Thomas Lyle sat across from her. His black hair had grayed at the temples and wrinkles surrounded the corners of his green eyes, which twinkled as he openly assessed his daughter. “You look beautiful. How have you been?”

She forced a smile. “I’m great, Dad. A little confused about the spur-of-the-moment visit, though. Is everything okay in Chicago?”

He placed an elbow on the table. His black suit jacket contrasted against the stark white table cloth. “Everything is great. I’m here to check on you. You’ve been hard to reach for the last month.”

She stopped a laugh from escaping her lips. If she’d flown to Chicago every time he’d been unavailable, she’d be a platinum status frequent flyer. “I’m sorry. I just finished a large project. I’ve been a bit preoccupied with that I suppose.”

He nodded and brought his coffee mug to his mouth, watching her as he took a drink. He set the mug down and clasped his hands on top of the table. The way he studied her made her feel like she was a kid again and she’d been caught in a lie. “Tell me about the man. Is it serious?”

The cinnamon raisin bagel she’d just bit into stuck to the back of her throat. “How’d you—” Her question stopped short at her father’s large smile.

“The necklace.” He motioned with his head.

Her hand flew to the ruby around her neck. “How can you tell it’s from a man?” she asked.

“Call it fatherly instincts.”

She raised her eyebrows and shot him a look. She wasn’t buying it. How did he know?

“I’ve had a number of assistants pick out jewelry for you. All women and all with an unlimited budget. Never once did any of them pick out something as over the top as that.”

She let the ruby fall from her fingertips and gave him a sheepish grin.

“It’s beautiful. It suits you. When do I get to meet him?”

“It isn’t like that.” She sat straight and met his eyes. “We’re not together anymore. It was…” God, how could she possibly sum up what she’d had with Brecken in a word? “Brief.”

“I see.”

She rolled her eyes and slumped her shoulders. “What, Dad? I can tell you want to say more. Go for it.”

“It’s just, you don’t buy a woman jewelry unless it’s serious. Especially jewelry like that.” Again, he motioned to the ruby.

They smiled across the table at each other, the ice broken. “I thought it might be, serious that is, but it ended. He ended it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m okay. Really. But thank you for coming here to check on me.”

“Well, I admit, my trip wasn’t entirely to check on you. I have some news as well. I’m getting married.”

“Married?” she managed to croak around the piece of bagel in her mouth. Tears welled in her eyes as she forced down the half- chewed food. He waited while she took a drink and cleared her throat.

“Yes. I’ve been seeing someone for a few months now. Beth. I think you’ll like her. She’s anxious to meet you, but I thought I should tell you myself first.”

She didn’t know what to say. Her father had rarely dated and had never spoken of getting remarried.

“You’re catching me a little off guard here. I want you to be happy, of course. I had no idea you wanted to get married again.”

“I didn’t for a long time after your mother died. It felt like a betrayal somehow, to her and to you.”

“Daaad,” she started with a sigh but he held up a hand.

“I know that isn’t true, but it was something I needed to work through in my own time. I’m finally ready. Only took me twenty-plus years.” He chuckled softly.

“I’m happy for you. Mom would be happy, too.”

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Before Mom died…” She shifted in her seat. “It’s just… I don’t remember us as a family. I want so badly to remember what that felt like.”

He ran a hand over his jaw and the faraway look in his eyes almost made her second guess her decision to bring it up. “It’s hard for me to remember, too, but I remember we were happy. So unbelievably happy. She loved you very much. She’d be proud of you.”

She had so many more questions, but she held back. It was a start. They’d opened a door.

* * *

She was filling Michael in on her breakfast with her father while perusing the internet, scouring for every piece of information she could find about Brecken.

Michael did dishes behind her. He stopped with a wet plate in hand when she told him about her father’s upcoming nuptials. “Wow.”

“Right? They’re going to city hall next week and then flying to Mexico for their honeymoon.”

Michael gave her a half smile. “You okay with it?”

“I am. It’s weird thinking about him being with someone else, but I know it’ll be good for him.”

She sighed, and Michael glanced over at her computer screen. “I told you not to read that shit.” Michael’s frustrated voice came from beside her as he reached over grabbing for the computer. She blocked him, tossing an elbow for good measure.

“Ouch! Damn, woman. All right, you win, but you need to be a responsible Google user. You wouldn’t research the guy the entire time you were dating, and now, here you are getting pissed about stuff you already know isn’t true,” he grumbled under his breath as he rubbed at his arm.

“Yeah, well, I should have done it sooner. He’s been dating her for over a year. She’s in almost every single one of the paparazzi photos. Look at this one.” She pointed to the screen where Brecken stood in a charcoal suit with an arm wrapped around Nadia’s small waist. “This was taken only a week before my birthday.”

“What’s the problem? You knew he had dated people before you.”

“Sure, but Nadia isn’t just someone. She’s his assistant, and she’s beautiful.” She waved in front of the screen and slumped down in her chair. Nadia’s mocking grin stared back at her. Her perfect, full, red lips shot the camera the same look that January had the unfortunate luck to have seen in person twice already.

“I thought you were doing okay with this,” he said softly.

Of course he did. It was all she’d said the eight million times he’d asked how she was doing since the night Brecken had walked out.

“It’s just—” She paused. “It isn’t just him. It’s everything. Brecken’s having a baby, you finally started dating someone for real, and my dad is getting married. It feels like everyone is moving on without me.”

“First off, I’m not going anywhere. You’ll always be my top girl. Second, why don’t you come out to dinner with Carrie and me tonight? It’ll get your mind off things.”

“Third wheel it on your first real date? I don’t think so.”

“It isn’t our first real date, and it’s fine. I wouldn’t have invited you if I didn’t want you to come.”

“It’s the first time you’ve taken her out on a real date night at the appropriate dating hour—it’s your first real date,” she said, pointing her finger for emphasis.

“Those dating rules are dumb and outdated.”

His comment made her think of Brecken. It sounded like something he’d say.

She peeked back at the screen. They looked like the perfect couple. The photo could have been taken at a red-carpet event instead of some local charity based on how great they looked huddled together in their formal attire and camera-ready smiles. Had she ever looked that good with him? The comparison was no contest. Brecken and Nadia looked like they belonged together. Dark and light, big and small, bristly and bitchy.

She wanted nothing more than to sulk with a quart of ice cream and reality television, but giving in and moping felt like letting Nadia win. She refused to let that woman win anything else.

“Fine, count me in,” she said, standing and placing a hand to her empty stomach. “But only because we don’t have any real food in this house.”

* * *

January had almost started to enjoy herself with Michael and Carrie when Nadia sashayed through the restaurant on the arm of a man who she could only see as a Brecken impersonator. His brown hair wasn’t quite as dark, his eyes not quite as soulful, even the suit he wore wasn’t as nice or eye catching as those Brecken wore. He was a knock-off version of the man whose baby she carried.

“Jan? You all right?” Michael’s voice came reassuringly as she watched the couple move through the restaurant to a table on the far side of the room.

“Nadia,” was all she managed to say.

Michael followed her line of vision and muttered under his breath, “Fuck. You wanna go?”

She debated what do do. They’d waited for over thirty minutes to be seated and another hour to get their food—so leaving before they finished their meals felt dramatic and unnecessary.

When she hadn’t answered, Michael moved to stand. “Come on, you’re white as a ghost.”

“No,” she said, meeting his gaze and resting a hand on top of his. “Let’s finish our dinner.”

January offered Carrie and Michael a brave smile that felt like it might crack her face, and picked up her fork. Michael broke the heavy tension by picking up the conversation.

Her attention went in and out as she sat, smiling and nodding, but lost in her own thoughts. Shaking her head, she tried to focus all her attention on Michael and Carrie. They really were a cute couple. Michael doted on her in a way he did with every woman, making her feel as if the entire world revolved around her, and Carrie ate up the attention, her ear-to-ear smile never leaving her face.

“But why Tasmanian Devil?” Carrie asked between giggles, lifting Michael’s shirtsleeve to reveal his ridiculous cartoon tattoo.

“Taz is awesome,” he said defensively, showing off his arm proudly.

“His parents were hippies,” January said between bites. “He wasn’t allowed to watch television or play with toys—he had to make his own out of sticks.” She winked playfully at him.

“Hippies, really?” Carrie asked.

“More like free spirits. We moved around lot and never had enough money for things like cable.”

“He spent freshman year glued to the common room television watching Cartoon Network,” January added, letting her eyes wander to Nadia.

She sat across the room, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table, her high-pitched giggle traveled through the noisy restaurant, and even from afar January could tell Nadia was flashing a generous amount of cleavage over the top of her tight, neon-pink dress. Where was Brecken?

“Jan, are you listening?”

“Hmm?” she asked, turning to Michael.

“I said you need to stop staring.”

When she was about to tell him that Nadia had staked a claim on Brecken and that she should be with him and not his stunt double, their waiter stopped by to drop off the check.

“I wonder where Brecken is,” January muttered, feeling almost bad for him. Almost. “Why is she on a date with someone else?”

Michael placed his napkin on the table and gave her a soft smile. “Ready to go?”

She glanced back at the couple across the restaurant, and stiffened as her eyes collided with Nadia’s. The smirk on her face was gleeful and mocking.

“One minute.” She wiped her mouth with the napkin in her lap. Smiling sweetly at Michael, she stood. She could hear his desperate pleas as she turned and walked toward Nadia.

Nadia’s eyes widened in surprise as she approached her table.

“What in the hell are you doing here? Where’s Brecken? Shouldn’t the two of you be at home putting together a crib and picking out baby names?” She narrowed her eyes and glanced at Nadia’s date. Looking closer at the Brecken knock-off, January saw the panic in his eyes. “Oh, she didn’t tell you? She’s knocked up with her boss’s baby,” January said sweetly, watching the struggle in his eyes.

He stood and backed away slowly. “I think I should go,” he said before turning and practically running out of the restaurant.

When he was out of sight, Nadia stood, going toe to toe with her. She was shorter and smaller, but she had the sort of inflated ego and wild look in her eye that told January her size had never stopped her from a fight. “Where’s Brecken?” January asked again.

A tug on her arm tried to get her attention, but she ignored it. “We need to go. Now,” Michael said in a tone that left no room to argue, steering her away from Nadia’s glower and out the front door of the restaurant.

“All right, all right,” she said, pulling her arm free once they were outside.

“What the hell, Jan?” Michael asked, looking at her with a disbelieving scowl that sent a shock through her system like ice water over her head. “What were you gonna do, throw down with a pregnant woman?”

Michael reached for Carrie’s hand and they stood united across from her. “Look, I know you’re hurting, but this isn’t like you. You’re off the rails.”

“Maybe,” January conceded. “Maybe I’m out of control, but it feels great. For the first time in a week I don’t want to cry or hole up in my room. I want to scream.”

“You were about to scream at the wrong person.”

She deflated a bit at the concern etched in Michael’s eyes. He let out a breath and ran a palm over his chin with his free hand. “Come on, let’s go home.”

Following behind like a misbehaving child, January let her rage consume her. She hadn’t sat politely and bit her tongue like she’d been taught. She wanted more of this January. It shielded her from feeling the hurt and betrayal that loomed under the surface.

It had felt good, but the nagging pit in her stomach grew larger with every step toward home as if to remind her this isn’t who she was.