Libby’s heart skipped a beat as she heard the knock on the door. She had been dreading this moment. She looked at herself in the mirror. She knew it was pointless, but she wanted to look her best when she saw him. Her long brown hair was pulled back off her face in a low ponytail. Her green eyes stared back at her as she took a deep breath and walked calmly over to the door.
She pulled it open. Luca was standing outside looking sheepish. She was relieved to see that Jules was nowhere to be seen.
‘Libby,’ he said. He came inside and moved towards her to kiss her – or hug her, Libby wasn’t sure. She took a step back to avoid contact, resisting the urge to throw herself into his arms as she had done a thousand times before.
‘Luca,’ she said. Her heart was thudding against her breastbone but she refused to let him see the inner turmoil he was causing her. ‘Izzy will be awake any moment now.’
‘I can’t wait to see her,’ he said. ‘I’ve missed her terribly. I’ve missed you too…’
Libby didn’t know what to say. It was so strange to see him, to have him back in the flat.
‘I’ve packed up all your things,’ she said, pointing at the pile of suitcases and bags next to the door. ‘You can take them with you.’
‘Thank you,’ Luca said. ‘I’ve got a car here so I’ll get them out of your way tomorrow if that is OK?’
Libby nodded and sat down on the sofa. She felt numb. Luca came and sat next to her, careful not to sit too close. He put his set of house keys on the table. ‘Libby, I feel awful about how this ended. I owed you more respect than to go behind your back. I should have been honest with you.’
‘You should never have slept with my best friend.’ Her eyes filled with tears despite her intention to remain aloof. ‘If you weren’t happy you should have told me. I would have understood. But this was just the worst possible thing you could have done.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ he said.
‘I’ve had to cope with losing my fiancé and my best friend at the same time. It’s not fair…’
‘I know. I’m sorry, Libby. It just happened… and suddenly it was too late, I was in too deep and I couldn’t stop myself.’
‘You could have, Luca.’
‘It’s hard to explain.’
‘I’m not interested in your excuses or explanations. Are you still seeing each other?’
‘We are.’
‘Is she here?’
‘No. She’s in Sussex.’
‘Where are you staying?’
‘We’re staying in a flat in Lewes that belongs to friends of Jules’s. They’ve let us house-sit while they’re away travelling. It’s an hour on the train from London, so I’ve been able to get into work.’
Libby wished she’d never asked. She realised that the less she knew the better.
‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ she said. ‘You told your family…’ She had received sweet messages from his sisters, clearly upset with Luca for his behaviour, and she had been grateful for their kind words.
‘They think I’m mad,’ he said, that cheeky, helpless smile that she knew so well settling across his features. It would have made her stomach flip in usual circumstances, but now it just hurt her.
They talked a short while longer before Izzy roused from her sleep and began to chatter away to herself in her bedroom.
‘Can I?’ asked Luca, clearly longing to see his daughter. Libby nodded her head and he went into her room. She listened to him call out to Izzy and talk to her in Italian, and her heart twisted with sadness as she heard the delight in her daughter’s response at seeing her father after so many weeks apart.
He carried her back out into the sitting room. The sight of the two of them, so similar with their brown hair and hazel eyes, caused tears to fill her eyes once again. She bit her lip and turned away; distracting herself by fetching the travel cot and the bag she had packed for Izzy. Luca asked whether there had been any changes to her routine, and checked he had everything he needed for the weekend with his daughter. He was staying in a hotel down the road so they wouldn’t be far away, but it still pained her to think of their imminent separation. Libby had to stop herself from crying as she kissed her goodbye, breathing in the sweet smell of her and holding her closely. Her heart wrenched as she let them go. She knew she would have to get used to it, but it felt so unnatural, so wrong for them no longer to be the tight family unit that they had been since Izzy had arrived.
As soon as the door closed behind them, she picked up the phone and called Angus. ‘Have they gone?’ he asked, answering on the first ring.
‘Yes,’ she said, tears spilling down her cheeks.
‘Do you still want to come over?’ he asked.
‘Yes please,’ she said. She wanted to get out of the flat as quickly as possible. She needed a distraction. It was horrible not to be with her daughter at the weekend. She worked so hard during the week that she treasured more than anything the time she got to be with Izzy on her days off. Luca was taking that away from her and she felt incredibly alone; she needed company. She watched him drive off, then waited a few minutes before setting off for Angus and Jules’s house. It was a relatively cool day for June, for which Libby was grateful, considering the physical labour ahead.
Angus answered the door and wrapped her in a huge bear hug. There was a cobweb in his auburn hair. Libby reached up to remove it.
‘What is it?’ he asked.
‘A cobweb.’
‘I’ve been in the cellar bringing up the packing boxes,’ he said.
‘Well, your helper has arrived,’ she said. ‘I am at your service.’ She was looking forward to some hard work to take her mind off Luca.
‘Thanks so much for coming,’ he said. She was pleased to see that his bright blue eyes had regained a hint of their usual sparkle. The idea of moving house and having a fresh start seemed to have given him a small spring in his step. This house belonged to Jules. Angus hadn’t had enough money to contribute towards it as a struggling artist, and she had been given a helping hand by her parents to buy it. Now that Angus was doing so well with his art, he was earning more than enough to rent his own place and had wasted no time in doing so. He had collected the keys to a small flat near his studio by the river the previous day.
‘I can’t wait to see the new pad,’ Libby told him.
‘Well, depending on how long you want to stay and help, you can,’ he laughed. ‘I’m planning on packing for a few hours and then moving straight in.’
‘Is it furnished?’
‘Fully. Most of this stuff belongs to Jules anyway, so it shouldn’t take me too long to pack up my possessions and get out of here.’
They taped the flat-pack boxes together and began to fill them with piles of Angus’s belongings.
‘How do you feel about leaving?’ asked Libby.
‘Do you know what, it’s strange, but I feel quite good. There are so many happy memories from this place, of course, but there are also so many terrible ones. It feels like the right thing to do. I know it’s going to take a long time, but I think I’ll be able to move on much better in a new flat. Plus Jules could come back at any moment, and there’s no way I’m sticking around to be here when she does…’
‘Definitely not.’
‘How was it seeing Luca?’ he asked.
‘Weird,’ she said. ‘I literally hadn’t seen him once since I kicked him out. It was hard seeing him with Izzy. They are so alike. It’s strange getting used to the idea that we will never be a family, all three of us, again.’ Realising she had welled up yet again, Libby wiped her eyes with the back of her T-shirt sleeve. It was so hard to talk about it without getting emotional.
‘I’m so sorry, Libby.’ Angus came over and gave her a hug. She loved his hugs; they were so warm and reassuring. She loved the smell of laundry powder that clung to his T-shirt and she held him closely as she breathed it in.
A couple of hours later they stopped for lunch. Angus made them cheese and pickle sandwiches and they sat in the garden to eat them, enjoying some fresh air after their hard work. Libby tried not to think about Izzy and Luca, but she couldn’t help checking her phone in case he had tried to call. There were no messages, so she had to assume that everything was fine.
Later that afternoon they loaded up the car with as many boxes as would fit and drove over to the flat.
‘I love it!’ cried Libby as she walked around taking a good look at his new place. There was a large bedroom and a small boxroom off to the side, which Angus was intending to use as a study. The walls were painted a bright off-white throughout, which added to the sense of light and space. A large galley kitchen was separated from the sitting room by a breakfast bar. The flat was furnished with comfortable sofas, a table and chairs, and there was a huge double French door which led from the sitting room on to a spacious balcony. ‘It’s got such a nice feel to it.’
‘That’s exactly what I thought,’ said Angus. ‘It’s very light and airy.’
‘And the view of the river is amazing.’
‘It’s not bad,’ agreed Angus. He looked pretty pleased with his new home. It was in a newly built block of flats overlooking the Thames, and was fully fitted with all the mod-cons you could hope for.
They carried all the boxes up the stairs and into the flat, repeating the journey several times until there was nothing left in the old house that belonged to him. As they stood in the hall of the home he had shared for so many years with Jules and looked around for one last time he said, ‘I can’t believe this is it.’
‘Are you sure you’re ready?’ Libby asked, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.
He nodded. ‘It’s time.’ He shut the door and locked it, placing his keys into an envelope and sealing it shut before posting it through the letterbox. They took a step back and looked at the bright red door. So many memories raced through her head as she stood there; she could only imagine how many must be tumbling through Angus’s mind. They stayed for a few minutes in silence, alone with their thoughts.
Eventually Angus walked away, opening the car door and climbing in without a backward glance. Libby joined him in the passenger seat. Angus looked at her and raised his eyebrows. She smiled at him and nodded her head. He turned the key in the ignition and they set off for Anglesea Road and his new home, leaving all the memories behind them. They were in the past now… where they belonged.
Libby helped him unpack the first few boxes. The radio was blaring out some classic eighties tunes. They had stopped to buy some cold beers from the corner shop and they sipped their drinks as they worked.
Later that evening, Angus ordered some Indian food and they sat on the balcony and watched the sun go down as they ate. Libby’s mind had been put to rest when Luca texted her a photograph of Izzy sleeping peacefully in her travel cot.
‘To new beginnings,’ said Angus, chinking his bottle against Libby’s.
‘To your new home,’ added Libby. ‘And a fresh start.’
‘It feels good,’ he said. ‘Strange, but good. I’m glad you’re here with me, Libs.’
‘I’m glad I’m here too,’ she smiled.