwill chair, which was really comfortable, and a Packers throw hid the ugly pink fabric… well, mostly.

Todd cleared a space near the sofa so Duncan would have plenty of room and returned to the open kitchen area. The living space wasn’t particularly large because of the bedrooms, but it worked for them.

“How are things at work?” Todd asked as he pulled the sauce out of the freezer and set it to thaw. He also got the garlic bread ready for the oven before joining the others in the living room.

“Same. You know, a toilet is a toilet.”

“You’re a plumber?” Duncan asked.

“Yeah. That’s my trade, but I’ve done just about everything in homes except electrical. I leave that to the pros.”

“The bathroom at our house is really narrow, and Mom and I have talked about replacing the vanity so there would be more room for my chair. Maybe you could come over and look at it sometime. It would make things easier if I could move around a little more.”

“I’ve done plenty of remodeling work.” Todd smirked. “I’m pretty good with my hands. Clive and I could probably fix you up in no time.”

“It would really help me out. I also need to redesign my closet. The rod needs to be lowered, and I need places for shoes and stuff so I can reach them. It’s hard picking stuff up off the floor. I have those grabber things.”

“Then you tell us when you’ll be available, and Todd and I will come over and take a look,” Clive said, lifting his beer and taking a swig. “If we need more help, we can recruit the rest of the guys. Everyone here has built stuff, done demo—you name it.” Clive shook his head. “It’s damn sad that we don’t get more support from the committee.”

“I know. They tried to pull my insurance after I got hurt because I couldn’t compete anymore. I had to get lawyers involved,” Duncan said, and Todd saw red. “The accident was because of a flaw in the run, at the USOC facility. We had to threaten to sue them just to get the jerks to back off. Anyway, I want to use Todd in some commercials, so I’m trying to research the rules so he doesn’t get sanctioned, and, of course, they have something on their website, but mostly it’s buried in documents that you need a law degree to understand.”

“That’s because they want everyone to fail and break the rules. Then we’re at the bastards’ mercy,” Clive grumbled. “But I think I have something somewhere.” He left the room, and Todd leaned forward to take Duncan’s hands.

“I appreciate you doing all this for me.” He met Duncan’s gaze, his blue eyes sparkling. God, Duncan had the most amazingly expressive eyes. Todd could get lost in them for the rest of his life. “You really don’t have to.”

“Yes, I do. I want to help, and this could be just the start. Besides, Trevor is excited about it and thinks it’s a great idea. What makes it better is you work for him, so you’ll be in the commercial and there’s the chance that people will actually see you working on their car. That’s super cool for customers.”

“Is that the only reason you’re doing it?” Todd asked, and Duncan shook his head.

“I want you to be a success and happy, and I want you to be able to go to the Olympics and win a medal. Win one for you and for me, because you winning is going to be as close as I ever come.” Duncan squeezed his hand. “I want to be there when you stand on that platform and listen to the national anthem as the flags rise into the wind. Okay? That’s what I want.”

Todd sniffed slightly. “But what if that doesn’t happen?” Damn, that was added pressure.

“Just being there is plenty. It means you’re talented enough to make the team and the trip. So I want you to be able to go for it.” Duncan leaned forward, and Todd captured his lips and kissed him deeply. When a throat cleared from behind him, Todd flipped Clive off and slipped out of his seat so he could get even closer to Duncan.

Heat and energy coursed through him. He needed more and ran his hands around Duncan’s back, caressing him through his shirt as he pressed his tongue between his sweet lips. The taste of Duncan, hot and slightly spicy, burst on his tongue as he kissed him even harder. There was no hesitation from Duncan, only reciprocation as Duncan moaned softly against his lips.

“If you two want to take this further….”

Todd pulled away, swallowed hard, and cleared his throat. “A good roommate would leave the room for a few minutes and give his friends some privacy.” He flashed Clive a grimace that was met with a colossal eye-roll.

“Please. A good roommate would take his making out to his own room.” Clive tapped his foot with a smirk. “And some of us are hungry.”

“I see.” Todd returned to his chair as Clive handed Duncan a sheaf of papers. Duncan covered his mouth with his hand as though he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh or not.

“Don’t worry about it,” Clive said to Duncan. “He and I give each other grief all the time. It’s part of what we do.” He flopped down in the chair once again, slipped his feet onto the coffee table, and tipped back his beer with a smug satisfaction that Todd wanted to smack off his face.

“You’re a pain in the ass,” Todd told him, and Clive just flipped him off and finished his beer. “That’s your limit if you’re going to be driving.”

Clive looked dramatically affronted and got up, threw the can away, and returned with a glass of water. “Fine. I’m supposed to go out tonight, and I need to watch what I drink.” He rotated his tight little hips and ass. “I don’t want to put on weight. Not only will the coaches give me grief, but this pert little package is my moneymaker at the clubs.”

“‘Pert little package.’ Is that what they’re calling it now?” Duncan waggled his pinkie, and Todd snorted as Clive tried his best to look insulted before he flopped back down.

“Two against one. That isn’t fair.” Clive stuck out his lower lip, and Todd shook his head.

“That isn’t very attractive, Bubba Blue,” Todd told him, and Clive pulled in his lower lip and drank some water.

“Seriously, do you think you could get me some commercials or something like that?” Clive asked. “We could all use some help with our image and maybe get a little money.” He finished the water and set the glass on the side table. “I’m so sick of eating ramen noodles and macaroni. We’re supposed to have a balanced diet, and yet fresh vegetables are too expensive to eat all the time.”

“Let me see how this works out for Todd, and I’ll see what I can do. There are plenty of places looking for someone to represent their brand, but they don’t know how to go about finding someone.” Todd could almost see Duncan’s wheels turning.

“Maybe we can talk to the rest of the guys and see if they might be interested.” Clive put his feet down as Todd held up his hand.

“Let’s wait to see how this works out, okay?” Duncan sounded a little overwhelmed by Clive’s huge burst of energy. “I don’t want to promise something I can’t deliver.”

Todd took Duncan’s hand to try to soothe his agitation.

“That’s cool.” Clive’s phone rang, and he checked the display and hurried out, probably going down to his room.

“Boyfriend?” Duncan asked.

“There’s this guy that Clive likes.” Todd leaned forward. “The two of them have been circling around each other at the club for months. They talk and even dance sometimes, but Clive won’t make a move, and neither does Liam. He stays back. Finally they decided to actually meet at the club to go dancing, and then Liam asked him to get a late dinner. Clive has been over the moon about it.”

Duncan cleared his throat, and Todd waited. He had the feeling that Duncan had something he wanted to say. “Umm….” He turned away. “God, this is embarrassing. But when we kissed, something happened… if you know what I mean.” He colored deeply.

Todd nodded. “Stuff is working?”

Duncan shrugged. “I don’t know. Let’s just say that it isn’t completely dead.” Duncan smiled with what Todd could only describe as relief. “Though it seems to have a mind of its own.”

Todd snorted, and Duncan laughed right along with him.

With a hangdog expression on his face and a huge sigh, Clive returned.

Todd cleared his throat. “What happened?”

“Liam had to cancel. He had to go to Chicago tonight for a meeting first thing in the morning.” Clive slumped back in his chair, staring at his phone as though willing it to ring again. “It sucks.”

“There’ll be another time.”

Clive shrugged. “I should have stayed away from him. He has a reputation as a player, and while I like some fun, some guys just aren’t worth it.” He crossed his arms over his chest and sat brooding, which was so unlike Clive. He was usually a happy-go-lucky kind of guy.

“If he likes you, he’ll call again.” Todd wanted to try to reassure him, but it did sound like a bit of a brush-off considering he’d called at nearly six at night.

“He said we could go out to dinner next week.” That cheered Clive up somewhat. “I was just looking forward to seeing him.” Clive didn’t give his heart away… to anyone. In all the time Todd had known him, Clive had had two boyfriends, and they’d never stayed around for very long. Clive seemed to either wear them out or tire of them. But he’d been fascinated by Liam for months. “But I hate waiting around for him.”

“You could just call the guy yourself instead of waiting around like a damsel in distress,” Todd offered. “Call and talk to the guy.” It sounded like that was what they needed more than anything else.

Clive perked up, and Todd stood and went into the kitchen to get dinner started.

“But what do I do tonight?” Clive asked. “It’s Friday, and I don’t want to sit around all night.” He jumped to his feet. “Why don’t you guys come to the club? There’s great music and dancing and stuff.” Then the color drained from his face and he stepped back. “God, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I don’t have my dancing wheels on the chair tonight.” Duncan smiled slightly, but Todd had tension in his voice. Dammit.

“That’s a good idea,” Todd interjected, and set the pot he’d been filling onto the stove.

“Are you crazy?” Duncan asked. “I can’t dance.”

“Maybe not the old way, but we could have some fun. There will be lots of people there for you to talk to, and—” Todd walked up to Duncan and leaned down close to him, lowering his voice to a whisper. “—I think I’d like to dance with you.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. Didn’t you ever go out before?” Todd asked.

“Yeah, but I could walk then, and I could dance. I can’t do either of those things now.” Duncan turned away, and Todd gently cradled his chin in his fingers.

“Then we can stay here tonight if you like.” He didn’t want to make Duncan uncomfortable. “I have some good movies we can watch if you’d rather.” Though it wasn’t likely they were going to get a lot of privacy. The others would be in and out at some point. Todd kept trying to figure out a way that he and Duncan could be alone, and it just didn’t seem possible. Duncan’s mother was always around at his house, and here it was Todd’s roommates.

“That would be nice.” Duncan gripped his wrists. “I don’t think I’m up to going out to clubs just yet. You can go if you want to. Just take me home, and you can go out and have a good time.” Duncan closed his eyes. “I won’t hold you back.”

“Sweetheart, you—” Todd hugged Duncan tightly. “—you don’t hold me back. I thought going out would be fun for both of us, but we don’t need to go.” It really wasn’t that big a deal, and he certainly didn’t want Duncan getting upset over it. “Clive can go dancing for all of us.”

He got up and went back to making dinner. There wasn’t a huge amount to do since the sauce had already been made. He put the pasta on to cook and slid the garlic bread into the oven. Then he made a simple salad and brought it to the table.

“I’m sorry,” Duncan told him.

“Don’t be,” Clive chimed in. “I’m getting tired of going out all the time anyway.” He sat back and put his feet up once again. “Maybe I’ll stay here and watch movies with you.”

Todd flashed him a dirty look, and Clive cleared his throat.

“Or I can just go out and keep my mouth shut.” Now he was getting the idea.

Todd got Clive to set the table, and he put the sauce on to heat before draining the pasta. Once everything was ready, he brought it to the table, and the three of them sat down. Clive ate quietly, probably still stewing over Liam, and Duncan kept glancing at him as though he expected to be ditched at any second. This was not what Todd’d had in mind when he’d invited Duncan over for dinner. He wanted the evening to be enjoyable, and instead Duncan was uncomfortable. Tension hung in the room.

“I think I’m going to get going.” Clive finished his plate and took it to the sink. “You two have a fun evening.” He hurried away to his room, and Todd wondered what he was up to. Clive returned a few minutes later, and Todd stifled a groan. “I talked to Henry, and apparently he and his date are out for the evening. There was a change of plans. Solly is at his parents’ for the weekend, and I’m heading out in a few minutes.” Clive winked. “So you two can have the place all to yourselves.” He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.

“Thanks, and have fun.”

Clive nodded. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He pulled open the door and was gone, just like that.

Todd could hardly believe it—he and Duncan were actually alone.

“Do you want to sit on the sofa?” Todd asked as he cleaned up the dishes.

“That would be nice.”

Todd finished up, wiped his hands on a towel, and returned to the living room. He gently lifted Duncan from his chair, cradling his weight next to his body. God, he loved these moments. For a few seconds, Duncan was his, in his arms. And he belonged to just him. He held Duncan a little longer than necessary before setting him on the cushions. Then he adjusted the lights before sitting next to Duncan. “What would you like to watch?” Todd brought up the movies he’d recorded.

“I’m not sure. What do you want to watch?” Duncan leaned against him as Todd found a rather subdued Edwardian-era mystery to watch.

“Have you seen this?” Todd asked as he started Gosford Park, and Duncan shook his head. “It’s got amazing people in it, and it’s quiet. Something both of us could probably use right now.” Todd slipped an arm around Duncan’s waist as they got comfortable, and held his hand.

This was the perfect quiet date. In the past Todd had always planned very active outings. He used to go biking or running, and he once had a date where they went rock climbing. All of those things were out of the question now, and Todd found he liked a lower-key evening at home anyway.

“I can hear you thinking,” Duncan said. “This has to be really boring for you.”

“Actually, I was just thinking how nice it is.” Todd shifted closer, breathing in his scent as he kissed his cheek.

“You have a very active life. I know because I also used to. It’s part of who we are.” Tension flowed through Duncan, and he reached for the remote and paused the movie. “It’s not fair for me to expect you to give up all the things you normally do. What are you going to do, stop being active?”

“Duncan, I….” Todd didn’t see it that way.

“No. Please hear me out. I don’t doubt you have feelings for me. I can see it in your eyes, but you’re going to resent me, I know that. I’m going to end up like a stone around your neck, and you—”

“You are not a stone around anyone’s neck.” Todd shifted so he faced Duncan. “I don’t know why you think that.”

Duncan shook his head. “You wanted to go dancing, but I can’t do that. If I go to the club, everyone will stare at me and wonder why the heck I’m there. I can just see people giving me pitiful looks all night long.” He looked away. Todd had to admit that had never occurred to him. He’d only wanted to take Duncan out.

Todd got to his feet and turned off the movie. Then he got his computer, brought up Pandora, and found a big band station that he thought would work. Setting the computer on the coffee table, he started the music. Then he sat next to Duncan, took his hands, and swayed the two of them to the beat. “See, we’re dancing.” When the music changed to something with a little more swing, he pushed the table back, stood in front of Duncan, took his hands, and moved their arms as he shimmied his body.

“This isn’t what I meant,” Duncan said.

“I know exactly what you meant. And you’re wrong. If Stephen Hawking could dance on occasion, then so can you.” Todd leaned down to take Duncan in his arms like they were on a dance floor and rocked them side to side. He grinned, and eventually Duncan smiled. As the music came to an end, he dipped Duncan to the side, supporting his weight as he knelt in close. “See. You can dance. Or more importantly, we can dance together.” Todd kissed Duncan lightly before straightening him up. “You can do any damned thing you want.”

“It’s a little hard with thirty pounds of metal required to get around,” Duncan groused.

Todd shook his head. “That’s bloody bullshit. So there are some things that are off-limits. There are a hell of a lot of things that you can do, and I don’t intend to let you sit around and complain about it. I’ll show you all the fun things that are possible. Now, do you want to dance some more?”

Duncan opened his mouth and stared for a breath. “Maybe we can just watch the movie.”

“Okay. As long as that isn’t going to be too sedate for my adrenaline-junkie boyfriend.” Todd turned off the music and restarted the movie. Then he sat next to Duncan just as the crime was committed. “This always reminds me of Downton Abbey, except with murder.”

“I love that show. Too bad they ended it. Though I guess I understand why. They had already covered enough time that some of the fun characters were going to have to die off, and no one wanted that. Especially not the Dowager Countess.”

Duncan settled against him, and Todd soaked in his warmth. The movie completed and the credits rolled an hour later, and Duncan hadn’t moved.

“It really doesn’t bother you that I’m in a chair?”

Todd shifted slightly, turning so he could see Duncan clearly. “What happened to make you think it would? Have I done or said something?” He ran his finger over Duncan’s lower lip. “You need to tell me.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Duncan said and turned away. “After the accident and while I was in rehab, I met a guy, Harvey. He was nice and all, and he couldn’t walk either. We talked a lot, and I thought he might be interested.” Duncan shrugged. “Harvey and I had therapy appointments back-to-back because we were on the same schedule for a while, so I saw him all the time. But after about a month, he was able to leave his chair and… I know I was being dumb, but I asked him out. He gave me the brush-off.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Todd said. “Maybe he wasn’t ready. You both had been through some pretty tough stuff.”

Duncan patted his hand gently. “I heard him after therapy one day. His ride came, and she was this pretty model type. Smart too. I talked to her a few times while I was waiting, and she was really nice. Anyway, I was sitting in the therapy room just off the lobby and the door was partly open. She asked him about me, and Harvey said that he wasn’t going to date anyone in a chair.” Duncan buried his face in Todd’s arm. “I thought we were friends. He’d been through the same stuff as me and….”

“Just because someone gets hurt doesn’t mean they aren’t a complete asshole.” Todd touched Duncan’s chin, then kissed him again. “You don’t have to worry about things like that, because it doesn’t matter to me.”

“You say that now. But what happens in a few years when you get tired of helping me get around or in and out of bed and stuff like that?” Duncan swallowed hard. “I’m going to have problems for the rest of my life. I’m working to strengthen my legs, but I know I’m going to have issues because I’ll be sedentary. Who would want to deal with all that when they can have a boyfriend who can walk and run?”

“Hey, it’s the man who’s important,” Todd insisted, but he wasn’t sure if Duncan believed him or not. Granted, Todd didn’t think that a few words were going to be enough. He’d have to show him with his actions. “How about you let me worry about what I want, okay?”

Duncan nodded. “I’m just scared of getting my heart broken.”

“Well, duh. I think we’re all afraid of that. But I’m your friend, and I have been for a while. I’m not going to just hurt you, Duncan. You have to know that.” Todd squeezed his hand. “I’m not going to break your heart if I can help it.” Todd didn’t know what the future would bring for both of them, but he intended to be as gentle with Duncan’s heart as he could.

“It really doesn’t matter?” Duncan asked.

“Of course it doesn’t.” Todd drew Duncan to him and kissed him deeply. God, it felt good to have Duncan all to himself and not have to worry about someone walking in on them. “And it never will.”

“But why?” Duncan asked. “How can it not?”

“Because it’s the man that matters, not the chair. I like you for you. I have for a while, but I never had the guts to tell you before.” Todd wished Duncan could accept that he was for real. The dithering was a little frustrating, but he did his best to keep that to himself. “Do you think that for now you could just accept what I tell you?”

Duncan nodded, and Todd kissed him again. He didn’t want to go too far, but it was damned difficult. Duncan’s lips tasted of ambrosia, and as he slipped his arms around him, it was so tempting to slide his hands under his shirt just to feel his bare skin. But he refrained, because in the recesses of his feverish mind, he knew Duncan had to be the one to make that move.

Todd pulled back and blinked as he gazed into Duncan’s eyes. “Do you want to watch another movie?” He needed to do something, because sitting here with Duncan’s kiss-swollen lips before him, and his scent wafting around him, was wearing at his willpower. All he could think about was getting Duncan out of his clothes, to find out what he looked like under his blue shirt and khaki pants. But if Duncan wasn’t comfortable….

“I don’t know…,” Duncan breathed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I mean….” He shifted slowly and buried his head against Todd’s shoulder. Todd waited patiently for Duncan to tell him what was going on. “I want to do things, but I don’t think I can.”

“Sweetheart. You don’t have to rush or make yourself uncomfortable for me. I’ll wait until you’re ready.” Todd put an arm around Duncan’s shoulders and found another movie. “Do you want something with some more action?” When Duncan nodded, he put on The Avengers, and they sat back as superheroes did their best to save the world.

At about the halfway point, Todd paused the movie and got up to make some popcorn and get each of them a drink. “I thought you might want a snack.” He sat down and placed the bowl on Duncan’s lap, restarted the movie, and popped kernels into his mouth, glancing at Duncan every few minutes because it was simply impossible for him not to.

By the end of the movie, Duncan was half asleep and Todd had grown extremely comfortable, his eyes drooping. He stretched and took care of the dishes. “I should probably get you home.”

Duncan yawned, and Todd lifted him back into his chair, hugging him a few seconds and wishing he could simply carry him to his bed and hold him the entire night. But he’d made a promise to himself, and he intended to keep it. He got Duncan down the stairs and into the car, then drove him home, got his chair for him, and walked him to his door.

“This seems like a date from Happy Days or something,” Duncan teased. “All that’s missing is my mother turning the porch light on and off.”

Todd leaned down. “Which I expect your mother to do at any second.” He glanced to the windows as a shadow passed behind them. “You know she’s watching.”

Duncan nodded and wound his arms around Todd’s neck, drawing him down into a scorching kiss that curled Todd’s toes. Did Duncan have any idea what he did to him? Todd blinked away the fog of building anticipation as Duncan pulled away.

“That ought to teach her.”

“Was that the only reason you did it?” Todd asked.

Duncan rolled his eyes. “No. Shocking her a little was only a side benefit.” He smiled and pulled open the door. “Good night.” Duncan wheeled himself inside, and Todd walked back to his car, the tingle on his lips lasting until he got back home.