RYAN
It had only been a couple days and I was already regretting my decision. Well, not regretting it per say because I would do anything for that little girl, but I would be lying if I said I hadn’t missed him like crazy. I saw him every day but it wasn’t the same. There was a wall between us. One, I’d put there, but it still sucked.
I looked at him over the dome on the game we were playing and our eyes locked. Heat sparked between us briefly before I broke eye contact. Luckily they called our order giving me the excuse to walk away, needing a minute to breathe. Between the brushing of our fingers and the silent stare down, I was losing all conviction to stay away from him. I dragged in a deep cleansing breath and walked to the counter to pick up our pizza, paper plates, and napkins.
Walking back over to the table, I noticed Abby was sitting on one side of the booth, while Philip sat on the other. Abby scooted over so I could sit next to her and as I folded myself into the seat, my knee brushing Philip’s. I cleared my throat uncomfortably and grabbed a plate for Abby, putting a slice of pizza on it, all while attempting to avoid Philip’s heated gaze. I didn’t need this right now. I was trying to be strong. Nothing had ever felt like it did with Philip, but that wasn’t important. We would both get over this thing between us and move on. Abby’s happiness was at stake and was more important than anything. I refused to put her at risk. The awkwardness between us sucked. Even working together was no longer fun. I’d forced him to send me emails of the jobs I needed to do for the case study, refusing to meet with him in his office, the library, anywhere. In class, I’d now moved to the rear of the lecture hall, trying to put as much physical distance as possible, since I’d already butchered our emotional connection.
Abby also felt the radiating tension. She looked at each of us as she took her first bite, melted cheese dripping out of the side of her mouth. “What’s wrong?” she asked with her mouth full.
“Try that again, I don’t speak foodinese.” Abby laughed.
“Foodinese?” Philip asked.
“Yeah, it’s the language of children everywhere… who talk with food in their mouths.” I raised a brow at Abby who grinned, sauce and cheese still coating her teeth.
She swallowed the hunk of pizza and tried again. “What’s wrong? You two are acting weird.”
“Grown-up stuff, Abby bean.” Philip smiled softly at her, but the pain in his eyes reflected my own.
“I know you like each other. Is that what this is about?”
I choked on the bite of pizza I’d just taken and looked at the perceptive kid.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I shifted my eyes away from her, really not wanting to get on this particular subject.
“Ugh,”—she rolled her eyes—“I’m not stupid, but you two sure are acting stupid,” and went back to stuffing pizza in her mouth.
“Jelly bean, I’ve explained this,” he lowered his voice so only Abby and I could hear. “Ryan is one of my students. If something like that got out, they might take you away.”
“I won’t tell anybody.” She was missing the point but I hadn’t really expected her to understand.
“We know you wouldn’t, princess, but if someone else found out and told someone at my school or where Daniel works, it’d be really bad for you and Philip if that happened.” My attempt at explaining it seemed to work a little better.
“Oh.” Her eyes were glassy, and she put the pizza down.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Putting her hand in mine, I tried to cushion it a little more. “You’re more important, and eventually Philip and I will get over the awkwardness, okay?” I tried to get her to look at me but her eyes were trained on her plate. “Abby? Please look at me, princess. Keeping you safe and happy is the most important thing to us.”
“Even if you both are sad? I don’t want you guys to be sad.”
It tore me up that we had been that obvious in front of her. I’d thought Philip and I had done a decent job of hiding our true feelings when we were together. I guess we weren’t as good at hiding our pain either, and she was more perceptive than I thought. Philip’s eyes were downcast. Why did everything have to be so fucked up? I was an adult bettering myself in college, I met a great guy, and the best little girl in the world, but we couldn’t be together. Was it more because of the taboo of a professor and a student, even though both were consenting adults, or because we were gay?
The mood at the table was somber as we finished our food in silence and then went back to the ticket game for one last round, but I could tell none of our hearts were really in it.
“I think I’m ready to go home.” Abby looked up at Philip. She collected the mass of tickets she just got from the game; the girl had mad skills, and we made our way to the ticket counter.
When all was said and done, she was able to get two prizes with her five thousand tickets. The doll and another smaller stuffed animal. Even the prospect of a new toy didn’t lift her spirits.
I picked her up and swung around in the parking lot. “I’ll see you tomorrow, princess,” I said into her hair before setting her on her feet.
“Okay, bye Ryan,” she said softly looking at the ground.
“Bye, Abby.” I waved at them as they drove out of the parking lot.
“Awww, what a cute little family.” I spun around to see Candy standing there with a smug smile on her horrible face.
“What the fuck do you want? Can you not take a hint and leave me the fuck alone.”
“I told you what I want.” She batted her fake as fuck eyelashes at me. I was starting to wonder if there was anything on her body that was real.
“And, I told you to fuck off, it’s not happening.”
“That was before I had proof.” Her smirk as well as her waving her phone around had my stomach dropping out.
“You’ve lost your fucking mind.”
“That poor little girl….” She feigned a pout, trailing off her words with malicious intent.
Never in my life had I wanted to hit a woman until that moment. Her eyes lit up when I took an angry step toward her. She really was sick if my anger turned her on. “You been following me?”
Her malicious laugh grated on my nerves. “This is what you’re going to do, Ryan. You’re going to meet me at this address or I’m going to the university and child services with the little confession you both made tonight. Besides, I don’t see what the big deal is. You and the professor aren’t together anymore and we all know what a slut you can be. Not sure why you’re getting all bent out of shape.”
“You’re a crazy fucking bitch. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I was going to play this as long as I could without admitting anything. For all I knew, she was lying her ass off; it was already obvious she was off her fucking rocker. She typed a few buttons on her phone and mine vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw a video from an unknown number. Guess it’s time to change my number. “How the fuck did you get my number?”
She shrugged as if unconcerned. The video was our conversation with Abby. Fuck me. “This doesn’t prove anything. Sure we admitted to an attraction to each other but that’s all. We also explained to her why we can’t act on it. Sorry, bitch, you haven’t got shit.” Another text message came through. This one was a picture taken from the hall of my dorm room, when I’d brazenly answered the door in nothing but my boxers. Shit. That one looked bad. It was the night that I found out Sylvia was threatening Abby. Another message came through with a second picture of me ushering Philip into my room. My eyes went wide as I cursed under my breath. The crazy bitch had been stalking me because I refused to fuck her. The girl was twisted in the worst way. “Still doesn’t prove a damn thing.” I stomped off to my car pissed about the whole situation.
I drove faster than I should have as I weaved through town. Going to the one place where I could get some clarity. Philip will know what to do.