I step into my nicest dress. Pull the zipper. Check my reflection for panty lines.

None. Good.

This is good. I think.

What the hell do you wear to taste cakes with your fake boyfriend’s ex?

This fit and flare dress must be close. It’s a grey and black checkered print. It hugs my chest, but not in a look at my boobs way. In more of a I’ve got a waist and I’m not afraid to flaunt it way.

I take a seat at my desk. Fall into my makeup routine. Concealer. Foundation. Blush. Brow pencil. Eye shadow. Eyeliner. Mascara. Lipstick.

It’s not a vanity thing. Yeah, I want to look pretty. But, more than that, I want to cover all the cracks in my armor.

I learned this back in high school, the first time shit got bad with my mom.

If you look tired, people worry.

If you look alert and rested, people believe it when you say I’m fine.

If you look tough and untouchable, people don’t bother to ask questions.

There. Perfect. Pretty and don’t fuck with me. Enough to convince Ryan I’m fine with this. To convince his ex I’m… something.

I barely know Penny. I’m not sure what I want her to believe about me. Only that I want her a million miles away from Ryan.

The doorbell’s ring interrupts me.

It’s early. What is Ryan—

“Open up.” Iris’s voice flows through the door. “Or I’ll knock this door down.”

“You’re capable?”

“I’ve been working out.”

She’s here to talk me out of this.

It’s not happening.

I was a little impulsive, offering to play Ryan’s girlfriend without thinking it over. But I have thought it over.

It’s a good idea.

I’ll help him get over Penny.

We’ll spend two glorious months together.

Then we’ll go back to being friends.

No hurt. No rejection. No risk of coming in second place.

Because how can he choose her over me if he doesn’t know I’m an option?

I move toward the door. “Can it wait?”

“You know the answer to that.”

I let her in.

She smiles as she steps inside. Pulls me into a hug.

My shoulders relax. My chest gets warm. Even knowing she’s here to lecture me, the embrace feels good.

Iris and I met a few months ago, when she and Walker started a fuck buddies thing (they swore it was casual, now they’re practically engaged). We became fast friends. She’s funny, sweet, tenacious, up for anything.

Concerned.

Which I appreciate.

Really.

But this idea isn’t nearly as tragic as everyone’s making it out to be

“I’ve already made up my mind.” I close and lock the door.

She smooths her sundress. “No. You’ve lost your mind.”

“Even so.”

“Are you really pretending to be Ryan’s girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“And he’s aware you’re in love with him?”

“I’m not in love with him.”

“Right.”

“I have strong feelings. But love?”

She tilts her head to one side, assessing me. “He’s aware of your feelings?”

“Well…”

“This plan gets stupider?”

“He knows I’m into someone.”

“Someone?”

“Mr. Powers.”

“Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery?”

“You know it?”

“Everyone knows it.” She stares into my eyes. “And he thinks this guy is…”

“All he knows is that Mr. Powers isn’t interested in me.”

“Wow. That’s…” She taps her toe against the hardwood floor. “You’re technically not lying to him.”

“Thanks.”

“You know how that worked out for me?”

“You’re now happy with Walker.”

“Uh-huh.” She rolls her eyes. “You’re skipping over something important.”

“You ended up with him. Who cares about a few bumps in the road?”

She shoots me some serious side-eye. “Remember that night you took me out because I was miserable?”

“Sounds vaguely familiar.”

She tilts her head to one side, assessing my bullshit level. “How many eighties nights have we gone to?”

“We go every month.”

“We’ve gone to two.”

“Is it only two?”

“You’re full of it.” She laughs. “You said the only thing worse than being his best friend and not his everything is being his nothing.”

“It was profoundly less poetic, but, yes. That was the general sentiment.”

“Has that changed?”

“No.”

She takes another step toward me. “So what happens if this ends your friendship?”

“I won’t let it.”

She folds her arms. Stares at me, daring me to justify my claim.

My eyes go to my shiny patent heels. They’re three inches. So I’m eye to eye with Ryan.

“I have all day,” she says.

“Don’t you want to hang with Walker?”

“He’s working until four.”

“Oh.” I move past her. Sit at my desk. Pretend as if I’m fascinated by re-applying my lipstick.

She stays behind me.

Continues staring.

Finally, I break. “You’re right. This might ruin everything. But it might cure him of his tunnel vision too. And I have to try.”

“What if he falls for someone else?”

“I can live with that.”

“Really?”

No. But he won’t.

The doorbell’s ring cuts through my thoughts.

“That’s him.” I push myself to my feet. “I already promised. And I want to do this. Even with all I’m risking.”

Her sigh is soft. “Call me if… if you need to talk. No matter what time it is. Promise?”

“I promise.” I move to the door. Pull it open for Ryan.

He’s standing there in his usual outfit. Snug black t-shirt. Snug black jeans. Black on black converse. Black Wayfarers.

His fingers brush mine as he hands me a takeout cup. “French roast.”

“Thank you.” Warmth spreads through me as I take a sip.

It’s perfect. Just enough half-and-half, just enough sugar.

I take another sip. Let it warm my throat. Jump start my thoughts. “Come in. Iris stopped by to…” Talk me out of this. “To say hi.”

“No,” he says.

“No?” What the hell?

The apartment dims as he pushes the door closed.

It brightens as he slides off his sunglasses.

God, those blue eyes…

“I asked her to come.” Ryan nods hello to Iris. “To help us practice.”

“Oh.” I shoot my friend a how could you glare. “She didn’t mention that.”

“You know how it is? Sometimes, important details slip your mind.” She shrugs and shoots back the same glare.

“Yeah.” Ryan runs his hand through his wavy hair. He looks to me. “I guess we should try this out.”

“We have time to chat.” She looks to me and raises a brow then turns to Ryan. “You brought Leighton coffee. That’s sweet.”

“She always forgets to make it,” he says.

“This is that Philz place.” She stares at my brown cup. “That’s primo stuff.”

“You must drink it ten times a day when you’re at Walker’s.”

“They don’t have cold brew.” She shakes her head. “But if I really want something hot, it’s great.”

“You have one?” I ask him.

“In the car. It’s yours if you want it,” he says.

“Generous too.” She stares into Ryan’s eyes. “You’re already a model boyfriend.”

“Thanks.” He shifts his weight to his other foot. “How’s school?”

“It’s July,” she says.

“Your—”

“Internship. It’s good.”

“You and Walker?”

Iris lets out a dreamy sigh. She presses her hands together. Looks at the plain white ceiling like it’s a sky full of stars.

“You really do have the obnoxious happiness down pat,” I say.

“Thank you.” She smiles. “You try it. Leighton first.” She turns to me. “How are you and Ryan?”

I let my head fill with beautiful mental images—the two of us walking along the beach on a starry night, his hands around my waist, his lips on my neck, his words in my ear. I need you more than I’ve ever needed anything.

My hand goes to my heart.

My lips part with a sigh.

“Amazing.” My gaze goes to Ryan. To his piercing blue eyes, his long wavy hair, his soft lips. I get nearly two months of this. How can I turn that down?

“You go, Ryan.” Iris nods to Ryan. “How’s everything with Leighton?”

“Good.” His voice is less dreamy. More awkward. He looks to her.

She shakes her head. “Try again.”

He turns back to me. Shrugs his shoulders. Slides a hand into his pocket.

His lips curl into a half smile. “Shit with Leigh is perfect.” He stares into my eyes. “She’s the sun in my sky.”

My cheeks flush.

“The silver lining on a rain cloud.” He moves closer. His hand skims my hip. “She’s everything.”

I stare up into his eyes.

I get lost in those beautiful eyes.

He leans in like he’s going to kiss me.

Moves closer.

Closer—

“Ahem. Let’s try another.” Iris shoots me a be careful look.

My body goes cold as Ryan releases me.

He isn’t mine.

He isn’t going to be mine.

I have to get used to that.