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Mister Cowboy by Rebecca Jenshak (43)

January

Balancing the cheesecake in one hand, she unlocked the front door of her apartment and stepped inside.

“Michael, anyone home?” she called out, setting the dessert on the counter and checking for any sign that her roommate was home.

Michael’s voice drifted from his side of the apartment. “I’m in my room.”

Grabbing the cake and two forks, she walked down the hall and stopped at Michael’s door. He looked up from the book he’d been reading. “Whatcha got there?” he asked as he eyed the blue box.

“An apology cheesecake,” she admitted.

“Chocolate chip or original?” he asked, shutting his book and placing it on the bed.

“Original. I’m not a monster.”

He sat up, and January joined him, sitting hesitantly on the corner of the bed. “I’m really sorry.”

“Yeah, I know. You all right?”

She nodded. All the anger she’d been holding onto had dissipated somewhere between watching Sylvie organize baby clothes and holding the tiny infant in her arms. She hadn’t even said all the mean and terrible things she’d been rehearsing in case she ever saw him again, a small feat in and of itself.

“I will be.”

“Of course you will.” Michael opened the box and the smell of the rich, decadent dessert filled the air. “Are you gonna call him?”

“No.” She skimmed off a bite and lifted the fork to her mouth. “I saw him as I was leaving the hospital.”

“Interesting development. Was it a deliberate run-in?”

She considered that possibility for a moment but then dismissed it. There was no way he could have known she would have been there unless Martin called him, which seemed unlikely. Plus, the surprise was genuine. “No.”

“What did he say?”

“That he was sorry and he missed me. That he loved me,” she said more quietly.

Michael chewed slowly, studying her face as if he waited for her to say more.

“I don’t know if it’s enough. I was holding this tiny, beautiful baby in my arms, and it hit me. I want that. I don’t want to stand by and watch him experience all of that with someone else. With her.”

“I get it, but you’re asking him to be something he isn’t. Nadia is pregnant, and he’s going to be a father to her child, so what you want isn’t something you can have.”

“I know. What should I do?”

“You already know the answer to that. It’s why you’ve been so angry. You’re huffing around like you’re pissed at him or at Nadia, but really you’re pissed at yourself for wishing it were you.”

She paused with the fork up, mouth open.

“Don’t look so surprised that I figured it out,” Michael said with a hint of humor in his voice. “It’s all those chick shows I’ve watched over the years to pick up women. It finally came in handy for something more useful.”

She laughed, feeling a little lighter. “Thank you.”

“Speaking of chick shows, wanna binge watch some Jane the Virgin?”

“Yes, but first I need to call and check in with my father. Today is his wedding.” She stood, taking her fork with her as she stepped to the door.

Michael followed, bringing the cheesecake with him. “Might want to wait until tomorrow. They could be consummating their vows.”

She smacked him with her free hand. “Eww.”

He yelped and jumped out of the way. “It was a joke.”

“A really bad one,” she said but still laughed despite her best attempt not to.

* * *

You’re so handsome. Yes, you are Martin Alexander Wellington.” January cooed down at the baby staring up at her. He made tiny little noises that filled her heart with such happiness she thought it would burst. “Mommy is in the shower so Auntie January gets you all to herself.”

“Does he talk back?”

Her head snapped in the direction of the door as Brecken’s deep voice made her body tense. Dressed in his usual business attire, he held flowers in one hand and a tiny stuffed bear in the other.

“Hey,” he said a little less cheery when she hadn’t responded. Lingering in the doorway, he watched her intently.

Keeping the baby close to her body, she spoke softly. “Hi.”

“How’s the little guy doing?”

“Little guy is doing great,” she said, returning her gaze to the tiny face. “Do you want to hold him?”

“No.” His posture stiffened, and he entered the room. He placed the flowers and bear on the side table and sat in an armchair next to it. “I wanted to see how everyone was doing.”

She pushed. Maybe because she knew there was nothing to lose or maybe because she wanted to see him squirm a little for everything he’d put her through. “Come on. He won’t bite.” She stepped closer to Brecken, ignoring the smell of his body wash and the way her body buzzed with electricity whenever he was close.

“Yeah, I’m not worried about him hurting me. More like the other way around.”

“Just relax your arms.” She leaned forward, and Brecken scooted back in the chair, bumping the plastic against the concrete wall.

“Whoa, wait a minute. I don’t—” His protest was cut short as she placed baby Martin in his arms.

Brecken’s body went rigid and a sharp intake of breath came from his lips as she pulled her arms free. “Say hello to Martin Alexander Wellington. Lex for short.”

“That’s quite a name.”

“A big name for a very special baby,” she said, still leaned so close to Brecken her shoulder rubbed gently against his.

Clearing her throat, she stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re a natural.”

“Yeah, as long as he doesn’t move or cry.”

“You’ll get the hang of it.”

She’d said the words before she realized the implication. He would get a chance to get the hang of it. In less than a year, he’d be changing diapers and worrying about sleep schedules. Where would she be?

Brecken stayed silent, alternating his gaze from Lex to her.

“I should go.” She slipped on her coat and flipped her hair out from under the collar.

Brecken lifted his arms slightly, holding them at an awkward angle. “You aren’t going to leave me here with him, are you?”

“Sylvie should be out of the shower soon. You got this.” She winked.

“Wait.” He stood, cradling Lex close and walking hesitantly toward her. “I never thanked you for the box and the journal. Thank you for knowing I’d need them. I hate to think they’d have been trashed.”

“Did you read the journal?” she asked, surprise apparent in her tone.

“Yeah, I read the whole damn thing searching for answers or advice,” he looked down at the baby in his arms. “I’m not sure what I hoped it’d say.”

“You’re welcome.”

She stepped toward the door again.

“I’m selling the ranch to Henry. He’s staying in Denver for good. I’m throwing him a birthday party tomorrow night. He doesn’t know a lot of people… so, I thought it might be fun to introduce him around. Will you come? Bring Michael, too, if you want.”

“What about Nadia?”

His face hardened. “She won’t be there. I was wrong about her. About you. About it all. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. Will you come?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Brecken.” She wanted to say yes. She almost had before he’d even finished asking her, but the longer he talked, the more uncertain she was.

“Because?”

His face looked hopeful and youthful.

She let out a deep breath. “Because you hurt me, and it still hurts every time I see you.”

He nodded. “Just think about it?”

“Where are you going?”

“Sensual.” He grinned, and her face warmed at the memory. It felt like a lifetime ago that they’d been there celebrating her birthday.

“I’ll think about it.”

The voices in her head screamed, telling her to tell him to go to hell. But her heart, the masochist, was ready to jump back in, damn the pain that would surely follow.

* * *

This was a mistake,” she hissed as she pulled on the hem of her silk dress.

“Come on. You’re going to settle things one way or another tonight. Keep moving.” Michael pushed forward, running into the back of her and forcing her forward.

Walking up the stairs to the very same VIP area they’d sat in only a few weeks earlier, breathing became difficult and her chest tightened. Surely, she could still turn back?

Reaching the top step, her heart beat rapidly at the scene before her. Brecken sat back in a large loveseat, one navy-clad leg was crossed at the ankle over the other. He chuckled heartily, and the white shirt tightened slightly with each one of his breaths.

Henry sat across from him, arms moving animatedly and a big grin on his face as he spoke to the room. She gaped at Tina, not recognizing her at first glance since the woman was wearing a red dress and silver pumps. Victor and a few other men January recognized from the ranch sat around the circle, each one smiling and looking as if they were having a great time.

She stood frozen in place. Michael moved around her, pulling Carrie with him by the hand. “Hey, guys,” Michael said, reaching a hand out to Brecken.

Brecken stood, his eyes briefly meeting Michael’s before drifting to hers. He shook hands with Michael and then Carrie, nodding and smiling politely at her, all while January stood unable to move.

“January!” Henry hollered across the room and waved her over with a hand.

Her feet finally cooperated, and she walked toward Henry and took a seat. His blonde hair fell forward into his face, which was flushed with a contagious excitement. “I’m so glad you made it,” he said, wrapping her in an unexpected hug. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“And me you.”

“Uh-oh, don’t look now, but little brother is about to rip my hands from my body,” he whispered, pulling back.

She turned to find Brecken taking his seat across from them, his gaze intense and laser focused on her.

Henry nudged her arm playfully. “I told you not to look.”

She laughed and snapped her attention back to Henry. “I heard you’re back for good and taking over the ranch.”

“Yep, now all I need is a woman to marry and bear my children. Got any single friends?”

She shook her head. “Oh my God, you’re as much of a caveman as he is.”

Henry winked before turning to his half-brother. “Brecken, where are all the women you promised me? All the ladies here are taken.”

Brecken’s lip pulled up into a grin. “I brought you to a place overflowing with women.” He motioned with his head downstairs. “As for reeling one in, that’s all you.”

The conversation flowed, as did the drinks. Henry told story after story, each one he wove together so perfectly that the room hung on his every word. She listened with one ear, the other tuned to every laugh or shuffle of feet that came from Brecken’s direction. Each time she found the courage to glance at him, his gaze was focused not on Henry, but on her.

When there was a lull between Henry’s storytelling, she excused herself. Her mumbled explanation that she needed to visit the ladies’ room was only in part because she actually had to go. She walked away from the intensity radiating off Brecken, breathing a little easier with each step.

When she reemerged, she kept her eyes down and slid past the stream of people in the hallway. As she reached the end of the hall, an arm reached around her waist, pulling her into a dark corner.

“Oh my God, you scared me.” She glowered and slapped at Brecken’s chest. His mouth curved into a smile, but his eyes had the same dark intensity they’d had all night.

“That was the idea.” He pulled her closer against his hard body and leaned down until his mouth skimmed her bare collarbone. She closed her eyes and let the sensation spread through her body. The time without his touch had left her needy and vulnerable.

“Dance with me,” she asked, knowing damn well he didn’t dance.

She backed up, keeping a tight grip on his hand, forcing him to move with her or break contact. He stepped forward, and she turned her head so he wouldn’t see her triumphant smile.

She stayed out of the center tonight, instead moving to the far corner between the back wall and the crowd of people moving their bodies in rhythm with the music.

Pushing him against the wall, she broke free of their connection and stepped a few steps in front of him, dancing for him. At first, she had to block out the feelings of insecurity as she swayed her body with the beat, but before the first song had ended, she was dancing with reckless abandon. She let her body move for him, call to him.

She crooked a finger at him to join her, but he shook his head, not moving. Determined, she used the wall to her advantage, dancing against him where he had nowhere else to go.

“All you have to do is stand there, stud,” she called over the music.

Grinding against him and then pulling away, she teased his body with hers. A new confidence flowed through her body at her ability to make him this hard from only a dance until he placed a hand at her hip and drew her against him, turning them so her back was at the wall.

With both hands on the wall above her head he moved his hips, imitating her movements from moments before then crushing his body against hers. He ground into her, hitting the spot that had been aching without him. Slow circles and rough movements against her. He turned the tables so quickly she’d forgotten this had been about teasing him and not the other way around.

Inhaling sharply, she held her breath as he leaned in. His lips barely grazed against hers before he pulled back, teasing and taunting with his own torture.

“Are you feeling a little frustrated?”

She bit her bottom lip and shook her head.

One hand dropped to her thigh, moving up and under her dress until his fingers brushed against the seam of her panties.

Whimpering, she bit down harder on her lip.

“Are you sure? I’m only thinking of your comfort,” he said, slipping one long finger underneath the lacy material.

She caved, moving her body to give him better access.

A wicked smile appeared on his face, and he withdrew his hand. “I’d like to tease and torture you right here until you rip your dress off and beg me to fuck you, but I’m so fucking hard I’m afraid I might be tempted to do it.”

Truth was that she was close to already being there.

“Come on,” he said, turning and pulling her by the hand. He shuffled her in front of him and pulled her against him. She let out a little chuckle at the bulge in his pants. “Your fault, woman. I’m hiding an erection like a fourteen-year-old.”

Stepping up from the final step into VIP, she did a double-take at the handsome, new addition standing casually sans cowboy gear. “Oh my God, Timothy. What are you doing here?” She started to step forward to hug him and get a closer look at his non-cowboy attire, but Brecken held her firmly in place against him.

Timothy smiled and looked down at his black dress slacks. “Stick out like a sore thumb, do I?”

She shook her head. “No. You look great.”

“You came. I’m glad,” Brecken said over her head.

“You invited him?” Tina said through gritted teeth, stepping in front of them and peering at him over the top of her glasses.

January held back a laugh and looked back at Brecken.

“Mm-hmm,” Brecken murmured and winked. “You’re welcome.”

Stepping farther into the room, he shook hands and made their excuses. January stayed quiet, nodding and smiling even though she was lost in her own thoughts. She suddenly wasn’t so sure returning to his house and falling back under his charms was such a good idea when she hadn’t said everything she needed to say to move forward.