Chapter 7

 

 

“ARE YOU sure this is a good idea?” his mother asked for the fifth time as Duncan finished packing his overnight bag.

“It’s a great idea. I need to be on my own, and I’ve made the reservation. The room is fully accessible, and when I called, they promised me there is enough space for me to get around in the room.” Chicago hotel rooms were notoriously small. “I’ll be perfectly fine. It’s a nice hotel, and Todd is going to be with me.” Duncan’s eyes widened as he suddenly understood what was going on. “Why don’t you call some of your friends and arrange to go out?”

“I….”

Duncan closed his bag and placed it on his lap before gliding over to his mother. “I know how much of your effort you’ve spent on me ever since the accident. But it’s time for me to move on with my life, and I want the same for you.” Duncan held his breath for a second. “Have you thought about dating?”

She put her hands on her hips. “Really? We’re having this conversation right now?”

“Nope.” Duncan slid back. “This is your business. I’m just saying I’d be happy for you if you decided to.” If he wanted his mother to respect his private life, then he needed to do the same for her. “Dad’s been gone a while, and I want you to have someone.”

She smirked. “There is someone who has asked me out on occasion, but I always said no. You know Matt Connell from church? He and his wife divorced two years ago, once the kids were grown. She’s in Texas, and he’s here. I like him, so….”

“Do you need me to get his number?” Duncan teased as he glided past her and down the hall. “Just have some fun. I’ll be back tomorrow evening.” Through the big living room window, he saw Todd pull into the drive, so he got an umbrella, then pulled open the front door. Todd hurried up to meet him and held the umbrella so Duncan could use both hands to navigate the ramp. “Mom, I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

“Have a good time,” she said, waving as Duncan glided down the ramp.

He got into the car as quickly as he could in order to keep from getting too wet. He was sweating a little in the humidity by the time he got into the car. Thankfully Todd’s air conditioner worked pretty well, and by the time they reached the freeway, it was blowing plenty of cool air.

“The hotel is right downtown,” Duncan said. “I printed out directions, though it shouldn’t be too hard to find.” He sat back, trying not to get too excited. They had a good hour and a half or longer ride ahead of them.

“Cool. I got us tickets for the planetarium show this afternoon, and I thought we could find somewhere to eat tonight.” Todd sped up as they reached the outskirts of Milwaukee and traffic lessened.

After forty minutes, they crossed the state line into Illinois, and Duncan couldn’t suppress his sigh.

“What?” Todd asked.

Duncan pointed to the huge sign. “I used to go there all the time when I was a kid. Dad’s company had their summer party at Great America, and he and I used to go on all the roller coasters together. It was our thing. Most of the time, Mom didn’t go at all. She never liked any of the rides, so Dad and I would have a day of it, just him and me.” Duncan sniffed. “I still miss him.”

“Of course you do,” Todd said. “Which reminds me that I’m going to need to visit my dad and stepmother. Do you want to come along this fall? It’s a long drive to Florida, so I’ll understand if you don’t want to come. I have to go before it gets too cold and I start training.”

“That would be fun.” Duncan took Todd’s hand as they rode. Normally, being in the car made his back ache. Since he’d lost muscle tone in his lower body, he sometimes didn’t sit as straight as he used to. But the seat in Todd’s car had the perfect angle, and he was happy being with him. Maybe that blocked out any discomfort.

Traffic picked up again as they neared the city and then nearly ground to a halt at the interchange for downtown. Soon the Sears Tower—now the Willis Tower—came into view. Duncan smiled, as the name always reminded him of Die Hard, and he thought of it as the “Bruce” Tower.

“Not too long now.”

“You’d be surprised.” Todd pulled his hand away to put both of them on the steering wheel as the number of cars increased even as the speed remained fast. Approaching downtown, they entered stop-and-go traffic until they reached their exit and headed for the lakeshore, following the GPS.

“I had enough points so we could stay at the Marriott. I sort of splurged.” Duncan usually stayed at Courtyards and lower-priced hotels in the chain, but they still added to his points, and he’d been banking them for a long time.

Todd pulled up and helped him get out. Duncan held their overnight bags on his lap and fished out his handicapped parking hang tag, handed it to Todd, and went inside while Todd parked the car.

Duncan got them checked in and was waiting by the elevator when Todd joined him.

“You took care of the parking too?”

“They offered it to me.” Duncan didn’t think too much about it and pressed the button.

They rode up to their room, holding hands, alone in the elevator car. When they reached their room, Duncan excused himself to use the bathroom. After taking care of business, he glided out of the room. Todd sat on the edge of the bed, staring at his phone.

“There’s an email from the Bobsled and Skeleton Federation. Apparently someone reported me to them for a violation of some kind. They want to talk to me.”

“Did they say why? What sort of violation?” Duncan rolled over and placed his hand on Todd’s knee.

Todd shook his head. “It’s a form email that tells me nothing at all. They gave a phone number.” He made the call, lifting his phone to his ear. Duncan waited, Todd’s leg bouncing anxiously. “Yes, I received an email about a possible rule violation. Todd Hamilton.” He waited, nodding his head, while Duncan’s heart raced. He hoped to hell he hadn’t done something with the commercial that had broken one of the federation’s protectionist rules.

The federation made rules that governed the sport, which was good and hopefully made the sport more competitive and safer. Duncan agreed with those goals, but the federation and the US Olympic Committee also had a bunch of rules set to ensure they remained in control of everything they possibly could. That would be fine if they helped the athletes out, but they didn’t. The USOC and the various athletic federations took in large amounts of money, paid their executives huge salaries, and very little was given to the athletes themselves.

It made Duncan angry. He’d been in the same position as Todd before the accident, and it sucked. Part of what he received in disability still went to pay off his old training debts.

“What did they say?” Duncan asked once Todd hung up.

“That something was reported and that was all. They said the email was a standard notification and they usually don’t amount to anything, especially since this report didn’t come with any details and was called into their offices anonymously. The lady said they get dozens of these a week and most come to nothing.” He sighed and lay back on the bed.

“Did she think it was malicious?” Duncan asked.

Todd sat back up. “She didn’t say that, but she hinted at it, I guess.” He shrugged and stood. “Come on. We aren’t going to let something like that ruin our weekend. This is nothing. Clive got one because someone was angry with him at work and decided to call something in on him. They looked into it, found no validity, and that was it. I haven’t done anything wrong.” He smiled, and Duncan nodded slowly.

“I never thought you had.” Duncan took his hand. “I’m going to get my things set out and then we can go have some fun. Okay?” He needed a minute to settle his nerves. “Did they say anything more about who reported it?”

“Nope. It came from a Yahoo account that had no real information.” Todd rested his hands on his shoulders. “Whoever did it was someone with an ax to grind about something, and I doubt they are going to get very far.” Todd’s words said one thing, but his tone rang clear that this was worrying him. It would have worried Duncan if he was in his position. “Let’s go have some fun.”

 

 

DUNCAN WAS excitedly exhausted by the time they returned to the room. His arms ached from propelling himself, but he’d refused Todd’s offers of help. If he was going to try to get into shape to race, then he needed to build up his arms.

“The planetarium was everything I hoped it would be.” They’d taken a journey to each of the planets without leaving their seats.

“I’m glad.” Todd’s smile was forced, and Duncan wanted to smack whoever had tried creating trouble for him. “I need a minute. I’ll be right out.” He went into the bathroom and closed the door.

Duncan turned on the television, ignoring a rerun of The Nanny until he got a little worried. “You okay?” he asked, after turning down the volume. Todd came out of the bathroom, worry in his expression. “Did you hear something more?”

“No. I just keep wondering who would have something in for me and what they could have thought I did. We both looked over the rules very carefully before we made the commercial, so if it’s that….” He plopped on the edge of the bed. “No one associated with it would have turned me in for doing it. And there are no rules against it. Those were removed years ago.”

“I know. It’s bothering me that we don’t know who could have done this.”

Todd got to his feet and paced the room. “When I was younger, I watched my first Olympic skeleton broadcast and knew that was what I wanted to do. It looked like such fun, and the speed….”

Duncan smiled, knowing that feeling so well. Even now he still craved it. Duncan loved competing, and winning was pretty damned awesome, but he loved being able to go fast, feeling the wind on his body, most of all. “There’s nothing for you to worry about. They’ll look into it, find out there’s nothing, and then it will die.” He took Todd’s hand.

“I know. It’s just that I’ve put so much of my energy and heart into this. That someone would attack my sport, what I do, is like them hitting me. Who could do something like this?”

“I don’t know. If it has something to do with the commercial, there are a limited number of people who know anything about it. Did anyone at work say anything?”

“They were all excited.”

“Anyone jealous?” Duncan asked, even though he doubted it. The guys had been really keyed up. “Maybe someone at one of the other garages who thinks they should do it.” Now he was plucking at straws, but he wanted to help.

“I don’t know.” Todd shrugged and groaned for a few seconds. Then his shoulders set and his eyes cleared. “There isn’t anything I can do about it, and as far as I know, I’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve always played by the rules. I’m not going to change now.” He stood. “Where did you want to go for dinner?”

Duncan shrugged. He still had the money he’d put aside for their date earlier in the week that Beverly had refused to take, but that was about it. “How about McCormick & Schmick’s? I know they’re good, though it’s a few blocks. We’ll need to get a cab or something.” He wasn’t looking forward to that. Getting in and out of cars was never particularly easy, and it was harder with a strange vehicle.

“Don’t worry. I’ll help you. I was going to suggest an Uber, but….”

“A cab will be fine. This way we can request a larger vehicle. Just let me change my shirt.” Duncan dug around in his bag and then tugged off the T-shirt he was wearing, his skin heating under Todd’s gaze. Man, he could get Duncan going faster than anyone ever had. All Todd had to do was give him that smoldering look he had down to a science, and bam! Or boing, as the case may be.

“We could order room service,” Todd offered, waggling his eyebrows.

“There will be plenty of time for… whatever it is that’s making the fire dance behind your eyes, once we have a nice dinner.”

Todd leaned close, his mouth right near Duncan’s ear. “You’re what makes me hot. Just you.” He wound his arms around Duncan’s neck and kissed him as soon as Duncan met his gaze. “Never doubt that. The sex is great, but what really builds a fire inside me is you.” He cradled Duncan’s head, gently running his fingers through Duncan’s hair, sending tingling ripples running through him.

 

 

DINNER WAS amazing, and surprisingly enough, Duncan had little trouble getting in and out of the taxi with Todd’s help. They were both careful about what they ordered, so the bill was affordable.

“I’m stuffed,” Todd whispered as they rode up in the elevator.

“Me too.” Duncan turned to Todd and momentarily forgot where he was. Todd’s gaze took his breath away. The doors slid open, but Duncan didn’t move. Only Todd stopping the doors from closing pulled him out of his daze. Duncan glided down the hall and let Todd unlock the door. Once inside, Duncan felt his nerves take over. He hated that that happened, but he was still a little uptight when it came to sex. His body had proven to still be somewhat unpredictable, even after things had been a success, and it bothered him.

“It’s okay,” Todd said, taking his hand once he’d closed the door.

“I know I’m disappointing you. Hell, I’m….” Duncan swallowed hard and turned away. He was not going to concentrate on what might go wrong just because things didn’t always go well in the dick department.

“Hey. You’re still recovering.” Todd slipped his arms under him, lifted Duncan out of the chair, and carefully placed him on the bed. “And things are getting better, you know that. So give your body a chance to heal, and spend less time worrying about what isn’t working.” Todd sat on the edge of the bed. “And more time enjoying what is.”

Todd lifted Duncan’s shirt and drew small circles on his belly, then slid his fingers upward, blazing a heated trail across Duncan’s skin. God, this was so amazing, and Duncan both heated and shivered in the air-conditioned room. Todd circled one of his nipples, making it tingle and long for his touch.

“You’re amazingly beautiful.” Todd leaned over him, tongue circling and then lips sucking at his chest. Duncan gasped and groaned, needing more so badly. That felt amazing, but his body didn’t react.

Duncan closed his eyes, willing himself to feel what Todd was doing to him, the energy that flowed through him. But nothing was happening, which only added to Duncan’s frustration. He tried to put it out of his head but got absolutely nowhere.

“Relax,” Todd whispered as he pulled away. “You’re as tight as a board. It’s like you’re waiting for something when you should be in the moment.”

Duncan expected Todd to give up. Hell, it took him fifteen minutes just to get dressed in the morning. Everything he did took so much time, and nothing seemed to want to work well at all. Fuck it to hell, he wanted to crawl in a hole and hide.

Todd lay down and gathered Duncan in his arms. “Nothing needs to happen tonight. I’ll lie here next to you and hold you all night long if that means I get to just be with you.” Todd held him a little tighter. “Sex is pretty awesome, but being with the person you love is more important.”

Duncan gasped, staring into Todd’s deep blue eyes. “You… love me?” Damn it all.

“Yes.” Todd ran the back of his hand over Duncan’s cheek. “And it has nothing to do with whether you walk again or not, or how many commercials you get me. It’s because you have the kindest, most caring heart of anyone I’ve ever known. You helped take care of me. I was coming to the end of my rope and wondering if I should simply give up training and get on with my life. Not only did you encourage me, but you helped find a way that I might be able to. You came to my rescue.”

“I didn’t do anything. Not really.”

Todd straddled his legs. “How can you say that?” Todd stared at him, then took his hands. “I know that you long to be able to ride the runs like you did before. I can see it in your eyes whenever you talk about it. That’s part of why I try not to bring it up. I know how I’d feel if it was lost to me. And yet here you are, making it possible for me to have another season and a chance at the dream.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Duncan asked.

“And that’s why I love you. There isn’t an ounce of resentment in you.” Todd squeezed Duncan’s hands.

“But….” Okay, maybe Todd was right about some things. “How can you love me? I’m….”

Todd’s eyes widened, and he leaned closer. “If you say only part of a man or some such foolishness, I’m going to turn you over and spank your tight little butt.”

Duncan chuckled, then grinned. “Maybe I’d like that.” He winked.

“Is that what you want?” Todd asked cautiously.

Duncan shook his head. “I only want you.” He wound his arms around Todd’s neck and drew him close. “I thought this… would never happen for me.” He sighed. “I still don’t understand how you can put up with… well, everything… but I have to stop questioning it.” And he needed to quit expecting it to end. His heart had opened to Todd a while ago, but this was the moment he accepted it. “I love you too. So very much.” He was so choked up, his throat ached. That Todd had picked a moment when his body seemed to let him down touched his heart and made him feel loved, cared for, and valued.

“How about I get us undressed and we climb into bed? It’s just the two of us. I think we should make the most of it.” Todd helped Duncan out of his clothes before stripping himself, giving Duncan an amazing view of Todd’s lean, muscular, athletic body. Duncan pulled the covers up over his chest, trying to hide, as he looked at Todd’s near physical perfection.

Todd made sure his chair was right next to the bed and then turned out the lights. Duncan could see his naked form moving in the room, with the city lights peeking in around the window curtains. He wanted to die, crawl in a hole, and never come out again. He sighed and lay on his back, staring at the ceiling as feelings of uselessness crept over him like pond slime.

Then Todd rolled toward him, sliding his hand across Duncan’s belly, slipping close to him, his heat enveloping Duncan, pushing away the darkness inside his mind and replacing it with fresh air and a spring breeze. Just like that, Duncan understood what being in love meant. It wasn’t the headiness or the way Todd made his heart beat faster just by being in the room. Yes, he did all that, but it was Todd’s ability to shed light in the dark thoughts that crept up from within and to make everything feel okay again. He didn’t need words or a long conversation—just a touch, a single gesture, and the world was back on its axis. All Duncan could hope was that he would be able to do that for Todd someday.

“Duncan,” Todd whispered, drawing closer. Duncan turned his head, and Todd kissed him, harder and more passionately by the second. Duncan whimpered under his breath, trying to still the sound but unable to. Todd pulled it out of him before Duncan could stop it. “Roll over.”

It took him a few seconds, but he rolled onto his side, and Todd pressed against him, spooning him close. “That’s really nice.” Duncan’s voice broke. He did his best to stop it, but the question just came out. “Why did this happen to me?” he finally asked. He’d been dying to know that answer for months and yet afraid to ask the question. “I….” He drew his words to a stop because even though he’d asked the question, there were no answers. “I asked the shrink that once and got some bullshit answer.” Duncan shifted his weight and his body turned in the bed, legs following the rest of him. Todd backed away to give him room, then returned, pressing right to him.

“Probably because there is no answer. This doesn’t happen as a punishment for anyone. God, if it did, I know plenty of awful, mean, beautiful people who should spend the rest of their lives battling a terrible skin disease.”

Duncan chuckled slightly at Todd’s attempt at humor. “I mean it.”

“So do I. Things don’t happen like this because of something we did. It happened because it happened.” He cupped Duncan’s cheeks in his hot hands. “I really wish I had some sort of grand cosmic plan that I could cite to say that because you got hurt, all these good things will happen, but I don’t. You got hurt because you got hurt. There isn’t a reason, and now we’ll deal with the aftermath, together. You will get stronger, and you’ll be a success in whatever you want to be. I just know it.”

Duncan saw him smile. “I like to think that’s true. I’ve been thinking a lot about racing.”

“I checked the GoFundMe page, and we can look into getting you a racing chair. I looked online and found a wheelchair racing club. You could contact them, at least meet the guys and things, if you wanted.”

“I think I want to join a gym. The insurance company will pay for it, and I can build up my upper body strength.” Duncan sniffed slightly as his emotions threatened to get the better of him, so pleased that the topic had shifted, though he hadn’t expected to be having this conversation with Todd, in bed, on the first night they truly had all to themselves.

“I know. This isn’t what I expected to be talking about tonight,” Todd said, as though he could read his mind, “but what’s important is being here with you. Just me and you and no one else. The rest of it will happen when it happens.” Todd slipped away and got out of bed, padding around to the bathroom. “Do you need anything to drink? I brought some water and juice in my bag. I also have a few snacks.”

“Old movie marathon?” Duncan suggested, and Todd got the drinks and food, then returned to the bed. Duncan turned on the television and found TCM. The announcer was talking as Todd turned the volume up a little.

“… and now, Sunset Boulevard.”

Todd scooted closer, putting his arm around Duncan’s shoulders after Duncan propped himself up with pillows. Todd handed him some water and a chewy granola bar as the movie started with the body floating in the pool. Duncan leaned against Todd, kissing him on the cheek, and they shared a smile. Maybe happiness was just this simple.

 

 

DUNCAN HADN’T made it all the way through the movie before falling to sleep in Todd’s arms. But he woke, jumping, to a crack and boom from outside. It took him a few seconds before he realized it was a storm and not a plane crashing into the building.

“It’s all right,” Todd soothed. “It’s been going on for a while. I thought you were going to sleep through it.”

“I was having weird dreams, and I guess I thought the noise was part of it.” Duncan blinked and coughed slightly. Then he turned to Todd, running his hand over his chest, skipping his fingers over his now-hardened nipple.

“Duncan… I….” Todd’s voice was deep either with sleep or passion. It was difficult for Duncan to know which, but he pulled Todd down to him as another crack of thunder rumbled the building, energy crackling the air, rippling right through Duncan’s body. “Ohhh.” Todd returned the kiss, his hand exploring down Duncan’s chest, then gripping Duncan’s shaft.

Duncan quivered and groaned softly into the darkness split by flashes of lightning. The wind howled outside, rain splashing the windows. “Todd….” He hated the unpredictability of his body, but he wasn’t going to second-guess when things were working. He tugged Todd to him as Todd gently slid his leg between Duncan’s, stroking his butt. Duncan loved the way Todd held him in his powerful arms.

“What do you want?” Todd whispered, the words nearly cleaved in two by a sharp clap of thunder.

“I have stuff in my kit,” Duncan gasped, disappointed that Todd was going to have to leave the bed, but he wanted to be with him, joined together. Todd leaped out of bed, and Duncan rolled onto his side, getting comfortable, just as Todd slipped back into bed.

“Is this okay?” Todd asked, pressing to him, arms wrapped around Duncan’s chest, even as Duncan shook.

He nodded, arched his back, and turned to kiss Todd. Damn, he loved his chest pressed to him. “Make love to me,” he gasped as Todd stroked his cock slowly, building heat between them. Duncan was so ready for him that he barely lay still as Todd prepared him, and once Todd breached him, Duncan pushed back, taking all of Todd in a whoosh of heat and mind-numbing ecstasy. “Yes!”

“Do you want me to be gentle?”

“Fuck no!” Duncan growled, and Todd pressed to him. Their lovemaking was athletic—well, as athletic as Duncan could be—and it made him feel alive again, like he could have what he really needed. In bed, Duncan didn’t remember being timid or slow. He had loved energetic, vibrant, not rough but strong, powerful sex, and damn it all if that wasn’t what Todd gave him. “Jesus!”

“Is that bad?” Todd asked, pausing.

“Hell no. It’s amazing.” Duncan held Todd’s arms, pushing back to meet his thrusts as best he could. “Don’t you dare stop.” He tugged one hand away to encircle his cock, only to have it pushed aside as Todd gripped him and tugged to the beat of their frenetic lovemaking. This was what he needed, and his body, head to toe, seemed to respond. Yes, he knew a lot of what he was feeling was all in his head, but who gave a fuck. He was flying high on Todd, the storm, the crackling of energy in the room—all of it drove him higher. Yet he held off until Todd’s breathing matched his own near frantic pace. Then, head spinning, eyes popping, he tumbled into sweet oblivion, pulling Todd right along with him.

They held still, Duncan’s head floating as the storm continued to rage and then slowly died away. The claps of thunder became more distant as the beat of Duncan’s heart slowed, and the warm afterglow slowly faded into the heat of soft, sweet love.

“Can I order one of those storms to go?”