Kate
He stared at me, speechless, as though I was the last person he’d expected to see at the house that I now lived in.
“I think we need to talk about last night,” I said, feeling a degree of confidence fueling my determination. I could do this!
I started to walk in towards him, but he closed the door slightly so I could only see a fraction of his face.
“Hey, what’s going on? I thought you understood that what you saw between Evan and me was completely innocent.
“I do. I did…” he stuttered.
“You did? You mean you don’t anymore?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I do, I get it and I’m sorry about what I did. Look, why aren’t you at the spa?”
“Wow, well I’m happy to see you too…”
“It’s not that.” He looked behind him briefly and opened the door, before coming out quickly and closing it behind him.
“Jonathan, you’re scaring me. What’s going on here? Why can’t we go inside and talk?”
“Do you trust me?” he whispered, taking my face into his hands and pressing our foreheads together. “Remember that night in bed? Do you remember how we opened up to each other? How I felt?”
“Well, that’s just it,” I said, putting my hands over his. “I have to tell you something. Actually I need to tell you something. I…”
He kissed me and pulled away, a sad look in his eyes.
“Then please, hold onto that thought and don’t say it.”
“What do you mean?” I looked at him confused and unable to read his expression.
“If you trust me, Kate, and if you’re going to say what I think you’re going to say, just get back in that car and drive away. Please do it. Go and book a room in that place at the end of the road I’ll come to there and pick you up in an hour. You can say it to me then and tell me everything. I want to hear it all, but I can’t right now. We’ll go somewhere, anywhere you want to Kate, just name it and we’ll take the jet…”
“Jonathan…” I looked at his pleading eyes then at the closed door putting every little detail together, before I turned and saw the large executive minibus parked over by the garages. “Who’s here?”
“Kate…”
“Who the hell’s here, Jonathan?” I demanded, pushing him away from me. He allowed himself to fall backwards slightly. “What’s happening that’s so important you can’t even tell me?”
“I can’t explain that just yet, but I promise…”
The door opened behind him and he spun his head around quickly to see who it was. A large breasted woman who’d been poured into a tight and ridiculously short dress stood in the doorway with a glass of champagne like she owned the place.
“Sweets,” she smiled at him, “is everything… ohhhh shit, it’s you?”
She gestured to me, spilling some of her drink.
Jonathan put his head in his hands and ran them down his face.
“Sweets? Is she serious?” I asked him incredulously. “Who the hell is she and why is she calling you sweets?”
I felt tears of anger instead of hurt threatening to fall, but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Not while the gawping woman was standing there staring at me as though I was the one that shouldn’t have been there.
“Krista, go back inside,” he said, speaking without looking at her.
“Kate, it’s not what it looks like, hon. We’re…” she began but he cut her off.
“Krista go back in-fucking-side!”
She bit the corner of her lip anxiously, turned, and disappeared back into the house closing the door behind her.
“Krista?” I asked, looking at him. “Really? Krista? This bitch knows who I am yet I’m left standing here none the wiser while she’s drinking champagne in my house dressed like that?”
“I swear it’s not what you think, Kate. Just give me a chance to explain.”
I turned and walked back towards the car partially blinded by tears. He ran after me, holding onto my arm and spinning me around.
“You want to know the truth, Kate?” he asked urgently. “You really want to know what she’s doing here?”
I shook my head. I couldn’t bear to hear him say it, not now when secretly all I’d wanted was to give him the one part of me that no one else had ever received and have him hold me.
“You know, I came here because I wanted to tell you exactly how I felt. I finally realized everything about myself and about how I feel about you. What bullshit. You shipped me off to a spa so you could sit around with her. With Krista!”
“It’s not like that, Kate. She’s here for you!”
I laughed at his explanation, feeling utterly stupid at how I could ever have thought a man like Jonathan would be tamed by someone like me especially when, from the beginning, it had been too good to be true, but the other night had thrown me off guard. We’d made love instead of having sex, and I’d allowed myself, like so many other women he’d reeled in, to get caught up in his charm.
He snaked his fingers up my arms and around my neck and pressed his lips to my forehead, and for a moment I closed my eyes, breathing in the way he smelled and forgetting the anger, but it flashed before me again when I thought about Krista with her arms around him and I pulled away.
“You know what the funny thing is?” I asked. “I don’t know why I’m letting myself feel like this. You never were and never have been mine. We’ve got a relationship and engagement built on fakeness. I should have known it would end up like this. I should have known that someone like you wouldn’t be able to give up the thrill of women like her. I was stupid to have ever let my guard down with you.”
“Come to the house,” he whispered. “I’ll explain it all. I’ll show you everything.”
I shook my head, emotionally drained.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I said quietly. “I can’t marry you and not fall in love with you. It’s impossible, I’m sorry, I can’t.”
“Why fight real feelings, Kate?” he asked, taking a step closer to me. “I didn’t say not to fall in love with me. Things have changed now. We both know they have.”
“I can’t,” I repeated. “I can’t because when I love, this is what happens. I can’t keep being hurt by people. Clearly I’m not enough to make you happy.”
He sighed, running out of ways to try and stop me.
“There’s nothing going on between Krista and me. If you give me a chance, I’ll explain everything. We didn’t want to say anything to until we were certain…”
I stepped away from him, not listening or registering what he was saying. He stopped speaking and stared at me, my heart pounding and tears making it impossible for me to even see his face clearly.
“Goodbye, Jonathan.” I managed to say without my voice cracking.
“Don’t do this, Kate,” he whispered. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before in my life. You have no idea what even the sound of your voice does to me or how different I am now you’re I my life. I need you here.”
“No, your mother needs me. You don’t know how to love or recognize when you’ve got something good. Sorry, I have to go.”
I turned and he held onto my hand, then let it slip through his grasp as I ran back to the car. The driver opened the door for me, confused and I got inside.
“St. Regis, please?” I asked him once he was seated, my voice cracking with heavy emotion. I knew it was a far way back, but I couldn’t stay in the Hamptons. Not when I knew what was happening inside the mansion.
“Yes, Miss.”
He started the engine and we pulled around the drive.
“Don’t leave like this, Kate! Wait!”
I turned back and saw Jonathan running after the car as fast as he could, the strong determination on his handsome face as he tried to stop me.
“Drive! Just drive!” I ordered, unable to bear the heartbreak any longer, and as we sped out of his reach he still didn’t give up chasing the car until we’d turned out of the drive and he was out of sight.
I felt my heart about to explode, and I could barely control the sobs that rocked my body as the realization hit me hard. That was it. Jonathan and I were over for good.