Kate
“You’re actually going to go back to that hellhole?” my roommate Kim asked, shaking her head disapprovingly as I emerged from my room with my uniform on.
“I need the money,” I responded regretfully. I wasn’t as lucky as others in New York who had family and friends to turn to when they were down on a month’s rent. I had to do everything by myself, and I couldn’t afford to give up on the bar job when I didn’t have anything else to fall back on.
Kim followed me into the kitchen and watched me pull an apple from the fruit bowl.
“But the manager wanted pervs to slobber over you just to keep business?”
“I know, but if I just keep my head down, I’m not going to notice what’s going on.”
“Kate…”
“Once I find another place, I’ll move on.”
She sighed.
“What about Jonathan? I mean, you were engaged to one of the richest men in New York…”
“How did you…?”
“I read the news,” she said shortly. “Of course I know who you are…”
I felt myself blush involuntarily, embarrassed that news of my personal life had reached even someone like Kim who didn’t seem bothered by celebrity relationships and tabloid gossip.
I put another apple in my bag and looked back up at her.
“Jonathan and I were never like that. It wasn’t about money—well, not really. I actually liked him.”
“Then…”
She stopped as the buzzer sounded, and we both looked at each other before she got off her chair and pranced to the door.
“I guess that’s Max. I won’t be a second.”
She left the room, and I put the rest of my apple in the bin and washed my hands. What Kim had said still clouded my thoughts, and I tried to imagine myself back at the bar despite the anger I’d built up previously. And in some way I felt ashamed of myself. Ashamed that I was so desperate for money that I would put myself in the position to be perved on by men that treated me as nothing but an object who served them.
I looked at my blurred reflection in the kitchen window and sighed because I just wanted to be happy. I’d spent my whole life just wanting to be content. I wanted to have a job that I enjoyed and friends that actually cared about me, and I just wanted to wake up and have a purpose.
I heard Kim call my name, and I ran a wet hand over my face to hide the redness that my sudden onslaught of emotion had given me.
I wasn’t in the best of moods to greet her overly sarcastic boyfriend, but I couldn’t hide in the kitchen all evening.
I came out wiping my hands on my uniform when there, standing in the hallway beside Kim, was Jonathan. My Jonathan.
She had a huge smile on her face as she beamed at me.
“Look who I found on the doorstep…” She gestured towards him. “I’m going to make myself scarce. I’ll be in my room if you need me.”
She hurried past me, squeezing my arm as she went, leaving both Jonathan and I alone. I looked at him, still shocked that he was actually there in my apartment in person, and seeing him again after a few weeks was like the first time I’d set eyes on him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, looking at him from my safe distance. The side of his mouth turned up into a slight smile before disappearing. He looked as handsome as ever with one hand in his pocket and the other clasping a large brown envelope.
He closed the space between us slowly and I took a step backwards, not wanting to allow him too close because I knew the effect he had on me, but the wall behind stopped me from going any further.
“Kate…”
“You don’t just get to come here like this,” I whispered, emotion making my voice break. “I’m on my way to work right now and…”
“Fuck work!” he said sternly. “You’re not going back.”
“I have to.”
He stopped in front of me, taking his hand from his pocket and stroking the side of my face. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply before opening them again.
“What do you want from me?” I asked, my voice wavering.
He stepped even closer so that I could feel the length of him against me, and my head screamed at me to move away from him, but I couldn’t or wouldn’t… I didn’t know.
“I want you to understand that you’re wrong about me.”
“I know what I saw,” I said beneath his hard stare.
“Wrong,” he pointed out. “You know only what you wanted to see.”
“So who was the woman at your place? The one with the inflatable tits?”
“She means nothing to me at all and that’s what I want to tell you. I want you to come away with me so I can explain everything…”
“Explain it now.”
His eyes searched mine and he shook his head.
“We need to get out of this city and have some time alone. I need you to come with me and I’ll tell you everything.”
“Why now? Why couldn’t you tell me back then when it mattered? When I was breaking in front of you?”
He let the envelope drop to the floor with a thud and he came closer to me, running his fingers around to the nape of my neck. I tried to pull back but he wouldn’t let me.
“I know it sounds hard to understand, but you have to trust me. I promised I wouldn’t mention it. Nothing was set in stone yet, and I didn’t want to cause any problems rather than fix them. Believe me when I say I wanted to tell you.”
“How do I know you haven’t just made this up?”
“Come with me, Kate. Come away with me and let me make this up to you. Let me show you that there’s more to me than you think.”
I looked at him intently, wanting to believe him and wanting to fall back into his arms again because life had been so much more enjoyable when he was in it, but there was a part of me that had been hurt over and over again, and I wasn’t sure if I could let a man like Jonathan in to wreak havoc with my heart. He had the potential to destroy me, and I didn’t know how well I could handle it a second time around.
He pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth and then stepped away from me.
I watched him pick the envelope up and offer it to me. I took it hesitantly.
“Jonathan…”
“Do you have a passport?” he interrupted.
I nodded.
“Good. Then I’ll see you tomorrow. James will pick you up at eleven.”
“But I have work…”
“I want you to leave that place,” he said again sternly, and he reached into his pocket, pulling out a check. “Give this to whoever you live with. It’s your share of the rent for a year until they find someone else.”
“I can’t accept that,” I said pointing to it. “That’s way too much and I…”
He pinned me against the wall, bringing his lips to my ear and lowering his voice into a deep whisper.
“I’m used to getting what I want, Kate.”
I felt his breath against my skin and it made me shiver slightly with pleasure.
“You can’t have everything,” I responded as his fingers touched just above my hip.
“I don’t want everything, Kate. I just want you, and I’ve done nothing but think about you from the moment you walked away from me. I can’t stop thinking about you, and I’ll be damned if you think I’m going to give up and let you go so easily. What I said was true. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Anyone.”
He stood up, giving me space again, and I realized I’d been holding my breath.
“I want to see you there tomorrow. Give me a chance to explain and I’ll never let you down again.”
He turned to walk away but I held onto his arm.
“Jonathan wait…”
“Tomorrow,” he pressed. “Be there tomorrow.”
He walked out of my grip towards the door, stopping only to give me a long look before he disappeared through it, and I stood there for a moment pulling all my thoughts together before Kim came out of her room and rushed to my side.
“Are you okay?” she breathed.
I nodded, the envelope shaking in my hands.
She took it from me and boldly opened it, pulling out a small card and giving it to me.
I read it, my heart pounding uncontrollably as my eyes scanned the words over and over until they were etched in my memory:
“I don’t know what I’m feeling or even how to describe it, but all I know is that everything is centered on you. Come away with me and give me a chance to explain and show you there’s more to me than you think. Be packed and ready for eleven, Kate. You make me… just remember that. Yours, J”