A winding pool wraps around a lush garden.

Behind it, the sun casts a sparkly glow over the azure ocean.

The guy at the counter smiles as he takes Ryan’s credit card and presents us with orchid leis. Actual orchid leis made out of actual flowers.

Ryan’s smile widens as he picks up a lei and hangs it around my neck.

I do the same to him.

He slides his arm around my waist. Laughs at the attendant’s joke.

His fingers curl around the set of keys.

Mine curl around my giant pink suitcase’s handle.

Ryan presses his palm against my lower back to lead me through the hotel lobby, past the cafe that smells of coffee, the gift shop overflowing with sarongs, the wide courtyard glowing in the sun.

The elevators are to the right.

Shiny silver doors pull apart. Three kids in swimsuits run onto the concrete. A middle-aged dad chases after them. He’s wearing a wedding ring. He’s happy.

I step inside the elevator. Lean against the mirrored wall.

Ryan follows.

The doors slide together.

The rest of the world disappears as his lips meet mine. He sucks on my bottom lip. Soft. Then harder. Then he’s scraping his teeth against my flesh.

He shifts his hips to pin me to the wall.

My fingers curl into his t-shirt. I tug at the cotton. Pull him closer. Kiss him deeper.

Yes. I need this. I need his love and affection pouring into me. He can’t say it. But I can feel it.

When he kisses me like this, I can feel it.

He keeps me pinned to the wall as his tongue slips into my mouth.

I groan against his lips. Bring my other hand to his hair to hold his head against mine.

He kisses me until the elevator dings.

The doors pull open.

Ryan releases me.

My knees knock together. I nearly crumble onto the floor. I need him so badly. I need this—the two of us, in our own world—so badly.

I need to believe in that.

In him being mine.

He takes my hand as he leads me into the hallway, around the corner, to the third door on the right.

He slides the keycard into the lock.

The door flashes green. Ryan turns the handle and motions after you.

I step inside.

The room is gorgeous. And huge.

An orange and teal pineapple print comforter adorns the massive king bed. A matching blanket hangs over the teal sofa. Sheer white curtains fall over the sliding doors to the balcony.

I kick off my sandals. Sink into the scratchy carpet.

It’s half a dozen steps to the balcony. I pull the curtain aside, unlock the door, push it open.

Warm, sticky air greets me. Bright blue sky bleeds into the cerulean Pacific. The hotel pool is to the right. The freeway and the town beyond it are to the left.

It’s like something out of a postcard.

Hello from paradise.

Ryan’s footsteps move closer. He slides his arms around my waist. Brings his lips to my neck. “You look fucking adorable all contemplative.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He mumbles into my skin. “But it’s worrying me.”

“I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

Things I want to forget. “It’s beautiful here.”

“Paradise.”

“It really is. When it’s just the two of us and the rest of the world is far away, everything is perfect. I want that.”

“It is just the two of us.”

It is.

But the world isn’t far away.

It’s infecting my thoughts.

I press my lips together. There’s nothing to say. He’s been forthright about his feelings. It’s just, his feelings aren’t moving fast enough for me.

How can I be upset about that?

He warned me his head was a mess.

I knew his head was a mess.

The whole point of this exercise is bringing him closure.

We’re almost there. Three days, and we’ll be there. He’ll be mine. Or he’ll still be hers.

But I’ll know for sure.

I swallow hard. “I want to go to the pool.”

“Of course you do.” He brings his hands to my hips. Holds my body against his. “You’re part mermaid.”

“My hair is too short.”

“Why can’t mermaids have short hair?” He plants a soft kiss on my neck. “Why are you putting them in that box?”

“If mermaids were real, they’d be hairless and scaly. They’re basically porn for sailors.”

“They don’t have cunts.”

“Sailors love blow job.”

He chuckles. “Do they?”

“Yeah. Everyone knows that.”

“You’re full of shit.”

“Maybe. But it’s true.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Find me a sailor who’s anti-fellatio. I dare you.”

His hands go to his sides as he takes a step backward. “Can’t say I give a fuck on anyone else’s opinions about fellatio.”

“Did you really just say fellatio?”

He laughs. “You said it first.” His smile spreads over his cheeks.

He looks happy.

Why can’t I feel that?

Why can’t I get over this mental image?

Why do I feel the same way I did as when I ran home to show off my report card and Mom’s I’m proud of you, honey was so slurred it was hollow?

His expression shifts to something dirty and demanding. “You want to suck me off.”

My cheeks flush. “Yes.”

“After.”

“You’re cruel.”

“I take that as a compliment.”

“I know.”

He motions to my hot pink suitcase. “I want to strip you out of that bikini before I come on your tits.”

My sex clenches.

“I want you fucking desperate.”

I step inside the hotel room. Pull the sliding door closed. Press my ass against the cold glass.

It’s not enough to cool me down.

My stupid dress is in the way.

Ryan turns, sets his suitcase on the bed, starts unpacking. He’s effortlessly casual. Like he didn’t just promise to come on my chest.

I go to the bathroom—it’s as teal as the rest of the room—fill a glass with water, swallow it in one go.

It does nothing to dampen the heat racing through me.

But then I don’t want to cool off.

The buzz of desire is chasing away all the ugly thoughts in my head.

I strip to nothing in the bathroom. Saunter into the main room. Make a show of bending to unzip my suitcase and dig for my bikini.

Ryan drinks me in as I step into my swimsuit. His tongue slides over his lips. His pupils dilate. His cock strains against his jeans.

But he’s still effortless about stripping to nothing and stepping into his Speedo.

He’s actually wearing his Speedo.

God help me.

* * *

Warm water rushes over my skin as I jump into the pool.

I pull my arms to my sides to surface.

Blue sky fills my view. This pool is huge. And this part of it—the shallow end—is crowded. That’s no good.

I take Ryan’s hand and guide him into the tiny tunnel to our right. The air goes cold as the sun disappears. We pass the swim up bar—who sits at a bar when they could frolic around the pool—then come up to the back of a waterfall.

“On three?” I offer.

He chuckles as he presses his palm into my lower back. “You first.”

“Chicken?”

“I’m here for the view.”

My cheeks flush. The heat of his gaze makes my heart race.

I grab onto everything that makes sense. He wants me and I want him and we’re half naked in paradise.

My hips sway as I step under the waterfall.

Cool water pounds my head and shoulders. My hair sticks to my forehead. My bikini threatens to come undone.

Still, I stay under the waterfall.

I hold my hand over my eyes and look out at the other side of the pool. The deep end. It’s surrounded by people with books and cocktails, but the pool itself is empty.

Which means it’s ours.

The world is ours. Right now, I feel it. I need to hold onto that.

I turn around. I can only barely see Ryan through the blur of running water. He’s all hair and light skin and black fabric.

Barely any fabric. But still too much.

I bring my fingers to my lips, blow him a kiss, and fall backward in the water.

Fuck, this pool feels good.

I push off the bottom. Glide toward the deep end. Three long, slow underwater strokes and I emerge.

The deep end is a huge circle twenty feet wide. Lawn chairs line one side. Fake rocks and plants line the other. They make an almost-natural jungle gym, with high spots and nooks and baby waterfalls.

I spin in the middle of the pool. Watch Ryan swim toward me.

God, the way his shoulders flex and relax. The lines of ink running down his back. The sunlight casting him in a soft glow.

He’s a good swimmer, but I’m better. I dive under the water and glide to the waterfall behind me.

I surface in front of the blur of white-blue.

Water pounds my head as I enter. The world gets darker, more diffuse. Blue sky and sunlight filter through the running water, breaking into fragments of light and color.

Someone moves closer.

The illusion breaks as Ryan glides past the running water.

There’s just enough space for both of us.

I scoot backward, find a seat on a curved section of the wall.

He moves closer.

Closer.

Until he’s pinning me against the wall. “You’re fucking brilliant.”

I nod.

“Fuck, you have no idea what I want to do to you right now.” His fingers trace a line down my neck. Over the strap of my bikini.

He traces its line into the water, over my triangle top, over my breastbone, along the other triangle.

Slowly, he pushes one triangle aside, exposing me.

No one can see—you can’t see anything past the running water—but I still feel like I’m on display.

My sex clenches from the exhibition of it.

He cups my breast with his palm. Drags his thumb against my nipple. It’s different in the water. Smoother and harder at the same time.

He watches as he pulls the other triangle aside.

My breast spills from my bikini.

I’m topless in a pool packed with a hundred people.

My thoughts dissolve as he covers me with his palm. Teases my nipples with his thumbs.

“Fuck.” I bite my lip. Try to wrap my legs around him.

He plants one hand on the curved wall beneath me. But he stays floating. He’s right there, but his body isn’t connecting with mine.

The water is between us.

I bring my hands to his ass. Pull him closer.

There.

His crotch brushes mine.

He’s hard.

I want that. I want it here. I don’t care that someone could see. That I won’t be able to keep quiet. That I’ll probably get arrested.

I only care about getting my fill of Ryan.

He slides his arm around me. Uses it to hold himself in place as he toys with my breasts.

“You’re fucking perfect.” He presses his lips to my neck. “I ever tell you that?”

I shake my head.

“Fuck.” He presses his lips to my neck as he pulls one triangle over my breast, covering me. “I’m gonna come if I keep this up.”

“That isn’t a problem.”

“Yeah, it is.” He adjusts my swimsuit, returning it to its rightful place. “I’m not coming until I get those pretty red lips around my cock.

He pushes back, through the waterfall, to the massive pool.

I take back the control I can. Lead him to the steps then push off them. Back to the deep end.

He chases me around the pool, under the water, through the tiny tunnel, back to the packed shallow end.

He wraps his arms around me.

Holds my body against his as he brings his lips to my ears. “I’m gonna get you back for that, baby.”

“I know.”

He shakes his head. “No, Leigh. You have no fucking idea.”