Luca came to see Izzy several times in June and July. Sometimes he would take her for the day on a Thursday or a Friday when he had the day off, and sometimes he would take her for a weekend. Each time Libby became a little more used to his coming and going. She managed to spend the first night in the flat by herself without Izzy and, though she hated it, she survived. She knew that it would take her a long time to get used to her new circumstances yet, slowly but surely, her new reality was becoming the norm. She was able to see Luca without being filled with regret. She realised that he truly hadn’t been happy in their home together, as much as she had wished that he was. He was near the sea in Sussex and he seemed to have regained a little of his lost joie de vivre. She hoped it had less to do with Jules and more to do with his freedom from London and the accompanying claustrophobia of city life.
Jules herself pitched up outside Digby and Edwards, determined to talk to Libby face to face and fed up with her lack of success getting through on the phone. Knowing that she would have a better chance of catching Libby off guard on her lunch hour she hung around outside the entrance waiting for Libby to come outside. As Libby walked out of the office to head to the usual row of sandwich shops, she heard a familiar voice call her name. She knew instantly who it was. She looked in the direction of the voice and, sure enough, was confronted by a somewhat drawn-looking Jules.
‘Libby, please stop; I just want to talk to you,’ she pleaded.
Libby set off at a quickened pace in the opposite direction, feeling her cheeks flush with rage at the mere sight of her. Unfortunately there wasn’t much she could do to avoid her. Jules caught up with her in no time and grabbed her arm. The last thing Libby wanted was a scene in front of her colleagues or, worse, her clients, any number of whom could be within earshot.
‘Jules, I’ve already told you. I’ve got nothing to say to you.’ Libby spoke through gritted teeth.
‘I know, I heard you, but I have to try and talk to you… I have to try and explain.’ Tears swam in Jules’s eyes, and for the briefest second Libby felt a flicker of pity for her former best friend. She stopped walking and said, ‘I’ll give you five minutes.’
‘Thank you.’
Libby crossed the busy square and sat down on an empty bench, Jules following close behind her. She turned to face her.
‘I know you must hate me, but I miss you so much. I can’t bear what you must think of me.’
‘Really?’ said Libby frostily. She found it extremely hard to feel sorry for her and really wasn’t in the mood for self-pity. ‘This was your choice, Jules. You did this.’
‘I know, I know. And I’m so sorry. I just fell for him, Libby, that’s all. It wasn’t planned, I couldn’t help myself…’ This sounded familiar; Luca had given her the same sob story.
‘I’m afraid I just don’t buy the “I couldn’t help myself” line, Jules. Yes, you might have found Luca attractive, yes he might have reciprocated, but you certainly didn’t need to act on it. Having the thought and actually going ahead and sleeping with someone are two very different things. If you had a single moral in your body, you would never have been able to do that to me. Luca was my fiancé – and don’t even get me started on Angus…’
Jules pulled anxiously at the sleeve of her top. ‘I feel very guilty about it all,’ she said. ‘I know I was selfish and that I only thought about myself, but I felt so trapped in my life, so trapped in my marriage. Luca was a breath of fresh air; he made me feel like myself again.’
‘Jules, I really couldn’t care less how he made you feel.’ Libby was trying her hardest not to raise her voice, but she couldn’t stomach listening to Jules’s pathetic excuses for a second longer. ‘You completely destroyed two relationships because you were too selfish to think about anyone else but yourself. The two of you deserve each other: in fact you are perfect for each other. I’m glad that you’ve finally shown me your true colours and that I’ve realised that you are not even worth wasting a second of my thoughts on, a second of my time. To think I used to call you my best friend. You are nothing to me. I mean it. Nothing!’ Libby stood up and started walking back to the office; she had lost her appetite completely. She couldn’t bear the needy look on Jules’s face, so desperate for Libby to accept her insincere apologies.
‘Libby please, don’t! I’m so sorry. I hope one day you can forgive me—’
‘I will never, ever forgive you, Jules. And I never want to see you again. Don’t show up at my work, don’t show up at my flat – stay the hell away from me.’ With that she turned on her heels and walked away without so much as a backward glance, fuming at Jules’s audacity in turning up out of the blue like that.
Back in the office, she buried herself in the huge mound of paperwork that awaited her at her desk, determined to distract herself from unpleasant thoughts of Jules. Her run-in with Jules had left a distinctly sour taste in her mouth. She needed the monotony of sorting through case files to steady her nerves and calm her rampaging emotions. Never before had she had to confront someone she had loved so much after such a horrific betrayal. It had been a horrible experience and one she would rather have avoided. She had known seeing Jules would make her feel even worse, and that was part of the reason she had been so desperate for it not to happen in the first place.
Life at Digby and Edwards was as hard as ever, but Libby was doing her best to keep on top of her to-do list. She resolutely stuck to her guns, making sure that she left on time each day to collect Izzy from Zoe, her child-minder. She was nearing the end of her training contract and would soon be finding out whether Digby and Edwards would offer her a permanent place in the firm. Unlike Tammy and Sam, who had both been snapped up at the end of their training, she was ninety-nine per cent sure that they wouldn’t keep her on. It was a competitive firm at the best of times, and she knew that she didn’t put in anything like the hours that some of her colleagues did. She found it increasingly hard to care. There was no way that work could ever be her priority now that she had Izzy. A career in law would only ever take second place.
She started to dream more and more about what she might do instead. She began to seriously contemplate leaving law altogether and starting up her own bed and breakfast, her own version of La Casetta. It would be a totally different pace of life. She could be her own boss. Despite the relentless schedule of cleaning, cooking and catering for her guests’ every whim, she knew that overall her quality of life would be better, that she would get more time with Izzy. It certainly sounded tempting. She had started compiling a folder with all her research on her laptop. She found herself spending more and more time on her new project; hours would fly by as she scoured the internet for potential properties. She wanted a place that would be big enough to turn a decent profit but not so overwhelming that she wouldn’t have any time to spend with Izzy. She also found out exactly what kind of insurance she would need and she researched the relevant building regulations. She planned and practised cooking scrumptious breakfasts which she intended to prepare using only the freshest local produce. She jotted down marketing ideas, and dreamt of exactly how she would make her B & B stand out from the crowd. She was slowly beginning to see exactly what steps she would need to take. The prospect terrified and thrilled her in equal measure. She felt exhilarated at the thought and ready for the challenge. She knew that if she committed to it, she would have no choice but to make it work. It would mean selling her flat and moving, yet she realised that she was no longer afraid of the intense amount of hard work she would need to put in to make it a success.
That August, Angus and Libby decided to go away on holiday together. Neither of them had made any plans for the summer, and Libby had been delighted when Angus suggested it, knowing that it would have been hard to go away by herself with Izzy, yet feeling desperate for a long overdue break.
‘Where shall we go?’ Libby asked, her mind racing with possibilities.
‘Well, I’m planning on going to Devon at some point for my next series of paintings, so it might make sense to go there?’ suggested Angus.
‘That’s a fab idea!’ Libby said. ‘Devon is beautiful and it’ll be much easier to stay in England than to travel abroad. We can just load all of Izzy’s stuff into the car and set off.’
In the end they decided that Angus would go down a week early to get all of his painting done before Libby and Izzy arrived. Libby would drive down and join him and they would spend the second week together. Angus took control of the planning and found a little house to rent on the coast called Acorn Cottage.
Soon enough Libby was pulling into the drive, getting her first glimpse of the house. It had stone walls that were covered in climbing roses. Libby fell in love with it in an instant. The garden was full of flowers in blossom. Fat honeybees flew sleepily from bush to bush, drunk on nectar. At the end of the garden a sandy pathway sloped down to a golden beach, winding its way through dunes and wild hedgerows. It was the perfect spot for a holiday and she felt herself relax instantly. This was just the kind of place she had been looking at during her bed and breakfast research. The thought of living somewhere like this full time one day filled her with excitement once again.
Angus came out as soon as he heard the car pull up in the drive. He showed them around and helped Libby unload their luggage. The walls were stacked with small canvases covered in sketches of the local area; he had clearly had a productive week. He had also stocked the fridge and the larder with supplies ready for Libby and Izzy’s arrival.
‘Look, Izzy, it’s the sea!’ Libby said, bouncing her on her hip. ‘I can’t wait to get down to the beach!’
She prepared a round of sandwiches for lunch, banana for Izzy and fresh crab for Angus and her. They sat out on the patio to eat. The air tasted salty from the sea spray and the sun shone brightly. Libby felt the happiest she had felt in a long time, the week stretching luxuriously out ahead of her. ‘This is bliss! You are so clever to have found this place.’
‘It was total fluke. Literally the first place I looked at on the Devon rentals website. We’re lucky it was free; apparently it was a last-minute cancellation.’
‘I bet it’s always fully booked in the summer, it’s such a beautiful area.’ Libby took a bite of her sandwich. ‘Tell me about what you’ve been doing so far.’
‘I’ve been out every day with my easel and paints. I moved about quite a bit, sketching and drawing as I went, taking note of the changing light. It’s amazing how the sea changes under the sun; it has an almost macabre feel under cloud cover, but practically radiates light when the sun comes out. I feel very inspired here.’
‘That’s good. You’ve definitely chosen some amazing places so far.’
‘I certainly have. I feel as if I’ve almost run out of places in the UK, though. It might have to be somewhere abroad next time…’
‘Such a hard life! Are you happy with what you’ve got so far? Do you think you’ll need to do much more this week?’
‘I think I’ve made a very good start. I’ll definitely do a bit more here and there and take lots of photographs. But I won’t be slaving away. I want to spend time with you and Izzy.’
‘I’m glad to hear it.’ Izzy emitted a loud gurgle of pleasure. ‘And so is Izzy!’
His blue eyes softened as he looked at them both and Libby’s heart filled with affection. He looked very handsome; his face had tanned well in the sun. It always surprised her how brown he could get, despite his auburn hair. She noticed that his crow’s feet were ever so slightly paler than the rest of his skin. He must have been squinting as he painted; either that or smiling away to himself as he worked. She was pleased to see him looking so relaxed, so happy. She couldn’t think of the last time he had seemed so at ease with himself. Being away from Jules was having a wonderful, liberating effect on him. In that moment a tiny part of her was grateful for what had happened, for allowing Angus to move on and have a chance of real happiness without Jules.
‘OK, are you sure we’ve got everything we need?’ Angus was laden down with bags, an umbrella, and he also had Izzy strapped to his back.
‘I feel as if you’re carrying it all and I’ve got nothing!’ Libby said. She had a beach bag and that was about it.
‘Well that’s what I’m here for… your personal packhorse. Isn’t that right, Izzy?’ She gurgled on cue and they set off down the path towards the sea. They made a little camp below the dunes and spread out rugs, towels and the umbrella to give Izzy plenty of shade. Angus slathered sun cream on Libby’s back, and she rubbed it all over herself to make sure that she didn’t burn. The sun was lovely and hot, with a pleasant sea breeze ensuring it wasn’t unbearable.
‘Can you do mine?’ Angus asked. Libby squirted cream all over his freckly, tanned back, marvelling at how huge it was.
‘Have you been working out?’ she asked. ‘You’re so muscly!’
‘No more than usual,’ Angus replied. Perhaps she hadn’t noticed before, but he really was in impressive shape. He was built like a rugby player, tall and broad and muscular. She seemed incredibly petite standing next to him in her bikini, and she wasn’t short at five foot eight. As she rubbed the sun cream in she felt a peculiar stirring in the bottom of her stomach. She immediately checked herself, telling her mind not to be so ridiculous – this was Angus; how mortifying! But it was undeniable; she was definitely feeling the familiar flicker of desire. What was wrong with her?
She felt herself blush and sat down quickly; giving him back the sun cream and hoping that he wouldn’t notice her ridiculous reaction to his semi-naked body. She glanced at him as he bent over to pull his towel out of the bag. Now that her mind had started to go down that particular route, she couldn’t help but notice his enormous thighs, straining against his board shorts, and the blond hair that covered his tanned calves. It was as if she was suddenly seeing him for the first time. She looked away, studying the horizon with determination. She seriously needed to get some action soon – look what was happening to her, she was ogling her best friend.
‘Are you OK?’ Angus asked.
‘What? Yes fine, thanks… just soaking up the view.’ He looked at her quizzically, an amused expression on his face. She hoped he hadn’t noticed her blushing. What would he think?
‘You know that green really suits you,’ Angus said. ‘It matches your eyes.’
‘This old thing!’ she pinched the material of her bikini. ‘It’s probably lost its elastic completely; I haven’t got around to buying a new one for years.’
‘Right, I’m going for a dip,’ Angus said, standing up and stretching.
Libby watched him walk down to the sea and wade into the water. She remembered him saying that she had beautiful eyes once before, all those years ago, when they had kissed on the beach as teenagers. She wondered how much he had meant it when he had confessed his feelings for her, and what would have happened if neither of them had been so awkward about their kiss. What if they had given themselves a chance instead?
He got to waist-deep and then dived under, swimming quickly out into the deeper water before turning to wave at her. As she gave him a wave back, he turned to swim parallel to the shore. She lay back on her mat and reached for her book, soon losing herself in the words on the page, keeping half an eye on Izzy who was sleeping peacefully in the shade beside her.
Later they took Izzy down to the water and dipped her toes in the sea. She shrieked in surprise. The water was cold, so they paddled around in the shallows with her. Angus snapped photographs of them both on his camera. She imagined they looked like any other happy family on their summer holiday. At tea-time they packed up their belongings and walked back up to the house. Angus had bought scones, raspberry jam and clotted cream, so they indulged themselves with a cream tea while Izzy had her dinner. He helped Libby bath her and put her to bed, clearly enjoying every second of his godfatherly duties.
‘She is so gorgeous,’ he said as they turned off the light.
‘You’re so good with her. She really loves you,’ Libby told him.
‘Now why don’t you go and run a bath while I cook?’ he said.
‘I’m happy to cook tonight if you’d prefer?’
‘No, don’t worry, I’ve got it all lined up. Are you happy with fish? I got some lovely-looking sea bream at the fishmonger’s this morning. I thought we could have it with asparagus and new potatoes?’
Libby’s stomach rumbled at the thought. ‘That sounds utterly perfect. My turn tomorrow, though.’
‘Deal.’
She luxuriated in the hot bath water, listening to Angus pottering about in the kitchen and singing along to the radio. Soon delicious smells were making their way through the gap in the door. Libby dried herself off and pulled on a wraparound dress.
‘Do you want a glass of white?’ Angus asked as she joined him in the kitchen.
‘I’d love one, thanks.’ She accepted the cold glass and sipped the dry white wine. They ate on the patio, making the most of the warm evening. The wine was the perfect accompaniment to the sea bream, cooked to perfection by Angus. They had treacle tart and raspberries for pudding and then sat and chatted under the stars. Libby noticed that they had stopped talking so much about Luca and Jules. As if by mutual agreement, they had decided to move on from that chapter of their lives as best they could. It seemed as though they were both looking to the future rather than to the past.
The following day, Izzy woke Libby up bright and early. Having given her some food, she strapped her into her car seat and set off for the local village. She wanted to buy some sausages and eggs so that she could cook them a proper English breakfast. Angus would tell her whether it was up to scratch for potential paying guests in the future. The village consisted of a post office, a butcher, a baker, a hardware shop, a fishmonger and a grocer. It had everything you could possibly need, all from local producers. It was Libby’s idea of heaven. She went from shop to shop, filling several bags full of goodies before loading them into the boot. She had decided to cook spaghetti with prawns for dinner. It was one of Luca’s traditional family recipes, passed down through the generations. He had cooked it so many times that she had learned it off by heart, another addition to her by-now-impressive collection.
By the time Angus woke up, the house was full of the mouth-watering smell of sausages. Libby had made a fresh pot of coffee and they sat outside, looking at the sea, while they ate their sausages and fried eggs.
‘What do you want to do today?’ Libby asked.
‘There’s an amazing little beach that I found on one of my walks last week that I think you might like. Seeing as it’s another beautiful day, we could take a picnic and spend the day there?’
‘That sounds perfect. What’s it called?’
‘Coomber Cove.’
‘Coomber Cove it is!’ They cleared up breakfast, made sandwiches for lunch and loaded the car with their beach stuff. After a short drive they found the turning. They parked at a small farmhouse and followed the footpath up the hill through a rickety old gate. It led them through sun-bleached cornfields peppered with poppies and lined with dry-stone walls overgrown with wild flowers. At the end of the fields, the sea loomed below them, seemingly quite a long way down. A well-trampled path lay partially obscured by long grass, leading the way to the hidden beach.
‘You did some good exploring to find this!’ laughed Libby as they set off through the grass. ‘I’m not sure I would have ventured this far!’
‘It’s worth it, I promise,’ said Angus.
The path was steep but not dangerous, yet Libby was still glad that Angus was carrying her daughter. She trusted him not to lose his footing much more than she trusted herself; she had always been slightly clumsy in that respect. Angus had disappeared at a sharp bend to the left ahead of her. As she turned the corner to follow him, she gasped. A deserted sandy beach lay below. The sea rivalled that of Positano, sparkling for all its worth, and as clear as could be, thanks to a large outcrop of rocks that stopped the tide fifty metres or so out to sea and left the water in the cove mostly undisturbed.
‘It’s absolutely stunning,’ cried Libby in amazement. Angus had turned to watch her reaction and was chuckling to himself, clearly proud of his discovery. They climbed down the rest of the path, Angus holding his hand out to steady Libby on the steeper sections. She jumped from the ledge safely down on to the sand and ran straight to the water’s edge, dipping her toe in. ‘I can’t wait to get in the water, it looks irresistible!’
They set up camp in the middle of their own private beach, secretly hoping that no one else would appear and that they could keep this hidden paradise all to themselves for the day. Izzy was having a nap, so they left her in the shade and stripped off their clothes.
‘Race you?’ Angus said.
Libby rose to the challenge and sprinted as fast as she could into the water, trying her best to get a head start. The water was freezing but refreshing. She splashed her way as far out as she could before Angus caught up with her, tumbling her into the sea with a rugby tackle. ‘Got you!’ he laughed as she found her feet and pushed herself up to the surface, gasping.
She wiped the salt water from her eyes. ‘You bastard!’ she laughed as she splashed him in revenge. She stayed close to the shore so that she could keep an eye on Izzy, while Angus swam out to sea. After a few minutes Izzy started to cry, so she swam back, grabbed her towel and dried herself off. She scooped Izzy into her arms and walked her around the beach until she settled. When she had stopped crying and was once again playing happily, Libby came to lie in the sun next to Angus, who had returned from his swim.
They spent the whole day lounging on the beach, swimming to cool off, paddling in the rock pools with Izzy and reading their books. It was totally idyllic. When the time came to pack up and take Izzy home, they were both glowing from the sun and covered with sand in every orifice, far more relaxed than they had been in a very long time. Angus gave Izzy her bath while Libby showered, then they put her to bed and Libby began cooking their dinner. She laid the table out on the terrace and picked some flowers from the garden to put in the middle of the table. She found a candle in the sitting room and lit it before pouring them both some wine.
‘I’m seriously impressed!’ Angus said as he ate the spaghetti. ‘This is really delicious.’ She had cooked the prawns in plenty of garlic with a squeeze of lemon and some fresh chilli; it was a great combination.
‘If Luca served one purpose it was teaching me his family’s secret recipes!’ laughed Libby.
‘And fathering Izzy,’ said Angus.
‘True! We mustn’t forget that. It’s funny, isn’t it, how everything seems to happen for a reason. If I hadn’t met Luca, then Izzy would never have been born, but I know that she is meant to be here; there is no way she was just an accident. And Jules, if she hadn’t run off with him then you would never have a chance to start over, to be a father one day, and you are such a natural I just know that is what is meant for you too.’
‘I hope so,’ Angus said.
‘Cheers to us,’ Libby said.
‘To the future!’ said Angus. They clinked glasses once again. ‘So, what do you think is next in store for you? It’s not long now till you find out if Digby and Edwards will make you an offer.’
‘I’m fairly sure they won’t. And I don’t really know if I want them to anyway, if I’m honest with myself. I’ve actually been doing a lot of thinking about the future recently,’ Libby said. ‘Do you remember I once told you that I’d like to start up my own bed and breakfast?’
‘That does ring a bell.’
‘Well, I’ve been doing a lot of research. I’m seriously considering it… I’ve even started drawing up a business plan.’
‘Wow, I had no idea. Tell me more.’ They spent the rest of the evening discussing Libby’s plans. He asked her hundreds of questions and seemed impressed with how seriously she had considered the answer to each one, how careful her research had been. This did not seem to be yet another hare-brained scheme that Libby was dreaming up to escape her current job. There was something more to it this time. In fact, Angus seemed to think it was a fantastic idea, in particular because of the benefits it would have in terms of childcare. He even suggested getting involved, perhaps helping her to get the business up and running, as an investor of sorts.
There was plenty for them to talk about, and they continued to discuss the options throughout the remainder of the holiday, which was full of similar lazy, sun-drenched days on the beach. They went for walks along the coastal paths, Izzy strapped to Angus’s back; they swam in the sea, ate amazing food, barbecued on the beach and drank plenty of wine. They were so relaxed in each other’s company and they got on so well that they both agreed it was one of the best holidays they had ever had.
When Libby returned to London a week later, she felt a dull ache at their separation. She had become so used to Angus’s company, it was as if he was part of their little family. Back in her flat that evening, she picked up her phone and hovered over his number, stopping short of calling him just to check in and hear his voice. She knew that she needed to make sure she retained her newfound independence. She had promised herself that she would never rely on any man for support again, and whilst she knew he was different to ‘any’ man, he still counted. She had to admit, though, the idea of having Angus’s input and backing into her potential new business venture was extremely appealing. It was definitely worth considering. He had such a good eye, and he already had all the experience of starting up his own company, not to mention of being self-employed. She knew she needed to give it all some extremely careful thought over the next few months, when her final review would take place at Digby and Edwards.