Helen had chosen a less than ideal time to come home. She had moved back in with her mother, only to be presented with John as a new member of the household. Despite having only known each other a month or so, Miriam and John were already practically joined at the hip. Miriam would come up to London for several nights of the week and John would join her in Kent for the rest, only having the occasional night apart from each other. Libby knew that for Helen this added insult to injury. Not only did Libby have a fiancé and a baby on the way, but now her mother had a boyfriend too. She knew that it must seem to Helen as though everyone in the world was coupled up and happy, except for her. Libby redoubled her efforts to include her, inviting her to any social occasions she could think of and phoning her often.
Libby’s last week of work came and went; she had decided to stop three days before her due date. Tammy and Sam had taken her out for a celebratory glass of elderflower before returning swiftly to their desks; both of their new rotations were proving hard work. Libby had never been more relieved to be leaving. It had been an exhausting time: pregnancy and being a trainee solicitor had turned out to be a less than ideal match. The last few weeks in her new seat had been especially painful. There was so much to learn, yet at the same time little incentive for her to really knuckle down and make a good start when her maternity leave was approaching so rapidly.
Libby had managed to persuade Helen to come up to London and spend the day with her the following day. After having lunch down the road at a nearby café, Libby dragged Helen back to the flat so that she could set up a couple of online dating profiles for her.
‘You really need to get back up to London.’
‘Tell me about it. As much as I love playing third wheel to Mum and John…’
‘Have you got anyone you could stay with for a while?’
‘My old roommate Joni has a space, so I’m thinking of moving back in with her.’
‘That’s perfect! When does your job start?’
‘A week on Monday.’
‘So you’ll move in next weekend?’
‘Yes, I think so.’
‘At least you’ll be able to afford your rent.’
‘Only just. It’s not very well paid.’
‘You’ll just have to get all your dates to take you out for dinner!’
‘I’ll try my best. I’m determined to get back out there, Libby. I mean, if Mum can do it—’
‘Exactly, of course you can.’ She showed Helen the photo that she had selected to be her profile picture. ‘What about this one?’
‘Go on then. I’m so useless at this. It’s up to you. You’re clearly an expert in attracting the opposite sex.’
‘Perhaps not in my current state!’ Libby said, gesturing to the laptop that was balancing on top of her bump. They both laughed at the sight. Soon she was clicking the submit button so that the powers-that-be could make Helen’s profile live. She started browsing through the lists of suitable candidates, Helen shrieking at some of her suggestions as she got extremely trigger-happy with the mouse. She ‘liked’ a good fifty profiles as a starting point, making Helen promise that she would message back anyone who sent her an opening gambit. Libby was full of hope that her efforts would pay off. Surely it was about time Helen’s luck changed.
‘Have you thought any more about going on antidepressants?’ Libby asked tentatively. She was wary of broaching the subject.
‘I don’t know, Libby. I hate the thought of being on some kind of pill.’
‘So many people take them. I can count handfuls of friends that do, and they’re all perfectly happy while they’re on them.’
‘I just don’t like the thought of artificially regulating my emotions. I want to experience whatever I am meant to be experiencing.’
‘But that’s the thing – when you are depressed, you aren’t experiencing what you should be. You’re only feeling the bad stuff. Antidepressants help lift your mood so that you can enjoy the good bits too.’
‘Well, when you put it like that it doesn’t sound too bad.’
‘Will you promise me that you’ll at least talk to the doctor about it?’
‘OK. I’ll make an appointment this week.’
‘Amazing. And you’ll call me straight after to let me know how it goes?’
Helen promised that she would.
True to her word, Helen called Libby later on that week. She had agreed to start a mild dose of antidepressants, as recommended by her doctor. Libby was delighted; she felt so proud of her big sister for taking such a big step forward.
‘Have you had any luck on Lovestruck yet? Or eHarmony?’ asked Libby.
‘I have been messaging a couple of guys following your “liking” campaign.’
‘And…?’
‘Not sure. They’re probably weirdoes.’
‘Helen, you can’t have that attitude. They’re probably just normal people, looking for a relationship just like you.’
‘Well I’m still messaging them. And I’ve been looking through profiles every day, “liking” anyone who looks interesting.’
‘That’s brilliant. You need to go on some actual dates, though.’
‘I know. It’s impossible to know if you fancy anyone until you see them face to face. As soon as I move in to Joni’s, I’ll start arranging some dates. I can’t wait to be back in London and out of the love nest.’
‘I bet. I’m so happy for Mum, though! It’s so great. I can’t believe that it actually worked out.’
‘I have to admit I never would have believed she’d get a boyfriend.’
‘Do you like him?’ Libby had met him a couple of times and thoroughly approved. He was softly spoken and unassuming.
‘I do, actually. He seems like a good person.’
‘What a turn-up for the books!’ laughed Libby.
‘So… it’s not long to go now,’ said Helen. ‘The baby is now officially late.’
‘I’m telling you I’m desperate to get it out. It’s the most uncomfortable thing in the world. It’s like a watermelon is pressing on your bladder; even my pelvis feels bruised from the pressure.’
‘Hopefully it won’t be much longer.’
‘It bloody better not be.’
She was fed up with being so enormous. The pregnancy seemed to have gone on forever and she was dying to get her body back, to reclaim it as hers and hers alone, free from lumbering around like a beached whale, able to jump up from the sofa in a flash or lie on her tummy if she wanted to. It was just so restrictive.
As Libby hung up the phone, Luca came through the door carrying several large bags of shopping. He had decided to cook a load of meals and freeze them in small batches for after the baby’s arrival. Her emergency bag was packed and waiting by the door; there was nothing left to do but sit and wait. She had read that eating a curry could induce labour, so she had requested a curry for dinner.
Ever since the scare, Luca had been nothing but the doting fiancé. He fetched her cold glasses of water, he rubbed her feet or her aching back upon request, and he ran her baths, helping her get in and out of them without slipping. She felt much happier about their relationship now that they were engaged. The problems hadn’t disappeared; Luca was still finding life away from Positano tough and she was still acutely aware of everything he was sacrificing, but she could tell that he was making much more of an effort to make things work. She was sure that he would be a similarly doting father. He had been so kind recently. She knew that he had spent a lot of his free time helping Jules with the initial stages of her coursework, and she was very grateful for him for doing so. He and Jules got on really well; it was nice for Libby that they had become such good friends.
Four days later, Libby’s contractions finally started. Because her waters hadn’t broken, the midwife advised her to stay at home for as long as possible. She only needed to go to the hospital when they were three minutes apart and lasting about sixty seconds each. She used an app to time her contractions, doing her best to keep her mind off the pain that was growing in intensity with each passing minute. When she was nearing three-minute gaps they set off in the car to the hospital, making sure they had everything they needed for Libby while she was there and also for the baby when it arrived.
Her waters broke soon after arriving. Libby had never known pain like it; she thought she might pass out from the force of each contraction. She held her breath and counted backwards until the pain stopped, sucking huge gulps of gas and air into her lungs.
After what felt like an eternity, the midwife finally instructed her to push. Luca was holding her hand and she crushed it in hers as she gritted her teeth and pushed as though her life depended on it. As the baby came out she listened for its cry as she collapsed back on to the pillows behind her. A piercing wail filled the room and Libby laughed in relief at the sound.
‘It’s a beautiful little girl,’ said Luca, tears glistening in his eyes. ‘You did it, Libby! You are incredible, she’s perfect.’
The midwife put the baby on Libby’s chest straight away, getting skin-to-skin contact as quickly as possible while she clamped and cut the cord. As she gazed at the baby, feeling its heartbeat against her skin, she felt an overwhelming wave of love course through her. She couldn’t believe it was all real.
‘I can’t believe you’re finally here,’ she said to her daughter. Tears of joy sparkled in her eyes. ‘You are the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.’ She dropped kisses on the baby’s head, covered in the softest downy hair, and placed her finger in the palm of her tiny hand as she curled her fingers around and gripped tightly.
‘We’ve been waiting a long time for you,’ said Luca, tracing the minuscule toes with his finger. ‘She is so impossibly small, and so perfect,’ he said, turning towards Libby and kissing her. ‘You are so amazing, my darling.’ They just couldn’t take their eyes off their precious new arrival, entranced by every tiny feature.
Later the midwife weighed and measured the baby before returning her to Luca and Libby with a little wristband naming her Morelli. Luca watched over both of his girls, leaving Libby to sleep when possible between breastfeeding.
The next day they were allowed home from the hospital. Miriam and Helen were their first visitors. John had politely declined the invitation, not wanting to invade Libby’s privacy too early on. The proud grandmother and aunt took turns to cuddle the precious new addition to their family.
‘We’ve decided on a name,’ Libby told them.
‘Have you? What have you chosen?’ asked Helen.
‘Isabella,’ said Libby. ‘Isabella Morelli.’
‘Lovely,’ said Miriam. ‘That works just as well in England as it will in Italy – it’s just perfect.’ Both Helen and Miriam were clearly besotted, as was Luca. He couldn’t stop taking photographs and his phone was vibrating like crazy with all the responses from his family as he sent them more and more pictures of his pride and joy.
Jules and Angus came the following day, laden with gifts for the baby and a huge bunch of flowers for Libby. Jules said all the right things and cooed appropriately over Isabella but it was Angus’s reaction that really moved her. He seemed to fall in love with the baby at first sight as he picked her up and cradled the tiny bundle against his shoulder. He was so tall and broad that Isabella looked impossibly small against him. It was a truly heartbreaking sight and Libby’s heart swelled with love for them both as she watched them, her daughter and her oldest friend, so desperate to become a father himself. He even seemed reluctant to part with her when it was time for Libby to feed her. Jules and Luca chatted in the kitchen making everyone cups of tea, while Angus asked her all about what her plans were in terms of establishing a routine for the baby. She loved how interested he was. It made it all the more clear just how wonderful he would be as a parent. She knew that it must be hard for him, that he was genuinely happy for her, despite his regret that he wouldn’t experience it himself unless Jules had a serious change of heart.
Jules and Angus didn’t outstay their welcome, for which Libby was extremely grateful. She was so exhausted from the birth itself, not to mention the fact that she had barely slept a wink since. She was feeding Isabella every three hours and trying to nap when she could. She thanked god that Luca was there to do all the housework. He was a good cook but laundry and cleaning were not his area of expertise. Libby usually took care of all the jobs that kept the household running. Watching Luca struggle through, asking countless questions as to the whereabouts of basic cleaning products made them both realise just how much Libby did around the house. Not that she minded: having a fully functioning, well-stocked house was important to her and she enjoyed it. But now that Isabella had arrived there was no time for any of that. Feeding seemed like a full-time job in itself; as soon as she had finished, it was time to start the process all over again. Her mind boggled at the thought of how anyone coped with having twins.