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Mister Cowboy by Rebecca Jenshak (36)

January

That’s the last of it,” she said as Timothy carried the last box to the back of his truck and closed the tailgate.

Edward pulled up, and Timothy gave her a bear hug, picking her up off the ground. “We’re going to miss you around here.”

When he placed her back on her feet, she smiled back at him. She was going to miss this place and these people, but she was glad she would be gone before Brecken could sell the place. She really had gotten attached to it.

“I’m going to miss you, too. Take care of yourself,” she said as he helped her into the back of the town car and handed her the small box she still needed to take care of.

“Where to?” Edward asked as the door shut.

She considered asking Edward to drop the box off, but decided against it. One last thing to do before she could call this job complete. “I need to stop by Brecken’s apartment and then home.”

He nodded, and as he pulled away from the ranch, January watched the country landscape slip away for the last time.

Brecken was a creature of habit. Which was the only reason January found herself walking up to his apartment door with the cardboard box in hand. It was early in the afternoon, and she knew, based on his usual routine, he wouldn’t be home for at least two hours.

Not having a key, she placed the box against the door and stepped back to look at it. There was little left of Samuel and Gloria Blackstone, but the things January couldn’t bring herself to throw away or donate were inside that box.

There was no note, but there was little chance he wouldn’t know who had left it.

She was still standing there wishing the man who lived inside would open the door and take her in his arms and tell her the last few days never happened, when the door swung open wide and Brecken appeared.

Jumping at the sight of him in his navy suit and salmon-colored tie, she teetered off balance and swayed into him.

He reached out to steady her, and the scent of his body wash and cologne slapped her in the face. One quick inhale was all it took for her to be ready to forgive him for being an ass. Another second in his arms, and she’d forget that he was having a baby with another woman, who would probably be livid to find out January was at his place.

She backed away and straightened her shoulders.

“I know you said to throw everything out, but I couldn’t do it.” She pointed to the box at his feet. “If you want to rid yourself of the last personal items of your parents, then you’ll have to do it yourself.”

Turning on her heel, she strode to the elevator, all the while pretending she wasn’t leaving a piece of her heart there with him along with that box. She needed to put as much distance between them as possible before she broke down. She would not let him see how badly he’d hurt her.

“Wait!” Brecken’s footsteps came quickly after her, and then he was blocking her from pressing the button to call the elevator. “I don’t know how to do this”—he motioned between them—“with everything else in my life. I love you, but I can’t pretend that Nadia being pregnant doesn’t change things. I won’t just turn my back and pretend it doesn’t exist. I learned that much from my father.”

The more he spoke, the angrier she became. She welcomed the anger. It pushed her past the point of politeness. “I didn’t ask you to. I would never ask that of you.”

“I know. It’s just… I think I owe it to Nadia to be there for her. Any way that I can.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked down.

She wouldn’t pretend to feel bad that he screwed his assistant and karma bit him in the ass, but there he stood before her, trying to grapple with an impossible situation. The only compass leading him was the one that had led him for the past eighteen years. The one that had lied and told him that everything would be fine as long as he did things different from his father.

“Why are you even telling me this? If you want to be with Nadia, fine. But don’t pretend you’re doing it for some greater good. You’re trading one lie for another.”

She stepped past him and pressed the button for the elevator. It opened immediately, and she slipped inside, smashing her palm on the button that would close the doors. He stood in front of the elevator, a defeated look on his face, and she couldn’t bring herself to pity him.

* * *

He just stood there, and I wanted to strangle him with my bare hands.” She tore off a chunk of bread and held it up to her mouth. “I’m sorry, am I breaking some sort of code by venting about him to you?” she asked before shoving the food in her mouth.

Sylvie rubbed her stomach and scrunched her nose as if considering her answer. “Lord, no. I wish I could have seen it. Men are such idiots sometimes, I swear. Have you heard from him since?”

“He’s texted a few times to apologize, but I haven’t responded.”

“That skank Nadia has been trying to get her hooks in him as long as I’ve known them. She’ll be using this to get as close to him as she can.”

A pain crossed Sylvie’s face, and January sat forward. “You okay?”

“The baby is kicking like crazy. I’m telling you there’s a soccer player in there.”

Eyeing her stomach, a pang of longing hit January’s chest.

“Do you wanna feel?”

She hesitated, but Sylvie grabbed her hand and placed it low on her stomach. It was hard. Harder than she’d imagined a pregnant stomach would feel, but nothing moved. She was about to give up when it happened. A small movement against her hand. It was bizarre and incredible, and it filled her with so much sadness for the things she didn’t have that she had to push down her own emotions to be happy for Sylvie. “Oh my God.”

They exchanged a smile as she waited for another kick.

“I told you. The next David Beckham is in my stomach.”

“Or Mia Hamm,” January offered, leaving her hand on Sylvie’s belly.

“Martin says he looks terrible if that makes you feel any better,” Sylvie said quietly.

“I wish it did, but he looked pretty incredible when I saw him.”

More than incredible. He’d looked heartbreaking.

“I should go. I’m working at the bar later, and I need to spend this afternoon calling some prospective new clients. Brecken might have screwed up our relationship, but his letter of recommendation has landed me a lot more business.” She tossed her napkin on the table and stood. “I’m taking advantage of it while it lasts.”

Sylvie smiled and struggled to her feet. “Thanks for meeting me for lunch. Pretty soon, I’m going to be trapped in the house with a baby, so it was good to get out.”

“Don’t worry.” She linked her arm through Sylvie’s. “We’ll put some little soccer shoes on Baby Hamm and take her to the park while we sip wine out of sippy cups.”

* * *

She was stuffing a couple crumpled dollar bills into the tip jar when the bar door opened and in walked Mister Heartbreaker himself.

The bar was quiet. Only a few people remained, and they were all content for the moment, which left her nowhere to run. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him sit at the bar, looking casual, as if none of the last week had happened. She busied herself righting bottles, labels front, and wiping down perfectly clean counters.

“I’m sorry.”

She stilled as the words washed over her. Michael picked that moment to appear from the back, and he stopped in his tracks beside her. He looked from Brecken to her, his hesitation obvious.

“Do you want something to drink?” January asked, finally looking him in the eyes.

The side of his mouth pulled in a tiny half-smile. “Coors.”

Michael grabbed the bottle from the fridge under the counter and popped the cap off. When she reached for it, he didn’t let go, which drew her eyes to his. “You okay?”

She nodded, and he let go, throwing a disapproving look at Brecken before he grabbed a tray of dirty glasses. “I’ll be in the back if you need me,” he said loud enough that Brecken could hear.

Nodding, January placed the bottle in front of him and crossed her arms.

“What are you doing here, Brecken?”

“You weren’t returning my texts.”

“There’s nothing left to say.”

“Hell yes there is. I love you. Doesn’t that mean anything?”

She shrugged.

It did. She wished it didn’t. She also wished their circumstances were different. If they were, maybe she wouldn’t have this giant hole in her chest where her own heart used to be.

Still, she had no idea what he expected her to say. She’d already told him that she would never ask him to choose, and she had reminded him that she never demanded anything from him. She wasn’t going to tell him again.

“I can’t seem to stay away from you.”

“That isn’t fair.”

He was as confusing as he was infuriating.

“No. It isn’t.”

They stared at each other, neither saying a word or breaking eye contact.

“Can we just talk?”

A couple breezed through the door and stepped up to the bar. She moved toward them. “I can’t talk now.”

He stood, bottle in hand, and motioned to a table situated under a flat screen on the wall. “I’ll wait.”

“You do that,” she said under her breath before turning to her new customers.

Work was steady for the next two hours, but she felt his eyes on her with every move she made.

“I’m gonna stay at Carrie’s place tonight. You gonna be okay with him?” Michael asked as they flipped off the lights and headed toward the door.

She peeked out the blinds at Brecken, who was leaning casually against the side of his car staring straight at her through the window. “I’ll be fine, but thank you.”

Taking a deep breath, she stepped out the door and hardened her heart the best she could.