Ethan
Every emotion possible raged through me on the way to the studio on Tuesday morning. Two days and nothing from her. Were we back to playing hide-and-go-seek with each other? It sure as fuck felt like it.
I parked my Mercedes in my spot at the studio and got out. Anticipation swelled in my chest. Maybe she was there and just had a lot of shit going on. There was an explanation. There always was.
Trish stood beside the stage, facing me when I walked in. She gave me a weak wave and went back to talking to the girl next to her.
I glanced around to see if Riley was anywhere that I could get to her fast. Of course not. I walked toward Trish, knowing she would take it the wrong way if I didn't stop by and give my condolences on her divorce.
"Hey." I stopped beside her and a girl I'd never met before.
"Hey, Ethan. This is Patty."
The girl gave me a quirky smile and stuck out her hand. "I am by far your biggest fan. I've seen all your movies at least two million times."
"Two million? Really?"
She didn't paused while I spoke over her. "Your ads and videos. I've read your blog."
"Yep, don't have a blog. I hate commas, and they hate me."
Still didn't pause, not even to breathe.
"And those great commercials you did when you were a kid."
The best part - she did the rerun of the commercial on her phone.
Trish's eyes grew wide over the two-minute conversation, and she stepped in front of me and used what I could only imagine would eventually be her 'momma-voice'.
"Hey. Patty. Could you give us a second? I'm sure Ethan needs to get on set." Trish put her hand on her hips as I stood behind her. I almost felt blessed not to be the one getting her attention at the moment.
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry." The girl laughed and rolled her eyes. "I just got wrapped up in Ethan, because, well, he's here and he's so beautiful."
She kept going, so I leaned around Trish and waved with a cheeky grin on my face. "I'm still here."
Trish glanced back at me. "You're not helping right now."
"Who the fuck is this chick? Biggest stalker in the world."
There was no need in worrying about the girl’s feelings. She couldn't hear us over her own chatter. Trish shut her down a few minutes later and turned toward me.
"Good grief. Please tell me that doesn't happen very often."
"More often than never. How about those odds?" I smiled.
"Shit. I'm so sorry." Her expression softened and she reached out, taking one of my hands. "You doing okay? I know there's a lot of crap in the media right now."
"Yeah. I'm all right. I guess." I glanced around, looking for Riley again.
"You looking for Riley?"
"Yeah." I turned back to Trish. "That obvious?"
"No. I just know what's going on with you guys thanks to you sharing."
"Have you seen her?" I slowly pulled my hand from Trish's and crossed my arms over my chest. I didn't need anyone getting the wrong idea.
"She's on another set. One they’re working on at the edge of downtown."
"What? Since when?" I pulled my phone out of my pocket and texted Deza to find out what the hell was going on. Being informed would be really freaking great. Time was money, or something stupid like that.
"No clue." She gave me an empathetic look. "She understood about the Deza thing, I take it?"
"The Deza thing?" Confusion rolled over me. "Not sure what you're talking about."
"The video."
"Nope."
"Of you and Deza."
"Doing what, exactly?"
Deza and I hadn't taken a video outside of a press conference in years. Maybe someone was recycling one of the ones from when I was a kid and we were trying to still get attention?
"Kissing."
"What?" Ice water rushed through my veins. "I didn't kiss Deza."
"Um... I hate to break it to you, but yeah, you did. You either kissed her or your doppelganger did."
"What? Let me see this video." The voice in my head screamed no a hundred times before Trish finally got it loaded.
I watched the first few seconds and handed her back the phone before the kiss. "You have to be fucking kidding me. I can't win for losing around here anymore."
"Ethan. It's all okay. We know you were just helping her in front of Darren."
"Right. Does Riley know that? How about the world?"
By the look on her pretty face, I was getting loud and scary.
I pursed my lips and glanced toward the sky. "I'm sorry. You doing okay since the divorce?"
"I'm all right. Let me know if you need me, okay? I'm here for you." She reached for me, and I hugged her like I would a fan. Quick and disconnected.
She walked off as I stood there, still in shock. Of course Riley hadn't called. She figured I'd replaced her with the only woman I'd had all my life - my agent.
*
"Why didn't someone tell me about the video? That's why I'm pissed. And why the fuck isn't Deza answering her phone?" I yelled at Frank as we drove toward the medical center.
"I figured you knew about the video, Ethan, and stop yelling. I have a headache from listening to someone working construction next to our condo all damn night. The video with Deza is not that big of a deal."
"Not that big of a deal? Are you fucking kidding me right now?"
"You know I hate the F word."
"So the fuck what!" I screamed and pulled at my seatbelt. "That video makes it look like I'm the whore everyone thinks I am. The timing is horrible."
"All right." Frank pulled the car to a stop at a red light and turned to face me. "Stop being a brat and tell me what the hell you're really upset about."
"The video." I gave him an incredulous look. Was the fat bastard blind? "I've said that about ten times."
"Yeah, but I've known you all your life. You're upset about something else and deflecting."
"Seriously?" I ran my hands down my face and tried not to look crazy. "You're going to be the film director and my personal shrink?"
"Just dig for a minute. What's turning you into a lunatic?"
"Everything." I threw my hands in the air as my chest ached. I reached down and rubbed it.
"What's wrong with your chest?"
"I'm stressed the fuck out." Now I was just being a dick. It came so naturally.
"All right, well, calm down. We're going to do this blood test and it will help us clear up the stuff with Amber, good?"
I breathed in deeply through my nose and let it out loudly. "And why didn't Deza tell me about this video of us kissing?"
"Why did you kiss her in the first place? And in public?"
I whipped around and barked at him. "She kissed me, and it was a friend helping a friend. Funny how that shit never works out quite right for me, right?"
"Okay. Chill out. I was just asking."
"Well, don't! She needed my help to piss off Darren and now Riley hasn't called in two days after we fucked like rabbits on Saturday. I don't need your shit. I don't need anyone's." I reached for the door and he reached for me.
"Stop it. You know I'm here to help you. We'll do the blood work and have Deza meet up with us to talk things through. The three of us have been together for a really long time, Ethan. Don't throw that away. No matter what happens... we're both going to stand by you."
I let his words sink in. "You're right."
"And listen... wait. What?" He released me and pressed the gas as the light turned green.
"You're right. You guys have always been there to catch me when I fall. We'll do the blood test, talk to Deza and then I'm out." I leaned back and pressed my palms to my eyes as ten years of pain welled up inside of me.
"You're out? Like taking the day off?"
"Yeah, something like that." I concentrated on my breathing and tried to keep myself from breaking down. I wasn't taking off for a day. I was taking off for good. Freedom had always been the goal, and yet I was more strapped down and tied together than ever before. Everything was fucked up.
Everything. There was no reason at all to stay.
Someone else could be the Ethan Lewis. Hopefully someone would tell the chump that it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.