I’m not sure that I’ve ever met a guy who has a driver on retainer. I’ve met guys at the law school at the university whose dads have attorneys on retainer, and they act like their family being sued is some kind of badge of honor.

“Here’s the man!” Caleb puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me to a sleek black town car that’s pulled up on the corner of 54th and 1st Avenue. I expect the man driving to get out of the car to rush around to get the door for me, but I’m relieved when he doesn’t. It would be too awkward, and it wouldn’t fit Caleb. He may be rich and hot, but he’s not a pompous ass. He might be assertive and domineering, but he’s not a jerk.

Caleb gets the door for me and I scoot in. The backseat smells like the fresh leather interior of a car that’s brand new. Caleb tells Danny that he know where we’re going, and Danny turns around to look at us, putting a hand behind the passenger side headrest.

“Central Park Zoo? Queens Museum? Yankee Stadium?”

“No, Danny,” Caleb says, slipping his arm around my shoulder, “we’re going home.”

Danny looks straight ahead at Caleb as though he’s purposely trying not to look at his short shorts. He says nothing, as though Caleb’s goofy like this all the time.

“So sweetheart,” Caleb says, brushing his fingertips against my shoulder, “you didn’t tell me why you use your mom’s last name.”

“Oh,” I sigh, looking out the window. We’re stuck in traffic, and that’s fine with me. Part of me is afraid of what’s about to happen. I’m nervous, okay? Zoe would tell me I’m ridiculous and I should just tell him what the hell is going on with me, that I’ve been saving myself for no good reason in particular, that it just hasn’t happened yet for some reason. She’d say that I should dangle that in front of him and string him along, not giving it up until I’m satisfied that he’s treated me right.

But I want to do it tonight. Caleb’s been sweeter to me than any other guy has, and that’s even considering that he soaked my panties during our first conversation.

I feel myself losing control, coming undone. And I like the feeling of spinning out of control. I love it. I’m afraid, but I still love it.

And now, his car can’t get to his place fast enough.

“It’s just a personal choice for me,” I say, thinking about why it really is that I don’t use my dad’s last name. “I guess I never thought about it too much.”

“There has to be a reason,” he says. “Your name is important. The way you say it tells people a lot about who you are. I can’t imagine you wouldn’t be proud to call yourself a Murray,” he adds.

“No, you’re right,” I say, “but there’s a lot of baggage that comes with that. Back before I was in college, I actually used my dad’s last name, but I found that people made assumptions about me.”

“I know how that is,” Caleb says, laughing and looking out the window on his side. “But you also have all the blessings and privileges of being your father’s daughter.”

“What about you?” I say as he puts a reassuring hand on my knee. His fingers are warm and inviting in the fresh, air-conditioned atmosphere of the car. “You must know what it’s like to have people judge you before they get to know you.”

“You have no idea, babe. In fact, that’s why it was so amazing to meet you for the first time. You didn’t judge me. I’m used to everyone in this town knowing exactly who I am, at least the people I tend to meet. It’s so boring. The same women, the same guys. In fact, one of the women at the park is an investor in the company. So I tend to see the same faces over and over.”

“Excuse me,” I say, smirking. “Boring? Your life?”

“It can be sometimes, yeah.”

“I can’t imagine sex every single night with a different person to be boring.”

He flashes me a big smile. “You tell me.”

“Me? I ask, squirming in my seat. “Very funny.”

“Isn’t that what college is like these days? Hooking up, cuddle puddle, all that? Girls making out with girls, even the straight ones?”

I take a deep breath and exhale with a shaky pause. “Not for me.”

“Sweetheart, what’s the matter?” He takes his hand off my knee and wraps me up in his arms as I lean my head against his bare chest.

“I...I’ve never done that before.”

“You’ve never been with another girl? It’s okay if you aren’t into experimenting. Hell, I’ve never been with another guy before. Just not my thing.” He pats me on the top of the head and I look up into his deep, dark green eyes. God, I could get lost in them, just stare into them all night while my fingers trail against his chest. I don’t even need to go any further. This feels so good just the way it is.

“No,” I say, putting my head down again. It’s embarrassing to admit something so intimate to someone for the first time. “I’m...a virgin.”

I don’t know how Caleb is going to react. Zoe thinks it’s a good thing that I’m a virgin, but me, I’m not so sure.

His chest tenses up a little under my cheek, and I know it’s all over. He doesn’t want to muck up something that’s untouched; he doesn’t want the responsibility. I can tell. Which I don’t blame him for. At least he isn’t going to just fuck with me and then dump me like so many guys have done to Zoe. She doesn’t seem to care, but I couldn’t handle that.

I guess it just means more to me.

After a few breaths, Caleb breaks the silence.

“I really wasn’t expecting you to say that,” he says, stroking my hair. “This is wonderful news.”

I start breathing again, unaware that I was holding my breath until I start breathing again, swallowing away the lump in my throat as butterflies fill my stomach.

“Wonderful? You mean you aren’t going to kick me out of the car?”

“Kick you out?” he leans down to whisper. “I’m going to keep you here forever, sweetheart. Here.” He pulls my hand to his chest and guides my fingers over the muscles encasing his heart. “I’ve got you. No one else.”