Chapter 14

Gracen

I open the glass door that leads out to a courtyard just off the hospital cafeteria. It’s for anyone to use—patients, visitors, and medical staff—but today all of the tables are filled to capacity since it’s an unseasonably cool day for September in the Carolinas.

Or so I’m told.

Spotting Josie sitting at a round table that seats four, I start winding my way through people. She’d texted me this morning soon after I got to work and we made plans to meet up for a quick lunch. We both work the same 7 A.M. to 7 P.M. shift today.

“I’ve got about twenty minutes,” I say as I plop down in a seat to her right.

“I’ve got about ten,” she returns with a grin, then takes a huge bite of what looks like a tuna fish sandwich.

“Show-off,” I say with a faux grumble in my voice.

Josie snickers while she chews. I open the cellophane wrapper on the ham and cheese sandwich I’d grabbed from the cooler in the cafeteria. The line for the hot food was too long, filled with visitors who had more time than the medical staff did to eat.

As I’m biting into my sandwich, Josie is swallowing. She wastes none of her ten minutes. “How are things going with you and Marek?”

I ignore the true meaning behind her question and focus on generalities. “It was really nice having his parents in this weekend to meet Lilly. She really took to them.”

That distracts her enough to let go of Marek. Her eyebrows furrow slightly. “How was it with them?”

“They were far nicer to me than I deserved.”

Josie’s look of concern turns into one of dismissal. “You deserve to have everyone treat you nicely, Gracen.”

“Maybe so. But I also deserve some of their anger.”

“But you didn’t get it?” she asks.

I shake my head. “They were so sweet and forgiving.”

“Marek could take a lesson or two from his parents,” Josie mutters.

“Actually,” I say as I pick at the crust on my sandwich. “He asked me to stay at the house rather than move into an apartment. Promised me he wouldn’t be a dick.”

Josie’s eyebrow raises. “Well, well. This is a nice turnabout.”

“Maybe.” My noncommittal tone must contain what Josie takes as a secret message, because both her eyebrows shoot up.

She leans over the table and murmurs, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. Now spill,” she growls at me.

I throw my hands up in the air and exclaim loudly, “Fine. He kissed me.”

The people at the surrounding tables all turn their heads to look at me. My face flushes with heat and I duck my head. Leaning toward Josie, I mutter, “He, like, really kissed me and I kissed him back.”

“So are you two…like back together?”

Shaking my head, I disabuse her of that notion. “No way. The kiss came on the heels of another argument where he was mad at me for keeping Lilly a secret. It was nothing more than him channeling that anger into something else.”

“What was it for you?” she asks, her head tilted curiously.

God, it had nothing to do with anger for me. I kissed Marek back because I still loved him and loved that he was now trying to be a great dad to Lilly. I kissed him because I want him in all ways a woman can want a man.

I foolishly, stupidly, insanely want him.

I pick up my sandwich and look at it in consideration as I say, “I want peace in my life. I want to be happy. Those things aren’t going to happen with Marek. So that kiss can’t have any meaning to me.”

Taking a bite of my sandwich, I let Josie process those words. She just stares at me, measuring perhaps my silent resolve not to delve into this any deeper. I can see the moment where she decides to push me. It’s a twinkle in her eyes, totally calculating and mischievous.

I swallow my food, prepared to shut her down in case she has starry-eyed notions of Marek and me getting back together, but a voice says from behind me, “Hey, Josie.”

Twisting my neck, I look up and over my shoulder to find a very handsome doctor standing there. Even though he’s said hello to Josie, he’s staring at me. His brown hair is trimmed neat, and his matching brown eyes seem kind and friendly.

“Hey, Aiden,” Josie replies.

I give the guy a smile, and the one he gives back to me is blinding before he steps to my left and takes a seat without being asked to join us. His gaze goes to Josie. “Going to introduce me to your new friend?”

Josie rolls her eyes and then waves her hand in my direction. “Aiden, this is Gracen. She’s an L and D nurse. Today’s her first day. And Gracen, this is Aiden McCune. He works in the ER with me.”

“Dr. McCune, nice to meet you,” I say as I stick my hand out toward him.

Rather than give me a strong, professional handshake, he takes my hand softly, and with the most charming smile I’ve been given in a long time, replies, “That won’t do. You must call me Aiden.”

“Oh geez,” Josie mutters, and while I don’t look at her, I can feel another eye roll being given.

Aiden just chuckles and releases my hand. He sits back casually in the chair and angles his body toward me. “I was just finishing up my lunch and saw you two over here. Thought I’d come introduce myself.”

“And flirt,” Josie adds.

My eyes cut to her and she smirks at me, but I can tell by the amusement in her eyes that this Aiden must be a good guy or she’d shut him down.

Josie then looks to Aiden. “Gracen’s new to the area. Just moved down here from New York.”

Aiden turns to me. “Oh yeah? How are you liking it?”

“It’s a really nice area.” I know that’s not overly descriptive, but what else can I say? I’ve been here more than two weeks and haven’t had a chance to do much other than try to stay away from Marek’s wrath.

“What brought you here?” Aiden asks as he props one ankle over his knee, indicating he’s settled in for some casual conversation.

I don’t hesitate for a moment, because if Aiden is flirting with me in a serious attempt to delve into some good conversation, I’m just going to lay it out there to him. “I had a baby about three and a half years ago and kept it secret from the father. He recently found out and came up to New York, practically kidnapping me and my daughter, Lilly, to bring us back here so he could get to know her.”

Aiden’s jaw drops and Josie starts laughing hysterically. She draws in a deep breath, looks like she’s going to say something, and then starts laughing again.

“Wow,” Aiden says slowly, his lips curving upward. Josie’s laughs turn to snickers. “You’ve got a colorful past. I like it. So are you back with the father?”

“No,” I say quickly. Maybe a little too quickly, and Josie’s snickers go immediately silent as she watches me. My gaze cuts back to Aiden. “I’m single and enjoying myself.”

“Enjoying yourself so much that you’d pass up a nice dinner out with a sincere, good-looking guy like myself?” Aiden asks, his smile going sly.

I laugh and shake my head. “I think I need a little time to get settled into my new life here. Things are a bit hectic and, well, dating would kind of complicate things for me.”

“How about maybe just lunch one day here at the hospital cafeteria?” Aiden presses. “We won’t even call it a date.”

I have to admit, the man is charming in a way I’ve not ever encountered before. He’s not laying it on overly thick, and I’m flattered by his interest. I’ve not felt worthy of a man’s honest attention in a very long time, so it’s a little bolstering to my self-esteem.

I turn to look at Josie and scratch my chin, “I don’t know. Josie…is he really a good guy like he claims?”

Josie’s eyes practically sparkle with mischief as she turns to look at Aiden. I look at him as well and I’m surprised to see him cringe.

“Aiden broke my heart,” Josie says, and I’m so stunned my head whips back toward her. She grins at me. “It’s true. Way back when. But in truth, I can’t be mad, because Aiden’s path and mine weren’t meant to flow together. I was meant for someone else and he’s got someone out there waiting for him too.”

My eyes slide back to Aiden, who has a mixture of regret and embarrassment on his face as he stares at Josie.

“But yes,” she continues, and we both look back to her. “He’s a good guy, and I think you should have lunch with him sometime here at the hospital.”

“Well, that was awkward,” Aiden mutters as he pushes up out of the chair. Josie doesn’t look chagrined in the slightest.

I’m surprised when Aiden bends over and presses a swift kiss to the top of Josie’s head and says, “You’re a brat.”

A soft laugh flows out of Josie’s mouth, and it makes Aiden smile at her as he shakes his head. He then turns to look back to me. “It was nice meeting you, Gracen.”

“Likewise,” I say, feeling a bit bad for him. Josie just totally ruined his game, so I add, “And I’d like to meet up for lunch sometime.”

Aiden’s grin splits so wide, and is so dazzling for a moment, I can’t help but smile back at him. “Awesome. I’ll get your number from Josie later.”

After Aiden leaves, Josie starts packing the rest of her sandwich back into the plastic wrapper. “And my ten minutes are up. I need to get back.”

“The life of an ER doctor,” I say with a laugh before taking another bite of my sandwich.

“Seriously, though,” Josie says as she stands up. “Aiden is a good guy. You know, if you’re interested in dating.”

I shake my head as I measure my feelings right now. Aiden was a really nice guy, and getting to know him as a friend would be fine, but for some reason it feels like a betrayal to do so. “I’m really not, Josie. Maybe in time.”

As if she could read my thoughts, she leans in toward me, placing a palm on the table. “You don’t owe Marek anything. You may be living there and coparenting with him, but you are free to date others.”

“And that kiss?” I murmur softly, feeling ashamed it meant something to me and not to him.

“What kiss?” she asks with an arched eyebrow. “You said it can’t have any meaning.”

I give a sigh of frustration. “But just because it can’t have meaning doesn’t mean it doesn’t.”

“I’m not following,” she replies, her eyes filled with concern.

“You need to get back to work.”

She ignores my brush-off. “I can spare a few more minutes.”

“Don’t bother,” I say with a forced smile. “It’s really nothing worth talking about. I’ll admit I still have some feelings for Marek, so the kiss meant something to me. But he doesn’t have those feelings anymore for me. They’ve been gone for a long time, as evidenced by the fact he broke up with me. I’ve just got to remember that and focus on helping him to build a better relationship with Lilly.”

“I think you’re wrong,” Josie says, and I blink at her in surprise.

“You don’t know Marek. I’m not wrong.”

“He might be angry, Gracen,” Josie says with such surety she makes me pay attention to what she’s saying. “But he loved you at one point, and you bore his child. I don’t care what ugly feelings exist, there is going to be a part of Marek that loves and respects what you gave him as a father. That could be something to build on.”

I’m shaking my head without giving any thought to that. “Impossible.”

“Why?”

“Because put aside for one minute that Marek is angry with what I did to him—keeping Lilly from him,” I say in the barest whisper. I take a deep breath, let it out. “Put that aside and realize Marek betrayed me too. He broke my heart and left me when I was vulnerable. I might not be having the same feelings of anger, but don’t think that what he did to me isn’t without consequences. I don’t know that I could ever trust loving him again.”

Josie’s face goes pale as she takes in what I just said. She swallows and gives a slight nod. “I hadn’t really thought about that.”

“Well, I have,” I tell her. “A lot. For years, actually. I had these stupid fantasies that one day Marek would sweep back into my life and tell me what an idiot he was for leaving and that I was his true soul mate. The only woman he’d ever love. And as every week, month…hell, as the years went by, I realized that was nothing more than wishful, pathetic thinking. There’s nothing to build upon between Marek and me because despite how much I still care for him, I don’t think I could ever trust him again not to break my heart.”

Josie just stares at me a moment, then surprises me by moving around the table to squat down beside my chair. She takes one of my hands in hers and squeezes. “I’m sorry. And I know what you’re feeling. I felt the same exact thing with Aiden once upon a time. The only thing I can tell you is that time will heal those wounds. And maybe it’s not meant to be Marek for you. Hell, maybe it’s Aiden or some other hot dude that would worship the ground you walk on. My only advice to you is to be open to it. Don’t close yourself off to possibility.”

I think her words are foolish, but she’s a wonderfully kind human being who is riding high on finding the love her life. So I just smile at her and give her what she needs to hear right now. “Okay. I promise I’ll keep myself open to possibility.”