~E~

"Abbie, is that really you? I haven't heard from you in ages!"

Abbie's infectious laugh trickles down the work phone as I wait for my next Thursday morning patient. She's my closest friend from college. "I know. I'm a shitty friend lately. I've been meaning to call but work is crazy busy."

"You're not a shitty friend. Life is busy. How is your job going?" I close my laptop as I lean back in my chair. Ten minutes until my next patient arrives. Plenty of time for gossip.

"Great. I scored a big promotion a month ago; the one I'd hoped for. I worked my ass off climbing this damned corporate ladder. With more money comes more headaches, so I've been learning the ropes and putting out fires along with sixty-hour work weeks."

Abbie studied business in college, her dreams of running a big corporation not too far out of reach now. I'm sure she'll be heading that fortune 500 company she works for sooner than she thinks.

"Sixty hours? Damn. All in the office?"

"Yep. I practically live here now. How's your practice going? I've heard good things."

"Really? It's great. I have a steady client base and there are always new patients available. Plus, my coworkers are nice and I love working for myself and not having to answer to anyone."

"That's awesome, Em. You deserve it. A couple of my employees have said the practice is nice and friendly."

"Oh, yeah? That's great to hear."

"So listen, there's a reason I'm calling."

"Wait—don't tell me. A boyfriend?"

Abbie laughs. "I wish. My luck isn't there when it comes to men. I've only gone out a few times, mainly due to work. But there's a speed dating event this weekend and that's why I was calling."

"Whoa, wait." I say, interrupting her before she can continue. "Speed dating?"

"Yes, and I want you to come with me. Unless you've found someone?"

"Ha, yeah, no luck for this girl, either. But, speed dating? I don't know..."

"Come on, Em! It'll be fun! A new experience. I've gone several times and had a blast. Even if you don't find someone to date, you still meet a lot of new people. Plus, we need to hang out. I've been having Emma withdrawals. I need my free therapy, you know."

I laugh. "Is that all I'm good for?"

Abbie chuckles. "Of course not. I love you and your advice."

"I'm glad someone does. I'll think about the speed dating event and let you know. We could get dinner and drinks, instead."

"Let's be adventurous! Come on, Em, please?"

I mull over the decision in my head. What will it hurt? Get out there and have some fun.

"We can ask Sarah, too." Abbie says while I debate. "Em?"

"Sorry, I'm here. I'm thinking, can't you hear the wheels turning?"

"Oh boy, watch out."

"I'd love to ask Sarah but she's dating a new guy."

"Ahh! Really? I need details."

My work phone buzzes and Faye's name flashes. Must be my next patient.

"Hold on one second," I say to Abbie as I pick up the receiver. "Yes, Faye?"

"Hi Emma, your next appointment is here." Faye says.

"Okay, I'll be right out. Thanks." I hang up and go back to Abbie.

"I've gotta go. Duty calls. I'll let you know by tomorrow, okay?"

"All right, Em. I'm hoping you say yes. I'll be bugging you. I need to know about Sarah, too!" She laughs as she hangs up. Abbie was always the funny, adventurous, outgoing one of my friends in school. She would have us all in stitches over her jokes and crazy antics. It's refreshing to hear from her.

I grew up with Sarah and while she attended a local college at home, she would often come visit me and she naturally fit into my group of friends at school. Abbie and she bonded, and the three of us were together often. We had a couple of crazy spring breaks and summer vacations.

Speed dating, though? I'm not too sure.

* * *

"I'm not doing well, Emma." Connie says as soon she sits down on my office couch. Her skin is pale, her hair greasy and hanging limp around her face. Her usual put together look is gone today. Instead, she seems to have not showered in days.

"What's going on? Dan still bothering you?" I sit down across from her as I study her face.

She shakes her head but her gaze won't meet mine. Her right leg jiggles, her hands twist in her lap. Something is going on.

"Connie? Look at me, let me see your face."

"What?" She looks up at me for a brief moment but her eyes shift away again.

"You're not telling me something. Are you okay?" I stand and walk over to her, taking a seat beside her.

"I'm not doing well." Connie whispers, but doesn't offer more.

I sit there and wait. She'll tell me when she's ready. For now, my mere presence is enough to comfort her.

Her body shivers as a sob racks her body. I rub her back gently. My heart breaks for her. The clock ticks by; the minutes pass slowly.

"I... I..." Connie takes a deep breath. "I tried to end my life the other night."

"Oh, Connie." I breathe. "What happened?"

She cries for a minute before speaking again. She sniffles and hiccups as the tears continue to fall. "I took a bunch of pills, hoping I wouldn't wake up. But unfortunately, I did."

"I'm glad you did. Ending your life is final. There're no second chances."

"I don't want a second chance," Connie cries, "I want to be done with my time on Earth."

"Why? Why do you feel this way?"

"Dan won't leave me alone. He threatened to kidnap me and drag me across the country if I went to the police again."

"You can't listen to him. He's saying those things so you won't go. But, you have to. The police will protect you."

"No, they won't Emma. They won't. He will come and get me. He will find me." Connie yells as she stands. "I'm not safe anywhere. I'm scared, I'm sad, I'm alone. I'm always alone, except when Dan comes over. He puts his nasty hands all over me... and I... I can't fight him off."

I stand and take Connie's hand. "Connie, listen to me. Let me help you."

"No." She rips her hand from my grasp. She heads to the door but I dart in front of her, blocking her way.

"I need to go. I have to get out of here." Connie says, her eyes frantic.

"No, wait, let's talk about this." I go to take her hand, but she screams and cries as she cowers to the floor. What has he done to her?

Someone knocks on my door and I jump. Connie is on the floor in a fetal position, her cries loud. Anxiety courses through me; my palms fill with sweat.

"Emma? Is everything okay in there?" Knox's voice calls through the door. Shit. This looks bad, very bad.

I open the door and for some odd reason, relief floods through me. I back away to let Knox in. He glances down at Connie then back up at me, his eyes full of questions. He leans over her as I shut the door.

"We need to call the hospital." I say as Knox kneels down next to Connie.

"Suicidal?" Knox asks and I nod. Tears prick my eyes as the enormity of the situation crashes over me.

I rush to my desk and lift the phone. I press the speed dial for the psych hospital in the city and wait for the call to connect. After speaking with an ER nurse, I arrange for an ambulance to come and collect Connie.

I hang up and turn to see Knox speaking in hushed tones as he rubs Connie's back to comfort her. She doesn't move or respond but Knox continues to whisper to her. My heart melts towards Knox while it aches for Connie.

The next ten minutes become a blur as the ambulance and team of staff from the hospital pull in. Questions are asked in every direction and I do my best to answer. Knox stands by me the entire time; his mere presence comforting.

Once they clear out, I fall onto my couch. "Shit," I mutter, as I rub my hands along my face. Exhaustion runs through me. Guilt rears its ugly head as it digs it way inside me deeper and deeper.

I don't realize Knox is sitting next to me until I feel his warm hand on my back. He rests it there without moving, without saying a thing. Tingles run down my back but I ignore them. Questions overload my brain and I close my eyes in attempt to ward them off.

What if I had helped her more? What if I had seen the signs sooner? Would she have tried to kill herself? Would she feel the way she does?

She'd been doing better; she'd been taking her meds...

"Emma?"

I look up to see Knox studying me, his mind analyzing what he can't see. I know those tricks, doc.

"It's not your fault." Knox says.

"What?" My mouth drops open slightly. He reads me like a book.

"It's not your fault. You did the best you could with her."

"It is my fault, Knox. I've been working with her for so long; I thought she was on her way to getting better. There's something I missed, something I didn't see..."

Knox interrupts me. "Don't do that. Don't beat yourself up over the what ifs. People can seem better or even be better, but one small thing in their life triggers the ugly and they're back to the beginning."

I let Knox's information sink in. He's right, I know he is. He rubs my back and the tingles go into overdrive. He must feel it too because seconds later he pulls away and rubs his hand on his thigh like he's trying to wipe something off.

"She'll be okay, Emma. The psych hospital will take good care of her. You did the right thing."

"I hope so." I whisper. I take a deep breath and glance at the clock. I had Faye cancel the rest of my morning appointments due to the crisis and now it's lunch time.

"Want to grab some lunch?" Knox asks. How does he keep reading my mind?

"I'd love to." I say before I can stop myself.

* * *

A half hour later, the mood is somber over the table Knox and I share. We eat, neither one of us saying much.

"This career is a lot harder than I thought it would be." Knox says, and I look up as I stop eating. My hands move to my lap as my fingers press together.

"It is. Our help isn't always enough. That's the sad part."

Knox sips his water as he does that therapist-let-me-analyze-your-brain look. "We can only do so much. I learned that the hard way."

"How long have you been practicing?" I thread my fingers together and jiggle my leg. Knox ignites a fire in me, a heat stirs in my body.

His clean cut hair, his hard jaw line, a bit of 5 o'clock shadow.... it’s hard to tear my eyes away.

"I did a lot of volunteering while in college. It helped me to learn, in a way. I would volunteer my time at the psych hospital, shadowing other doctors and helping them throughout their day. Eventually, I got a job at a community mental health center, gaining my hours for school credit, and I worked there until I decided it was time to venture on my own."

"How was your time at the community center? I heard those were tough." I smooth down my hair and busy my hands with trying to finish the remainder of my meal.

"It was in some ways. Interesting people, lots of different issues. I'd say more substance abuse cases due to the location and easy access, but I learned a lot working there. Okay, enough about me. How about you?"

I pause, my fork suspended in mid-air. "I did some time in the community center as well, but a lot of my school credit hours came from working side by side with my father's friend. He ran his own practice, had his doctorate degree in psychology, and taught me an endless amount of information." I take a sip of water before continuing. "I worked there for a few years and gained my own patients who then followed me when I opened my own practice."

"Do you like working for yourself?"

I nod. "Yes, it keeps me busy. A little too busy at times."

"How's your mom doing? And, that sister of yours?" He chuckles and I can't help but smile. The anxious tension has lifted, the air warmer.

"Really? They made that much of an impression on you?"

Knox finishes the last of his sandwich. "Well... do I really have to answer that?"

I laugh as my mood lifts. "They're mortifying. I haven't spoken to either one of them. I'm sorry you had to see all of their crazy drama."

"I like crazy drama. To a certain extent. Better than a boring life, right?"

"I'm not too sure about that. I think I'd rather have a boring life." I pop the last of my sandwich in my mouth, washing it down with a sip of water. No rules, no overbearing mother... "They constantly butt their noses into my business."

"Have you tried talking to them?"

I give him a look that screams, Really? "Am I not a therapist who talks to people all day?"

He holds his hands up, his face lighting up with his sexy smile. "You never know. Talking to your family about problems is a lot harder than talking to a stranger about their problems."

He's right again. What is it with this guy?

"I'm afraid they'll never butt out. It's too much pressure all the time. Follow my rules, date him, wear this, don't eat that. I can barely breath some days."

"Rules? What rules?"

I sigh. "Never mind. Forget I even brought it up."

Knox doesn't speak. Instead, he watches me and I shift in my seat. I feel my skin heat, the warmth traveling up my neck and over my ears.

"I know it's probably not my place to say this, but no one controls you but you. Whatever these rules are, if you don't like them, don't follow them."

If only it were that easy. My mother would have a world class fit. I'd probably be banished from the family; a black sheep scorned. "I wish it were that simple."

"It is that simple. Emma, listen, I..."

I cut him off. "Knox, while I appreciate your sentiment, it's easier said than done. My mother is a difficult person and sometimes it's easier to keep the peace."

"At the expense of your own happiness?"

"Who says I'm unhappy?" I cross my arms.

"I didn't say you were. I'm asking you." Knox rubs his chin, his sexy stubble darkening as his skin turns red from the friction.

I sigh in exhaustion. Am I happy? Yes, I mean, I guess I am. But am I really? Don't I want the white picket fence with the two children and a loving home? Does that shit even exist? Is anyone truly happy? I help people feel better all the time. Maybe it's time to look at myself.

"I don't know, Knox. My life is complicated."

"Let me help you un-complicate it." He touches my hand and I jump as the spark shoots straight down my spine. My entire face burns now; I must look like a tomato. Why is he so kind to me? Should I just tell him? Explain the rules to him?

More importantly, why? Why does this man break the rules but at the same time have an effect on me I can't figure out?

I pull my hand away, unable to think straight when his skin touches mine. "My mother has these dating rules..."

~K~

"Dating rules? What in the hell are dating rules?" I ask. Her mother has dating rules for her? What kind of crazy bullshit is that?

Maybe she's religious or maybe her parents are very old school. Hear her out, man.

"It sounds fucked up, right? I know. Everyone tells me it is." She shrugs her shoulders and holds out her hands, palms face up. "But, it's how I was raised. It's ingrained in me to think about these rules and base decisions on them."

I nod my head. She has a good point. It's almost like a cultural tradition someone is brought up with. Dating rules, though? I don't know. Love isn't meant to follow rules.

There are arranged marriages and families putting pressure to date similar to yourself, but from what I can gather so far, Emma's mother and sister go overboard. I'm still in disbelief of her sister spying on her. Who does that? Apparently, they do.

"Okay, I have to know—what are the rules?"

Emma goes on to explain them and as I listen I try to hold in my disagreements. I bite my tongue when she explains the ones about race, money, education. How presumptuous of her mother.

Times are different. Those issues shouldn't matter. Besides, love is blind half the time. How can you help who you fall in love with?

"Knox?" Emma interrupts my thoughts.

"I'm trying to absorb it all. Some things I can understand." I go on to explain. "A lot of older generations don't believe in sex before marriage or living together. The ones I don't understand are dating within your race or class, education and money wise."

Emma's eyes dart around and she fidgets with her hands. "I'm not sure about those either. I'm an open person; I accept everyone for who they are regardless of their skin color. It wasn't easy to have those types of beliefs when my father, mother, and sister didn't. I would push the thoughts away and appease my mother. I couldn't wait to escape her house. As soon as I hit college, I never returned home to live."

Her voice draws me in as does her story. I'm fascinated by the way she speaks, how she's animated with her hands, and how her hair is swept back from her face, a few small wisps loose. I'm entranced by her words, her memories.

I can't pull my eyes away from her lips... that mouth... that kiss...

The waitress fills our glasses and clears our plates, breaking my stare. "Do you follow these rules when you date?" I sip my water as I wait for her answer.

I'm intrigued to find out more, to dig inside her mind and find out all her secrets. A flame burns inside me and suddenly, I want to know everything about her.

"Yeah, for the most part. I'm beginning to wonder... oh, never mind." She waves her hand before she sips her drink.

"What? If they're bullshit?"

Emma's face jerks up, her eyes flash. Oh no, I pissed her off. Too much too soon, Knox.

I wait for a tongue lashing, but all I hear is her laughter. She's giggling into her drink like a little schoolgirl. "I'm glad I amuse you." I say.

She shakes her head as her giggles calm down. "You just hit the nail right on the head, don't you?"

"Well, someone has to, right?"

"I don't know if the rules are bullshit or not. All I know is, so far, they don't work for me."

"Shouldn't that tell you something?"

Emma's lips curl around her straw. Her lipstick coats the straw and her tongue peeks out. My cock twitches as I watch her. Her mouth is sexy as hell and I want to feel it again. All over me, all over my cock.

Down boy. She's not a good idea. Especially with all of those rules.

"Tell me about you."

My cock deflates. I don't want to talk about me. I want to keep staring at her lips as I picture them all over my body.

"What about me?" I grin.

"No girlfriend?

"Nah. I'm flying solo these days. Relationships are messy."

Emma cocks an eyebrow. "Messy, huh? I sense a story there."

"That's such a therapist thing to say."

She laughs, her face glowing. "Give me a therapist answer then."

I rub my chin as I throw her a smirk. "Yes, there's a story there. One I don't care to talk about."

"That bad, huh? Talking about it helps." Her tongue peeks out again and licks her ruby red lips. I bite back my groan. This woman has me on a rollercoaster, one minute turned on more than ever, the next analyzing her brain.

"Don't play therapist on me. I know all the tricks."

"Oh you do, do you? What might those tricks be?"

"I can't reveal that top secret info. Then, you'll know all the tricks, too."

I wink. Stop flirting Knox...

Emma glances at her phone. "We’d better get back." The moment is broken.

"Do we have to?"

Emma smiles as she stands. She reaches into her purse for her wallet.

"Whoa, whoa. Put that wallet away, I'll get it. I wouldn't be a gentleman if I didn't."

"Who said you were a gentleman?" Emma asks.

"Well," I say as I stand. "I like to think I am, though some may disagree." I dig my wallet out of my pocket while Emma laughs, the sound going straight to my head. I throw down some money to cover the check and tip. "Ready?"

Emma nods and heads out as I follow behind. We reach the truck and I open the door for her. I can't help but stare as she climbs in, her long legs and ample curves barely hidden under her thin cotton sundress.

Seeing her in my truck stirs feelings inside, feelings I don't want to have. There's something sexy about her in my truck, and my mind drifts to all of the things I want to do with her in it... christening every inch of it...

I shut her door and hop in on the other side. The engine roars to life and I glance over at the gorgeous woman next to me. Why does love have to be fucked up? Why can't it be easy? No strings, no baggage? Why does sex complicate things? Sex is just sex, right?

"Thanks, Knox. For lunch, I mean. And, for the good time. I needed to laugh."

"Anytime." I grin.

She reaches over and gives my hand a squeeze, causing me to jump in my seat. The electricity that sparks between us is strong, stronger than I've ever felt. She must feel it too because she hasn't removed her hand. Instead, she stares down at her hand on top of mine. She gently caresses the back and I press my fingers into the seat.

Stay in control... in control Knox...

I hear my mind scream in protest but I don't listen. I lean over and run my nose along the side of her cheek, my mouth brushes soft kisses along her jawline and she stiffens.

I can't resist her. She's like a forbidden fruit my mouth waters for.

I continue to caress her face with mine as I inhale her scent, branding it to my memory. She smells sweet and seductive, a perfect combination. A hint of lavender, a hint of honey.

"Knox..." She whispers but I don't stop. I can't stop.

I move up to her ear and lick her skin, the taste of it better than I'd imagined. Salty and sinful, I could feast on her all day. I dip behind her ear and down her neck.

My cock strains in my pants. Emma digs her fingernails into the back of my hand and the pain mixes with pleasure.

"Knox…" Emma says again, but before she can protest, I cover her mouth with my own, swallowing her whispers and ignoring her attempts to resist.

I need to feed my addiction. It only grows stronger and I'm too weak to resist with her so close to me.

I devour her mouth, the kiss all tongue and soft bites.

Not once does she pull away. Not once does she resist.

We kiss and kiss until our mouths are swollen and bruised. Until we break away gasping for air, because we need it, both of us panting for breath.

Only then, do I drive her back, our hands clasped together the whole ride.