Ethan
I tapped the seat beside me, knowing I was making a colossal mistake. Leaving Riley to wake up at Liam's place alone was just plain stupid, and yet I had no choice, or I'd convinced myself of the fact. After lying beside her and watching her sleep all night, I was fucked ten ways to the wind. Making love to her would have been magical, but it's not all I wanted. The need to hold her close to me, to memorize the laugh lines around her pretty mouth and trace the perfect arch of her little brown eyebrow tore me in two.
Lust might have started the game we were playing, but love was going to suffocate me under its mighty power. Everyone around me believed in the power of love, and I'd scoffed at it for all of my life. There was nothing left to laugh about as I lay there next to her and dreamt of a future that surely couldn't be mine.
"Relationships in the movie business never work. Look at D. Look at Trish." I ran my hand down my face, which only left the sweet smell of Riley filling my senses. I growled and pressed my fingers to my nose, breathing in deeply as my cock twitched violently and started to swell.
Some part of it was sex. It had to be. But it wasn't the same as it had been the millions of times I'd tried to get laid in the past. It was different this time - driven by deep emotion.
At the last minute, I pressed the button on the panel beside me in the back seat. "Can you take me to twenty-five Langley Drive?"
"Of course, Mr. Lewis," a deep voice resounded from the front seat. The fucking limo driver had sat outside all night long. I didn't even want to see the bill from that charade I'd put on.
There was no reason for me to go home and pace the floors all damn day. Deza was pissed at me, and rightly so, but I needed someone to talk to, which was always her. She was something like a best friend, mentor, mother, sister, hot-sexy agent to me.
I smiled at the thought and let memory after memory of us together take me from my worries. The bliss lasted a few minutes more than usual, which was a nice break. Our conversation from the night before doused my arousal in ice water and woke me up from my nice walk down memory lane.
Not only was I fighting against the shit from the club incident where I was drugged and most likely raped in a coat closet, but now someone was filing suit against me for being their baby-daddy. I couldn't make that shit up. No one could.
Deza was going to kill me if I didn't get my shit together soon. I might as well pick out my casket, because behaving was a far worse death than dying.
"Maybe if she'd let me have Riley." I snorted and brushed my hand down my face again, bringing my libido back to life. As if Deza or Frank, or anyone really, had the right to tell me who I could and couldn't have in my life. I gave them that control over me. I always had.
"Here we are, Sir." The deep voice filled the console of the back seat where I sat, jolting me from my thoughts.
"Thanks, man." I got out of the car and walked around to the driver's side window. "You take cards?"
"It'll be charged in to the studio. No worries, Mr. Lewis."
"No way. They'll have another reason to hang up a noose." I pulled out my wallet. "Sorry about last night. My girlfriend got a little tipsy and we passed out."
"None of my business." The guy took my card and processed it as I stood in the cool early morning. It was beautiful. Peaceful. Deza chose her house most likely for those effects alone.
"Thanks." I took my card and turned to walk toward the two-story white brick house.
"Um, Sir?"
I glanced back. "Yeah?"
"Did we need to go get your girlfriend, or...?"
"No. She's good with my brother." I slipped my hands into my pockets and thought through her reaction to waking up without me. "You know. On the other hand, how about you go back over there and grab her for me? Just take her wherever she wants to go. Bill that to the studio."
"Yes, Sir." He looked unsure, but rolled up the window and drove back in the direction we came.
"Shit," I mumbled under my breath and walked languidly to the door. It seemed like someone was always out to strangle me, and usually it was Deza. Now I was adding Riley to the list; however, her being a little pissy was far better than her having her feelings hurt.
She wouldn't be hurt by me leaving, right?
"No way." I reached up and knocked on the door before checking my watch. Saturday morning at eight... Deza was an early riser, right?
The door opened and the look I got from my agent told me quickly that, no, the fuck she wasn't. Her long black hair was disheveled and her eyes swollen. The furry white robe she wore would have been sexy if she didn't look like she'd been crying all night.
"Um... bad time?" I gave her a cute smile, praying that my usual bullshit would work.
"What do you want? I'm not in the mood for you, and it's the weekend. This is my only break from you."
"Your tits look good in that robe?"
"Ugh. Don't start, Ethan. I give you room to be yourself and now you have a kid coming and your video at the club is viral." She turned and walked back into the house, leaving the door open behind her.
"Why, yes, I'd love to come in for breakfast. What are you making this morning?" I closed the door behind me and ignored the angry grunt she gave.
"You're seriously going to be the death of me." She walked into the kitchen and stopped by the coffee pot.
I moved up behind her and wrapped her in a tight hug before leaning down to kiss the top of her head. "But what a fucking hot death it's going to be."
"That makes little to no sense."
"Right." I kissed her again and released her. "Forgive me. A few beers, some bad publicity, an unplanned baby with a chick I don't know and falling in love with my co-star have me a little off center."
She turned as she poured a cup of coffee. "You're not in love with Riley."
"That's the one you want to pick on? Of course." I walked to the pantry and got a big bag of Cheetos. "I didn't mean to fuck things up at the club. I was drugged. Remember?"
"And the girl? Who is she?"
"Tell me her name and let's see if you can jog my memory, because the last time I squirted in some girl’s snatch was when I turned fifteen." I pulled the bag open and shoved a handful of Cheetos in my mouth as my mood soured.
"Really?" The scowl on her pretty face said I'd gone too far.
"What? You don't want to get real? Sounded like you did."
"Stop being a dick and tell me if you remember sleeping with someone about three months ago."
I spit Cheetos across the kitchen. "What? Three months? She's three months along?"
"Yes, and don't say anything that will make me hate you more." She lifted her finger and her eyebrows as I started to respond. "I'm serious. Don't do it. Don't you dare."
"Whatever." I shoved another big handful of chips into my mouth and moved to sit down at her table as she cleaned up my shit. Poor woman. She was always cleaning up my shit. "I hope they pay you enough to deal with me."
She glanced up from the floor and shook her head. "You've got this all wrong. I'm not dogging you out here, Ethan. You're like a brother to me. I'm trying to wake you the hell up before you ruin everything we've worked so hard for. This isn't about me or Riley or whoever this baby momma chick is. It's about you."
"What about me?" I licked at my fingers and got the taste of Riley somewhere along the way. The expression on my face must have changed by Deza's response.
"Dude. Stop licking your fingers and look at me."
"I am looking at you. What do you want from me, D? I fucked a girl? I went to a club and got drugged. You just told me that you were going to back the fuck off of me, and yet here you are, all over me like a fly on shit."
"A fly on shit?" She stood as her eyebrows furrowed.
"Never mind." I swallowed and got up, leaving the bag of chips on the counter. I couldn't be myself in front of her. She was dealing with all the negative publicity and Darren, her ex, being a cock. She wasn't the Deza that solely focused on me anymore. As messed up as it was... that was the woman I came to see. "I'll see you on Monday."
"Ethan."
I walked to the front door, opened it and walked out, ignoring her as she followed me and called after me, until she got obnoxious.
"Ethan. Damnit. Stop. You don't even have a ride."
I turned and shrugged as I continued to walk backward down the street. "I'm the great and almighty Ethan-effing-Lewis. I'll get a ride from someone, right? Wait... I'm not allowed to do that. Someone might take a video. Fuck this." I turned and continued down the street, acting like the fifteen-year-old cock I felt like.
Riley might be upset about me leaving her at Liam's, but it would have been ten times worse for her to have to put up with me in the mood I was in.
Deza gave up a few seconds later, and I hated myself even more before I turned the corner at the end of her block. She was trying to help me, to protect me, and I was crapping all over her efforts. It was me who was making her life hard.
"What the hell am I supposed to do? Just sit at home and have the occasional whore over?" I yelled at the air around me. Several people looked up from yard work and stared as I continued to rant until I'd worn myself out.
Half an hour later, I stopped by a gas station. I had to get a ride. No point in calling anyone who cared to come get me. As far as I was concerned, their care was loaded with their own selfish agendas.
Fuck that. Maybe a cab would be good.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, tugging me from my train of thought. I pulled it out to see a text from Riley. 'Where are you?'
I glanced around and put the phone back in my pocket without answering her.
"No clue. I always seem to be lost in one place or the other, baby doll."