CONNOR’S WORDS AS WE STOOD on the beach earlier today have been playing over and over in my mind. Yes, I’ve always been strong, and now, I’m showing my weakest side. I’m at my most vulnerable and that frightens me.
The world, the media, they’ve always seen my strong side and I’m not sure I want them to see this side of me.
My tears have long gone and the smile that’s been on my face the rest of the day hasn’t been painted on. It’s real because Connor has made me feel like me again. I feel human. I’ve laughed so hard at some of the funny things he’s said, stupid things that made no sense. It’s been a fun filled day, and he took me for lunch. A little quaint place where nobody knew either of us. If they did recognise us, they didn’t let on.
Today has been perfect. Just what the doctor would’ve ordered, if I had been seeing one. Maybe that’s something else I should do to get some help with my sleeping and anxiety.
Now though, I’m feeling anxious about going out. I’ve stopped myself twice from calling Julie and cancelling our night on the town. I know deep down that my fears are unjustified but I can’t help it. Self-doubt is hard to overcome. I want to be strong, prove to myself that I’m still me, regardless of the whole Donovan Bell situation.
My bedroom door opens and there stands my best friend, Julie. “Right, you, I have wine,” she says, holding up the bottle in her hand and two glasses. I laugh when I look at her feet. How she’s managed to walk up the stairs in those heels carrying all that, I’ll never know. “And I have my clothes. You, my friend, can tell me what has kept you locked up in this house like a prisoner, ignoring my phone calls and pleading messages. Then I can tell you how stupid you’ve been and we’ll kiss and make up and be friends again.”
And, just like that, she marches across the room and plonks herself down on the bed. “Hopefully, whatever you tell me will explain why we are in the smallest room of your house. Oh, and please tell me the handsome Connor Andrews is still single? Although, it will make no difference. He’s only ever had eyes for y . . .”
She stops what she’s saying and stares at me, thinking of what to say next, but I don’t let her speak. “As far as I’m aware he’s single.”
“Okay, next question. How long is he staying with you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay, I can work with that. There are two hotties downstairs in your kitchen and you’re hiding away up here alone.” Who else is downstairs? I must look puzzled because she answers my unspoken question. “Callum and Connor are sitting in your kitchen having a few beers, laughing and joking.”
“I see.”
“Who else were you expecting? Donovan, maybe?”
“No. I don’t expect to see him any time soon,” I say with a heavy feeling in my chest.
She puts her clothes down on the bed, then she proceeds to open the wine and pours it.
“Here’s to friends. Even the stupid one who is trying hard to rein in all her emotions, but her best friend can see straight through her.” She hands me a glass and I take a deep breath before I take the first sip.
“Yes, I’ve been stupid and foolish and, yes, I should’ve seen you before now, especially with everything going on. I’ve pushed you away when all I’ve needed was my friends. I’m sorry.”
She puts her glass down on the bedside unit. “Ella, everything will be okay. And I’m glad you texted today because, like it or not, I was coming here tonight, regardless. I’ve been a bad friend leaving you to wallow in your own self-pity. I know I was out of the country for a month, but that still doesn’t explain why I didn’t push harder to see you. So, for that, I’m sorry.” And that is why we’re friends. “Now, spill it. Tell me what the great Donovan fucking Bell has done.” She’s another one that isn’t a huge Donovan fan.
I’m beginning to see a pattern. Why the hell did I not see it before?
We sit curled up on my bed, drinking wine, and I tell her everything.
“Okay, I’m slightly gobsmacked by all this. I don’t really know what to say to you, except Donovan Bell is an arsehole and obviously doesn’t know what’s good for him. He’s the fool. I hope you’re going to drag his name and sorry arse through the gutters. And what about his hunky friend? Why is he staying here? I should march straight back down the stairs and slap him.”
“This isn’t Connor’s fault. He didn’t know about any of this until yesterday.”
“And you believe him?”
“Yes. He’s almost as mad as Callum and my dad. He wants a new agent. Dad is sorting out everything for us.”
“So a question; you and Donovan. Are you over?”
“Yes.” There’s no hesitation in my voice, although I do hear a pang of sadness. I suppose that’s to be expected. He’s been in my life for the last five years; you don’t just get over that in a few days. Although, I really do wish it was that easy. I need to think about packing his things. That might help me, give me some closure.
“Glad to hear it. It’s about time. I always thought you were too good for him and this just proves I was right. Now, it’s my mission to get us very drunk tonight and have a good time. Maybe even find you someone you can use for the night to fuck Donovan Bell out of your system.” I gasp at her words. That’s the last thing I want to do. “All the boring stuff can wait until Monday.”
I nod in agreement because, what else can I do? We both laugh. My dear friend certainly has a way with words. We spend the next hour and a half drinking wine and getting ready, doing each other’s hair and make-up. All the fun stuff you do with your best friend. Things that have been missing from my life lately.
“There. You look perfect. Not too slutty and not too sophisticated,” Julie says as she stands back and takes in my appearance. As I look in the mirror, I see she’s done good. The colour in my hair now really stands out with the way it’s been curled. My make-up isn’t too heavy. And this dress must be the only dress in my wardrobe that actually fits me. The last time I tried it on it was at least a size too small, but not now it’s perfect. With its knee length hemline, not too showy at the boobs and low back, it’s the perfect little black dress.
“Thanks, and so do you.”
“Let’s go downstairs. Maybe we can talk Callum and Connor into coming out with us.”
“I don’t know about that.” I know I said that to Connor earlier today, but now I’ve spent some time with Julie, maybe it would be better if it were just the two of us.
We leave the mess behind and head downstairs. They’re in the kitchen. Julie walks on in front of me, and I pause, finding myself watching them. Old memories come flooding back to me of Connor and Donovan sitting there in that same spot. I give myself a shake. Connor lifts his head, slowly running his eyes up my body. I try to turn away, not wanting him to see me, but I can’t. His eyes meet mine and a slow smile spreads on his face. His eyes never break contact with mine and, suddenly, I wish I was anywhere but here. I’m transported back to the first time I met Connor.
“You are the most beautiful woman here tonight and I’m honoured to be finally meeting you, Ella McGregor.”
I feel the heat in my cheeks as he lifts my hand and raises it to his mouth, placing the softest of kisses on my hand. I shouldn’t be standing here allowing another man to flirt with me since I’m on a first date.
“And you are?” I ask as his eyes roam my body. I know who he is, but he doesn’t know that.
“Connor Andrews. Hopefully, one day I’ll be lucky enough to star alongside you. After dinner, I think I should have the first dance.”
Coughing from Donovan interrupts the conversation. “I think you’ll find Ella’s first dance belongs to me. Ella, I see you’ve met my friend Connor. Connor; my date.”
Poor Connor. I actually feel kinda sorry for him as he stands there, mouth open, glancing between Donovan and me in disbelief.
“Wow, look at you, sis. You look amazing. So much better than you did yesterday.” Callum’s words stop my train of thought and also stop me turning and walking away. “You having another drink before you head out?”
“I don’t think we . . .” |
“Yeah, why not?” Julie interrupts. “But I also think you two should keep us company.” What the hell is she playing at? I can’t be spotted on a night out with another man or men, even if one is my brother.
“What do you think, Connor? I can think of worse ways to spend my night.” Callum’s eyes are on Julie as he speaks.
Really, this isn’t going to end well.
“Yeah, sure. I did make a promise to your dad that I would look after you and, after last night, maybe it’s as well me staying close to you.”
My shoulders sag in frustration. Callum laughs and I want to kill them both. Julie’s eyes dart between us, wanting to know what the private joke is. Well, I’m sure Connor can fill her in. He’s already told my dad and, from the look of it, Callum.
“I think we’ll leave the drink and head out now, before I change my mind,” I say, taking my phone from my bag and calling a taxi.
“Ella, honey, what’s wrong?” Julie asks out of earshot.
“Nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing. To me it looks as though you’ve finally seen through Connor’s feelings for you.”
“What the hell? And you knew? Why didn’t you say something before now?”
He has feelings for me? I stand looking into Julie’s eyes, hoping that we’ve all got this wrong, but I only see her conformation. I don’t need this. Not now. And not Connor Andrews. But now I pause and think about it, some things make sense. His slip of the tongue yesterday, and Julie upstairs almost said as much.
“Because he and I both knew you were taken, but you’re not anymore.”
“Bloody hell. He’s my friend. But first and foremost, he’s been Donovan’s friend for years.”
“That may be so but he’s always wanted you. Now, here we are years later and you’re both single. Funny that.” I don’t know what to say to my best friend.
“I’m not interested in anyone.”
“Maybe. But Donovan’s been gone months. Do you really think after everything you’ve found out that he’s stayed faithful to you? Come on, Ella. You’re not that dumb.”
“Cheers for that.”
“Only saying it how I see it. You should know me well enough by now.”
Yes, I do. Now, why do I feel as though tonight is going to be a disaster? Because everything else in my life has been that way lately. Why should tonight be any different?
I can hear chairs being scraped against my kitchen floor as the guys move. How is it that it’s taken Julie and I over an hour to get ready, and that’s quick for us, but guys don’t even bother? Well, in Connor and Callum’s defence, neither of them need to do much. They both look incredible, and I know they’ll have ladies falling at their feet.
“Taxi is here,” I call through to the kitchen after receiving a text and opening the gates.
“Okay, we’re ready,” Callum says, looking all smug with himself. I glance toward Julie and back to him and I now realise why; it’s written all over his perfect face. He likes her. Really likes her.
“Come on. What are we waiting for?” Julie says, leading the way outside. I stop to switch on the alarm and lock the front door. I gasp when I turn around. Connor is standing there on the steps waiting for me.
“If you’d rather we didn’t go with you I can drag your brother to a bar.”
“No, don’t be silly. As you said, you might need to look after me tonight if I have one too many drinks.”
He reaches out and takes my hand. I pause, thinking what this might look like, but let him lead the way to the waiting taxi. We’re friends after all.