Twelve-years-old

“Cole, bring me the bucket. I’ve got one!” I squeal, using my net to keep the crawdad in the water. “Hurry.”

“I’m coming. Hang on.” I look up to see him wading through the water to get to me, the blue bucket’s handle dangling from one hand.

The bottom of his gray gym shorts are soaked through, and his white t-shirt isn’t in much better shape. Then again I’m pretty well drenched, so I guess he’s still in better shape than me.

He’s got a baseball cap turned backward on his head, and unlike me he’s brave enough to walk through the creek barefoot, whereas I insist on keeping my flip flops on.

I stepped on a snake once when I was ten, and it was enough to ensure I never went barefoot again. I can still feel his slimy body under my foot and the way I narrowly missed being bitten.

“Here, let me see,” Cole says when he reaches me, taking the net from my hands. He lifts it up and smiles, his dimples showing through.

My stomach does a little flip flop, but I try to ignore it. I can’t explain it yet. I’m not sure that I fully understand it, but when Cole looks at me a certain way—I feel... God, I don’t know what I feel. Different I guess.

“You did good, Mel.” Cole beams, dropping the crawdad into the water-filled bucket.

“Thanks.” His compliment makes me really happy. Cole always has a way of making me smile.

“Guys, I don’t want to do this anymore,” Dawn whines from the edge of the creek bed.

She’s completely dry. Her white shorts and teal tank top don’t have a drop of water on them. I honestly don’t think she’s moved from that spot since we arrived. I don’t even know why she insists on coming with us if all she’s going to do is complain.

“You don’t have to stay,” Michael retorts, stepping up next to me and Cole to look at my catch.

“Dang, Mel. You got a big one.” He rubs a hand over my head, making my already messy ponytail even worse for the wear.

“It’s been a slow day.” I look down to where my lonely crawdad is sitting in our bucket. We’ve been here for over two hours, and this is the first one we’ve caught.

“You guys, seriously. Can we just go?” Dawn whines again. “I think I’m getting fleas.”

“Are you a dog?” Michael laughs next to me, grabbing the bucket and carrying it over to where Dawn is standing.

“Shut up.” She rolls her eyes. “I meant ticks.” Immediately adding, “Gross, get that thing away from me,” when Michael sets our bucket at her feet.

“He’s not going to do anything.” He tries to reason with her.

“He can pinch me,” she objects.

“Then don’t put your hand in the bucket.” He nudges her shoulder playfully, causing her to stumble into the water.

“Michael!” she screams, swatting at him as she tries to get her footing on the slimy creek rocks.

“Come here.” He takes her hand and pulls her back in.

“You’re such a brat.” She smacks his arm, but there’s a smile on her face.

No one can ever stay mad at Michael. No one. He’s just too sweet of a guy, even when he’s picking on you.

“You ready, Mel?” Cole pulls my attention back to him. “You know she’s not going to stop until we leave.” I can tell Dawn annoys him sometimes, but he’s too nice to just outright say so.

“Yeah.”

Cole takes my hand as he leads me out of the water, not letting go until we’ve hiked up the embankment that leads back to the fort.

The hill is really steep, but there’s a path that’s angled enough that we can go up and down. We also use the trees to help keep our footing. Even still, Cole always holds my hand until we get to the top.

Michael and Dawn come up right behind us, Michael letting Dawn walk in front of him so if she slips he can catch her before she falls. There’s so many rocks and trees that one false move and you could end up really hurt.

Technically Dawn’s not even allowed down by the creek, but she goes anyway. That’s Dawn. She always does what she wants.

“Why don’t we go back to my place and watch a movie or something. It’s like a million degrees out here,” Dawn says, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand.

Unlike my house, Dawn’s has central air. I don’t really mind much; I’m rarely inside anyway, and at night I just stick an old box fan in the window. It keeps my room cool enough to be bearable.

“Nah, I think I’m gonna go to the pond,” Cole says, his attention on me. “Mel, you wanna go?”

“Yeah, I’ll go.” I love the pond.

“Mike?” Cole turns to Michael. He’s one of the only people who shorten his name because quite honestly Michael hates it.

“I can’t. We’re going to my grandma’s house for dinner tonight.” He sighs, shuffling his feet. “I swear that woman still treats me like I’m five.”

“That’s what grandma’s do.” Cole laughs. “Sure you don’t have time to go for a little bit?”

“What time is it?”  he asks, even though he’s the only one of us who wears a watch. Glancing down at his wrist, he grimaces.

“Shoot, I gotta go. Mom’s gonna kill me; we’re supposed to leave at six, and it’s already five thirty.”

“We’ll walk back with you,” I interject, knowing we’re all heading that way anyway. “So what about you, Dawn?” I ask as we take the trail through the woods back to Michael’s house. “Swimming at the pond?”

“I’d rather not. That pond is gross, and you know there are snakes and fish in there.” She crinkles her nose.

“You’re such a princess.” Michael laughs, dropping his arm around Dawn’s shoulders and pulling her into his big frame.

Even at twelve-years-old, Michael is a pretty big guy. He stands a good foot over Dawn and me, who are about the same height, and at least six inches over Cole.

“I’m not a princess, I’m a girl,” she huffs, and even though I don’t look back to see her face, I know she’s giving me a pointed look.

“No, you’re just boring,” Cole objects, throwing me a grin.

That’s just Cole, always coming to my rescue.

“I’m not boring.” She crosses her arms in front of herself as we reach the clearing and one by one filter into Michael’s backyard.

“You kind of are,” Cole says, turning to face her. “So are you in or out?”

“Out.”

“Your loss.” Cole grabs my hand again as we make our way around Michael’s house.

“See you guys later,” I call over my shoulder as Michael disappears inside, and Dawn mounts her bike in the driveway.

She speeds off without another word, and I know it’s because she’s mad. She hates when Cole takes my side.

Cole doesn’t let go of my hand until we’ve reached our own bikes. Once we do, we ride side by side down the street, talking about everything and nothing at all.

That’s just how me and Cole are. We don’t have to try with each other. Things are comfortable and easy with him. We can sit in complete silence or we can talk for hours. It doesn’t matter as long as we’re together.

It takes us about ten minutes to reach the old pond right outside of town. We drop our bikes a few feet from the dock and then slide off our clothes.

I always wear a bathing suit underneath my clothes when we go to the creek, so I’m already prepared. Cole, on the other hand, well, he doesn’t have to prepare because no matter what, he always swims in his boxers.

I’m convinced he doesn’t own a pair of swim trunks even though he insists he does.

We walk out onto the dock together and like always, Cole reaches his hand out to me just a few feet from the edge. I take it, and we both look at each other and smile before Cole starts the countdown.

“One.” He swings my hand as he counts. “Two.” He gets into position. “Three.” We take off running and jump together the second we reach the edge of the dock.

The warm water instantly engulfs me before I quickly resurface, wiping the water from my eyes as I search for Cole.

Normally he pops up right next to me, but this time he’s nowhere to be found.

My stomach tightens into a hard knot as I scan the water.

“Cole!” I yell. “Cole!” Louder this time.

I spin around, treading water as I try to look for signs of bubbles or anything that might indicate where he could be.

I can feel myself starting to panic, tears welling behind my eyes.

And that’s when I feel it, something near my leg. I scream so loud I swear you can probably hear me all the way to my house. And then Cole appears in front of me, laughter bubbling from his chest the moment he sucks in a breath.

“You jerk.” I shove him away from me, so mad I could slap him right in the face.

“Mel!” he calls after me as I swim toward the dock.

Hot tears burn my face, and I can’t get out of the water fast enough.

“Mel, don’t go. I’m sorry, I was just screwing around,” he says, swimming up to the dock seconds after I’ve pulled myself up.

I’m just a few feet from where my clothes are when I hear foot steps behind me and then his hand closes down around my forearm, pulling me to a stop.

“Mel.” His voice is softer this time as he spins me around to face him.

The moment he registers the tears on my cheeks, he’s pulling me against his chest.

“Oh God, Melanie. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean... I was just messing around,” he rambles, holding me tightly.

“You scared the hell out of me, Cole,” I bite, allowing my anger to boil to the surface, and I push out of his embrace. “I thought you drowned!”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. I didn’t know you’d get so upset.” The regret written on his face hurts my heart, causing my anger to dissolve in an instant.

“You didn’t think I would get upset?” I question. “You’re my best friend. When I couldn’t find you in the water, I think my heart stopped beating,” I say, my breathing finally returning to a semi-normal pattern.

“I should have thought it through.” He takes my hand, and I allow him to lead me back toward the water.

Instead of getting back in, he pulls me down next to him and we sit side by side, our feet dangling over the edge.

“I’m sorry,” I finally blurt after a couple minutes of silence has passed, and I realize that I may have overreacted a bit.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He turns to face me, our knees pressed together. “It was a stupid prank. I didn’t really think it through.” He smiles, nudging my shoulder with his. “At least I know you love me.” I’m rewarded with his wide, dimple-filled grin, and my stomach instantly flutters again—something it’s been doing a lot here recently.

“You know I do,” I finally say, looking out over the water.

“What you say we give it another go, huh?” He stands, extending a hand to me. “No funny business this time. I promise.” He makes an X over his heart with his finger.

I smile, unable to stay mad at Cole, and let him pull me to my feet.

We spend the next couple of hours playing in the water. We talk and laugh, and while Cole can find me every time, I still haven’t gotten any better at Marco Polo.

I swear I could stay here all day every day. The pond is hands down my favorite place to go, especially when the temperature is so hot you feel like you’re suffocating.

We finally decide to head back shortly before dark. My mom has very few rules, but one is very clear—I need to be home by dark. I don’t have to be inside necessarily as long as I stay in our yard and she knows I’m home. A lot of times I will sit on the porch and read, or Cole will stay and we’ll catch lightening bugs or lie on the trampoline and watch the stars, which we do from time to time.

Cole rides with me to my house, waiting on the front porch until I check in with my mom to let her know I’m home. I emerge a couple minutes later with two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a couple bottles of water.

Cole follows me to the backyard and climbs in the trampoline first, turning to take the sandwiches and bottles so I can climb in.

Before long we’re sitting Indian style, facing each other in the center of the trampoline mat, eating our PB&Js.

“Mel.” Cole waits until I meet his gaze before continuing. “Do you ever think about dying?”

I find his question a little odd, but I can’t deny that it has crossed my mind before. I mean, I know it’s inevitable, but I don’t think it’s something someone our age really gives a lot of thought to.

I shrug, finishing the remainder of my sandwich in one bite before answering his question.

“Sometimes I worry about the people I love dying. Probably why I panicked when I thought you had drown earlier.”

“Sorry about that... again.” He smiles, taking a long drink of his water.

The sun has completely set now, so only the mild, yellow light of the porch lamp in the distance shines, casting shadows on his face.

“Stop apologizing. You were just messing around, and I freaked out.” I can’t bring myself to be embarrassed. Cole gets me, there’s no reason for me to feel anything other than comfort with him.

“I think about dying all the time,” he mumbles, almost too quietly for me to hear.

“Why?” I ask, honestly curious.

“Ever since my grandpa died last year. I don’t know. All I can think about is how one day I’m going to die. I’m scared.” He holds my gaze in the dim light.

“Cole Lincoln, you are not going to die until you are much, much older. You’re only twelve. Your grandpa was in his eighties. I mean, he was actually your great grandpa. And he lived a long, full life, just like you will.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” I give him a reassuring smile.

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” He switches gears so fast it takes me a second to catch up.

“What do you mean? Like—I kiss my mom on the cheek sometimes.”

“That’s not what I mean.” He smiles, shaking his head. “I mean, have you ever kissed a boy—on the lips?”

“Why would I want to do that?” I crinkle my nose in disgust.

I would never admit that a small part of me has wondered in recent weeks what it would be like to kiss the boy sitting in front of me.

I mean, I am twelve after all. I’ve seen my older brother kiss his girlfriend and tons of times in the movies. I know what it is. And while the thought normally turns my stomach, I get a different feeling entirely when I think about doing it with Cole.

“I don’t know. We’ve got to learn sometime, right? Wouldn’t it be better to learn with someone like your best friend? At least that way we’d know what it’s all about,” he explains.

“Are you suggesting we kiss each other?” I question, unable to explain why my hands shake slightly in my lap.

“Why not?” He shrugs. “We’re best friends. And besides, it’s just so we know what all the hype is about.”

“I don’t know,” I mutter, suddenly super nervous.

“Oh come on, Mel. It’s me. Let’s do it. Strictly research.”

“Just so we know what it’s like, right?” I question, unable to believe I’m actually considering this.

“Exactly.” His smile widens.

“What do I do?” I ask, hating that I sound so stupid.

Wait, this is Cole. You never feel stupid in front of Cole. I must be coming down with something.

“Just close your eyes and on the count of three, we lean forward and just kiss.”

“Okay...” I stretch out, my palms suddenly really sweaty.

“Okay, close your eyes.” I do as he says. “Just like jumping off the dock. On three. Are you ready?”

“Ready.” I scrunch my forehead, my heart hammering inside my chest.

“One. Two. Three.”

I no more than pucker my lips and Cole presses his to mine. He holds them there longer than I expect, but he doesn’t move, just keeps them pressed tightly against mine.

My stomach swims with butterflies, the smell of pond water and peanut butter invading my nose.

I open my eyes to find Cole’s wide open. They instantly lock with mine, and then I feel him smile against my lips seconds before we pull apart.

“See, nothing.” He grins wider, clearly not picking up on the fact that my face is probably beet red.

Thank God it’s dark is all I can think.

“Yeah, nothing,” I weakly agree, wishing this weird feeling in my stomach would go away.

Cole lies back on the trampoline, tucking his hands behind his head as he looks up at the stars. I mirror his actions, not really sure what else to do.

We lay there for several minutes, both of us seeming lost in thought. At first I think maybe he’s fallen asleep, but then his voice fills the space between us.

“Mel?”

“Yeah.”

“I think maybe I’d like to marry you someday. I mean, if we have to get married, I’d rather marry you.”

His words warm my heart, and I turn my face to see him smiling at me.

“Well you have to ask me to marry you first. What if I say no?” I tease.

“You won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Melanie Anderson, will you marry me some day?”

“I will,” I answer without hesitation.

“See, told ya.” He smirks, turning his face back up to the sky.