Chapter Twelve
Maggie’s heart skipped a beat as her breath caught. It was like the air had gone wavy with lightning, thick and heavy, pure electric charges. She blinked twice, then said quietly, “Note to self: when Colin is pushed hard enough, he will push back twice as hard. Damn.”
His eyes flashed and he went still as she had. Then he shook his head and threw back the covers, rising from the bed. “I was rude. I shouldn’t have said that. I apologize.” His pale face flushing, he leaned down to grab his briefs and jeans.
“You don’t have to apologize,” she said, watching him pull his clothes on with stiff, jerky movements. “I was rude first. Don’t leave.”
“I think it’s best.” His voice was as gruff and distant as the day she’d met him.
Oh man, this was bad. “Colin.” He wouldn’t even look at her. She wasn’t sure if he was more upset with her or with himself. She sprang from the bed and went to him. “Please don’t go.” He’d already pulled on his jeans, and as he pulled up the zipper, she grabbed his hands to still him. “I pushed, and obviously too hard. I’m sorry.”
He met her eyes and nodded, but said nothing. The lines in his face were deep creases now, and his intense blue eyes glittered like ice… his shields going up.
“Please don’t shut down on me.” Her hands lifted to his face. “I don’t want you angry, I shouldn’t have poked at your sore spots. I’m sorry.”
“You already apologized. I accept your apology.”
“Then take a deep breath, stop trying to leave, and get back in my bed.”
“No.” The scowl was back. “Not tonight.”
Her stomach twisted as he pried her hands from his face and stepped away. She watched as he plucked his shirt off the floor. A desperate urgency began rising in her chest. She grabbed her robe, pulling it on as she followed him into the front room.
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, or piss you off,” she said. “I hate that I’ve clearly done both.”
“I’m fine.”
“Right. Which is why you’re running away from me.”
“I’m not running,” he said, even as he slid his feet into his shoes.
She sighed. Clearly he needed some space, but she worried that if he left now, he might not want to see her again. That maybe he’d just shut down again, both to her and to the world. “What can I say to make you stay?” she asked plaintively. “Please, let’s talk this out. I hate the look on your face.”
He glanced at her. “I just need to go, Maggie. The night’s shot. Let it be.”
“Not before you tell me something.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “What is it you think I lie to myself about?”
He shook his head and reached for his coat. “I said too much as it is.”
Her stomach lurched. “No, no you didn’t. You never say enough.” Desperately, she almost shouted, “I. Am. Sorry.”
“I know, Maggie. I am too.” He reached for the doorknob. “Good night.”
“Hey.” Her voice rang out like a shot, stopping him. “You didn’t answer my question. Answer me.”
As he stood in the doorway, his eyes landed on hers. “Doesn’t matter, really. We all lie to ourselves on some level. It’s how we survive.” He closed the door behind him.
She stood in the middle of the room, arms wrapped around herself and her stomach in knots, aching.
*
Colin tapped away at the keyboard, filling in the last bits of data necessary. The phone intercom buzzed and he sneered at it. Punching the button, he bit out, “Yes?”
“Sorry to bother you, Colin,” came Theresa’s meek voice. His assistant had been tiptoeing around him since yesterday morning, when he’d gotten to work in a clearly foul disposition. Since leaving Maggie’s flat late Tuesday night, his insides hadn’t stopped churning. Her insightful observations had hit a mark, and what was worse, he’d run, just like she’d said. He wasn’t proud of that, but he’d still needed space.
He’d growled and grunted his way through Wednesday, even kicking the copier when it jammed. He put on his best game face through dinner with Roisin last night and hit the gym hard this morning, but couldn’t shake his rotten mood. Worst of all, he hadn’t heard from Maggie since he’d left her standing in her front room, looking upset, those beautiful brown eyes filled with remorse and concern. He didn’t blame her for her silence. He’d been a surly bastard. He’d run, like she said. Like a coward.
She had apologized profusely. He believed her when she claimed she hadn’t meant to dig so hard. He owed her more of an apology too, both for his attitude and for leaving. Because, he knew, she’d been right. All the things she’d said were dead on, which is why it had unsettled him so much.
He wanted to fix things. He just had to man up and do it.
“You have a guest.” Theresa’s voice through the intercom brought him back.
“What? I’m busy.”
“She’s insistent.”
She? Colin blinked. Roisin never came to see him at work. Maybe it was Shannon? He’d left her a voice mail two days before, and his favorite sister sometimes came by to take him out for lunch. Staring at the phone, he finally grunted out, “Whoever it is, send her in.”
The door to his office opened a few seconds later, and Maggie walked in.
His eyes went round as he gaped. “What… how did you know where I work?”
“You told me,” she said. “Duh.”
He watched as she closed the door behind her and looked around his office. He’d never cared for it. It was a dull space, but at least a decent size. She brightened the place. Her golden ponytail, red long-sleeved T-shirt, dark skinny jeans, and kicks made her look younger than thirty. She could have been one of the graduate students.
“You look great in a tie,” she remarked. “And that blue brings out your eyes.”
He touched it; he’d forgotten what he was wearing because he didn’t care.
“Nice office,” she said.
“It’s gloomy as shite,” he grumbled.
Her thin brows arched. “So’s your mood, I see.”
He sighed and scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck. He was screwing this up already. “What are you doing here, Maggie?”
“I hated how you left the other night. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” Her mouth twisted sadly. “I’ve missed you.”
Her words hit him square in the chest. It was as if things slowed down, gurgling to a standstill. “You could have texted me.”
“I was afraid you might not answer. Or brush me off.” She crossed the small room to stand before him, only the desk separating them. “I wanted to see you. So here I am.” Noticing the framed picture on the corner, she picked it up to study it. “These are your kids?”
He nodded, sitting back in his chair. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. His fingers itched to reach out and touch her. To grasp her at the waist and pull her onto his lap. He longed to kiss that sweet mouth until she was senseless. God, he’d missed her too. After only a day and a half. He was in serious trouble.
“They all have your eyes,” she said. “That amazing blue.”
“It’s a McKinnon trait,” he acknowledged with a nod.
“Ah. Well, your sons are handsome and your daughter looks like she’s got fire.”
“She does indeed.”
“Just like her father.” Maggie set the photo down and searched his eyes. “You still mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you,” he murmured. “I’ve been a bloody beast since I left your flat. I’m sorry for how I sniped back at you, Maggie. And for how I left. I’m embarrassed by my behavior. That wasn’t well done of me.”
She gave a little shrug. “I should’ve minded my business in the first place and not said some of the things I said.”
“Maybe so, but guess what? You weren’t wrong,” he admitted. “That’s what got to me.”
Slowly she rounded the desk to stand in front of him. Their knees bumped as she asked, “Can we call a truce?”
“Yes, please,” he murmured. “I… It’s good to see you. I’ve missed you too.”
She smiled softly at that. “I hoped you did, even a little.”
“I did. More than a little.”
“I sensed you needed space, so I left you alone. But then I wanted to fix things. I had to do something. So…” She shrugged adorably and held out her hands.
He rose to stand, touching her cheek tentatively as he gazed down at her. “Thanks for being braver than me.”
She leaned in and closed the gap between them, leaning into him as she reached up to grasp the back of his neck, pulling his head down so she could kiss him.
He fell right into the kiss, his arms banding around her to yank her in as their mouths played. She tasted sweet, like honey and berries… smelled good, felt good… everything about her swallowed him up, and he was glad to drown. His hands moved over her hair, down her back, landing on her arse to press her closer.
“I was worried you wouldn’t go to the pub tonight,” she said between kisses. “Thought maybe you were avoiding me.”
“No. I would have called you. I wanted to fix things too.” He kissed her again and again. “I’m bloody glad you showed up.”
“I’m glad you’re glad. Didn’t know how you’d react.”
He shifted his hips so she could feel his growing arousal. “I always react when I see you, and it’s always both beyond my control and a positive thing.”
She smiled against his mouth before diving in for more kisses.
“We should get out of here,” he finally said.
“Before someone walks in?” she asked.
“Aye. Or before I take you right here on my desk.”
“Mmmm.” Her eyes flared with desire and wicked mischief. “I dare you to.”
Now his eyes widened, and his mouth went slack. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am.” She nipped at his bottom lip. “Does the door have a lock?”
“We can’t!”
“Why not?”
“I—this is my workplace!” he sputtered.
She laughed and bit his chin. “I knooooow. It would be fun.” Her hand slid in between them to rub his erection through his pants and he moaned. “You said this place is gloomy? Let’s make it less gloomy.”
“We can’t,” he said, even as she nipped and licked at his throat. One of his hands squeezed her breast while the other kneaded her firm backside.
“I’ve never had sex in an office before. Have you?”
“Of course not!”
“Then we really should.”
She bit his earlobe and ran her tongue around it, and he almost collapsed at her feet.
“Christ, you’re wicked,” he managed hoarsely.
She giggled. “Does the door lock?” she asked again.
Heaving a strangled sigh of surrender, he nodded. His brain could barely form coherent sentences. He was lost in a charged haze of lust and need.
Maggie locked the door, pushed him to sit back down, and dropped to her knees before him. Her hands went right to his belt buckle and another groan escaped him.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” he said, his desire for her mingling wildly with fear of being caught. The sound of his zipper coming down made a new surge of panic shoot through him. “We really shouldn’t be doing this.”
“I love it,” she said, her grin absolutely roguish. “You need to let loose, be naughty. I’m the perfect person to help you with that.” She freed his rock hard cock from his briefs and gripped it gently, pumping up and down a few times before leaning in to lick the crown. “Mmmmm…” She took him deeper into her warm, wet mouth.
Colin’s eyes rolled back in his head. He gripped the arms of his chair as he gave in, possessed by this enchantress kneeling between his legs. After a minute, he reached for her. One hand gripped her shoulder, the other grasped her long, silky ponytail and wrapped it around his fingers. Her head bobbed up and down as her mouth… Christ, her mouth. Her mouth was amazing, and she was a seductive powerhouse. She owned him right then. He didn’t care if the bloody chancellor of the university walked into his office, nothing would matter but the feel of her incredible mouth on him.
“Maggie,” he whispered fiercely. “I’m getting close, love. You should stop…”
She made a noise that signaled “no” and sucked harder, using more suction, her head bobbing faster as her hand pumped him in sync.
He groaned low, the sound rumbling from deep in his chest as his fingers twisted more tightly in her hair. His hips rocked up of their own volition, the rhythm primal. He was mindless, lost… he was going to explode.
At his desk. At work.
Lord forgive him.
“Maggie,” he warned, panting. His whole body was in flames and he could barely breathe. “Christ, that’s so good… soooo good… oh fuck…”
He came hard, his mind going completely blank as the sensations crested through him. He held onto her, wild and senseless as he bucked and panted through his release, doing everything he could not to roar. When he was done, his eyes slowly opened to look down at her. She was already smiling up at him, her lips a bit puffy, her cheeks rosy, her eyes sparkling with satisfaction. She looked wicked and magnificent and was the sexiest woman on earth. He stared at her in a daze.
“You’re naughty, Colin,” she murmured, wiping at the corners of her mouth. “Letting me have my way with you in your office like that.”
He could only huff out a hoarse laugh. His heart was still racing. “I can’t think of anything clever to say. The blood’s not back up in my brain yet.”
She giggled with delight and reached for him. He leaned down to kiss her lips, whispering against them, “That was mind-bending. Amazing. Thank you.”
“My infinite pleasure.” She kissed him again. “You needed that.”
“I did. You have no idea how tense I’ve been since we argued.”
She kissed him once more before rising to her feet. “That’s behind us now. Right?”
“Yes, please.” He didn’t want to talk about all that anymore, more than happy to put it behind them, even though it was unresolved. This was a fleeting, casual affair. They only had a short time together. He didn’t want to drag it down with heavy analysis or disagreements, and was sure she felt the same way. Being without her for a short time had showed him how much he didn’t want to be without her. He wouldn’t bring any of it up again.
He tucked himself back into his trousers and zippered them, then buckled his belt. Standing, he pulled her close for more kisses. “Meet me at the pub tonight. Seven o’clock. Let me buy you a pint. Then let me come to your flat and give you some of what you just gave me.”
Her smile dazzled him. “I’d like that very much.”
*
A few nights later, Maggie took Colin to a club she’d heard about. It was more like a fun center, with all sorts of things he used to do with the kids. There were arcade games, air hockey tables, ball tosses—but there were no kids there, only adults.
“This is… different,” he said, trying to keep the skeptical edge off his tone.
“Yup! It’s like a retro adventure for grownups,” she said with that bright smile he adored.
He felt foolish even being there. “This is ridiculous.”
“No, it’s not. We’re going to have fun. C’mon!”
She tugged him by the hand. The lights were neon bright, the music and sounds from the games too loud… but Colin had to admit, he had fun with her. They played competitive air hockey, and he won three matches out of five. They played PacMan and Space Invaders, pinball machines and car races, all sorts of arcade games he hadn’t played, much less thought about, in years.
They laughed a lot. They kissed and touched often. He had a grand time.
Following signs, she pulled him into a big, darker room. There was a long bar in the far corner, lit by blue neon lights, and more lights that flashed in sync with the music playing as people swayed on the dance floor.
“Dance with me,” Maggie demanded.
“Not without a beer or two in me,” he said. Christ, he hadn’t danced in years, and he was probably one of the oldest people in this room. He’d have to be good and buzzed to even consider what kind of fool he’d make of himself.
“Let’s go, then,” she said, unfazed. She dragged him through the crowd to the bar, where they each did a shot of tequila before having a beer.
He watched her body sway in time to the music, a barely restrained ball of energy. “If you want to go dance,” he said, “don’t let me stop you.”
“No, I’ll wait,” she said. “The only one I want to dance with is you.”
Charmed, he couldn’t help but grin as he took another large swallow of beer.
She moved close, shimmying against him as she looked up at him from beneath her lashes. Tonight she’d worn a tight black long-sleeved top and black skinny jeans… with boots. Black leather boots that went up to her knee. She made casual clothes and a pair of fuck-me boots astounding. She was sexy as hell and he could barely stand it. He wanted to flatten her back against the bar and ravage her. Unable to keep his hands off her, they went to his waist as she danced, gliding down to where her hips swayed seductively to the beat. Feeling them undulate and roll reminded him of how they did that under him in bed, and a fresh surge of lust shot through him. Just watching her was a massive turn on, much less feeling her grind against him.
Good Lord, he was so at her mercy.
She smiled again, clearly enjoying herself. “When’s the last time you danced, Colin?”
“I don’t remember,” he admitted. He thought for a few seconds. “Maybe my brother’s wedding? I was drunk as all hell, mind. Roisin dragged me onto the dance floor. It’s a blur.”
She laughed and kept moving, all up on him. “You need to dance with me,” she said. Her hands linked behind his neck and her lips brushed his neck.
“I need to be a wee bit more drunk first.”
“No you don’t. No one’s watching you. It’s dark in here. Just dance with me.”
He finished the rest of his beer in a few hard gulps. “Okay.”
The song changed and she let out a little cry of delight. “I love this song!” she said, and pulled him onto the dance floor. He finally had enough of a buzz to allow it.
He recognized the song, his daughter had played it often. The beat had a sexy, killer hook as the ginger sang about being in love with the shape of you… the crowd moved, the lights flashed through the darkness… Colin fell into the hypnotic beat and even more hypnotic way Maggie moved with him. She was a sensual wonder. His hands skated over her as they danced together; he forced himself to relax and live in the moment. This is what being with her was about in the first place, wasn’t it?
She pressed close, singing along with some of the words in his ear. His hands skimmed along her back, over her curves, just trying to hold his own as they danced.
“You’re good, you know,” she said, smiling. “You’ve got moves.”
He snort-laughed, a combination of shyness and cynicism. “Nah. It’s all you.”
“Nope, nope, nope,” she sing-songed, and he realized she was a little buzzed herself. “I’ve been in bed with you. I know you can move, Irish.” They laughed together and kept dancing. He had a really good time, more than he’d thought he would.
Later, they went back to her flat and tore into each other. She always liked it fast and hard, and he had no problem giving her what she wanted. Afterward, as they lay in a tangled and sweaty heap, she said to him, “You’re fun.”
“No one’s ever said that about me in my life,” he said. “You bring it out in me.”
“I couldn’t if it wasn’t already there.”
He didn’t have a response for that, so he just kissed her.
“I’ve been thinking,” she said. Her fingertips trailed along his chest, slow and light. “Let’s go to Vienna next week.”
He jolted in surprise. “What?”
“For a few days. Four or five. Wrap it around a weekend, so you won’t lose too many days at work.” She played with his chest hair as she talked, her warm breath feathering against his shoulder. “We can stay at B&Bs, not spend a million bucks.”
“Maggie…” He could only gawk at her.
“I want you to see it.” She kissed him. “If I go with you, I’ll know you finally went.” She shifted so she could look into his eyes, and he saw the determination there.
“I don’t know if I can take off work that easily,” he hedged.
“You’re the boss. Pull rank.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Sure it is. You told me you had weeks’ worth of vacation time you hadn’t used.”
“I’ve used a few days to go on local excursions with you,” he pointed out.
“Four, five tops. That’s not ‘weeks’ worth,’ Colin.”
“What about you? You’re here to write about travel in Ireland, not Austria.”
“I’m also my own boss,” she reminded him. “Truth is, I’ve already got most of my list compiled. If I had to wrap up Ireland in a week, I could. So let’s do it.”
He was stunned. She’d obviously remembered when he said he’d always wanted to go there, but this was… she was… sweet Jesus. “Maggie, I can’t just pick up and take a trip like that.”
“Can’t? Or won’t?”
He frowned. “Maybe both.”
“Is your passport current?”
“Well, yes, but that’s not—”
“You always say no to things. This time, just say yes.” She leaned up on one elbow to stare at him. “You know you want to. Be spontaneous for once in your life, Colin. Let’s do it. It’d be wonderful.”
He gazed at her for a long time as his mind worked. Could he actually do this? Just take time off work, leave the kids behind… he did have plenty of vacation days stored up, she was right about that. And the truth was the kids would be fine. They probably wouldn’t even miss him. Patrick was at university; he’d only seen him once since the semester started. The other two didn’t want to hang out with him on weekends much anymore. He could have dinner with Roisin and Stephen on Wednesday night, leave Thursday, and come back on Monday or Tuesday… God, Vienna. With Maggie as his companion. He knew it would be amazing.
He stared at her, his sense of duty and buried fears warring with his desire to throw off his self-imposed chains and do something impulsive and unstructured for once in his life.
“Say yes, Colin,” Maggie whispered. Her fingers, feather light, traced along the side of his face. “Say yes.”
He looked deep into her eyes. This beautiful creature in his arms wanted to help him live out a dream. He’d be a bloody fool not to take her up on it.
And he’d be furious with himself for the rest of his life if he didn’t.
Something all-consuming flowed through him, like a thick warm rush in his blood. Deeper than affection, sweeter than anything he’d ever known.
He kissed her lips lightly and said, “Yes.”