When I wake at three a.m., she’s gone. But yesterday’s clothes are still on my bedroom floor.

She isn’t running away.

Not completely.

I brush my teeth, wash my face, take out my contacts.

My bed isn’t an inviting place to sleep. It’s a fucking curse. She’s right. I’ve had a year to get rid of this fucking thing. To replace the frame and the mattress instead of just the sheets.

I thought getting rid of it meant Penny had some power over me. But she still does, whether I admit it or not.

I might as well move on with my life.

When sunrise creeps through the curtains, I give up on sleep.

I can’t replace the bed at the moment. But I can do this.

I slide on my glasses and spend an hour rearranging the room.

There.

The bed no longer mocks me.

It’s not much, but it’s a start.

* * *

My eleven o’clock is a woman getting a Latin quote on her ribs. I’m careful about every line, but my thoughts stay on Leighton. The frustration in her brow. The hurt in her eyes. The words inked onto her side.

I finish the quote. Turn off the gun. “Done.”

The woman jumps to her feet and stares at her new ink in the mirror. Her eyes go wide with wonder.

I see this expression a few times a day, but it never gets old.

This is where I belong. I’m lucky to have that. “Sit down.” The demand in my voice covers my irritation.

The woman perks. Her brown eyes fix on mine. Her soft lips press into a smile. “Ryan, this is amazing.”

“It was all your idea.”

She shakes her head. “You designed it.”

Yeah, I added the rain drops. The umbrella. The clouds. But it was all her. Talking to her. Seeing what made her eyes light up or her lips curl into a smile.

I found what was in her soul.

Not what was in mine.

Even so, I accept her praise. “Thanks.”

“No. Thank you. It’s amazing.”

She squirms as I clean her up.

“You’re done.”

She jumps to her feet and throws her arms around me.

I step backward. Shift my weight into my heel. I never get used to this either.

“Thank you so much.” She squeezes me tightly.

“My pleasure.”

She releases me. Grabs her hoodie from the chair, slides it on, zips it until it’s covering her taped on tube top.

I lead her to the counter. Give her my usual aftercare routine. Ring her up myself.

It’s easy enough, but it’s not the same without Leighton.

There’s something missing from my goodbye.

There’s just something missing.

The thought of not seeing her at work every day steals my oxygen. It’s what’s best for her. It’s inevitable. But it’s fucking terrible.

The thought of not seeing her, period?

My stomach churns.

I grab my sketchbook, take a seat behind the counter, work on a mock-up—a colorful ocean inspired sleeve. I’m halfway through a rough sketch when the bell rings.

Dean steps inside. Stretches his arms over his head.

He surveys the room—it’s just Brendon finishing a shoulder tattoo—then turns to me. “How was it?”

“How was what?”

He motions to the counter.

Oh. How was fucking Leighton on the counter? Amazing. But it’s not exactly front of mind. “None of your business.”

“You’re moody for someone who got laid as much as you did in the last two days.”

“I’m always moody.”

He makes that kinda noise. Moves to the Keurig in the corner and starts fixing a cup.

“You don’t drink coffee.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“What are you doing?”

“Something nice for my brother. That okay with you?”

I run my hand through my hair. What the hell is up with him? “Yeah. Sure. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

The smell of coffee and the drip drip drip of the machine fill the room.

I turn my attention back to my sketchbook. Draw an octopus breaking a ship with its legs.

Dean’s footsteps move closer.

He sets the coffee on the desk. Stares at my drawing. Chuckles. “Freudian.”

“Is it?”

“Worried you’re gonna break between someone’s legs?”

Fuck, when did he get so perceptive? “You that desperate for details on me and Leighton?”

“Fuck yeah. But that’s not what I’m getting at.”

“What are you getting at?”

“Why aren’t you reveling in afterglow?”

“Been at work all morning.”

“Still.” He studies my expression. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

He shakes his head. “Something.”

“Why do you think I’m gonna tell you?”

“It ever occur to you that I love you and want you to be happy?”

“No.”

“I do.”

“You’re being earnest.”

“I’m not gonna admit this again, but I want you both to be happy.”

“You knew she was into me?”

“Everybody but you knew she was into you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Not mine to tell.” He turns, moves into his suite, starts setting up. “I don’t know what you did. Or what she did. But get over it. Or apologize. She’s the best thing that ever happened to you.”

“I know.”

“Don’t fuck it up.”

“Trying not to.”

“You need to do better than that”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“I didn’t fuck Kristen.”

I can’t help but chuckle. I would have bet a lot of money Dean took Kristen home. “That’s shocking.”

“Yeah. She was begging for it too.”

“That an excuse to brag?”

He laughs. “No. She was. I wanted to. But all I could think was this girl stood by Penny as she fucked over my brother. Couldn’t do it.”

“Fuck. You have feelings.”

“Don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.”

“You ditching her wedding yet?”

“No.”

“Whatever’s wrong with you and Leigh, I bet you a hundred bucks the wedding is gonna make it worse.”

“Maybe.”

He holds out his palm. Pay up.

“You still owe me two hundred bucks.”

He laughs. “Double or nothing.”

“I’ll think about it.”

He turns back to his suite. “Do me a favor, Ryan.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t scare her off.”

* * *

Don’t scare her off.

It’s good advice, even if it’s hard to put into action.

This is the best I’ve got.

I hope it’s good enough.

I slide the bag off my shoulder as I knock.

Footsteps move toward the door. “Yeah?”

“It’s me.”

“Ryan?” Leighton pulls the door open. Her blue-green eyes fill with surprise. “What are you—”

“Making you dinner.”

“Okay…”

I step inside. Close the door behind me. Click the lock.

“You know I don’t have food.”

I hold up the blue Trader Joe’s bag.

“You’re insane.”

“I prefer devoted.”

Her lips curl into a half smile.

I move into the kitchen. Set the bag on the counter next to the fridge. Motion come here.

She crosses the room. “I’m sorry I bailed this morning. I needed to think.”

“About?”

“I haven’t figured it out yet.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Me either.” My fingers skim the bottom of her tank top. It’s the same thing she was wearing last night—tight, white, with lacing crisscrossed over her cleavage.

I bring my other hand to the straps. Undo the bow holding them together.

“Ryan.” She looks up at me. “What are you…?”

I loosen the lacing. “Feeling you up.” I back her into the counter.

She arches her hips, brushing her crotch against mine. “You’re not gonna freak out?”

“Not today.”

“You promise?”

“Yeah.” I push her tank top off her right shoulder. Then the left. “You’re the only fucking thing I can see right now.”

Her breath hitches in her throat.

“Turn around.”

Her ass brushes my crotch as she spins on her heels.

“Put your hands on the counter.”

She plants one palm on the counter. Then the other. “What about dinner?”

“Bag’s insulated.”

“Oh.”

“Unless you’d rather eat first.”

Her hair falls over her cheeks as she shakes her head.

“I need you, Leigh. I need you to know that.” I trace a line down her spine, from the base of her skull to the waistband of her shorts, then back up again. “I’m not good with words. I can’t explain how I feel about you. But I can show you.”

Her nod is heavy.

“I thought about you all fucking day.” I unhook her bra and slide it off her shoulders. “I’m gonna be fucking miserable without you around.”

“I won’t go anywhere.”

“You swear?”

“Yeah. But I’m not sure my word is any good at the moment.” She groans as she rocks her hips against mine. “I need you to touch me.”

“I need you.”

“Ryan. Please.”

“I want these shorts at your knees.” I trace a line around their high waist. “I want them binding your legs while I fuck you.”

“Mmm.”

“I want you at my mercy, baby.” I cup her breast with one hand. Toy with her nipple with my thumb.

Her groan is a mess of consonants.

“Tell me you want that.”

“Please.”

“It’s gonna be hard.”

“Yes.”

“I’m gonna split you in half.”

“Mmm.”

I pin her to the counter as I toy with her breasts.

Her groan fills the room. “Fuck me.”

“Not yet.” I draw circles around her nipples.

She grinds against my ass. “Now.”

I want to.

But not yet.

I need to push her to the edge. I need to be sure I’m the only thought in her head.

Fuck knows she’s the only one in mine.

This makes sense.

I bring my lips to her neck, suck on her soft skin as I play with her tits.

She groans as my touch gets harder.

I roll her nipple between my thumb and index finger. Harder. Tighter. Until the bud is a deep pink and her groan is half agony, half ecstasy.

“Fuck.” She rocks her hips against me. “Don’t stop.”

I toy with her other nipple. Watch it darken. Listen as her breath hitches. “I love the way you respond to me.”

Her fingers dig into the counter.

“I want every inch of you, Leigh. I want you every way I can have you.”

“You mean—”

“Yeah.”

“Now?”

“No.” I unbutton her shorts, roll them down her torso, over her ass, down her thighs. “I want your cunt wrapped around me today.”

She groans.

“But soon.”

“How are you so good at this?”

“It’s you, baby. It’s how you respond to me.” I toy with her breast with one hand. Run the other over the waistband of her panties.

She arches her back, lifting her ass into the air.

I trace the waist of her panties over her lower back. My fingers skim her spine.

I trace a line over her ass, along her cunt, across her clit.

She’s wet. I can feel her through her panties.

My balls tighten.

My cock begs me to move faster. To tear her clothes off and dive inside her.

Soon.

Very fucking soon.

Slowly, I roll her panties over her ass and down her thighs.

“Ryan.” She leans onto the counter, bringing her ass into the air. “Please.”

“Please what, baby?”

“Touch me.”

“Yeah?” I brush the back of my hand against her cunt.

She’s wet and she smells so fucking good. It takes everything I have to keep my pace.

She needs to stay on the edge.

I need to stay the center of her universe.

We need to be here—this beautiful place where everything makes sense.

We fit together. Belong together.

I don’t have words for it.

But I do have this.

I tease her with one finger.

She lets out a heavy sigh.

Two.

“Ryan.”

Three.

“Fuck.”

I do it again. Again. Again.

With one hard motion, I slide two fingers inside her.

She arches her hips, driving her cunt over my fingers.

Her legs strain against her shorts. She stumbles.

I catch her. Wrap my arm around her waist to hold her in place.

She straightens herself. Presses her palms into the counter to keep her balance.

I bring my free hand to her chest. Toy with her nipple as I fuck her with my fingers.

Her breath hitches in her throat.

Her fingers dig into the counter.

She’s almost there.

And, fuck, I need her there. I need her groan. I need her bliss.

She was right. I would move the stars for her. I will. I’ll do whatever the fuck it takes.

I’ll do anything for Leigh.

But, right now, I need to make her come.

I keep a steady pace, driving two fingers into her slick cunt as I roll her nipple between my thumb and forefinger.

“Ryan. Fuck.” Her head tilts to the right. Her eyelids flutter closed.

With the next thrust of my fingers, she comes.

Her cunt pulses around me.

Her groans run together.

Her legs shake against her shorts.

“Please.” Her breath stays heavy with need. “Fuck me.”

I unzip my jeans. Let them fall to my knees. “Come here.” I peel her body off the counter. Hold it against mine.

She groans as her back sinks into my chest.

I move her to the right. Press her against the wall. Toss my t-shirt over my head. “Hands above you.”

Her palms go flat against the wall.

I bring my hands to her hips. Hold her in place as I drive into her with one steady thrust.

Fuck.

She feels good.

Like home.

“Ryan.” She arches her back to drive me deeper.

I wrap my arm around her shoulders. Hold her body against mine as I pin her to the wall.

She cushions her head with her arms. Turns toward me. “Kiss me.”

I do.

She sucks on my top lip.

I scrape my teeth against her bottom lip.

My tongue slides into her mouth. Dances with hers.

I kiss her hard and deep. Claim her mouth as I’m claiming her cunt.

She pulls back with a sigh. Turns to the wall. “Fuck me.”

It feels so fucking good just being inside her. I want to stay like this forever. I want to die like this.

I take my sweet, sweet time pulling almost all the way out of her.

I fill her with slow, deep thrusts. I feel every fucking inch of her. Then I do it again.

Again.

Again.

Her toes squeeze the hardwood.

Her groans fill the room.

“Harder,” she breathes.

My fingers dig into her hips.

I hold her in place as I thrust harder.

“Fuck,” she groans. “Don’t stop.”

Like hell.

I fill her with steady strokes.

She rocks her hips to meet me.

We fall into a rhythm. I guide her cunt over my cock as I drive into her.

My body takes over.

I move faster. Harder.

My nails dig into her skin.

A groan falls off my lips. “Leighton. Fuck.”

“Come for me.” She rises onto her tiptoes, arching her back, driving me deeper. “Come inside me.”

Fuck.

The need in her voice pushes me over the edge.

With my next thrust, I come.

My cock pulses as I fill her.

I thrust through my orgasm, spilling every drop.

Pleasure overtakes me. Every molecule of my body feels good. Every molecule of my body is tuned to her.

Relaxation washes over me. But I’m not finished. No matter how spent I am.

I slide my hand between her legs. Rub her clit with my index finger.

“Mmm. Ryan.” She reaches back. Her palm plants on my ass. Her nails dig into my skin.

“Say it again.”

She groans my name a little louder.

I find the spot where she needs me and I rub her harder.

Her eyelids press together.

Her teeth sink into her lip.

A few more brushes of my hand and she’s there.

I rub her through her orgasm, reveling in the way she groans my name as she comes.

Reveling in the way her breath hitches and her nails sink into my skin.

When she’s spent, she collapses.

I wrap my arms around her, carry her to the bed, lay her down.

She looks up at me with a dreamy smile. Pats the spot next to her.

This time I climb in next to her.

I lose myself in her arms.