Chapter 16
Gracen
Coach Pretore’s house is massive, and the minute my foot hits the top step of his porch, I can hear the sounds of laughter and music coming from within. My anxiety swells as I’m getting ready to officially enter Marek’s professional world. I’m not sure what the hell I’m doing here, and I was caught completely off guard when he invited me to the season opening party earlier in the week. “I want to bring Lilly so everyone can meet her, and I figured she’d feel more comfortable with you along. There will be other kids there, but—”
“Okay,” I said softly as I folded a pile of clean laundry I had dumped on the kitchen table.
Marek blinked once as he realized I’d accepted the invitation, then his gaze dropped to the laundry. “You’re folding my clothes.”
“I washed them first. Don’t worry,” I replied cheekily.
“You don’t have to do my laundry,” he said somewhat flatly.
I shrugged. “Had nothing better to do, and you’re letting me stay here rent and expense free.”
“Gracen, you don’t have—” he’d started to say, but I cut him off quickly.
“What kind of party is this we’re going to?” I said, and Marek was sufficiently distracted.
It’s apparently a hell of a big party, if the long line of cars down the streets of the neighborhood are any indication. Marek said Coach Pretore likes to get all the players, coaches, training staff, and executive management staff—along with their family members—together at the beginning of the season to bolster camaraderie. The first preseason game is in two days.
Marek doesn’t even hesitate. Just pushes the front door open and steps inside. I tighten my hand on Lilly’s and we follow him in. She was overly excited to come when she realized there’d be other kids here.
I’m immediately overwhelmed with the sheer number of people standing around and the volume of the conversation. I take in all the faces, and my anxiety increases from the fact that I don’t know a single soul here other than Marek, who I’m betting is going to dump me within a matter of minutes.
Marek, however, takes just a few steps to the left to enter what looks like a formal sitting room, where he walks toward a couple standing there with a few people congregated around them. The petite, dark-haired woman is holding a tiny baby, and everyone is cooing and smiling at it. A tall guy with the most amazing amber eyes I’ve ever seen hovers right behind her.
I walk a few paces behind Marek as he steps right up to the couple, actually shouldering another guy out of the way that I actually recognize.
Max Fournier, the star goalie of the Cold Fury. I never stopped following hockey after Marek and I broke up. I love the sport, and of course I followed his career, particularly the last two years, since they won back-to-back Stanley Cup championships. Max is one of the stars of the team and is easily recognizable, so of course I know who he is.
Leaning over the baby, Marek strokes its chest with the tip of his finger before looking up to the man with the amber eyes. He grins and says, “Thank God he looks like Kate.”
The man merely growls under his breath at Marek before his gaze goes back to the baby and a dopey, sweet, in-love smile takes over his face. Clearly he’s the father.
Marek turns to me and to my surprise, holds his hand out to Lilly and me.
Well, to Lilly. Not to me.
I move Lilly in front of me and give her a tiny push toward Marek. He takes her hand and pulls her up to the group.
“This is Lilly,” Marek says with so much pride in his voice that I’m both touched over his love of our daughter and ashamed this is his first experience with such an emotion.
Everyone warmly greets Lilly with big smiles on their faces. Marek told me that he told the team about her on Monday at the first day of training camp. The woman with the baby squats down and looks at Lilly. “This is Caleb. He was born just last month.”
Lilly’s eyes go round as she peers at the baby. She then turns to me and says, “Look, Mommy…a baby. So cute.”
What follows feels like slow motion and there’s a spotlight on me, and every person in the group now turns to stare at me.
My eyes cut to Marek and he flushes with guilt. To his credit, he sort of jumps at me and pulls me closer by my elbow. “Shit…I’m sorry. Everyone, this is Gracen. Lilly’s mom.”
To his further credit, he truly sounds sorry he forgot to introduce me, so I let it roll off my back. I smile around at everyone as Marek tells me each person’s name one by one.
“That’s Zack and Kate Grantham with the cute baby,” Marek says as he nods at them. Kate straightens up and offers me a warm smile. I nod back at her.
“And this is Max Fournier and his fiancée, Jules.”
I look to the couple that Marek points to and smile. “Hi. Nice to meet you.”
Jules is so lovely with caramel-colored hair and the most beautifully warm, brown eyes. She immediately reaches a hand out to shake mine. “It’s so great to meet you, Gracen.”
“And this is Ben,” Marek says more to Lilly than to me as his hand reaches out and ruffles the hair of a little boy whom I had not noticed earlier standing beside Kate. He’s a good head taller than Lilly and looks a lot like Zack.
“All the kids are downstairs in the basement,” Jules says as she turns to me. “Coach Pretore hired a magician to entertain them this year, as we’re at record-breaking numbers for kids on this team.”
Kate laughs and nods at baby Caleb in her arms. “No kidding. Gray and Sutton also just had babies, and Stephanie is due in September.”
I’m immediately lost and overwhelmed again. So many names, and I don’t know any of them.
“How old is Lilly?” Jules asks me, I think in a generous effort to make me feel more included.
“She’ll be four in January,” I say as my hand goes to Lilly’s shoulder.
Jules grins. “My Annabelle is five and a half. She’s downstairs with my boys. I can take Lilly down and introduce her.”
I start to tell her I’ll come with her, but then Josie is standing there hugging me hard. “There you are,” she says exuberantly as I hug her back. Then she whispers in my ear, “Don’t you dare leave me. I don’t know anyone here.”
When I pull back, I ask, “Where’s Reed?”
“Grabbing some beers,” she says, jerking her chin over her shoulder. No one bothers to introduce themselves to Josie, so I’m going to guess she’s already met them, which means she definitely knows more people here than I do.
Still, it’s nice to have one person I can hang with so I don’t look like an idiot.
Jules inclines her head at Lilly. “Can I take her downstairs?”
I squeeze Lilly’s shoulder and she looks at me. “Honey, want to go downstairs and play with the other kids? Jules here will take you.”
She nods excitedly. “I want to go play.”
I look back to Jules. “Are you sure?”
She waves her hand at me in dismissal. “I’m positive. Plus there’s a lot of the moms down there. We’ll keep a good eye on her.”
“Okay then,” I say as I bend down and give Lilly a kiss on her cheek. “Be good, and if you need me, Jules will bring you back up.”
“Okay, Mommy,” she says, and then throws her arms around my legs for a hard hug. I stroke her hair and then I’m floored when she turns to Marek and flings her arms around him.
He’s equally as stunned and looks like someone just clobbered him over the head from her spontaneous show of affection. Before he can even get his arms to move to reciprocate, she’s released him and slipping her hand in Jules’s.
“I’m going with my girl,” Max says as he pushes past us and follows Jules and Lilly. “She’s better to look at than you lot.”
Kate giggles, and Zack doesn’t even acknowledge him. He merely takes Caleb from his wife, cradling him with such care it makes my heart flutter a bit. “Come on. Let’s go show this kid off.”
Zack gives me a smile and a nod. Kate gives an even bigger smile, and then they’re gone, melting into the crowd.
Marek turns toward me. His eyes cut to Josie briefly, then he asks, “Are you hungry?”
“Not really,” I tell him. We’d eaten dinner about an hour ago. Although Marek said there would be all kinds of great food here at this party, I ended up eating dinner with Lilly. I knew she wouldn’t be able to last until the party started.
“Want something to drink?” he asks, sounding almost gallant.
“Bottle of water would be great.”
“You sure you don’t want me to make you a plate of food?”
My eyes dart to Josie, whose eyebrows are lifted in surprise. My palms start to sweat, because I really figured Marek would ditch me the moment we walked in, but here he is being almost solicitous to me.
“I’m fine,” I assure him with a smile. “I’m sure I’ll be hungry a little later, though.”
“All right.” His return smile is genuine and reminds me of the younger, easygoing Marek I fell in love with. “Be right back.”
When he’s out of earshot, which is basically when he’s stepped only three feet away given all the noise, Josie leans into me and murmurs, “That’s interesting.”
“Weird,” I counter with a snort.
“He’s being nice. I find that charming, considering the way he used to treat you.”
“Probably because we’re in public,” I say dryly.
“Well, I’m really glad you’re here,” Josie says in a surprisingly unsure voice. “Because this is a little overwhelming.”
“That it is,” I agree softly.
Within just a few moments, Marek is back followed by Reed, who surprises me by giving me a friendly hug.
Marek hands over a bottle of beer to me. “Here you go.”
“I wanted water,” I remind him.
His answering grin is mockingly mischievous. “Come on, Gracie. A single beer won’t kill you, and besides, it’s one of your favorites. Especially in the summertime.”
My lips tug upward into a small smile as I take in the green bottle of Rolling Rock. He remembered a tiny detail about me and it ridiculously makes me want to cry. I swallow hard and take the beer from him. “Fine. One beer.”
Coach Pretore’s basement is massive and split into several rooms that flow into one another with wide arched openings in between. I lean my shoulder against the edge of just such an opening that traverses the large TV room with stadium seating and the next room over, which has a billiard table, an air hockey table, and an ornate poker table that seats eight. Just past that room, there’s an actual bar in the next one over, with a massive, U-shaped wooden structure complete with barstools and a brass railing along the bottom to rest your feet on. He’s currently got two bartenders working it.
I’d slipped away a few minutes ago from Josie and Reed to come check on Lilly. I have no clue where Marek is, as he’d wandered off in search of more food. I was a little grateful for it too, because things got a little awkward a few times when Marek introduced me to people. He’d say, “This is Gracen…Lilly’s mom.”
Then I’d in turn get a smile followed by some flicker of morbid curiosity in their eyes. I could actually see it. Wondering about me and how I could keep Lilly away from Marek.
The worst was when Holt Craig came up. He played one year at Boston College with Marek before he went pro, and he gave me a warm hug. But his tone held a little bit of censure when he said, “Gracen, can’t believe you’re a mom. And wow, what a shock to Marek, right?”
I knew he generally wasn’t being mean about it, but let’s face it. The people in this house are Marek’s family of sorts. It goes without saying they’re probably not liking me very much.
The stadium seats of the media room go back four rows, and Lilly is in the first row, sharing a plush, deep reclining chair with who I assume is Jules’s daughter, Annabelle. Many of the other chairs are filled with kids and some of the parents, everyone watching the magician finishing up his act.
My eyes are for Lilly alone, though. She’s never seen a magician, but she understands the concept of magic from movies like Cinderella and Frozen. She runs around all the time saying, “Bibbity, bobbity, boo.”
Right now her eyes are wide and staring with wonder and slight disbelief as the magician throws a bright colorful scarf over an empty birdcage. After waving his magic wand, he pulls the scarf off with flourish and the kids all squeal with excitement to see a white bird in there. Lilly’s smile is as big as the sun, and she and Annabelle giggle hysterically.
“Brought you another beer,” I hear Marek say behind me just as he reaches over my shoulder and dangles another bottle of Rolling Rock in front of me.
I turn to look over my shoulder at him, giving a wry smile. “No, thanks.”
I expect him to push me, because that’s what the Marek of five years ago would have done. He would have thrown all his charm and mischief at me. He’s the man who would talk me into getting hammered with him on the night of an important exam. He was always incorrigible when it came to responsibility.
Instead, he bends his head down so his mouth is near my ear. He lowers the bottle of beer he’d been waving in front of my face. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
I jolt, and again crane my head to look at him curiously. “Sorry about what?”
“Holt,” he says, as if that explains everything. And it does. I know what he’s talking about, but still he clarifies. “When I told the team about Lilly, I didn’t give any details about the situation. Mostly no one here knows anything, so I’m guessing they just think the worst.”
“It can’t get any worse than the truth of it,” I tell Marek softly as I turn away to watch Lilly again. “You should just tell them.”
“It’s no one’s business,” Marek says. I can feel the heat of his body, as he’s standing so close behind me, and it makes me feel a little heady. “But I need to do something to explain.”
“No, you don’t,” I manage to rasp out, not sure if my inability to form words is because of the subject matter we’re discussing or because he’s standing just too damn close to me.
My knees almost buckle when I feel Marek’s finger at my collarbone and he pulls my hair away from my shoulder. He leans down and talks ever so softly into my ear. “You’re right. Maybe I don’t need to explain, but I don’t have any qualms about telling everyone what a fantastic mother you are. I don’t think I’ve ever told you that. Thank you for doing such a great job with Lilly.”
This time I have better control of my body. I hold myself up, although my eyes close for a brief moment of bliss from the compliment Marek just handed me. Not only is it important given how rotten he’s been in the past, but since Lilly is the biggest achievement in my life, the validation feels fucking amazing.
“Come on, Gracie,” he murmurs, and this time his voice is softer. More seductive. “Have another beer. Relax and cut loose a little.”
The bottle of Rolling Rock appears before me again and he waves it temptingly. Still, I shake my head and nod toward Lilly briefly before turning back to him. “One of us has to stay sober. That’s what you do when you have a kid.”
I didn’t say that to shame Marek, and he doesn’t take it that way. Instead, he grins at me knowingly and says, “I have an idea.”
Marek thrusts the beer at me. I take it involuntarily as I watch him pull his phone out. “I’m going to call my parents to come get her in about an hour. It will be her bedtime and she can sleep at their house. Then you can relax and have some fun.”
My free hand goes out and covers his phone. “You can’t call them. They just got back into town last night and have to be exhausted from that drive.”
This is utterly true, and also amusing to me at the same time. But no sooner had Joan and Gale made it back to New York than they packed like hell to bump up their annual winter migration to their Raleigh home. It appears Lilly has two new grandparents who just can’t get enough of her. It took them only two days to get everything in order, and they loaded up the car to head south.
Marek was overjoyed because he’s close to his parents—same as me—and they’ve always been a part of his hockey world. Moreover, he wants to share all the experiences of Lilly with them.
They drove straight through, texting us when they arrived at their house, which is only a few miles from Marek’s.
Pulling the phone away from my hand, Marek holds it up and waves it slightly. “We would make their day if we asked them to come get Lilly. I know this because they were bummed when I told them I was bringing her to this party, as they had wanted to see her. Trust me on this.”
I don’t say a word as he calls his mom. When she answers, he winks at me and says, “Hey, Mom. Yeah, party’s great. Listen, Gracie wants to get stinking drunk tonight and—”
I land a fist somewhat hard into his stomach. He buckles inward with exaggeration and steps back from me with a grin. “Yeah…anyway. She’s a total lush, but do you think you and Dad could come get Lilly in about an hour so we can stay out for a bit?”
Marek listens for a few moments then says, “She’ll be excited to see you too.”
And Lilly would. She fell immediately in love with her grandparents for the few days they were here to meet her and has talked about them nonstop since then.
“I’ll text you the address,” Marek tells his mom.
And with that, he disconnects the call and nods to the beer in my hand. “They’ll be here in an hour. Now drink up. You’re at a party.”
Marek then puts a hand to my shoulder and turns me back to face the kids and magician again. His mouth comes back to my ear as he steps in closer to me. “Look at Lilly’s face. She’s loving this.”
I suppress a shiver and nod in agreement. As I take a sip of the beer, I try to remember that in this moment, we are nothing more than two parents standing here, enjoying our child having fun.
That’s all this will ever be.