Chapter 23

Marek

I’m poised to sink myself deep into Gracie’s body, and it’s truly the only time tonight I’ve felt in control and that things were right.

The game tonight was an intense battle, and I felt more pressure knowing she was watching. We won, but not a second went by when I wasn’t hyped up on adrenaline and nerves.

After the game, I’d sat in an ice bath next to Reed—which our trainer Vale had said was essential to our good health—and I was reminded that there was going to be nothing overly easy about the evening out.

“Let’s go out somewhere for a quiet drink and some food,” I’d suggested to Reed.

He’d looked over at me, teeth practically chattering. “Why not Hoolihan’s? It’s tradition.”

I’d shrugged, my jaw straining from clenching to keep my teeth from chattering. The ice bath is torture, and I’m guessing Vale is focusing her pregnancy hormones straight at the players to make us suffer. “I just don’t think Gracen’s ready for that yet.”

“What do you mean?” His expression was perplexed, and I didn’t think he’d be that dense. He was a part of the swinging single life not all that long ago.

“I broke up with her, left her behind, for all the reasons that will be inside Hoolihan’s tonight.”

I was talking about the puck bunnies and worshipful women who will come on to me regardless if I’m standing next to Gracen as my woman.

“You don’t want to rub her face in that,” Reed had concluded with a grave nod, then he’d pushed up out of the ice bath as the timer went off.

I had followed suit, grabbing a towel. “Yeah…that’s pretty much it. Gracen probably has some clue, but I don’t want to have to deal with that just yet. Not when things are a little unsure between us.”

So we went out to a little bar not far from the arena that was more low key. We ate good food, had a few beers and a good time joking and talking with Josie and Reed. I’ll admit, my arm around her felt just like old times.

It felt right.

Until Reed had to be an ass with his ribbing. He looked pointedly across the table at us, holding up his beer as if toasting us. “I’m glad to see you two together.”

I felt Gracen tense slightly under my arm, probably not trusting anything that was occurring. I got that.

Then Josie couldn’t help but to throw fuel on the fire. Her grin was mischievously evil. “I’m glad you woke up, Marek. Gracen’s had a slew of doctors at the hospital lusting after her.”

Gracen laughed as did Reed. Josie smirked at me.

I didn’t find it funny at all. Gracen might be in my bed right now, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t available for the taking. The right guy could come along and grab her out from underneath me.

I’d of course reacted appropriately and pulled Gracen from the booth muttering, “Come on, Gracie, let’s go play some pool.”

Reed and Josie’s laughs followed us across the bar to an empty pool table where I racked the balls and Gracen chose a stick. She walked to the end of the table with a tiny, amused smile on her face.

“I’m not jealous,” I’d grumbled as I pulled the rack away.

She chuckled. “Of course you’re not.”

“Good. Glad you get that.”

“Got it.” The amused expression never wavered.

“Good.”

Before she broke, she walked up to me and placed a hand on my chest. She went to her tiptoes and put her face closer to mine. “Josie was pulling your leg. There are not any doctors lusting after me.”

If there was any doubt whether or not I had proprietary feelings for Gracen, it was removed by the rush of immediate relief I felt with those words. Again, the night continued with my emotions seemingly out of control.

“Except Aiden,” she mused as she dropped down and started to turn away.

I snatched her elbow and turned her back to me. “Aiden?”

There’s no doubt she was goading me when I got a coy shrug. “One of Josie’s friends. But no worries…I wasn’t interested.”

I got a mischievous wink as she pulled away to break the pool balls.

“I’m not jealous,” I muttered, and got a rich laugh back from her.

Yeah…I was jealous, and Gracen took great joy in poking at me. We played a few games alone, then Reed and Josie played against us. We drank more beers, had a lot of fun, and the entire time I tried to reconcile what exactly I was really feeling for Gracen. I know I wanted her. I know I cared for her.

I know Lilly couldn’t have a better mother.

I know I didn’t like the thought of her with someone else.

But past that, I didn’t know what I really felt.

I never figured out the answer before we left for the evening, making vague promises with Reed and Josie to do another double date at some point.

It wasn’t until we walked into my house and she pulled me into my bedroom that I started settling down. Despite being turned on beyond measure when she dropped to her knees in front of me, I felt settled.

When she took me in her mouth, I felt a wave of security.

And now as I’m getting ready to connect my body to hers in the most intimate of ways, I feel in control.

For the first time tonight, I feel like all is right in my world.

I press the head of my cock to her opening, sliding an elbow under the back of one of her knees. I raise her up, spread her wide, and while she watches me with hooded eyes, I slide deep inside of her.

I get just a glimpse of the white of Gracen’s eyes as they roll backward before being shuttered by her eyelids. She moans and digs her fingers into my biceps, where she’d been resting them lightly before I invaded her.

My responding grunt of pleasure sounds harsh and coarse to my ears, yet it’s the exact sound I’d expect from something that feels this good.

I release Gracen’s leg and she hooks it around me. Dropping to my elbows, I let some of my body weight come down on her. Let my stomach press against hers and feel the softness of her breasts under the fierce beating of my heart. I press my lips to her mouth, and when I pull back, her eyes flutter open to stare at me.

I think perhaps I could look into the blue of her eyes forever, or maybe I’ll just kiss her for an eternity, but all of those thoughts vanish into cold nothingness when she whispers to me, “I love you, Marek. Always have.”

Somehow, her hands have moved to my shoulders and her fingertips glide over my skin. I concentrate on that feeling, letting my vision go fuzzy so I don’t have to look at directly into her eyes anymore. I don’t want to know if my lack of reaction hurts her or not.

I swallow past the dryness in my throat, rack my brain for what to say. A quick response of the same declaration seems so trite, particularly because that’s not what I was feeling in my heart when she said those words to me. Admitting something along the lines of, “I care for you, too,” seems really to be saying, “I don’t love you,” and I’m not sure that’s true either. My feelings are actually too complex to be boiled down into words, particularly because my feelings for Gracen are now intertwined with my feelings for Lilly.

More important, I can’t seem to muster up a response for her because I find myself questioning whether she truly means that. I’m not sure I can trust her words, and that makes me feel like shit that I feel that way. But when it gets down to it, all I can think about is that Gracen kept Lilly secret for over three years, a betrayal that apparently still weighs heavy on my heart.

Whether Gracen senses my struggle or the awkward silence is too much to bear, she does something that roots me once again in a reality I can handle.

She contracts her pussy so it squeezes my cock in such a way that my balls start to tingle. At the same time, she lifts her head and scrapes her teeth on my jawline before murmuring, “Are you going to fuck me or what?”

My dick responds by swelling even more, a ripple of pleasure flowing through me from her words and the tight contraction of wet flesh around me.

I groan again, dropping my forehead so it rests against her. I let a huff of frustration escape through my teeth that I can’t give her the words that she probably wants in return, but I can make her feel good.

That I know I can do.

Pushing up off her, I plant my hands into the mattress and lock my arms tight. My muscles flex and bunch, not in some vain attempt to impress her, but to hold myself steady while I start to fuck her.

My hips pump and my cock fills her up. Her body bounces and jerks from my fucking, breasts jiggling beautifully with pebbled nipples. So damn sexy that it’s hard for me to look at without wanting to blow my load all over them.

I shut my eyes, concentrate on the moans and gasps I’m wringing from Gracen, who is getting exactly what she asked for. Her chest starts heaving ,and when I hear tiny little whimpers of need, I know she’s close to coming. That’s her tell, and I pick up the pace wanting to punch an explosive one out of her.

“Yes,” she gasps as her legs tighten around me and her fingers dig into my chest.

I slam into her hard. “Fuck, this is good.”

My balls start to contract, my lower back tightens, and I experience one microsecond of pure nothingness before I start to come. Then I’m taken by storm with a bone-jarring orgasm that seems to rip me apart. As my cock unloads, I bark out unintelligible words that might be gratitude, and I’m vaguely aware of Gracen still whimpering.

Fuck…she didn’t come.

I grit my teeth, my sensitive cock still pulsing, and keep fucking the woman who loves me. I bring my fingers to her clit, press down on it while I continue driving into her, and plant deep when I feel her break apart. It’s always the same, a slight stiffening of her body before she arches her back in ecstasy, a long blissful moan filling the air around me. Her pussy grips me so hard as she comes I see stars and possibly experience a miniorgasm as another shudder of pleasure courses through me.

“Goddamn,” I mutter through gritted teeth, feeling all at once dizzy and weak.

I drop down onto her, using my elbows on the mattress not to crush her completely. Gracen turns her head to the side and I press my face into her neck.

We just lie there, both of us panting from the exertion.

From the cataclysmic orgasms.

From the jarring words that were uttered and those that were not.

Neither one of us say anything, and I use the silence as permission to go to sleep. I roll to my side, taking Gracen with me. She hooks a leg over mine, wraps her arm around my waist, and snuggles into me. I hold her tight, wanting to say something and yet wanting to ignore conversation with her forever.

What we just experienced—fucking or making love or whatever—was some next-level shit. It means something that what we just had felt better than anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. Yet I still have that tiny doubt inside that maybe this is just physical and that’s all it will ever be.

For now, though, I’m given a reprieve. After a few minutes, Gracen’s breathing evens out and she falls into a deep sleep.

It takes me a lot longer to do the same.