Chapter 5

 

 

WHEN TREVOR decided he wanted something, the man didn’t let grass grow under his feet, that was for sure.

“I have a television crew set to come out to film the first commercial, as well as some video clips that we can put on YouTube and the new website.” Trevor had hired the designer Duncan recommended, and they were already hard at work getting things together. “They had a cancellation and will be here Monday morning.”

Thankfully Duncan had already put together much of the commercial, so all he needed to do was fine-tune the script. But Trevor was moving whiplash fast. “Then let’s go over everything so we’re all set.”

Duncan pulled out the details he’d worked up, and they went over them piece by piece.

“Why aren’t we showing more of the garage?” Trevor asked.

“Because most everyone knows what a garage looks like. So what we’re doing is instilling a sense of speed, quality, and a fair price into your work. After all, that’s all anyone wants when they get their car fixed.” As Duncan waited for Trevor to digest the idea, he glanced out the window at Todd, who was leaning over the hood of a red Nissan. “We’ll film in front of the garage so the sign is clearly visible. We’ll need to make sure the lights can be turned on even though it’s daytime. It may make a difference to the camera.” He wasn’t sure about lighting, but he needed to cover all options.

“Okay,” Trevor agreed, sounding both a little nervous and excited.

“Good.” Duncan pulled some sketches out of his bag. “I storyboarded the commercial. I’m not the best artist, but I wanted to give you a really good idea of how I see it. I don’t want this to look like some local commercial from the seventies, but energetic and interesting, modern, and a little fun. Maybe we can make people smile. That will mean our message has the chance to be memorable.”

“What about this?” Trevor asked, pointing to the computer.

“Ahhh,” Duncan nodded and pulled up the video from his computer. “We used to take video of our training runs so we could study them.” Duncan smiled as he played the clip. “This is some that I shot of Todd. I used a super rich camera, so the video should be good enough, and Todd is wearing the same colors as he will in the commercial, so viewers will make an instant connection. I’m thinking we only need to run a few seconds, and this turn is particularly dramatic. I drew up and signed a release for the video, so we can use it.” He handed Trevor the signed agreement.

“Awesome. So all we need to do is film the commercial.”

“Then have it put together. I have a first-class editor that I went to college with.” Duncan snickered. “Eric’s first job was editing porn. Lots and lots of porn.” He couldn’t help laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Todd asked, standing in the doorway.

“He was telling me about his friend Eric,” Trevor said, and Todd laughed. “I take it you know him?”

“The best parts of my collection came from him. Eric is straight, but he put himself through college editing gay porn. Is he doing the work on the commercial?”

“Yes.” Duncan chuckled. “He does great work and has a modern eye that I really want. Most people think it’s the film crew that’s key, but I think it’s the commercial editor. As long as we get him good film, he can create something pretty amazing for us.”

Trevor turned to Todd. “Are you up to doing this? I know we’ve talked, but this is the moment of truth. If you don’t think you can, there’s still time to cancel.”

Duncan liked Trevor more and more just by the way he didn’t judge or become impatient. He was asking the question sincerely, and Duncan got the idea that if Todd said no, Trevor would cancel the whole thing with no hard feelings.

“Duncan thinks I’ll be good at it, and I’m going to trust him.” Todd smiled, and Duncan’s heart jumped.

“Just look at the camera the way you’re looking at me, and everyone in the city is going to want you to work on their cars,” Duncan said quietly, then blushed like crazy. He couldn’t believe he’d said that in front of Trevor.

“He’s right. Just pretend the camera is Duncan and you’ll do amazingly well.” Trevor turned back to their plans. “I have already had each of the garages photographed for the website, and the designer is working them in, so all we need is some filming and we can start booking spots on local television.” Trevor lightly smacked the top of the desk. “I think this is going to be great.”

“So do I,” Duncan agreed, and started putting everything away. “I’ll be here for the filming and will be able to help coordinating things. I’m hoping we can film before you open, when there’s good light, so we don’t impact the business.”

“That’s the plan.” Trevor grinned like a little kid, and his smile broadened as two men came in, one gently guiding the other. “James.” He took the angelic man’s hand, helping him over. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Scott brought me over on his way in to work,” James said, squeezing Scott’s hand.

They held each other’s hands for a while longer, and Duncan wondered why Trevor wasn’t angry that Scott was holding James’s hand. Maybe they were just friends?

Trevor signed to Scott, who nodded and turned to leave. Duncan grinned as a picture of communication between them formed in his mind. James was blind—he knew that from the way he was guided around, and Scott was deaf. No wonder they touched each other. It was their one common method of communication.

Trevor enveloped James in his arms, beaming at him with all the love in the world.

Duncan turned away, not wanting to intrude on a moment of such intimacy, and at the same time, wishing he could have that in his life. God, what he wouldn’t give to have Todd look at him that way. And the thing was, sometimes Duncan saw glimpses of that kind of caring, but how could it be? He couldn’t saddle Todd, or anyone, with someone whose “parts” were unreliable at best. Sometimes, no matter what anyone told him, he felt like less of a man.

“I’ll be done here in about an hour.”

“Okay,” James whispered.

Duncan finished gathering up his things. The air in the office tasted sour, and he needed to get out. His heart beat faster, and sweat broke out on the back of his neck. Duncan shoved his boards into his bag and closed the computer, slid it into his bag, and set it all on his lap.

“Duncan?” James said as he backed out of Trevor’s arms. “Are you okay?” He came over, and before Duncan could get out, James’s hands rested on his arms. “Trevor, will you get Duncan some water and open the outside door? He needs some fresh air. And get Todd.”

James issued orders, and Trevor jumped to bring it about.

Soon Todd was right there, holding him. “It’s all right.” Todd rocked slowly. “Just breathe evenly, okay?” His voice was so gentle, and the way Todd held him was firm and strong, without crowding him. The panic passed slowly, and he could breathe once again after a few minutes.

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s all right.” Todd held his hands.

Duncan looked up and realized the office was empty except for the two of them. “How did James know what was happening?”

“I suspect he smelled it. He has a nose on him as sharp as anything.” Todd smiled. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. Do you know what brought it on?”

Duncan shook his head. At first he thought it had been seeing James and Trevor together, but that wasn’t it. Something in the air—the scent must have triggered something. He wasn’t sure, but the fresh air seemed to have cleared his head.

“Feeling better?” Trevor asked.

“Yeah. Thank you.” Duncan felt his cheeks heating. He was so damned embarrassed, he wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.

“You know, it’s okay.” Sometimes it surprised him how well Todd could read him. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It happens. Scott was in an accident—that’s how he lost his hearing. He told me once that he still gets flashbacks.”

“I just wish I knew how to stop them. They happen at the worst times.” Duncan closed his eyes, still breathing deeply and carefully, leaning against Todd. “I just want them to go away.”

“They will with time, I suspect. The memories will become less immediate, and then fewer things will trigger them.” Todd always seemed to know what he was talking about, and that alone was reassuring. “Do you want me to call your mom so she can come pick you up? I have a few more hours of work before I can leave.”

“It’s all right. I’ll sit somewhere out of the way.”

“I’ll ask Trevor and Brent if you can use the office.” Todd squeezed Duncan’s shoulders and hurried away.

Duncan took a few moments to try to get himself under control once again. Maybe this whole idea of him and Todd was stupid. Todd was so caring, and a single touch made Duncan’s heart race, but how could he be good for Todd?

“Of course you can use the office,” Trevor said as he hurried in. “Are you feeling better?” He held out a bottle of water.

“Yes. I’ll be okay,” Duncan answered as James sat in the empty desk chair.

“Go on, hon. I know you have work to do,” James said, and Trevor kissed him and left the room. “So, you seem better.” James sat back, staring blankly at the wall. “I’m glad. Is the panic attack because of your accident?” He reached over and fumbled along Duncan’s arm before finding his hand. “I work with students who lose their sight after some form of trauma quite a bit, and they all have issues like yours.”

“I see,” Duncan said and then groaned.

“Don’t worry about the words you use. I use see all the time. It’s not a sore point.” James patted his hand, gently feeling his fingers. “The attacks will come, but don’t let them get to you. It’s part of your body and mind dealing with what happened and trying to avoid a repeat. Sometimes our heads overreact. That’s all this is.”

“So when I feel like I’m going to throw up…?” Duncan asked.

“Just breathe and tell yourself that it’s in your head and that it will pass, because it will. You just need to give yourself a chance to take control.” James’s movements were a little awkward as he leaned closer, but there was no doubt that he was sincere in his desire to help. “The next time it happens, try to take control for yourself.”

“Okay. I should know what they feel like now.”

“Yes. So give it a shot and see what happens. Some people are able to do that right away, though it takes time with others. Don’t become discouraged or frustrated.” James patted his hand again.

“Did you experience this?” Duncan asked.

“No. My blindness came on when I was a kid. I can’t remember being able to see. Scott lost his hearing in an accident, and he’s had issues for a while now. He’s learned to manage his attacks pretty well. But it took time. Have you had any support up until now?”

“They sent me to therapy at the hospital, and I went afterward, but it didn’t really help much, so I stopped going. I go to physical and occupational therapy still, but those are about to run out, at least with the insurance company.”

“Okay. I can recommend someone who is used to working with people who have suffered loss. They’re affiliated with the school and work mostly with the blind, but I don’t think it matters. The grieving process is the same.”

“I didn’t die…,” Duncan said, a little taken aback.

“Loss is loss. You lost your ability to walk, and you need to grieve for it. Walking is something that’s a part of who we are, just like the ability to see or to hear. When we lose it, we have to grieve for the loss. That’s perfectly normal. And it’s perfectly okay.” James sighed. “I used to throw huge fits and have these loud, very violent outbursts of anger. I was a kid and didn’t know how to express myself very well. Even as an adult, you will feel those same things, and it’s okay to let them out.” James smiled, not quite looking right at him. Duncan appreciated the effort, though.

“So, I should yell and scream?” His mother would be really happy about that.

James chuckled. “If you feel like it. But just know that you’re going to be frustrated. I can’t go into a strange room on my own. I have to have someone with me. Otherwise I’ll trip over the furniture or break something. And I know Trevor has to make plenty of accommodations for me, which he does without complaint. I thought he’d eventually start to get frustrated with me, but he never has.”

Duncan cleared his throat. “That’s part of what I’m afraid of too.” He wasn’t going to talk about the dodgy state of his equipment. That was way too personal.

“Don’t be. Todd is a wonderful man. He’s helped Scott and Lee when they need it. He knows what’s involved with someone who is differently abled.” James snickered softly. “Besides, we can all tell he’s crazy about you.”

“You can?” It shocked Duncan that people he didn’t know very well seemed to know more about his relationship than he did.

“Sure. All he does is talk about you. Most people can’t hear it, but he’s talking about you now. Specifically he’s talking about your ideas for the commercial to Lee… and now he slipped on a bolt.” James chuckled. “Some swearing, which I won’t repeat… and now he’s back to telling Lee how brilliant you are and how much he’s looking forward to seeing you tonight.”

“Okay….”

James patted his hand and then pulled his away. “Just let yourself be happy. It’s hard enough to find someone who is willing to go the extra mile for us, differently-abled or not. When we do… and they’re pretty special… just go for it.” James turned as Trevor came back in the office. It was like there was a magnet pulling James toward him. He held out his hand, and Trevor took it without a word.

“How do you do that? Is it some lovers’ thing?” Duncan asked.

“Trevor’s boots. They make this soft thunk on the concrete that I can pick out a mile away. It’s like he’s announcing his approach. He also smells like Trevor. I can’t describe it, but I know when he’s near, and he doesn’t have to say anything.” James held Trevor’s hand. “I make up for being blind by using my other senses.”

“But how do I make up for not being able to use my legs?” Duncan countered.

“The most powerful organ any of us has is our brain. Look at Stephen Hawking. He could barely move anything on his body, but he changed the world for all of us. He was brilliant. We all need to use the gifts we’re given, and if we concentrate on what we have—” James moved easily into Trevor’s arms. “—then we aren’t as focused on what we don’t have.” He patted Trevor’s chest gently.

“I have a few more things to finish up,” Trevor said. “Was there anything else you and I need to review?”

“I don’t think so,” Duncan said, trying to recall anything they’d overlooked. His mind was a little scrambled at the moment, but he couldn’t recall anything. “Stay in touch with the website designer to make sure the site keeps moving forward.”

“I will, and I like what I’m seeing so far. The person you recommended is really good.” Trevor seemed very pleased, which was a comfort to Duncan. He could design passable websites—he’d done it in classes and a few times on his own—but he was never great at it. Thankfully, he knew people. Trevor helped James back to his seat and left the office.

James pulled out a set of earbuds and busily tapped his phone, with Siri speaking to him occasionally.

Duncan pulled his computer back out of the bag he’d hastily stashed it in and got to work. He made a few follow-up calls but was interrupted by a text message from Corrina. Duncan thought he should probably block her.

I hear you have a new job. I hope it’s going well. She followed it with a smiley face that seemed to be mocking him.

Duncan stared at the seemingly innocuous message and wondered what she was up to. He said thanks and that was all. He thought of telling her that she could go out and do the same thing, but he kept it to himself. There was no sense in stirring the pot.

“Hey,” Todd said as he came into the office.

James pulled out his earbuds and smiled.

“Hi,” Duncan said, looking up from his phone. Todd came over, and Duncan showed him the message. “Just got it.”

Todd leaned over him and shrugged. “Maybe she’s coming to terms with reality.”

Duncan met Todd’s gaze. “Do you really think that’s likely? Not that there’s anything she can do to change it.”

“I suggest you take the message at face value. Maybe she’s realized she’s gone a little off the deep end and is trying to mend some fences.” Todd gently placed his hand on his shoulder. “I wouldn’t spend too much effort on it if I were you.”

Duncan nodded. “You’re probably right.” He set his phone aside.

“I have one more job to finish and then I can leave for the day. Is that all right?” Todd asked.

“Sure.” Duncan’s gaze met Todd’s, and for a second, the rest of the shop fell away. It was brief, but an image of Todd in only those coveralls he was wearing flashed in his mind. The straps slipped off his shoulders, revealing lean muscle and a chest with a hint of belly. Duncan blinked away the picture to get his mind back to reality. It really had been way too long since he’d….

Duncan slid his chair forward to hide his lap under the desk so he… holy shit. He turned back to his computer, smiling to himself. He wanted to shout for ever-loving joy.

James snickered softly, and for a second, Duncan wondered if he knew what was going on, but there was no way he could. Duncan sheepishly turned to Todd, who had a knowing gaze that heated within seconds. He leaned down to whisper in Duncan’s ear.

“I take it certain systems have come online.”

Duncan wanted to die, and at the same time, was so relieved that he wondered if he could have it written across the sky. Probably not appropriate and supremely embarrassing, but still. The relief that washed through him was unbelievable. It was as if he’d gotten his manhood back. Granted, Todd would probably scold him if he said such a thing, but it was how he felt.

He forced his attention onto the work he was trying to get done, though he failed miserably to wipe the stupid grin off his face. “Okay. I need to get some work done, and I can’t do that with your hotness standing over me.” Giddiness was a new sensation since the accident, but that was how he felt at the moment. Thankfully James put his earbuds back in, and Todd winked at Duncan before leaving the office. Lord help him.

 

 

JAMES AND Trevor had already left by the time Todd finished up his job and gave the paperwork to Brent, who had been able to reclaim most of his office, though Duncan still sat in the corner, continuing to follow up on details and send out inquiries for other potential clients. He had to start somewhere. Cold-calling was not his forte, but he knew a few people and was hoping one of them might be willing to give him a chance. The biggest thing he could do was to make sure Trevor’s ads turned out wonderfully. Then he could use that to help promote himself.

“I think I’m done, unless you need something else,” Todd said to Brent.

Duncan finished what he was working on, then closed his computer and packed his things away. His phone tinged, and he hesitated, not wanting it to be Corrina again. She had continued messaging him for the last hour, trying to engage him in conversation, but he said they could talk later and he had let her last messages go unanswered.

Instead, it was his mother, and he called her back.

“Todd is bringing me to therapy and then home,” he reminded her right away, figuring she was worried and might have forgotten where he was.

“Your aunt is having some sort of crisis,” his mother said, sounding frazzled. “Are you going to be okay here on your own? I have to go see what it is she needs.” She used the tone that said she figured it was some sort of overreaction.

“I’ll be fine, Mom. Don’t worry. It’s no problem. Just don’t let her talk you into something she isn’t interested in doing herself.” Duncan was really starting to understand how his aunt used his mother from time to time.

“I won’t,” she sighed. “But she can be pushy.”

“Stand firm, Mom, and I’ll see you when you get home.” He ended the call and put his phone away. He gathered his bag and placed it on his lap. Then he said goodbye to everyone and followed Todd out to his car. “I was thinking that if you wanted, we could practice for the commercial. That way you’ll know what to expect and won’t be nervous.”

“Okay. But can we do that tomorrow? I’m tired and just want to get something to eat and relax awhile.”

They headed for therapy. At one of the stop signs, Duncan touched Todd’s arm and noticed how warm he was. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yes. Just tired.” Todd turned and smiled at him before continuing through the intersection.

Duncan nodded and didn’t try to make conversation. Instead he sat back and let Todd drive until they reached the center. They went inside, and Todd slumped in a chair in the lobby. Duncan tried to bring him a cup of water from the cooler but ended up spilling it on his pants leg. Giving up, he wheeled himself into the little room the therapist used and waited for Andrew.

He spent the next hour learning how to do things for himself. This session concentrated on tasks like getting dressed and maneuvering himself in and out of the chair. While Duncan had pretty much mastered those things, he still found himself in situations where he had difficulty.

“And I hate it when Mom moves the chair away from the bed,” Duncan told Andrew. “What if I have to get up in the night?”

“You know you can wear the condom catheters,” Andrew said gently, as though it wasn’t a big deal to have to wear something on his dick just to keep from wetting himself. He’d worn them every night for months and didn’t want to go back to them. “I know they aren’t glamorous, but it doesn’t mean you’re taking a step backward.”

“No? I make sure my chair is right by my bed at night, and that’s where it should be when I need it. Is that so danged hard?” Duncan shifted in the chair. “Sometimes I think she does it to keep me dependent on her.”

Andrew tilted his head to the side. “Do you really think that’s what’s going on?”

Duncan colored and shook his head. “No. But it’s so frustrating.”

“Then take charge. You’re obviously frustrated with some things. But I think that stems from you feeling like you don’t have enough say in your life. You were used to being independent, and now you’re living at home with your mom again. That’s hard to get used to. So when you go to bed, place the chair where you want it and put the brake on. It will stay where you put it. Do the same with your other things. Put them where it works for you and keep them there.”

“Yes. I need to do that.” His mom was doing his laundry, and she put it away where she thought it should go. It seemed like a small thing, but sometimes he had a hard time finding his stuff. He needed to take more of his life into his own hands again. Duncan smiled and nodded. He already felt better.

Duncan and Andrew worked through their material for the session, and once it was over, Duncan felt more confident with some aspects of his life.

Wheeling himself back to the lobby, he found Todd half slumped in the chair, eyes closed. “Ready to go,” Duncan said gently, taking Todd’s hand.

Todd stirred and smiled as he came to. “Okay.” He got up, and Duncan led the way out to Todd’s old car. He shifted himself inside, and Todd took care of his chair. Then they were off for the short drive home.

“My mother is out for the evening. My aunt has some sort of crisis. I was thinking it’s my turn to cook dinner for you.” Duncan patted Todd’s leg. “I know you’re tired, though, and I’ll understand if you just want to go home.” He hated the idea, but he wasn’t going to require that Todd stay with him if he didn’t feel up to it.

“That’s really nice of you.” Todd stroked his hand and then pulled into the drive.

Once inside, Duncan got Todd resting on the sofa and went into the kitchen. The room wasn’t set up for him. A lot of things were in the upper cabinets, and that wasn’t going to work at all. Duncan got out what he needed for a salad and started cutting up vegetables. When he had that together, he went through the refrigerator and ended up making grilled cheese sandwiches because it was what he could get his hands on. Duncan frowned. He could hardly believe that about the only thing he could make for Todd was something that ridiculously simple. Still, it was what he had, so he put them together and did his best to make sure they came out golden brown.

“Todd,” he called as he took the second plate to the table and slid it into place. “I know it isn’t gourmet, but I couldn’t reach a lot of what’s in here.”

“I could have helped,” Todd said, trying to stifle a yawn.

Duncan wheeled up to the place he’d set for himself next to the one for Todd. Then he remembered he hadn’t gotten any salad dressing. He slid back and opened the refrigerator door, handed over a few bottles, and closed the door once again. Everything did take longer, and that would have frustrated him a few months ago. Now he was taking it in stride. He did notice how Todd didn’t seem impatient or try to do things for him. Todd let him do for himself.

“Are you really okay?”

“Just a little tired. I haven’t slept very well this last week.” Todd gently bumped his shoulder. “It seems I spend a lot of my nights thinking about a certain sexy guy on wheels, and it keeps me up late.”

Duncan blushed hard and nearly dropped his sandwich. “No way.” He might have considered himself sexy when he was competing and in training. Duncan had always kept himself in good physical shape—he’d had to. But months in a bed and chair meant he was a lot more sedentary, and that things tended to shift and settle. “Yeah. The wheelchair is sleek and sexy. I get it. You’ve developed a wheel fetish.” It was easier to tease than to hope that what Todd had said was real.

“Come on.” Todd bumped him again. “I don’t see the chair. Just the man in it.”

Todd set down his fork, swallowed, and then turned to him. Duncan watched every move, especially the way Todd’s tongue glided over his lips. Duncan’s breath hitched, and he forgot about his dinner and leaned nearer, not giving his reactions much thought. Maybe he’d been thinking too damn much lately and that was the problem.

Their gazes locked. Duncan moved even closer, and then Todd met him, their lips pressing together. Todd tasted of cheese, and maybe herbs from the dressing, but those paled in comparison to the heady taste underneath that sent Duncan’s pulse racing.

Before Duncan could jump or pull away, Todd’s hand slid through the back of his hair, holding him, pressing them together more firmly, adding to the frisson that sparked in the air around them.

Duncan wanted this so badly. He needed it to feel human again, like a man… to know that he could have this with someone… with Todd. Duncan wanted to be everything that Todd deserved, and sometimes that was so hard to see in the chair. But now, the way Todd kissed and held him, it was like Duncan could be anything, and for a few seconds, the chair receded and it was just the two of them. Duncan was free—Todd made him feel as though he were walking through a field in the fresh air again.

Todd pulled back, breaking the kiss, and Duncan wondered what happened. Had he done something wrong?

He cracked his eyes open to find Todd staring at him, lips turned upward and eyes shining. Todd kissed him again, practically knocking him out of the chair with his energy. Duncan held on as Todd took possession of his lips, sending him into near orbit. When Todd slowly broke the kiss this time, Duncan panted, needing something to fan his overheated skin.

“We should finish eating dinner before we have dessert.”

Duncan swallowed hard, unable to look away from the fire in Todd’s eyes. It was almost too good to be true. He nodded but didn’t return to his dinner. Todd looked so much better than food right now.

“Eat your dinner, sweetheart,” Todd prompted gently, with a grin that sent another wave of heat racing through him.

Food was the last thing on Duncan’s mind at the moment, especially since he was rock-hard, and damn, that felt so good. Of course, that lasted until Todd turned back to his dinner, leaving Duncan with just enough doubt that he turned back to his food as well, hoping things would be in working order when the time came.

He ate the final bite of his sandwich and finished his salad. Todd did the same, then took the dishes to the sink and rinsed them.

“Do you want to go right to the bedroom?” Duncan asked as weirdness and discomfort washed over him. Now that this was a possibility and likely to happen, he felt nervous. What if things didn’t work out? What if things decided to go south… physically? Duncan had scars from the surgeries trying to correct some of the damage from the accident. Would Todd like what he saw? All these questions and more raced through his mind like a NASCAR race run amok.

“Come on.” Todd gently wheeled him into the living room and set the brakes. Duncan put himself in Todd’s care, hoping he knew what to do at a time like this. Todd lifted him out of the chair, but instead of placing him on the sofa, held him cradled against his heat and warmth. “I like this.”

“What?” Duncan asked, wondering for a second if it was a control thing.

“When you’re in my arms, you’re all mine. It’s like you belong to me and no one else.”

Duncan drew him into a kiss. God, he loved the way Todd tasted, and he was thrilled to belong to him and be in his care for a while. Todd gently set him on the sofa, continuing to kiss him back onto the cushions until Duncan thought his head was going to explode.

“What if my mom comes home?” Duncan whispered.

Todd pulled back, his eyes dark and deep with passion, breath soft and panting. “Then your mother is going to get one hell of an eyeful, because I don’t intend to stop unless you tell me to.”

Duncan swallowed hard. He wanted this so much. Finally he nodded, and Todd proceeded to kiss Duncan’s breath away.

After a few minutes, Todd took a small step back. Duncan’s heart pounded like a hammer in his chest, and he needed two seconds’ reprieve or he was afraid it would explode.

“Come on, sweetheart.” Todd stood and leaned over the sofa to gently scoop Duncan into his arms and transfer him back to the chair. “I think you’ll be more comfortable in your room.” He waited as Duncan wheeled himself down the hall, opened the door, and glided inside.

Duncan’s nerves threatened to get the better of him, but he tamped them down, and as soon as Todd lifted him out of the chair, his eyes still shining, the butterflies settled and excitement took over, shoving everything else happily aside. And when Todd brought his chair right next to the bed, making sure it was there for him, Duncan’s heart skipped a beat. Yeah, it was probably stupid, but Todd cared enough to be thoughtful.

Todd walked around the bed and sat on the edge, and Duncan watched his every move. He didn’t dare look away. Todd’s eyes held him in his gaze as he slowly leaned in toward him. Todd stretched until their lips met, and he encircled Duncan in his arms. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered, keeping most of his weight on the bed.

“I’m not made of glass. I know my legs….”

Todd put a finger to his lips and shook his head. “I don’t want to crush you.”

Duncan tugged Todd down closer. “I’m fine. I want you to hold me and make love to me. As long as you’re careful….”

Todd scooted closer as they continued kissing, sliding his hand under Duncan’s shirt and along his belly, blazing a trail of heat that left Duncan trembling with building need. It had been so long since he’d been with anyone, and now his body craved the intimacy and closeness. But not just closeness—it wanted Todd. He needed him, and when Todd tugged at his shirt, gently working it off over his head, Duncan’s skin prickled in the fresh air. His nipples hardened as Todd plucked them gently.

A soft moan filled the room, and Duncan realized it came from him.

Todd paused, tugging his own shirt over his head, honey-gold skin glistening in the dying daylight coming in around the drawn curtains. He was beautiful.

Duncan traced his fingers down Todd’s chest to circle a large pink nipple. He leaned forward, sitting up to get closer to Todd.

“It’s okay,” Todd soothed, but Duncan needed to have some control, and Todd seemed willing to give it, meeting his lips and kissing him hard. “I have you.”

“But I want you,” Duncan whispered, his throat going dry.

“You can have all you want, and we have plenty of time.” Todd settled next to him, gently nudging Duncan onto his side and snuggling in close. The heat of his chest burned into Duncan’s back, warm hands gently rubbing up and down Duncan’s chest. “You need to stop worrying. With all the upper body work you’re doing, your arms and chest are sexy as all hell.” Todd stroked gently, and Duncan stretched as best he could, feeling a little like a contented cat.

He held his breath as Todd slipped his hand lower and lower, teasing just above the waistband of his sweatpants. Duncan hated wearing them, but they were a lot easier for him to get on than a pair of jeans, and at that particular moment, sweatpants with an elastic waist were his best friend in the whole world. Duncan used his arms to lift his hips, and Todd slipped the fabric lower.

Then he stopped. “You’re shaking,” Todd said softly, and Duncan realized he was. “Why are you so nervous?”

“What if things… don’t work out?”

Todd’s hand rested on the top of his hip, and he sat up, leaning over him. “I’m into you. Not your body, though it is pretty special….” He kissed Duncan’s shoulder. “Do you want to stop?”

It was clear enough that Todd didn’t. Duncan could feel his sizable arousal against his backside, and damn it all if he wasn’t fucking interested in what he had.

“No. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Todd shook his head. “Being here with you is all I could want. There is no way you could disappoint me as long as you’re happy.” He smiled, and Duncan did the same. “See? That shine in your eyes and the flush of your cheeks makes me happy.” Todd leaned closer. “The way your breath hitches when I do this….” Todd gently flicked a nipple, and Duncan moaned softly under his breath. “That’s the most beautiful sound I have ever heard, and I could listen to it all day.” He settled Duncan back on the mattress, shimmied downward, pulled off Duncan’s shoes, and then slipped off his sweats and draped them over the foot of the bed. Then he crawled up to straddle Duncan’s legs, his gaze hot and so heavy, Duncan felt it like a touch.

“Todd… I….” Duncan threw his head back, moaning as Todd ran his fingers over his cotton-covered cock. At first Duncan was mortified that he wasn’t responding, but slowly Todd worked him to full hardness and then tugged down the waistband of his briefs and sucked him between his lips.

Duncan gasped and closed his eyes. In a way, the sensation was muted but still amazing. He wasn’t as sensitive as he had been before the accident, but after a few seconds, he lifted his head, opening his eyes. His cock sliding between Todd’s luscious lips was nearly enough to take his breath away. God, that was a sight to behold, and one he’d had doubts of ever seeing.

“God.”

Todd stopped, looking up with a grin. “Is this okay?”

“It’s amazing.”

“How much loss of sensation is there?” Todd asked.

Duncan should have realized Todd would be concerned about him. “Maybe a third to half.” He hated to admit it, but that was the truth.

“Then I’ll just have to work a little harder.” Todd’s grin turned deliciously devilish, and when his lips closed around him, Duncan groaned. He felt every swirl of Todd’s tongue keenly, and it slowly stripped away his hold on his control.

“Ummm.” He gripped the bedding and moaned softly. “Sometimes… things may be difficult for me….” Duncan gave up. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered right now, with Todd taking such amazing care of him, showing him just how wonderful things could be again. He didn’t need to throw any sort of damper on it.

A tingling at the base of his skull spread all through him and then heat built under his skin. Todd slid his hands up Duncan’s belly to his nipples, tweaking and lightly pinching, adding an additional knife-edge sensation to their coupling that only heightened his arousal. Duncan gasped for air as his mouth went dry and his skin prickled all over. He clamped his eyes closed and let the amazing sensation wash over him.

His physical release was mind-blowing. Duncan felt it as though he was in a fog, but his head swam, and he tingled from head to hips. He even felt it in his feet, in a way. Once the sensation passed, he lay wrung out on the bed.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Todd kissed him, and Duncan tasted the barest hint of himself on Todd’s lips.

“I’m not so sure about that.” Still, it was amazing to know that part of his life was possible and he could help make Todd happy. “But you sure made my week.” He grinned and reached for the nightstand, pulled out a strip of condoms and some lube, then handed them both to Todd and slowly rolled over.

“How about you lie on your side,” Todd offered.

Duncan complied, startling when Todd’s bare skin pressed to him, all the way from back to butt. He reached around to stroke Todd’s impressive length, and sighed.

“Is this going to be okay?”

“Hell yes.” Duncan moaned and stroked Todd a little more firmly. “You aren’t going to hurt me at all.” He turned his head so he could look into Todd’s eyes. “I’m damned talented. Or at least I used to be. Maybe everything has dried up and….”

“Sweetheart, you are not dried up at all.” Todd kissed him right back down onto the covers as he rolled his hips away. Duncan lay still, waiting, and then jumped slightly as Todd cupped his butt. “You’re wonderful, and I can hardly believe I have you right here with me.” Todd’s voice cracked, and Duncan held his arm, pulling them closer.

Duncan shivered as Todd breached him with a finger. He felt as though it was a distance away, but the sensation was there. He stilled and closed his eyes, willing more, but knowing he was going to get what he got. He’d had some control problems early on, but he’d worked on those, so when he relaxed his muscles, Todd slipped inside him.

That was pure heaven on earth. The stretch and burn washed over him, and he quivered with excitement. Each experience was new because it was different—and because it was Todd. Duncan pressed back against Todd, holding them together, needing his touch and his closeness.

“I’m right here, sweetheart.” Todd drew him nearer and gently moved deep inside him. Duncan gasped at the sharpness, at the depth he was being touched at and held. He’d thought he would never experience this again, and here he was, in love with Todd and….

Duncan gasped—not from the way Todd held him, but from the revelation. He had fallen in love with Todd, and as they joined together, he felt Todd touch his body as well as his heart.

Duncan was coming fully to life once again, and all of that was because of the man with him right now. Duncan didn’t ever want this to end. Todd’s breathing and his erratic movements told Duncan otherwise. He met his thrusts as best he could, willing Todd to hang on even as he felt him tumble over the edge.

Ten minutes later, the front door opened and closed. Duncan groaned and tensed. His mother was home, and with Todd’s car in the driveway, it wasn’t going to take her long to figure out where he was and what he was doing.

“I need to get dressed and back in my chair so….”

“Honey. There isn’t enough time.” Todd tugged down the covers and helped Duncan get under them, and then he crawled in with him. “I’m not going to let you face the music alone.”

“Honey,” his mother called. “Where are you?”

“Mom,” Duncan said, willing his voice not to squeak. “I’m in my room…. Please don’t come in. Ummm… I’m not alone.”

Silence.

Duncan braced himself for the fallout, expecting yelling and for his mother to demand that he get dressed and explain himself.

“Mom… are you okay?”

“Yes, Duncan.” More quiet. “Are you?”

“Oh yes.” He stifled a giggle as Todd slipped his hand around his belly. “I’m fine.”

“Then good,” she said, and Duncan shook his head to make sure he’d heard right. “I trust you and Todd will be quiet and not keep the rest of the house awake all night. I’ll set some towels in the bathroom for him in the morning. Good night.”

Duncan gaped, and Todd snickered next to him and then rolled over, burying his head in the pillow, shoulders bouncing for a few seconds. “I’m beginning to think that your mother is the coolest person I’ve ever met.” He grinned like the Cheshire cat.

“Maybe, but I’m trying to figure out if that was my mother or a pod person.” He had truly expected her to go ballistic with some “none of that in my house” kind of thing.

“You’re an adult, and so is she.” Todd snuggled closer, his hand making little circles on Duncan’s belly. “Just relax and don’t get yourself uptight.”

Duncan propped himself up a little. “I’ll try, but how come you’re not, with her in the next room?” That was enough to make Mr. Happy go south and never make an appearance again as far as Duncan was concerned.

“Look.” Todd became serious. “Your mom knows what we’re doing, and she’s adult enough to realize that she wants you to be happy and to have a normal, happy love life. She accepts that, and I think you need to give her some credit. Moms and dads have sex. It’s what people do—most people. So while I don’t really want to belabor this point, I think you should be grateful for the gifts you’re given.” He raised his eyebrows, and Duncan lay back down, closing his eyes, and nodded. He tugged Todd closer, determined to do just that. “Good, because if I think of it too much…,” Todd teased, and when Duncan snorted, they ended up shushing each other before settling down.