Chapter Twenty
Jonathan
“Louis, meet Anna. Anna, this is Louis the wedding planner.”
Anna stepped forward shyly and reached out her hand to take his.
“Pleased to meet you,” she said with a sweet smile.
“You’re a classic beauty,” Louis said excitedly. “I can see the color you’ve chosen to wear will really make your eyes pop.”
“Thank you.” She turned to me and I gestured for them both to sit.
“I’ve asked you both to come here today because as you know, Kate and I are getting married in three days, and I wanted you two to meet because obviously you’ll both be playing a big part in this day. Now…” I glanced at Anna and she nodded nervously. “I want Kate to know everything before she walks down the aisle, and as much as I want to be the one to tell her and explain my reasons, I’m also an optimist. I’m hoping that even after she finds out what I’ve been doing and still wants to marry me, I want the first time I see her to be at the end of the aisle.”
“Bravo!” Louis clapped shaking his head. “I never had you down as a hopeless romantic, Jonathan, but you’ve turned your life around now and you’re moving forward. She’d be a sucker to let something like this come between you both. Really!”
“I agree.” Anna nodded. “I had pondered over whether I should actually be there, and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking that considering everything that’s happened, it might just be better for me to stay as far away as possible. But I have to talk to her. I have to explain and apologize, so we’re in this together Jonathan. It’s both of us.”
I nodded, the thought of finding out that Kate had run away from the venue made me doubt what I’d done immensely…
“So,” Louis interrupted, sitting forward in his chair. “We’ll play the ceremony by ear. If it all goes to plan, I know what to expect, and if it doesn’t… well, I won’t be surprised, am I right?”
“Correct.”
“Good.”
He made some notes in his book and chewed on the end of his pen, briefly looking at the page.
“I have your colors, your menu choices, and the extra guest seats you wanted. Anything else? We’re obviously doing everything else here on our end, so you shouldn’t have to worry about that.” He stood up and reached for his coat, sliding it on over his shoulders. “Is there anything else before I run? I’ve got an appointment with the cake maker and the florist, so if not I’ll see you the night before your wedding.”
“Thanks for everything,” I said, walking round to shake his hand. “It’s all happening thanks to you.”
“It’s my pleasure,” he said, smiling and turning to Anna. “I still can’t believe this man’s finally settling down. I never in a million years thought I’d be sitting around one day planning his wedding. It’s an honor.”
I squeezed his shoulder thankful for his words.
“Enough of the sentimentality. There’s too much emotion already, and I have to save the rest for my wedding day.”
Louis threw his head back and laughed.
“Of course. I’ll see myself out. Anna, it was a dream to finally meet you. I hope everything runs smoothly for you both on the day. ‘Bye now!”
We watched him walk out and close the door behind him.
“I see why you like him,” Anna said after a few moments of silence, and when I didn’t reply, she got up and crossed the room toward me, resting a hand on my back comfortingly.
“You’re doing the right thing,” she said softly. “I know you might doubt it and I know you think it might backfire, but you have to remember it’s not your issue.”
“I went behind her back…” I pointed out turning to her.
She nodded.
“You could look at it that way, but I’m almost positive she won’t. I don’t know her nearly as well as you do, but I know you both love each other, and that’s got to be worth something, right?”
I nodded and looked out at the view over the other skyscrapers.
“Are you sure you want to go ahead and tell her? I know I do, but I don’t know how you feel about it.”
“I owe it to her,” she said simply. “I’m…”
She stopped when we heard voices outside the door, and before I had the chance to figure out what was happening, there was a knock and it opened immediately.
Helen’s face appeared, wide-eyed with a warning.
“Kate’s here to see you!” she said quickly.
“Shit! Can you tell her I’m in a meet—” She walked through the door before I got a chance to finish.
“Jonathan?”
I saw Helen’s eyes dart quickly to Anna, who’d managed to seat herself in one of the chairs in front of my desk with her back to the door.
“Kate, I’m kind of in the middle of a meeting here…” I said.
She looked at the back of Anna’s head and nodded.
“Sorry, I just wanted to know if you were free to get some lunch or…”
I walked over to her and took her hands up in mine.
“I can’t, sorry. I have another meeting in fifteen minutes. Can I walk you back down?”
She looked past me at Anna and then again at Helen.
“No, no, it’s okay. I’ll see myself out, thank you.”
She left and I followed her to the elevator, grabbing hold of her arm and pulling her back to me.
“You’re just going to leave like that?” I asked, trying to read her expression.
She pointed back towards my office.
“You’re busy and I shouldn’t have turned up like this.”
I took a step closer to her, ignoring anyone else that might be around us.
“You know I always want to see you, Kate. If it was any other day, I’d—”
“It’s fine, really.” She cut me off and planted a kiss on my lips. “I should go and you should get back to your meeting.”
“Kate…”
“It’s fine.” She pressed the button for the elevator and turned back to me. “Honestly, it is. Why don’t you come back to the Central Park apartment tonight and I’ll cook you dinner for a change? Get the chef to go home and…”
I smiled at her slowly as the doors opened and she stepped towards them. I went to follow her but she held her hand up to keep me back.
“Don’t tease me, Kate,” I said, pushing past her and pulling her into the elevator with me. She laughed as the doors closed beside us.
“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait, Mr. Davenport,” she whispered, looking at me from beneath her full lashes.
I buried my face into her neck, breathing in her light perfumed scent almost driving me insane with desire.
“You know how to make me want you,” I groaned against her, grabbing her ass in my hands. I felt myself stiffen, and I knew that if I stayed there any longer I’d be seconds away from tearing her clothes off.
She put a hand on my chest and pushed me away firmly.
“Later,” she said again, and for added measure she put her hand on my growing erection through my suit pants.
I grabbed her wrist and brought my lips to her ear.
“If you’re going to put your hand there, you’d better know what you’re getting yourself into…”
I wanted to push her up against the wall, losing myself in her curves and I wanted to take her right then, right there, but the doors swung open behind us and I stepped back away from her, keeping my eyes on hers and ignoring whomever came in alongside us.
“Tonight,” I said, as I backed out of the elevator.
She nodded; her cheeks flushed pink and her lips slightly swollen. She gave me a weak smile, and as the doors closed I held myself back from pressing the button to see her again.
It was then that I fully realized just how much Kate had changed me and how it was possible that the woman I’d met behind a bar several weeks ago had come into my life and chiseled away at the hard walls I had up around me. I just hoped that with Anna’s revelation on our wedding day she’d understand me enough to still walk down the aisle.
I pulled my car up outside the small private medical center I had my mother booked into and sat with my hands on the wheel looking at the entrance, urging myself to go inside, but not wanting to see what state she was in.
All the money and power in the world wouldn’t ever get me used to seeing her frail body deteriorating.
I killed the engine and got out of the car, running across the parking lot.
“Meredith Davenport?” I asked the receptionist when I got inside. “I’m her son. Is she still in the same room?”
She nodded and pointed towards the hall opposite her.
“Can you sign in, please?”
I filled out her form and left the desk for my mother’s room. She was reading when I walked in, her eyes sunken beneath her glasses and her gaunt face concentrating on every word. I closed the door behind me and she looked up, her face breaking into a warm smile despite her fragility.
“To what do I owe this pleasure?” she asked, putting her book down. “Did you come alone?”
I nodded and she patted the bed to the side of her.
“Come and sit with me.”
I lowered myself onto her mattress and took a deep breath. I’d known her my whole life, but now with the knowledge that she was dying with every moment, all words escaped me.
“How do you like your new place?” I asked, looking around her room. “Is it better?”
She took her glasses from her nose and put them on her lap.
“The other medical center was just fine, but yes, they’ve been looking after me well here.”
“Good.”
“Jonathan?”
“Yes?”
“Jonathan? Why won’t you look at me?”
I finally brought my eyes up to match hers, and the energetic life and sparkle that she always had was gone. It was what I’d been afraid of seeing, because somehow I’d wanted to preserve the image of her happy and smiling, kneeling in the garden she loved the most.
“You’re getting married,” she said, holding my arm and forcing excitement. “I can’t believe that I’m going to be around to see it.”
“You’ll be around for longer than that,” I said firmly. “I have a number of doctors working on your case right as we speak, and you’ll have an appointment—”
“Look at me!” she said exasperated. “My time’s running out, Jonathan. All the money in the world can’t reverse this. You’ve got to learn to let me go. Get yourself on track with Kate. Concentrate on getting married, making her as happy as you can, and at some point starting a family. You’re always going to have my memories, aren’t you?”
I nodded.
“Good, because one day you can tell your children how much I already love them, and they’ll tell their children and…”
“This shouldn’t be happening to you!” I snapped. “Out of all the women in the world and all the bad people and those who don’t give a shit about their lives, why you? I’ve turned my life around, and you won’t be here to see that.”
“You’re happy, Jonathan,” she said. “That’s more than I could have possibly asked for. You’ve finally found someone who gives you purpose. What else could a mother ask for their son?”
I bent and scooped her up into my arms, holding on to her tighter than I ever had in my life. I knew that if anyone could see me now, they wouldn’t believe it. They wouldn’t understand that I had the ability to love and show love to anyone but myself, but it was true. I was human like everybody else, and just like everyone else, I had a heart that could be broken. I’d just never allowed anyone close enough to do it.
I let go of her, and she wiped at the tears on her cheeks as I picked up her book.
“Close your eyes,” I said to her, looking at the cover. “I’m going to read this to you, Mom. Just close your eyes and listen. That’s all you have to do now. Just rest.”