I feel like a teenager all over again, with Dawn’s bubbliness dancing all around me. What was it I didn’t like about her again? Oh, that’s right,

she stole Cole right out from under me.

As if he was yours to steal—my mind spits back at me.

We end up at a high top table just a few feet from the bar. Once the drinks start flowing so does the conversation. We avoid talking about Michael, which both feels good and bad. I don’t want to drag the night down, but I almost feel like we owe it to him to talk about him, to remember his life.

I text Nate shortly after arriving at the bar to tell him to stop by if he gets finished early, but I don’t expect he’ll make it.

Meanwhile, Dawn and Eric are more than eager to talk about themselves, and honestly, I don’t really mind. They tell me about how they met. Apparently he’s in banking, and she met with him to inquire about financing a car.

“You can imagine my surprise when I got a call saying I was approved for the loan followed by a request for a date once the car was mine.” She looks at him adoringly.

“What can I say, she had me the second she sat down in my office.” He kisses her temple and a rush of jealousy settles in my gut. I wish Nate were here.

As much as I care about Nate and I know he cares about me, there’s one thing that has always irked me about our relationship, and that’s his job. It always comes first. And while he says the right things and constantly offers to go places or do things with me, I’ve learned he rarely follows through if I try to take him up on it.

“So to make a long story short,” Dawn picks up where he left off, pulling me back to the conversation. “I got my car, and I got the man.”

“Yeah you did,” Eric interjects a wide smile on his face.

“So you’re living in Dallas, is that right?” I ask, taking a long pull of my beer.

“We’re in a suburb of Dallas,” he says before standing. “Can I get you ladies another?”

“None for me,” I say, knowing I’m riding a good buzz right now and not wanting to overdo it.

I know how easy it would be for me to flip the switch and drink my emotions, but I need to stay clear. I can’t afford to break down. At least not yet.

“Me please.” Dawn bounces, clearly rocking a pretty good buzz herself.

“You got it, babe.” He kisses the top of her brown bob before taking off toward the bar.

God these two are way too touchy feely for my taste. If I weren’t four beers deep, I’d probably feel a bit uncomfortable.

Once Eric returns to the table, I take my out to leave. As soon as I stand Dawn’s big brown eyes narrow in on me. It isn’t until then that I realize she really is just as pretty as she was as a kid. I had hoped she would have grown out of it, be one of those girls who was pretty in school but then got fat and ugly after graduation. It’s my competitive nature, I know. I hate that I always felt less than her.

“You’re leaving?” she questions as I slide my cell phone into the back pocket of my jeans.

“Yeah, I have a photo shoot in the morning. I should probably get some sleep.” Not an unreasonable excuse seeing how it’s ten already.

She pouts out her bottom lip like a two-year-old, and I can’t contain the laugh that bubbles over. Drunk Dawn is pretty funny, I gotta admit.

“What’s so funny over here?”

I turn toward the voice, a small relief running through me when I meet Nate’s blue eyes.

“Hey babe.” He smirks, clearly liking that he’s caught me off guard.

“You came.” I smile, trying to hide my shock as I turn to introduce him.

“Dawn, Eric, this is Nate—my boyfriend.”

I watch Dawn’s eyes as she drinks him in. Nate is very good looking, something I am well aware of. I’ve often times wondered why the hell he chose me.

“Oh my god, Mel!” she squeals. “You didn’t tell us you had a boyfriend.” I can tell just by her reaction that she’s scoping out my man. Truthfully, I kind of like that right now I seem to have the upper hand.

“Probably because neither of us shut up long enough to let her talk,” Eric interjects, reaching his hand out to shake Nate’s. “Nice to meet you, Nate.”

“You as well,” he says, releasing Eric’s hand before turning back to me. “You heading home. I was hoping to have a drink with you.” He tucks a strand of my long, dark hair behind my ear.

“I’ll have one more.” I grin when he winks before setting off toward the bar.

“Mel!” Dawn blurts the second he’s out of ear shot. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us about him. I mean, look at him.” She clearly checks out my boyfriend’s ass at the bar right in front of Eric who doesn’t seem the slightest bit fazed.

“Yeah, sorry.  My relationship status just didn’t come up.”

“How long have you two been together?” She rests her elbows on the table and leans in like she can’t wait to hear everything.

“Two years. I was doing a photo shoot for the WTTO news station for their website, and I caught him watching me from across the room. The rest is history.”

“So you work for WTTO?” She directs her question to Nate who slides onto the stool next to me and hands me another beer.

“I do.” He nods, taking a pull of beer. “I’m the writer for the sports broadcast.”

“What does that entail exactly?” She leans forward like she’s really interested.

“Well, a lot of stats research and fact checking, but I do get to go to just about any Indians, Cavaliers, Browns or any other local game that I want— on the company—purely business of course.” He smiles, really turning on the charm.

“Oh wow. That must be so cool.” Dawn seems so interested it’s borderline annoying.

“It’s a pretty good gig. I get to work from home a lot which is nice. Unfortunately when I do have to go into the office, my girlfriend lives an hour and a half from the city.” He nudges my shoulder playfully. “I’ve been trying to get her to move there with me for the last year, but she’s adamant about staying here.” He throws me a sideways glance.

We’ve argued over this very thing more times than I can count, but I always hold my ground. A part of me feels connected to this place in a way I can’t explain. The other part of me is scared to move to Cleveland because I’m afraid of what will happen to our relationship if I do. I can handle mine and Nate’s ups and downs in small doses. I just don’t know if I can do it full time.

“This is home.” I shrug, taking a drink of beer to keep from having to say more.

Thankfully the conversation takes a detour away from me, and for the better part of the next hour I listen to Eric, who surprisingly is a sports fan, you wouldn’t know from looking at him, go on and on about what teams are in line for the playoffs and who they think hold a good shot of taking it all the way based on the mid-season standings.

Just when I’m about to suggest we call it a night, Dawn’s eyes flash toward the door and turn wider than I think I’ve ever seen them.

I immediately follow her gaze trying to spot what she’s looking at. They land on a tall, broad man who I wouldn’t have even recognized if his eyes hadn’t immediately met mine like he knew exactly where to find me. All the color instantly drains from my face. I feel like I’m looking at a ghost, someone I attempted to bury long ago. And yet, he looks nothing like the person I remember. But the eyes... It’s the same dark eyes I spent eight years of my life staring into. I used to see my future in those eyes. Now, I see a stranger.

He stalks toward us, his gaze locked so intensely on mine I don’t notice the lengthy blonde on his arm until he reaches our table, or maybe I do but I’m too focused on him to see her.

This is not the boy I remember. This is not the sweet kid with the twinkle in his eye and the dimples so big they took over his entire face. He radiated youth and laughter, always out to find an adventure. This guy—this man—is not the Cole I remember.

His face is covered in a full, short cut beard, his long hair pulled back in a knot showing off how it’s shaved underneath. There’s a hardness to him, his dark eyes even darker than I remembered. He steps next to the table, his body twice as large as when he left, and I damn near give into the shiver that threatens to spill over and tell him exactly what his presence is doing to me.

“Cole!” Dawn bounces right out of her seat and into his arms just inches from where I’m sitting.

Normally the sight would make me physically ill, but for some reason his eyes find mine over her shoulder, and he holds my gaze making me feel like even though he’s holding her, he’s picturing me. My lungs empty on a large whoosh, and I spend the next several beats trying to pull air back into them.

I can feel Nate tense behind me, but I can’t force my gaze away.

Depositing Dawn to her feet, she slides back into her stool. I hear her start to tell Eric who the man is, but her voice seems a million miles away as his body turns toward mine.

“Aren’t you gonna say hi, Mel,” he purrs, that velvety smooth voice I remember so well gruffer than it used to be. Goose bumps erupt across my body as I realize just how close he’s standing to me.

I don’t know what to do. Hiding underneath the table sounds good right about now.

Keep it cool, Melanie. It’s just Cole freaking Lincoln.

Knowing I can’t avoid it and not wanting to stand here acting like I’ve completely lost my shit, I slowly stand, my nostrils accosted by his sexy scent moments before he pulls me into a tight hug.

“Hi.” It comes out weakly as he basically squeezes the life out of me.

I want to punch myself in the face for letting his embrace make me feel something, anything.

A smile quirks up one side of his mouth as he releases me, studying me for a long moment. I visibly tremble under his gaze.

It was easy to hide the way he made me feel when we were kids. I mean, he was gorgeous even then, but there was an easiness about him. Not anymore. Just looking at me the way he is brings my feelings bubbling to the top of my skin, and it’s like he can smell it seeping from my pores.

Stop being paranoid, Mel, he can’t sense anything. You’re just freaking the hell out. Oh god how is it possible he’s so damn hot?

“Damn it’s good to see you.” His smile widens as he speaks.

Only then does he finally acknowledge the rest of the table, giving me a chance to catch my breath.

“Hey. Cole,” he says casually, reaching his hand out to the man next to me.

“Nate Brennan.” I glance to the side to see Nate not totally losing his shit, which is a good thing. He seems cool as a cucumber. Maybe it is just me. Maybe I only feel like my heart is beating on the outside of my chest.

Guilt blasts through me, but I instantly shut it down. I can sort through how fucked up all this is later.

“Melanie’s boyfriend.” When Nate adds that statement, I know he’s sizing Cole up.

Okay, so maybe it isn’t just me. Maybe I really am that transparent and everything I thought was in my head is out in the open for all to see.

Shut up, Melanie! He’s just introducing himself as your boyfriend, a perfectly acceptable thing to do considering he is, in fact, your boyfriend.

Cole nods without commenting, turning his attention to Eric.

“I take it you two are together,” Cole observes, shaking Eric’s hand as well.

“Eric.” He announces his name first. “And yes, we are together.” He smiles at Dawn, tucking her into his side.

“It’s nice to meet you. Mind if we join you guys?” he asks, sliding a couple stools over from the vacant table next to us without waiting for a response.

The table isn’t made for six people, and I don’t miss the way his knee brushes mine when he slides into his stool.

I try to ignore the rush of adrenaline that pumps through me and turn my attention to the blonde now occupying the stool on his left.

“Hi, I’m Melanie.” I reach my hand across Cole, his scent invading every one of my senses.

“Brooke.” She gives me a tight smile.

“Nice to meet you, Brooke.” She barely gives me her hand, leaving me shaking more of her fingers than anything else.

At least I tried.

“Mm hmm.” She seems to hate me already as she quickly pulls her hand away.

Other than clearly being a bitch, Brooke is stunning. Of course she is. Cole wouldn’t have anything less on his arm. She’s slender, with a full chest, long, blonde hair, and the most pouty lips I have ever seen up close.

I want to criticize her, make myself feel better about how damn gorgeous she is, but I can’t find one damn thing wrong with her. Well, except maybe her personality and that I can work with.

Work with?

God, look at me. I’m already trying to plan her demise when I have a man who loves me sitting right next to me not paying one bit of attention to her.

Taking a deep breath, I try to focus on that. On Nate. Reaching into his lap, I wrap my fingers around his hand and throw him a wink. He seems relaxed and gifts me with one of his full-mouth smiles. There, now that that’s been settled.

I refuse to look at Cole again. It’s almost impossible, especially with his leg constantly brushing up against mine. But somehow, by the grace of God, I make it through.

When Nate suggests we head home about thirty minutes after Cole and Brooke’s arrival, I’m more than ready to get the hell away from this man. I can’t think straight, not when his scent is dancing all around me and his smooth voice is sounding in my ears.

Maybe fresh air will clear away the fog he has settled over me.

Before we can leave, though, I insist on using the bathroom. While it only takes about ten minutes to walk to my house, I haven’t broken the seal yet and I feel like I might burst if I don’t do it now.

Dawn decides to join me. Wasting no time freaking out the second the bathroom door is closed.

“Holy shit,” she says so seriously I can’t help but laugh. “How in the hell did he get so damn fine?” She fans her face.

A wave of possessiveness rolls over me, but I shake it off.

He is not mine! It’s something I’ve been trying to convince myself for years, even though deep down he’s always felt like mine. Even when we were kids.

She slips into a stall, and I take the one next to her.

“And did you see that bimbo he’s with?” She goes on. “I get that she’s pretty, but what a bitch! Did you see the way she was glaring at you? Probably because Cole couldn’t take his eyes off you all night.”

Now this gets my attention.

“What?” I blurt, quickly pulling my jeans up before exiting the stall.

I’m washing my hands when she exits her own stall and joins me at the sinks.

“Don’t act like you didn’t notice.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t know you guys were ever a thing.” She meets my gaze in the mirror.

“We weren’t.” I shake my head adamantly, grabbing a paper towel to dry my hands.

“Really?” She acts like she doesn’t believe me.

“I promise. We really weren’t. He never gave me the time of day.” Now this has her turning toward me, disbelief written all over her face.

“Are you sure it wasn’t the other way around?” She narrows her eyes at me.

Wow. Wait a second. What the hell is happening right now?

“I’m confused.” I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“You really didn’t know did you?” Realization dawns on her face.

“Know what?” My voice comes out strained.

“That you’re the reason I broke up with Cole.”

ME?

As much as I don’t believe it, I also can’t help the surge of excitement that floods through me.

“That’s why I avoided you for most of junior and senior year.”

Wait, what? I seem to remember that very differently.

No matter how hard I try, she continues. “He had you on this pedestal that no one could ever reach. It was impossible to compete. He would deny it and we would fight over it, but I wasn’t stupid or blind. I knew how he felt about you.”

Based on how I can’t seem to move a muscle, she probably thinks I’m about to have a stroke. My entire body is ridged and somehow I can’t seem to feel my face.

“Whatever, I mean, that was his deal, not mine. I just can’t believe he was dumb enough to never say anything to you.” She shakes her head. “Regardless of who he came here with, you’re still up on that pedestal. That girl doesn’t stand a chance against you.”

“A chance?” I finally find my voice again. “Dawn, I’m not sure I fully trust what you think you know. Even if what you’re saying is true, I’m with Nate now.”

“If you say so.” She smiles like I’m so paper thin she can see right through me.

The thought is more than a little unnerving, and I feel the need to nip this in the butt now before this goes any further.

“We’re here for Michael. I don’t care what, if anything, Cole harbors for me. He’s here for the same reason we all are, to say goodbye to our friend. He will be gone just as quickly as he arrived, and that will be that,” I grind out, clearly losing it.

She looks at me for a long moment, the tension in the room palpable.

“I’m sorry.” She finally speaks, letting out a slow breath. “You’re right, we’re here for Michael. I didn’t mean to push.”

“I know,” I say, suddenly feeling bad for talking to her that way. “It’s just tensions are high right now. I just really want to get through this funeral.”

“I know.” She gives me a small smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Me, too.”

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” I gesture toward the door.

“Yeah, good idea. The guys will probably think we fell in.”

We exit the room, me then her, and while I wish I could push away all the things she just said, I’m afraid now they are etched too deep.

“I really like Nate by the way,” she says when our table comes into view.

I ignore the ping in my stomach when I notice Cole is no longer at the table.

“Yeah, he’s good people,” I agree, plastering on the best smile I can muster when I reach Nate.

“We thought maybe you ladies fell in,” he jokes, standing.

“Girl talk,” Dawn says, sliding into the stool next to Eric.

“You ready?” Nate asks, extending my jacket to me.

“Absolutely.” I slide it over my shoulders before turning back to Eric and Dawn. “It’s been fun, guys. We’ll have to get together again before you leave.”

Even as I say it I know deep down that’s the exact opposite of what I want.

“Nice meeting you, guys,” Nate says, nodding at the two people across from us before taking my hand and leading me out of the bar.