The automatic check-in machine spits out my ticket with a loud whir.

The air conditioning hums.

A middle-aged couple hugs a twenty-something guy goodbye. They linger in their embraces, exchanging promises and I’ll miss yous and love.

Dean taps his foot against the tile. “It’s not too late.”

I wave my ticket.

“So?”

“I asked you to drop me off.”

“You really think that was gonna happen?”

No. But not for the reasons Dean is suggesting. Not because he’s an asshole who lives to cause trouble.

He is. But he’s staying to see me off.

To make sure I get to security without crumbling into a million pieces.

My cell buzzes against the pocket of my shorts. Again. This must be Ryan’s fourth call. Or maybe it’s the fifth.

I can’t bring myself to look at my phone to find out.

“What is that?” Dean nods to my pocket.

“My crotch.”

He makes a show of laughing. “Is that a call you’re getting or you just packing your vibrator with you?”

“My vibrator is too big to fit in my pocket.”

“Go on…”

“In your dreams.”

Again, he motions to my pocket. “It’s buzzing.”

It is. “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing, really?”

“Yeah. An alarm,” I lie.

He shakes his head you’re so full of shit. His sandals squeak against the tile as he takes a step toward me. “Then let me see.”

“I have to go.”

“Am I holding you down?”

“You’re into that?”

His grin gets mischievous. “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. I’ll fill you in if you let me see.”

“I don’t care.”

“Bullshit.”

“Even if I did.” I really don’t. “You’ll fill me in either way.” I should go. I should turn and run to security. But I can’t leave. This is normal. It’s easy. It’s family.

As soon as I leave, that’s gone.

Hell, this might be the last time I see Dean for a while.

Or ever.

My entire life revolves around Ryan.

There’s nothing to go back to in Los Angeles. I want to crawl into my bed and cry. I want to fall apart in my apartment. I want to be home.

But without Ryan, I don’t have a home.

I don’t belong anywhere.

My damn cell buzzes again.

Dean stays teasing. He motions hand it over.

I do.

I need to be here.

I need him screening the message.

I need someone making this okay.

The call ends. Right away, the screen flashes with a text.

Ryan: Penny

That’s all I see.

Her name.

Penny is naked in my bed.

Penny told me she’s in love with me.

Penny is dead to me.

I don’t have a clue what it is.

Dean unlocks my cell with the password.

I raise a brow.

He shrugs. “Like you don’t know mine.”

I know everyone at the shop’s passwords. But I never use them. Even when it’s tempting. “I plead the fifth.”

He reads from a text. “Penny came by my room.” His eyes go wide. “Wait. Shit.”

“See.” My heart sinks like a stone. She came by his room. God knows what they did after.

I don’t get a say.

I ended this.

I broke up with him.

I have no right to hurt over him fucking Penny.

But he’s better than this.

He deserves more than this.

He deserves everything.

That’s why I feel this in my bones. Because everything should be right. We’re good together. We’re happy together. He wants to love me. He just can’t.

“No.” Dean’s voice goes dead serious. “He talked her out of her cold feet then told her to get lost. But, fuck, maybe he should have led with that. It’s like he’s trying to lose you.”

My shoulders soften. “They didn’t have sex?”

“Fuck no. He kicked her to the curb.”

“Does it actually say that?”

“Ryan isn’t smooth. You have to let me translate.”

My chest warms. “He really isn’t.” But the warmth hurts. I’m staring at a bright, shiny memory of what I used to have.

I want it so badly.

But I can’t have it.

“You like that?” Dean asks.

“Yeah. He’s honest. He doesn’t try to charm me the way you do.”

Dean adopts his mega-watt smile. He shoots me an I know you want to fuck me look. “Charm is enjoyable for the charmed as much as the charmer.”

“Is that right?” I know Dean well enough to know he’s full of shit, but his smile is chipping away at the ice around my heart. It feels good, being the center of his attention, letting his radiance light up my sky.

It needs it.

The decorations are all bright, tropical hues, but they feel ugly and grey.

“You don’t laugh at my jokes?” Dean teases.

“I’m not in the mood.”

“‘Cause you’re cock hungry.”

I can’t help but laugh. He’s right. The ache between my legs is not helping matters any.

My body is still singing for Ryan’s.

My thoughts are still turning to his eyes, his hands, his lips, his cock.

Fuck, I want him pinning me against the wall.

I want him whispering come for me, baby in my ear.

I want him splitting me in half.

“Really fucking cock hungry.” He shakes his head. “If you weren’t Ryan’s main squeeze, I’d drag you to the bathroom to satisfy you.”

I laugh so hard I double over. Okay, his stupidity is helping. I almost feel normal.

The phone buzzes. I felt it. “Fuck.” Dean’s eyes bug out of his head.

It’s bad. It has to be bad. “Let me see that.”

“No. I’ll read it.” His voice is steady. Reassuring. Completely unlike Dean. “There’s no way he felt her. I saw him leave looking for you.”

“And?”

“He was worried.”

“He’s always worried.”

“When it’s about you, yeah. Why do you figure it is you tie him in knots?”

“Why am I standing here when I could be going through security?”

“‘Cause I’ll call Ryan and get him on your plane if you leave.”

Yeah, he will. Somehow, he’ll defy the laws of physics to do it.

I stare into Dean’s mischievous blue eyes. “Weren’t you with Kristen?”

“Yeah, I was with Kristen. At the party. Talking. I am capable.”

“You like her?”

“She’s fun. And hot. But not like that, no. I’m not gonna fuck some chick who screwed over my brother.”

“She didn’t—”

“The friend of my enemy is my enemy.”

“Still. Ryan wouldn’t care.”

“I have standards.”

“You do?” My voice isn’t quite teasing. It’s more confused. But I can’t help it. The world is a confusing mess at the moment.

“You think I’m gonna leave when one of you two might need me?”

“Yeah… Of course.”

He shrugs. “Yeah. Guess I would.” His voice is effortless, but it does nothing to hide the concern in his expression.

Fuck, Dean is struggling to bullshit.

This must be tragic.

It feels all wrong. But standing here, talking to him, is enough to make me forget. I’m wrapped up in Dean’s stupidity instead of in my loneliness.

Right now, it feels like it’s going to be okay.

As soon as I say goodbye…

“There’s plenty of hot chicks here. I’ll bang one back at the hotel. Tell you all about it tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow morning?”

“Take you back to the hotel—”

I shake my head.

“All right. Tuesday at work.”

I press my lips together.

“Leigh. A bet is a bet.”

“And if he doesn’t show?”

“Then I’ll be by your place as soon as I get off.”

“And?”

“And I’ll annoy you into coming back.”

I want to be there. I want to be under the heart string lights. I want to hear the bell ring and the tattoo guns hum and the guys laugh. I want all of it. But not with this space between me and Ryan.

“I can’t. I’ll get Em to fill in. Teach her what I know. She’s been asking me to go over shop admin forever. She really wants to have a hand in running it.” I motion give it back. “I can’t text her like this.”

“Agree to come.”

“You know I can lie now.”

“You wouldn’t. You have honor.”

“I’m gonna miss my flight.”

He hands my text over. “Only giving you this 'cause you’re gonna like what Ryan said.”

Ryan: I’m here if you want to talk. All night.

Ryan: Penny came by my room. She had a bottle of bourbon and a ‘you can fuck me if you want smile.’ I could have. She offered, more or less. But I didn’t want to.

Ryan: I’m not telling you this to win points. I’m telling you there wasn’t a single part of me that wanted that. I didn’t want her body or her affection or her love. I didn’t even want her apology. I told her what I really thought. I told her she and Frank are right together. That I’m happy for them. That I want the best for them.

Ryan: I felt it.

Ryan: As soon as I told her, I felt it. I’m done with her. Over her. Completely. It’s so much more fucking obvious right now, because I can feel a gaping hole in my gut. That’s you being gone, Leigh. Maybe that isn’t enough for you. Maybe it’s not enough that I want to be the person who cooks you dinner every night and wakes up next to you every day. Maybe it’s not enough that I want to watch your design company take off, and teach you to surf, and race you around the park. Maybe it’s not enough that you’re my favorite fucking person in the world. But you are. And I want all that. When I see my life, you’re in it. You are it. There are only three things I want. I want to do ink, I want to see the world, and I want you.

“Ryan said something good.” Dean’s voice brightens.

“No.” I bite my lip.

“You have a look.”

“I do not.”

“Like you’re thinking about going back.”

“No.” Kind of. I… I want to talk to him. I want to wrap my arms around him. I want to collapse in his bed.

Our bed.

I want everything to be ours again.

But I need him to be mine.

“You sure?” Dean asks. “You look like it.”

I want to, but I can’t. I need to be home. I need to be safe. I need Ryan to love me. I can’t have the latter. So I’ll have to take the first two. “I’m exhausted.”

“So crawl into bed, whisper I love you, I’m sorry, and collapse.”

I shake my head.

“He loves you, Leigh. You two are the only people who don’t see it.”

“How do you see it?”

“How do I not? It’s everywhere. He cooks you lunch every day. He gushes about you nonstop. He looks at you like you hang the sun.”

I bite my lip.

“He’s fucking obnoxious. Like Walker.”

I shake my head.

“He is. He does love you. Trust me. The guy’s my brother. I’ve known him for twenty-five years now.”

“I can’t.”

“Leigh—”

“I have to go home.” I have to be alone, in my apartment, away from everything that confuses me. And right now, everything confuses me.

I hug Dean goodbye.

“You sure?” he asks.

I nod.

“Let me know when you get in.”

“Let me know he’s okay.”

“He’s not. I guarantee it.”

“Let me know he’s alive.” I hug my purse to my shoulder. Wrap my fingers around my suitcase.

He stares at me like he’s going to ask me to stay again.

But he doesn’t.

It’s a good thing.

I’m not sure I have another no in me.