Riley
After talking to Ethan, the weekend was a bust. I wanted nothing more than to find him and love on him, though the bastard didn't deserve it. He was using playfulness to cover up what happened between us, and there was something else going on. Something he was struggling with, but I wasn't sure what exactly.
By Tuesday morning, I was a mess over what to do about him or what to even say to him when I saw him. I'd have to play it cool, but that fact alone aggravated the piss out of me. We'd already busted through the barriers that led to a relationship, even a loose one, but here we were again. Tense. Unyielding. Questioning.
Had Deza shut down the idea of something happening between us?
"Riley. How are you?" Clayton opened the door to the studio as I walked up from the parking lot, lost in thought.
"I'm good. Really good. How are you?" I gave him a warm smile and moved to accept the side hug he offered. I was grateful it wasn't a fully frontal hug. It seemed too intimate and almost like I was spitting in Ethan's face. Whatever happened between him and Clayton years back, the hurt was still ever-present.
"Really good. I'm looking forward to spending a few days in San Diego with you guys."
"I'm glad you're going." I moved out of his hold and glanced back toward the parking lot. "Are we driving a bus or flying or what?"
"Cars. I think they have a handful of cars and various drivers. Some of the crew is leaving tomorrow and some are staying through Friday, so we have about ten cars going down there. We'd fly, but something is wrong with the jet and from what Deza told me, Ethan doesn't fly commercial, not that I blame him."
"Yeah. Hordes of adoring fans..." I smirked. "How incredibly horrible."
"It can be." Clayton winked and nodded toward the trailers. "Speaking of Prince Charming..."
I turned and caught Ethan's eye for a moment. Something was wrong - again.
"I'll see you in a little while. I'm going to go catch up with him."
"Good luck. He's been a bear lately. Something must be happening just under the surface of what he'll let all of us see."
"Probably so. He carries a lot of weight on his shoulders." I mumbled my response and walked toward my sexy co-actor. His jeans were low on his hips, his t-shirt fitted and his shit-kickers sinfully hot. "Hey. You ready for this week?"
He glanced my way and shrugged, but kept walking toward the parking lot. "It's another week on the job."
"I love San Diego, though." I was making stupid comments and shallow conversation points, but what other choice did I have? We'd be trapped in a car with several other members of our team soon and the only real conversation I wanted to have with him was about us. As if there really was an ‘us’.
"You surf?" He glanced over his shoulder and studied me, slowing his walk and stopping by the gate.
"Yeah. I love to surf. You want to try and catch some waves while we're down there?"
"There are a lot of things I want to do while we're down there." The heat in his eyes was almost a relief compared to the mixture of anger and sadness.
I smiled. "There's the Ethan Lewis I've come to love and hate."
"He's a bastard, right?" He winked and turned to walk toward the car. "We're taking the last one in the row up here. The Lexus."
"Me and you?" I called out to him, but didn't follow.
"Yep." He kept walking, and I took that as my cue to go get my stuff and stop making small talk.
I grabbed my bag and walked toward Deza and Frank before making my way over to Ethan. "Morning guys."
"Hey, Riley. How are you?" Frank stretched out one arm, and I took that as my cue to give him a quick side hug. He squeezed me tightly and glanced down. "Anything we can do for you?"
They would most likely be asking for a while. Anyone with any sensitivity to losing someone would. Ethan seemed to be the outlier.
"No. I'm good." I let my eyes run across Deza, realizing that she looked like hell. "You doing okay?"
"As good as can be. We just have a lot going on and I'm not sleeping very well at night right now. Nothing new in the neighborhood. Just trying to deal with stuff, you know?"
"Anything I can do to help?"
"Tie up Ethan at night when he turns into a werewolf so we don't have to clean up the carnage every morning when we wake up?" She gave me a smug look. "That would be helpful for starters."
I groaned. "Something else?"
"Yeah, but we'll let him tell you if he wants to. You know we don't like to get into people's business." Frank let me go and I reached up to readjust my bag on my shoulder.
"Lies. You guys love getting involved." I chuckled as they both gave me a look any mother would be proud of. "Kidding. I'm just kidding."
"Kidding about what?" Ethan opened his door on the opposite side of the car from me.
"Nothing. Just teasing Frank and Deza about being nosy and getting involved in everyone's stuff." I opened the door and got in before dropping my small bag on the floor between my feet.
"They're definitely that, but I guess it's sort of their job." He opened his door and reached between my legs, grabbing the bag and getting out. "I'm gonna put this in the trunk."
"I can do it." I started to get out, but stopped myself. He was trying to be nice. It was a good thing. Maybe.
He got in the car and leaned back, letting out a long exhale as he closed his eyes.
Everything inside of me screamed for me to move closer, or reach out and touch his hand. Something. Shit, anything. We'd almost made love twice. That meant something, but why was I always the one reaching out?
"What's going on? I'm here for you. You know that, right?" I kept my voice just above a whisper, trying to push the message into my tone that I loved him and would do anything for him.
"Are you?" He turned his face toward mine and opened his eyes. The need in his gaze left my pulse speeding up. He could own me with nothing more than a few words, with a quick touch of his hand or a commanding word. It was a good thing that he didn't understand his own power, or maybe I underestimated him. Maybe he knew what he was capable of and respected me enough to not use it against me.
I moved closer to him and curled my legs up in the seat, resting my bent knees almost in his lap. Touching the side of his face, I leaned in and brushed my nose by his.
"Yes. I am. Completely."
"The other night at Liam's," he paused and moved away from me, pulling my hand down and holding it tightly in his, "Deza called and said some chick was filing a lawsuit against me."
"So? That happens all the time, right? It's why you have a good lawyer."
"Yeah, but the girl is claiming she's three months pregnant with my baby." He shrugged and released my hand. "I haven't slept with a woman without a condom since I was a kid. Who knows though? If the shit is going to happen, it's going to happen to me."
"Take a paternity test and prove her wrong." Hot fear ran through me. What would happen if Ethan was the father? Would he try and work things out with the mother? Just support the kid from the side? Could I be a part of whatever decision he made?
He chuckled. "I can see your horror on your face. You're doing a shitty job of hiding it."
"It's not that." I reached for his hand, grabbed it and brought it up to my mouth to kiss his fingers. "Look at me."
It took a few seconds, as if he were battling himself, but he finally turned to face me again.
"What?"
"We'll fix it."
"Me and you?" He brushed his fingers by my lips as his warm brown eyes moved down my face. "You'd help me?"
"I'd try." I swallowed hard. "Do you think the baby is yours?"
"No, but who can know for sure? I like sex, and I've had lots of it. Most of it incredibly shitty, but still."
I nodded, trying to be supportive and not show my disgust over him talking about other women. The poor guy had horrible relationship-building skills. Not that mine were stellar, but I sure as hell knew what not to say.
"And would you... stay with the mother or just help raise-"
"What? No." He pulled his hand from mine and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me close. "I'd help raise the kid if he were mine, but let's hope he's not. I'm not exactly father material right now."
"But you think you will be one day?" I glanced up at him, letting the softness, the openness of the moment, steal my heart.
"I hope so." He leaned down and brushed his lips by mine. "Why haven't we slept together?"
"Because I'm hoping to remain a good girl."
He laughed. "Baby, that train has long since left the station. You're just playing a part now. The real you is the one who wants a long night of passion. Where is that girl?"
"How about a night of chick flicks and popcorn instead?" I teased him, though both activities sounded great as a precursor to sex. Not that we'd be having it. It was more than obvious that the universe was working hard to keep us apart.
"And then sex?" He leaned down and kissed the side of my face. "You like it in the ass, right?"
"Ethan!" I popped his chest and sat up.
He laughed loudly. "What? I figured the bad girl in there would enjoy the question."
"Now I know where you get it from. Your brother has no filter either."
"Explain." His voice darkened a little.
I smiled and leaned back. "Nope. I'm not telling you about Liam or whether I like it in the ass."
He pulled me closer and tucked his face against my hair. "Those two subjects better not have a damn thing to do with each other."
"As if." I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy the moment. We both needed something from the other. I had no doubt that we would be wrapped up in some type of pleasure later that night together.
If he didn't make a move, I would. I was done with foreplay.