chapter Twenty-five
Enough
Sam
I’ve been in a shit mood since I woke up to find Mo left my home. I slept on the couch that night, not able to face Mo yet, and feeling like I betrayed the right to sleep in the bed I once shared with my wife.
Once again, I had too much to drink. I sat drinking my sorrows away until I passed out. It was the only way Mo was able to leave with Czar to make her way to the Briggs’ compound, where she’s been hiding out.
At first, I was too conflicted to go after her. I know I don’t deserve her. I know that she can never be normal if she’s with me, but I want her.
For the first time in my life, I have considered finding a way out of the life. Giving it all up, taking my kids and Mo and disappearing somewhere where we can start over.
Those thoughts didn’t take me far. They made me sick to my stomach. I’ve never been a coward. Or have I?
Now here is where I’ve been contemplating deeply. I think I have been a coward. I even made myself believe that I live a double life because it was smart. When the truth is, I’ve always feared the man I’d become when I let LaSalle take over.
I sigh and spill my guts to the woman who has become like a sister to me. Cam has been like my therapist for months now. Checking in and being a sounding board when I need.
“When I’m LaSalle, my thoughts are different, I move differently, and I certainly react to things differently. Sam stood back and watched when my brothers’ children were kidnapped. It was easy to let Nate handle it like Bobby and Marcus would do by nature,” I say through the car speaker.
I have this call on my secure line. This is Cam. We can talk about anything and I knew I would need to talk about my real shit when I called her.
When Camille text me to ask me if everything was okay, with a picture of Mo and Misha working out together attached, I nearly smashed my phone. I called her needing to talk before I get to the Briggs compound so I don’t explode when I arrive. Cam is good at just listening.
“LaSalle would have tracked Whitney down and had her dipped in acid for that shit. Sam played the background when Uri’s uncle started that shit a few years back. I played my part at the table as Uri and Luca were stepping up. What LaSalle wanted to do, was find that motherfucker and string him up by the balls,” I grunt.
“I remember that drama,” Cam’s voice fills the truck. “Some good did come from it. Nico met Reese.”
I snort. “Yeah, but I had a gut feeling from the beginning that that bastard was behind things. Only, my Uncle had given me something else to do, giving me a more passive role at the time. I accepted it graciously, because it was safe. The monster within could stay hidden,” I clamp my mouth shut.
I still harbor anger for the role I allowed myself to take during that time. I should have done more. I could have done more, if I would have put in the request, but I hadn’t.
“So what do you plan to do about it, Sam,” Cam says softly. “When you and Logan are together, I see that you are a different man. I think you have to decide what you want.”
“Which leads me to my wife. I know I never really knew Ellen. She had secrets and so did I. We lied to each other and ourselves to live a façade. She knew it and now, I’ll admit that I knew it,” I reveal.
I’ve spent the last three days reading and re-reading her letters. It is clear that I didn’t truly read them the first time. I was in my feelings and didn’t take in her words.
However, this time I’ve let every word sink in. Ellen did know how much I loved her. She made that clear. That was something that jumped out at me this time around.
You will hurt so much less with her.
“You know, I think I know what makes me so angry when I’m with Mo. I do hurt less and I don’t feel I have a right to. Or at least I didn’t,” I blow out.
“What changed your mind?” Cam asks.
I think on that question. The words come back to me. I know exactly what has changed.
I’ve always known you two belonged together. Her heart beats for yours. She denies a part of herself because it isn’t whole without you. It is time, Sam. Be whole. Love the one who has had your heart.
“Her letters. Everything is in her letters. I’ve just been reading them wrong,” I shake my head and tighten my hold on the steering wheel.
I’m almost at the compound. Cam said she went to Bobby and Paige’s next door to have privacy to talk to me. It seems like everyone is at the compound today.
It was Ellen’s words that struck me. That forced me to see the coward I’ve been. I let Tasha walk away the night I met her because of one thing. I saw in her eyes that she would understand LaSalle.
I knew it. I knew it before my lips touched hers. I knew it because that night, it was LaSalle that grabbed her and kissed her, not Sam. Tasha walked away with LaSalle’s heart.
“Cam,” I say almost in a whisper as if the words I’m about to say are forbidden and will be heard by more than just Camille. “I wonder now if Ellen truly betrayed me or did she set me free.”
Cam is silent. Allowing my thoughts to roam. I remember Ellen’s grandmother once called me out of the blue to say only a few words.
“The Universe will always set itself right,” she said nothing more before hanging up.
I had been confused and later brushed it off. My chest tightens now as I think of her words and of all of Ellen’s letter. It’s starting to make more sense.
“Sam, you may not like what I’m about to say, but Ellen knew. She told me and begged me to keep her secret. For that I am sorry,” Cam says softly.
“I know. I figured out that’s what you two were fighting about all the time. You’re a true friend, Cam. I know my secrets are always safe with you. I know Ellen felt the same way,” I nod as if she can see me.
I figured out that Cam knew a long time ago. I was angry at first, but like I said, Cam is the kind of friend you can tell secrets and know they will never be repeated.
“Sam,” Cam calls again. “You might not like this either, but you and Ellen knew you were hiding things from each other. So on some level you both knew you were wrong for each other. No matter how much you both loved each other.”
Her words hit their mark. My heart aches as the truth sets in. It’s not pretty, it’s the truth. I’m not mad at her for it. It’s what I talk to Cam for. The truth.
I chuckle. “No harm done, Cam.”
Sam will always love Ellen, but in my soul, I know Sam is no more. He will not rise from the ashes. My phoenix has not come for him, she has come for me alone, LaSalle.
“Are you alright?”
“I will be. I’m pulling up, come out and I’ll take you over to the compound,” I say and cut the call.
I pick up my phone to text Bobby. I want to know what I’m about to walk into since Cam is no longer my eyes. I shoot him a quick text.
Me: Are they still at it?
Bobby: Yeah, he’s pushing her hard. I think they’re about to take a break. They’re talking.
Me: Thanks
Bobby: Get your ass here
Me: On my way
No sooner than the words are typed, Cam bounces out the front door of Bobby and Paige’s house, dressed in workout clothes. She gets in the truck and throws an arm around me in a hug.
“Thanks, Cam,” I return the embrace.
“It’s what she wanted. I’m just doing my part,” Cam says, with emotions laced in her words.
I nod and head next door. All of these things have been on my mind. They’re the thoughts that have led me to needing to talk to Mo. After dropping the children at my parents’, I started for the compound.
Cam’s text was not my first time hearing that Misha has been spending time with Mo there. I’m so tired of him. He knows he gets a pass not many will because of his role in the Alliance. I have to make sure my plan works. To rock the boat now would damage it all. The name Krupin is gold in Russia.
I don’t have time to change my footing. However, push comes to shove, I will, Misha can be sure of that. I’ve fought to keep the peace because I know my resources will be needed elsewhere.
Also, deep down, Misha has always been a friend. We only bump heads when it comes to two people, Mo and Czar. It is this friendship that allows us to go at each other’s throats, but respect each other when the dust settles.
Although, as we near the driveway of the compound my jaw is still tight. Everyone knows that Mo and I have a situation with Misha. I don’t know what Mo is thinking spending so much time with him.
I had already planned to fix things with Mo, but now, I need to fix things with her before things get out of hand. Mo is not a silly woman, so I don’t get what she’s thinking. I don’t run my shit like this. I have to lay down some rules from here. Enough is enough.
I slam my truck into park as I pull into the compound. The first person I see is Thomas Briggs. He is in a t-shirt and gym shorts, looking as young as his son and the rest of us, if not for the grey at his temples.
His sharp eyes meet mine as he ends a call on his phone. Cam and I step out and I stroll towards him. Thomas has been like a second father to me all my life. He helped me through a lot as a teenager.
Thomas pulls me into a bear hug. “Good to see you, Son,” he greets me.
“Always good to see you. Dad says you’ll be heading to Italy with me,” I lift a brow.
“This has been a long time coming,” Thomas gives a smile. “With all that’s going on, our worlds will collide at some point. Nate and I will be following you. It’s time.”
I nod, but my jaw tightens. As hard as I’ve tried to keep my worlds separate, they were never meant to be that way. I understand that now.
“I guess it is,” I say, as we all start into the Briggs training gym.
~B~
Monique
I haven’t seen LaSalle in a week. I’ve been hiding out here at the Briggs compound. I haven’t heard a word from LaSalle.
I see the children when they come by for play dates. Sammy and Megan cling to me the entire time they’re around. Misha brings Milanie along with him daily.
Go figure. I haven’t seen LaSalle in a week, but I haven’t gone a single day without seeing Misha. He wasn’t playing about my remembering the killer he built. Misha has been kicking my ass.
Val and Rita have joined in on the not so pleasant fun. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to survive the three of them. They’re all crazy.
“We’re not done,” Misha orders.
“I’m done,” I snap and I wipe my sweaty forehead. “I’m not doing another lap, sit up, or shooting another gun. My body has had it.”
“Little black girl is now little cry baby,” Misha lifts a brow at me.
I glare at him and bare my teeth. “Fine, you want to keep going. Why don’t we step in the ring? I’ve noticed that’s the one place you’ve ignored,” I say in challenge.
Misha may be much bigger than me, but he and Czar taught me well and we both know I’ll kick his ass. I’m itching to get at him. It may relieve some of this tension.
Misha looks at my shoulder and presses his lips. “How is shoulder? You drag, I don’t think you’re ready,” he shakes his head.
“You let me worry about my shoulder,” I shrug and roll both my shoulders back. “I’ve got this.”
“You sound so sure. You do know it has been years since I allow you kick my ass,” Misha smirks.
“Oh, really, so you would be up for a friendly wager then,” I smirk back.
I have him just where I want him. I’ve been waiting for the opportunity. I mentally rub my hands together.
Misha’s face lights up. “Da, I like that idea. I beat your ass, you go home to LaSalle,” he says, grinning happily.
I throw my head back. “Really,” I lift a brow.
Misha nods. “There is no more light there for children. You come back, make home happy again. I’m only one that gets to be brooding bastard. Does not suit LaSalle,” Misha says thoughtfully.
I burst into more laughter. “Okay, well when I beat your ass, I have a favor to ask,” I say and smile.
“You know I will give you the world. You just have to ask,” Misha says with soft eyes.
“Yeah, I get it now, Misha,” I say and toss my sweaty towel at him. I bite my lip because he may regret those words after I make my request. “So, when I win, you have to let Kurtrina and Milanie meet.”
Misha’s smile falls and his face becomes a hard mask. I wrinkle my brows at his reaction. I still don’t understand why he has been keeping my sister away.
“You do not know what you are asking,” Misha bites out. “Pick something else.”
“Why? She just wants to meet her niece. I don’t understand why that is a problem,” I whisper.
“Did you not see how Milanie reacted to first time she saw you?” Misha spits. “There is slight different between you and Moi poterjannuju ljubov'. Have you seen your sister?” Misha snaps.
“Yes,” I reply.
Misha closes his eyes. Just to hear him call my sister his lost love shows how deep his hurt is. His voice is thick with emotions when he speaks again. “I’ve seen pictures. She is spitting image. No, do not ask this of us. Milanie is not ready.”
I tilt my head and study him closely. “Milanie isn’t ready, or is it you that’s not ready?”
“Tasha,” Misha snaps.
I press my lips. “Okay, but will you at least think about it. She’s her family too. She has no one, Misha.”
“She has Afanasy. My Aunt made sure of that,” I narrow my eyes at Misha. His words sound more than a little bitter. I can’t help but wonder why that is.
“You want crack at me, let’s go,” Misha says like a grump.
He is officially in a funky mood. I shrug my shoulders and follow him over to the ring. Nate and Bobby just finished sparring. They are standing outside the ring bent over a phone with expressionless looks on their faces.
They both turn to look at us, when Misha waves me into the ring and then steps in with me. Nate looks amused. Bobby looks pissed off. I shrug it off and start to jump around and loosen up.
Out the corners of my eyes, I can see we are drawing the attention of everyone in the gym. I sigh, knowing it has nothing to do with my cute hot pink and grey tank top and compression capris. It has way more to do with me, at five-six, stepping in the ring with this six-four, blonde Adonis.
We’re drawing a crowd. I see Val shake her head and cross her arms over her chest. Uri is here with her today. He walks over, wrapping his arms around her waist and whispers something in her ear. Val laughs out loud and Uri smirks.
Misha must have forgot. I have eyes in the back of my head. He throws a punch straight for my face, while I seem to be distracted. I move out of the way lightning fast, at the last second.
“Da, you are still Tasha. Fire not gone. Still fast, good. Show me what you remember,” Misha nods hopping back out of my reach.
“This is bullshit, get out of the ring, Mo,” Bobby growls.
“I’m fine,” I say not turning away from Misha.
“If Rita and Val can get in with you guys, why can’t she,” I hear Paige say.
She and Pam had been on the treadmills earlier. The Briggs state of the art gym is the regular family gathering spot today. I shut out all the bickering below and focus on Misha.
He is taller and bigger than me, but I’m fast and I remember his weak spots. As he does mine, only I’ve worked on mine over the years. When Misha kicks at my right side, I block it swiftly and moving in to throw a left elbow at his right side.
Misha eyes go wide. It has been his weak spot since I was sixteen. It never fails, but to Misha’s surprise, I was ready to block my right.
I take advantage of him being stunned and jump to throw a spinning kick to his head. Misha stumbles back and I move quickly into a safe zone on his left. I almost laugh out loud at the pissed off look on Misha’s face.
“That’s my girl,” Val yells.
“Yes,” Paige and Pam call in unison.
“Well, shit,” I hear Nate chuckle. “I didn’t see that coming.”
I smile proudly. I’m not that big, but I hold my own. I had to be, running around behind Czar. My brother is no joke.
Misha turns his head and spits out blood. He flexes his jaw. Cracking his head from side to side, he narrows his eyes at me.
“You have been training, good. I won’t hold back.”
With that Misha comes at me hard. I duck him once, twice, I think I’m going to a third time, but he has only boxed me in to attack my right again. I block it, but he takes advantage of my over compensation on my left.
“Shit,” I growl, as pain explodes on my left flank.
“Enough,” a voice bellows through the gym.
It echoes through the large structure so loudly, it commands everyone’s attention. Misha and I back away from each other and turn towards the voice. LaSalle is walking in with Thomas Briggs and Camille, and he looks beyond pissed.
LaSalle pulls the black t-shirt he’s wearing, over his head and toes off his sneakers. His socks follow. Never pausing in step, he walks to the ring and steps in. I try not to be mesmerized by the roll and flex of his tanned muscles.
All of his suits should be burned. That body should never be covered up. I volunteer to be the one that burns them.
I look up at his face and see him looking at my side that just took Misha’s blow. I look down and a bruise is already starting to bloom on my dark skin. I curse mentally. It looks worse than it is. I’ve taken worse in the ring, under Misha tutelage.
LaSalle turns his enraged glare back to Misha. “You ever touch her again, I won’t be warning you that I plan to kill you. Your problem is with me. You want her, too fucking bad. She’s mine,” LaSalle snarls.
“Is that so,” Misha tilts his head. “It has not looked so in last week.”
“After I finish fucking you up, it will,” LaSalle snaps. He turns to me. “Go pack your shit. We’re going home as soon as I’m done.”
I open my mouth to protest, but I yelp instead when I see Misha drive forward and throw a right hook. My mouth pops open as LaSalle ducks the punch much like I had at the beginning of the fight.
I go to lunge at Misha in a rage of my own, but an arm bands around my waist plucking me from the ground. I look up to see Bobby scowling. He shakes his head at me.
“My little brother has this. They both need this,” Bobby murmurs as he carries me to the ropes and hands me off to Nate like I’m just some baby doll to toss around.
“Put her down, Hulk. Put her down,” Pam snaps.
I don’t laugh at the joke. I spin to face the ring where the grunts and groans are coming from. Misha has blood over his left brow as well as, dripping down his chin from the right side of his mouth.
LaSalle has an angry looking bruise on the right side of his chest and one just below his left rib. It all happened just that fast. I gasp and wince when LaSalle rocks Misha with a right jab and left hook.
That Russian has a jaw of steel, he shakes it off and throws his own combinations, but LaSalle dips out the way like a smooth street fighter and comes up swinging. There is a collective gasp as LaSalle’s last three blows connect.
One to Misha right side, another to his left, followed by an uppercut that would have put a lesser man to sleep. Misha is knocked on his ass and you can tell he is dazed for a minute.
The entire gym is surrounding the ring now and the place is completely silent. LaSalle stands and waits for Misha to move. When Misha doesn’t get back to his feet, LaSalle saunter closer and squats down to eye level with Misha. I can’t hear what they are saying, even as I lean in.
Ugh!
~B~
Sam
“You will respect my relationship with her. You ever touch her again, I won’t be responsible for what I do,” I hiss low, as I lean into a stunned Misha.
Misha blinks at me, a moment passes and he gives me a bloody smile. “There’s my friend,” he says before the grin falls away. “Show me you love her. Show me you can love her more than I do and I walk away.
“LaSalle, my friend, I have loved you for years. If not, you would be dead. I respect you both. So, show me,” Misha says with a steely look in his eyes.
I nod my head and pat his cheek, before I stand to my full height and offer him a hand. I pull him to his feet and Misha pulls me into a hug. The dust has settled.